Come Wake Me Up
Summary: Tony needs to forget Loki. Loki/Tony; includes flashbacks (in bold italics!). MENTIONS OF CHARACTER DEATH!
Disclaimer: Marvel owns characters, song belongs to Rascal Flatts
I can usually drink you right off of my mind
But I miss you tonight
Tony usually could forget about Loki.
But tonight was a little different.
I can normally push you right out of my heart
But I'm too tired to fight
Tony sat on the floor against the wall with a bottle of Jack he had bought that day; it was almost gone already. He let the tears fall free; he couldn't take the stress anymore of holding back.
Yeah the whole thing begins
And I let you sink into my veins
And I feel the pain like it's new
"Tony, we have some bad news," Thor said once Tony opened the door.
"Loki's dead," Steve said. "He was helping infiltrate an enemy base and he just…"
Tony slammed the door shut.
Everything that we were,
Everything that you said,
Everything that I did and that I couldn't do
Plays through tonight
Tony still didn't believe them; even after they found the body, he still refused.
But every day it got more and more real.
Tonight your memory burns like a fire
With every one it grows higher and higher
And I can't get over it, I just can't put out this love
He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand and closed his eyes.
"Hey, don't worry, it'll be okay," Tony said to a worried Loki. Loki turned to look at Tony, eyes brimming with tears.
"No it won't," Loki said, forcing Tony's hands away.
Tony responded by looking hurt.
I just sit in these flames and pray that you'll come back
Close my eyes tightly, hold on and hope that I'm dreaming
Come wake me up
Tony couldn't believe that they had kept it a secret for as long as they did. Almost two years of secret meetings and useless name-calling so no one would suspect them.
And to think the last conversation they had was a fight over something stupid.
Turn the TV up loud just to drown out your voice, but I can't forget
Now I'm all out of ideas and baby I'm down to my last cigarette
"Tony, you dumb animal!" Loki cried, pushing Tony back into the wall. He tried to storm away, but Tony had caught him and held him in his arms.
"Let me go!" Loki cried out.
"Not until you calm down!" Tony yelled back.
"They think we are disgusting creatures now Tony!"
Loki never called Tony by his first name…EVER, even when they were in the same room as the others.
"Then leave," Tony said, letting Loki free. "If you want to believe them then leave."
Yeah, you're probably asleep deep inside of your dreams
while I'm sitting here crying and trying to see
Yeah, wherever you are baby now
I am sure you moved on and aren't thinking twice about me
And you tonight
Tony cried harder with every memory that buzzed through his drunken mind.
He took another swig of Jack, ignoring the knocks he could hear from down below. No doubt the others were trying to get inside, worried about him.
Tonight your memory burns like a fire
With every one it grows higher and higher
But they never tried talking to them when they criticized him and Loki's relationship.
And now Loki was dead.
I can't get over it, I just can't put out this love
I just sit in these flames and pray that you'll come back
Close my eyes tightly, hold on and hope that I'm dreaming
Even the word 'dead' caused more pain and torment through Tony's body. He was sure if he still had a heart, it would be broken and then he would die because of it.
I know that you're movin' on
I know I should give you up
But I keep hopin' that you'll trip and fall back in love
"Shhhh…" Tony whispered, holding a finger to his lips. Loki stopped talking, looking at the older man.
Tony reached down and stroked Loki's cheek and then gave him a passionate, but soft, kiss.\
That was years ago and something Tony knew he would never do again.
Time's not healin' anything
Baby, this pain is worse than it ever was
I know that you can't hear me, but baby I need you to save me tonight
Tony knew death wasn't an option; in all his findings about himself he couldn't find a way to do it himself.
So, he drank every night replaying memories. He barely ate, showered, or slept. His bedroom was a complete disaster but he didn't care.
Tonight your memory burns like a fire
With every one it grows higher and higher
I can't get over it, I just can't put out this love
"Tony, how can you sleep with your room like this?" Loki asked, looking around at the clothes and sheets strewn about the floor.
"I am barely ever in here, even to sleep," Tony responded with a smile. He continued to look for a shirt to give to Loki.
Tony smiled at the thought of Loki wearing one of his favorite shirts.
I just sit in these flames and pray that you'll come back
Close my eyes tightly, hold on and hope that I'm dreaming
Tony knew he couldn't take back any hurtful thoughts he had thought or said to Loki. He knew that no one else could take their hurtful words towards Loki either.
Come wake me up
Oh, I'm dreaming
Tony hoped it was only a dream.
But even Tony Stark knew that this was reality and it hurt him like hell.
Come wake me up
Oh, I'm dreaming
A/N: So I heard this song and I instantly thought of Tony because I know he likes to have some casual drinks I decided to make it deep though.
