Kiss and Tell
A Word: This was done for pure amusement. Nothing else.
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Kiba growls as his head slams back against the ground. Clawed fingers automatically go for his assailant's throat, but he checks the movement at the last minute grabbing cloth instead. He takes a breath to demand what the hell's going on, but a mouth as hard as the ground slams over his cutting the words off. He bucks against the weight holding him down and glares at the blur of color too close to his face. Teeth press too hard and blood floods his mouth, he can't tell whose and he really doesn't give a shit.
Twisting and squirming he manages to get one hand free from between their chests. He immediately brings it up in a fist but only manages to graze his opponent's shoulder. It's enough to break them apart though.
"What the hell?!" Kiba's up in seconds scrubbing the blood from his lips harshly, torn between flying at the other man and warily keeping his distance.
"Keep it down," aside from a still bleeding lip Shikamaru looks completely unruffled as he lazily shrugs. "You asked."
"I- and you-" Kiba sputters, anger lost as his mind goes completely blank under the confusion of Shikamaru's answer. "I asked you what kinda mission you got!"
Shikamaru sighs and tosses a scroll at him. "Yeah, that was the whole point."
The scroll thumps against Kiba's chest and he automatically catches it. He eyes the other man suspiciously before looking at the scrolls contents. It takes a few minutes for him to realize a lot of long and flowery words were used to order one shinobi to knock down and kiss the hell outta the first person to ask them about their mission. "-the hell?"
"Man, I hate it when rich people get bored," Shikamaru leans against the nearest tree. "It's such a pain in the ass."
"Wait," Kiba looks up, confusion and anger put aside as the sheer potential of the task registers. The violation of his own lips forgotten as he thinks about just who might be enticed to ask about missions. "You mean you get these things often?"
"Unfortunately," Shikamaru snorts at Kiba's interest. "Whatever you're thinking, it's not worth it. Last time I had one of these Rock Lee asked me about my mission."
Kiba shudders. He's wondered why Lee had been following Shikamaru last month talking about 'doing things properly.' "Yeah, but-"
"And the time before that it was Neji," Shikamaru grimaces as he hunches over. One hand rising to rub at the back of his neck. "Spent a whole week in the hospital for that one."
Kiba's jaw drops. Neji and Shikamaru. Kissing. His mind kindly informs him that it can't deal with that thought before forcefully kicking his attention elsewhere. "Couldn't you-"
"The Sunagakure delegation was visiting for the one before that," Shikamaru continues grimly, not waiting for Kiba to finish his thought. "I think that was the first and last time Gaara spoke to me without the threat of death."
Gaara. Awe and mind numbing fear war with each other for several speechless moments. Kiba's mind shuts down completely, and he stares at the other man blankly for several minutes. "How are you still alive?"
"Because the gods hate me," Shikamaru says with feeling.
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