A/N: My only warning to you is this: Do not read this, unless you have sense of humor. Like, a really open minded sense of humor.

This is the byproduct of writing at 3 am. Most of the ideas aren't even mine.

Enjoy!


"Olivia, meet me in the park in 10!" Peter said on the phone, ever so desperately."Okay, why?" Olivia asked him.

"There's a camel here, Livia. Come quick! You don't want to miss it, I know you love camels!"

"Camels are my favorite animals, Peter! Why did you not call me sooner?" Olivia questioned furiously."I forgot your love of camels was so deep, my love bucket." He apologized.

"It's okay, just don't let it happen again, sweetie buns."

Olivia arrived at the park only minutes later. She drove really fast that way."Peter, look at their humps!" She shouted, winking.

Peter was smug, "What are you implying, love bucket?"

"I want to have sex with you in the middle of the night, in the dark, with Walter watching."

Peter was too enchanted with the camel to fully grasp what she had just said, "Excuse me?" He was exasperated."I mean, I love you. Sweaty buns.""Sweaty buns?" Peter inquired."Oh sorry, that's your bedroom nickname." She confessed.

Peter thought of something else to say, but was distracted. "Look at those camel toes!""Look at my camel toe!" Olivia yelled then, "… I should stop wearing such tight pants."

"I love camel toes!" He told her, he was horny.

All hot and bothered, Olivia shifted uncomfortable in her seat, even though she was standing."Oh, Peter, can we take the camel home? He can watch us have sex. But I don't think my landlord will approve of this two ton desert animal in my 1100 square foot Boston apartment, so let's keep him at your place."

"Okay!" Peter was compliant. "We can build a stable for it in my yard. It will be romantic."

"What should we name it?" Olivia inquired, excitedly.

"Well, is a boy or a girl?" Peter asked her then."I don't know," Olivia shrugged."Well then, check." He told her."I don't know how to differentiate the gender of camels!" Olivia screamed at him, as if he were an idiot."Yeah well, I couldn't tell your alternate apart from you and ended up impregnating her. So, this should be your job. Just see if it has a penis."

"Fine." Olivia huffed, walking over to the camel, "I can't tell!" She sighed, "Let's just name it Rebecca Black, then." He said."Okay, Rebecca, the genderless camel. Let's go home." Olivia told the camel, even though it didn't speak English. Mandarin, maybe. Peter spoke mandarin, maybe he could speak to Rebecca. "Wait!" Olivia said, then, "This camel won't fit in my Ford Edge with fuel injection, a build in speaker phone and GPS, and a thermometer!""We'll just have to ride him… it, home, then." He assured her, "We cam ride in his humps." Peter winked, Olivia liked what he was implying.

So they rode home on Rebecca's humps, the movement making Olivia feel such a way in her lower region. Like a fire starting in her heart, wait no, that was an Adele song. To be blunt, there was a fire starting in her vagina that only Peter's fire hose could put out. And instead of Rolling in the deep, she wanted to be rolling in bed sheets, or in the hay of Rebecca's stable, or on tope of Walter. It wouldn't be the first then all Olivia craved in that moment was Peter's sweet ass, then reason he had gotten his pet name in the first she craved some chili fries too. Damn she loved her some chili fries."Peter, an we stop at Wendy's?" Olivia asked from the back.

"Sure," He obliged, "Do you think we can take the camel through the drive-thru?"Olivia shrugged, "Let's find out."She then suddenly had visions of Peter in a gold thong… that arrived at Wendy's, and surprisingly enough, they allowed camels through the drive-thru. Or so they thought, turns out someone called animal control. They ran off with their chili, fries, and meatloaf - which peter was shocked that they sold at Wendy's in the first place - and a frosty for Rebecca.

"Ya, ya!" Peter said in a gesture to get her to move faster (Rebecca, not Olivia) and they road down the streets of Boston, safely making it back to Peter's home. Olivia used her telekinesis to knock down a tree and defer animal control.

They then ate their fast food in peace, happily.

"We should probably get to building that stable soon," Peter suggested, "I don't know how long we can keep Rebecca in my living room and I really don't want to be picking camel droppings off of the carpet." He was dead serious. Olivia was almost shaken by his seriousness.

"We can just make Walter do it," She told him dryly, "But we can't just leave her… it-out in the open. The neightbors might get concerned," She was smug, "But I guess you're right. We should get to building… Let's go to Ikea."

"I don't think they sell what we need there, 'Livia.""Really," Olivia was taken aback, "I thought they had a camel section?"

Peter shook his head no.

"Well they should add one," She demanded, "I'm calling the union."

"Don't call the union!" Peter protested, "Ikea may not have a camel section but, Menards does!"

"That's all the way in Chicago!" She informed him.

"I know. We can take Rebecca, I think she can fly."

Olivia entertained the thought for a moment, a flying camel? What could be weirder than a flying camel? Not even Peter's being from another universe was weirder than a flying camel, wait…yes it was. "Okay, let's go, it will be romantic!" Olivia obliged.

Another thought she had was, why didn't Rebecca just fly away from animal control?

Oh well.

Rebecca was not the most steady flyer. Olivia felt those chili fries lurching in her stomach. Or maybe it was just because she was still horny for some Peter…that was probably it.

"Can a help you?" A tall bald man with a purple beard asked them, how did he get hired here?

"Yes, we are looking for some lumber," Peter informed the colorfully bearded man.

"Lumber for what?" The guy asked.

"I'm building a stable for my uh, camel. She…it's parked right outside."

Suddenly, Olivia vomited right onto the man…Peter laughed. It was just nausea after all. The purple bearded man ran off, shrieking in a girlish scream that was uncomfortably too high pitched to be natural. "I guess we're not getting our lumber, then." Olivia stated.

"It's okay," Peter comforted, "I'll figure something out, used to be a conman, after all."

"Really? I didn't think conning Menards employees so you can get lumber to build a home for your pet camel back in Boston, was on your resume."

"You clearly don't know me well enough," Peter returned.

"I'm gonna go find some Rolaides," Olivia informed him.

He nodded, "I'm gonna go con some lumber off of these people, it will be romantic."

Needless to say, he got the wood. And after Olivia's nausea wore off, she realized that she was still hungry for some Peter buns.

"Doesn't your sister live in Chicago?" Peter asked her on the way back, "Do you think we should go visit her?"

Olivia shook her head furiously, "No, I never liked her that much, and the only reason she ever wanted to stay in Boston was because she had the hots for you. And tried to sleep with you before her divorce was even final, which made me extremely jealous, but then she moved back to Chicago with her husband and everything was all rainbows and sunshine again…plot holes."

"K." Peter replied.

She was about to shoot back some witty comment when the Rolaides fell out of her coat pocket, "I hope those don't kill anyone," She said then, they probably would though. Face it, antacids falling at that velocity could be an extreme hazard to society. It's a good thing they were on a camel or else the union may have gone after them. That darn union.

"So let's get to building, it will be romantic!" Peter said excitedly, when they arrived back.

They headed towards the yard, the heat outside was absolutely sweltering. Rebecca reveled in it. Olivia finally shed her wool coat that seemed to be attached to her; even when it was 109 degrees out. Or when she calls Peter to go to a street fair claiming that it was warm outside, but yet an hour later they could see their breath… go figure.

Regardless, Peter found this as a good opportunity to go shirtless. Bad idea on Olivia's part, though. 'Mmm, abs.' She thought to herself. Suddenly, her sweating had nothing to do with the ridiculous weather.

"You okay?" Peter questioned when he noticed her flustered look.

"I'm fine." She replied. Suddenly remembering that she was telekinetic, and her abilities were significantly heightened when she was libidinous. The rest of the barn was assembled with her mind.

Peter was furious then, "I just spent the last two hours putting this thing together; sweating my buns off while you just stood there, griping at my defined muscles, and then you do that! Christ, Livia!" He looked like he was about to cry with fury.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry," Olivia was very apologetic, "Don't cry." She begged.

Peter wiped away his own tears, Olivia wouldn't even do it for him. What kind of lover was she?

"Want to get some dinner?" She asked him, then.

Peter was confused, "We just ate, and then you threw up on the Menards employee… are you pregnant?"

"Probably." She shrugged, Peter scowled, "We can go to Steak N' Shake," She sing songed, "It will be romantic…just as long as we drive so I don't get camel sick again."


A/N: So the question is, is Olivia pregnant? Will she ever get her some Peter? And are they really going to Steak N' Shake? Who knows? Stay tuned to find out.