Ready, Able

A Emil X Richter Fanfic

By: Kotomi Mitsurugi

Chapter 1:

Five Years

Writers Note:

I believe that this parring is probably one of my most favorites of all time! I hope I do them justice.

Enjoy :)

"Richter Abend...Never had I gone through a day without thinking about him. He was the first person who ever gave me hope and the very man who gave me courage. I can't believe he gave up 1000 years of his life in order to make up for his mistakes and help keep the Ginnugagap sealed. When he asked Ratatosk to let me free, as I deserved a chance at life as Emil Castagnier, I remember that my heart sank. I wish I had told him where I belonged. I belonged with him and not with Marta Lualdi.

Sometimes I wish I never met him...

I tried being happy with Marta and accepting the fact that I would spend the rest of my life with her here in Palmacosta. I tried being a good partner towards her. Sex and saying "I love you" has always been hard for me, but overall I've pulled off a really good act for Marta. No matter hard I try, I cannot truly fool myself that I am genuinely happy with her. All this acting and all these lies I try to feed myself make me sick to my stomach.

Maybe I should just end-"

"Emil? Earth to Emil! Did you not hear what I just said?" Marta snapped as she was washing the dishes, still in her PJ's.

I was sitting at our table in my usual robe, catching myself still staring at my empty plate. I replied softly, "No, I'm sorry...I'm still trying to wake up. What did you say, honey?"

Marta's annoyed face softened and she smiled "Well, drink some of that coffee I made for you. I know you haven't been sleeping well"

I glanced at my untouched coffee and decided to take a sip. Ick. Too much sugar. I shrugged it off and drank it anyways. She was right about the recent, sleepless nights. Nightmares...

"Anyways, I was just reminding you that I'm going on a quick trip to Meltokio to see my Daddy. I'll be leaving around noon today." Marta went on as she grabbed my empty plate. I mumbled a quick "thank-you".

"Oh, I remember now." I replied with a forced smile. "Don't worry about me, I'll be more than happy to take care of the house while you're gone."

Marta turned to me as she turned off the sink faucet, "Aww, I know you'll be more than okay, my handsome Knight of Ratatosk! Just promise you won't have too much fun while I'm gone." She procceeded towards me and gave me heartfelt kiss. She pulled away and gave me a look that made my stomach drop. "Maybe you could give me a reason to come back to you..."

She leaned in for another kiss, but this time her tongue demanded more of my attention. I closed my eyes and forced myself to kiss back with equal passion. Her dainty hands worked their way into my hair and she began to tug as her kisses became more fierce. I fought my urges to pull away from her and started taking off her tank-top along with her sweat-pants. Before I knew it, we both ended up on the floor naked.

My eyes remained closed as she began to suck me off. The hardest part of sex was to obtain a hard-on and keep it that way until she was done. After a while, I learned how to close my mind to her face and invite a new face to think about. Richter... This always did the trick.

I gripped her hair, imagining it was Richter's and began to shiver uncontrollably. I had to almost refrain myself from screaming his name as she bobbed her head up and down my shaft. Before I came, she stopped suddenly and crawled on top of me. Marta guided my cock into her womanhood and she let out a soft whimper of pleasure. She rode me for what it seemed like an eternity. Richter's face was beginning to fade from my mind as Marta's moans became overwhelming. Within a minute or so, Marta let out a final scream and she crashed onto the floor beside me. It was finally over.

After a few moments, Marta squirmed next to me, "Wow, that was amazing..."

I almost laughed. She says that every time.

"You think so?" I asked while looking up at the ceiling.

She gave me a playful shove, "'Course I do, Emil! You're so good..." She kissed my cheek and checked the clock. "Oh no! It's already almost noon? I gotta get ready!" She jumped up and grabbed her clothes and headed off into the bedroom. I sat up and cupped my face into my palms.

"Why do I keep putting myself through this? I'm sick and tired of living a lie!"

Instead of letting myself break down, I decided to get dressed for the day. I headed towards our bedroom and noticed that my clothes for the day were already laid out for me on the bed. Marta was already dressed and packing the last few things in her travel bag.

I smiled at her, "Thank-you for setting out my clothes." Marta smiled back at me with praise. "I hope you have a safe trip. How long are you going to be gone?"

"Well, with the help of my Rheiard, it shouldn't take me more than 5 days to leave, visit for a couple of days and head back home." Marta stated lightheartedly. "I promise to bring you back something!"

"No, just worry about seeing your father, Marta. Gifts can wait." I sighed as I pulled my shirt over my head. Every time she leaves town, she insists on bringing a souvenir back for me like I had never travel this world before.

"Okay, whatever you say! Well, it looks like I'm ready to head off now." She replied as she gave me a light kiss. "Be safe."

I couldn't help but laugh, "I should be telling you the same! Now be careful, you hear me?" This time I kissed her lightly on the lips. I may not have romantic feelings about her, but I do care about her as my dear friend.

Marta looked up into my eyes with a loving stare. "I love you...I'll miss you."

"...I love and will miss you too." I whispered. Another punch to my stomach...

She grabbed her things and I followed her to the front door. She gave me a final kiss goodbye and left for her Rheiard that was on our roof. I slowly shut the door behind her and turned around to gaze upon our empty home.

I was alone.

A wave of depression washed over me and tears began to roll down my face.

"God, I miss him so much. Now that Marta's gone for 5 days, there's no body that can take my mind off of him. My heart aches..."

I paced the house in an attempt to figure out what I could do with myself for 5 days. I couldn't leave town and leave our house unoccupied. Walking around town was a thought, but the sights are all the same. My eyes caught my fishing pole laying against the wall in the corner and the thought came to me instantly. Fishing! I could fish all night and day if I wanted to.

I got together all of the fishing gear essentials and packed myself a lunch and dinner. Thought I live within 2 minutes of walking between my favorite fishing spots, I still find it a hassle to leave back and forth to get things. Once I'm fishing, I'm fishing until I'm ready to go home.

I headed for the door and noticed the thick rope hanging from the door in a decorative manner for the first time. I almost felt disgusted with myself as vivid fantasy of myself hanging from the ceiling by that very rope across my neck...Key word: almost.

Before I got carried away, I headed outside and started for my fishing spot for the day. I noticed as I was walking down to the docks that today was slightly...gray. It was as if the skies was trying to send an foreboding omen. I laughed silently to myself, knowing that I was reading too far into everything. Sure, I have thought of dying, being killed in a dramatic "accident", running away...suicide. I'll even admit that I have planned my own death, but I've never gone through with it in hopes of things changing. I have hoped that my feelings for Richter would subdue and not sting as much. Obviously that hasn't happened yet.

Maybe it's time...

After a minute of walking, I saw the lengthy dock in sight and began to walk down to the very end. Nobody usually fishes here, so I had all the elbow room I wanted! I sat down at the end of the dock and began to unpack some of my lures and my special, homemade bait. Right then and there I fished and there for hours upon hours. My mind kind of shuts off when I fish. It's like I'm not aware of my surroundings besides the ocean water or aware of what's going on inside my head.

After I caught my 10th huge lunker, I decided to grab a bite to eat. As my eyes refocused on other things around me as I slowly chewed my sandwich, I noticed that it was almost dark and that the sun had almost gone down. I looked at the sun that was just barely peeking over the horizon. Almost automatically, I recognized the shade of red that was reflected in the water. My throat tightened. I couldn't help but remember his face, his voice, his eyes, his hair...I remember everything. I even remember his smile, though it was very rare to see it. What I would do to see him one last time...

Losing my appetite, I tossed the half-eaten sandwich into the red sea. My eyes just stared into the ocean, my mind completely silent. The only thing that was still feeling pain was my heart. I could feel my lungs tightening and my eyes burning with hot tears. I have NEVER felt like this...this pain in my heart...the lack of oxygen...the endless tears. Richter, I miss you so, so much...

As the sun slowly set beneath the horizon, I just sat there. Emotionless. Expressionless. Almost lifeless.

"I'm sorry, Richter."

I slowly got up from the dock, gathered my things and headed back home. It almost seemed like I was watching myself walk down the board walk and towards my house. I was numb from it all.

As I made my way back into my vacant home, I put away my fishing gear and decided to take a shower. Before stepping into the shower, I stared at myself in the mirror...trying to find a hint of hope in my own eyes. I leaned in closer, growing helpless as I looked into my own vacant eyes. I finally stepped into the shower and let the hot water and steam surround my aching body. Once again, I fell into a vacant state. I guess you could say that I was overwhelmed with grief, but I knew deep down in my heart that I was about to do what I should have done long ago.

I got out of the shower and dried myself extra dry, as if I was saying goodbye to my physical being. I put on a pair of black pajama pants and decided to sit there on the bed for a few minutes. I cursed at the silent loneliness, I cursed at Goddess Martel and I cursed at the Demon Lord, Ratatosk for keeping Richter locked away for 1000 years! Not wanting to wait anymore, I walked out into the living room and grabbed the decorative rope. Tying it onto one of the wooden planks on the ceiling, I made it into a loop that would...end it all.

I grabbed a chair, almost in a dream like state, and I placed it underneath the hanging rope. I slowly stepped up onto the chair and I placed the rope around my neck. Before I could go any further, I could feel the tears rising up once again.

"Richter...I love you...I can't live without you...I'm sorry."

With my final words, I kicked the chair out from underneath me. I choked on my own sobs and my vision quickly started to fade away. I was slowly drifting off.

"I...I could see him now. His glowing face...he's happy...I'm happy..."

The front door flew open and there was a booming voice, "Emil! No!"

"….Voice...Richter..." Before I could say a word, my vision went black.