I was having a heated discussion with my friend about Clare leaving Eli at the hospital, and it inspired me to write this one-shot. This is how it all should've gone down. It starts where Clare calls Eli. So yeah, here it is!
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of it's characters. But, I can dream, right?
I was scared.
So I didn't meet him at our bench when he asked me to come on a two-day trip with him in his hearse.
He was scarred. He had been through so much, and it changed his whole outlook on life. He figured if he loved something, he had to protect it to keep it from being taken from his arms. But life didn't work that way. I knew that because of the death of his last girlfriend, he was scared that he would lose me, too. So he held me too tight, too close, and it suffocated me. But I couldn't push him away, because I knew he was only acting this way because of Julia.
I fell in love with him. I fell in love with his adorable smirk, his witty remarks, his sarcastic answers, his warm green eyes, his dark brown hair, his laugh, his smile, his writing skills, his individuality, and everything else that I can't put into words.
He's my everything.
I knew he would be a big part of my life from the moment he ran over my glasses. But I didn't know it would turn into where we were now. I had no idea that it would turn into this.
I didn't know it would turn into this love that made my heart glow, my stomach have butterflies, and goose bumps raise on my pale skin. And it scared me to death. We fell for each other, too hard and too fast. I had no words for it.
And I couldn't explain it.
He drove a hearse, and I rode a bike. I had no idea how it happened, but our worlds crashed together, and I loved every part of it.
I loved every part of him.
That's why I'm scared, and why I didn't meet him at our bench. When I fell for my first boyfriend, he dumped me for my friend; who was prettier, skinnier, blonder, and better than me. Everyone always leaves me. My parents, Darcy, K.C., Ali, everyone. I was just waiting for Eli to do the same.
I loved him to death, I loved every single aspect of our relationship, but I had to leave him before he leaves me. I couldn't be left in the dust yet again. I dialed his number, and it rang a few times before he picked up.
"You didn't show up." He said sinisterly when he answered the phone, and I heard cars in the background whirring past him.
"I know, I came to the dance." I said softly, telling him where I was as I stood outside the front doors of Degrassi.
"You ripped my heart out!" He screamed angrily into the phone, and I jumped as his voice rose.
"That's not what I meant to do!" I said quietly into the phone, pacing on the front steps of the school.
"You made a promise, remember?" Eli said sadly, breathing deeply into the phone. "That you'd never leave me."
"I know. But… I think it's time we let go of that." I told him gently into the receiver of my cell phone. "We're growing apart." I said, trying to stay calm as I broke up with the love of my life. He laughed bitterly into the phone, and it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up on end as he spoke.
"Growing apart? Any more melodramatic clichés you want to throw my way?" He asked sharply. "Just me, and you, and the hearse, Clare. Just like we've wanted all year." He said, and I rolled my eyes. This isn't about the stupid hearse, this is about us.
"But that's not what I want!, anymore! Okay? I hate the hearse." I said out of anger, and I heard him suck in a breath as he listened. "And spring is a time of rebirth, renewal! Not us." I finished. I heard him breath deeply into the phone.
"If you hate the hearse…" He started. "I'll get rid of him." He said, sounding desperate.
"Eli, you love that car." I said, in awe that he would get rid of his hearse just to have me as his girlfriend. It made my heart flutter, but I quickly shook the thought away, because I knew that it would crumble my resolve. And if I didn't have the resolve, I wouldn't have the courage to continue this. Hell, I wouldn't even have the courage to call him in the first place.
"But I love you." He said in quietly, sounding angrier than before. "And I know you love me." He said, his tone sounding broken. I couldn't take this anymore. If I didn't end it soon, I wouldn't be able to do it. I barely even had any strength to do it at all, because I loved him more than I ever knew I could love anyone.
"We need to break up." I said quickly, taking up my last bit of strength I had to say the words. He stayed silent, but I knew he didn't hang up because I still heard the whooshing of cars as they passed. "Did you hear me? We're not meant to be together!" I yelled into the phone, the tears starting to fall as I said what I had to say to break up with him. Deep down, I knew we should be together. But I couldn't tell myself that.
"…We are." He said, sounding sure of himself. "I just have to get rid of Morty." He said, sounding broken as he said it. I heard a thump as he slammed the phone down, and then I heard the acceleration of the hearse. My heart stopped as I realized what was happening.
"Eli!" I shouted into the phone. I just heard the acceleration speed up, and a tear dripped from my eye as I tried to get him to answer me. "ELI ANSWER ME!" I yelled into the phone as loud as I could. I heard cars honking, and then I heard a loud crash, and it sounded like metal being crushed into oblivion. The phone went dead, and I took my phone away from my ear and looked at it as tears streaked down my face. I quickly dialed 911 and told them that my friend had crashed his hearse, and that he needed an ambulance.
Am I dreaming? I asked myself, and I knew that I wasn't. I ran until my tights ripped on the bottom of my foot, and I felt the gravel of the sidewalk sticking into my foot, but I didn't care. I had to get to my house. When I reached my driveway, I ran up the front steps, took out my key, and fumbled with it as I jiggled it into the lock. The door opened with a soft click, and when I stepped into my living room, my mom was sitting on her laptop.
"MOM! YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL, NOW!" I shouted as I went upstairs. I pulled my dress off, and got dressed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I think that was the fastest I'll ever change clothes in my entire life. I galloped down the stairs, and my mom already had her jacket on and mine in her hand. She handed it to me, and we fast-walked out to the car. She unlocked it and I ran around to get to the passenger side.
"Why do you need to go to the hospital?" She asked with alarm as I pulled on my chuck-taylor sneakers when she pulled out of the driveway. She sped down the street, and I answered her quickly. "Eli crashed his car." I said, with a few unshed tears in my eyes. "You can just drop me off at the emergency room." I told her, and she pulled in front of the hospital and stopped.
I hopped out, slamming my door as I said a quick thank you to my mom, and ran into the glass doors of the emergency room. I ran up the ramp and stopped myself on the reception desk. "Is there an Eli Goldsworthy, here?" I said quickly, tapping my fingers on the table as a lady in scrubs typed quickly on her computer. "Room 413." She said with a sad face, and I heard my shoes clicking on the white tile floor as I ran down the hallway. I spotted Bullfrog outside in the hallway on his phone, and I quickly asked him something.
"Where's Eli? Is he okay?" I asked him, sliding a bit on the slippery floor as I stopped right in front of him. He pointed to the door, and I said a quick thanks to him as I opened the door of the hospital room. As soon as I stepped in, I saw the white walls, and a broken Eli on an inclined hospital bed. He had a cast on his leg, a cut on his right cheek, an IV in his arm, a neck brace, and a white bandage wrapped around his forehead.
This is all my fault. I thought as I hot tear ran down my face.
He looked over to me as he heard the door open, and he quickly turned away and looked down at the sheets covering his body. "Eli." I said, running over to him and taking him in my arms as I shed a few more tears. I felt myself shaking as I hugged him, and his arms laid there limp at his sides as I wrapped my arms around him. "You're okay." I cried, my voice shaky as I spoke and pulled away from him. "What did you do?" I asked him as I stood there, looking at his broken body. That I caused.
"I crashed Morty." He said matter-of-factly. I mouth gaped open as I heard him actually say it. "What? You hated him." He muttered with a sad smile.
"You could've died." I said to him softly, sitting in the chair next to the bed. My legs were shaky and felt like they were going to collapse out from under me any second.
"It would've been worth it, though. I'd do anything for you." He told me, turning his head to look at me as much as he could with his neck brace. "Because I love you." He said, with an unshed tear in his eye. That was the first time he told me he loves me.
"I love you too. But if you love me, then why did you do this?" I asked him, trying to hold back another tear as it tried to fall.
"I want to live, I crashed Morty for you." He said softly, and I realized just how much I needed him. I needed him more than I needed air, more than oxygen, more than anything.
But he needed help.
He needed to realize that what he did wasn't the right thing to do. "Eli, if you love me, this isn't the way to show me." I whispered as I closed my eyes. "The only reason I wanted to break up with you was because I was scared of falling in love with you. I fell head over heals for you Eli, and it scares me to death." I told him, taking his hand that had a bandage wrapped around it. He squeezed it as tight as he could, and a tear fell from his eye as he looked down at our intertwined hands.
"It scares me, too, Clare." He whispered. "But if I don't hold you tight, I'll lose you." He said with determination in his eye.
"See, that's the thing." I said, my voice shaky. "You won't lose me. I'll never leave you, ever again." I told him, and I knew it was true.
"Julia said the same thing, and then she was taken away from me." He said, parting our hands. "I can't lose you, Clare. I love you too much." He said, looking at me as another tear fell down his face.
"You have issues that can't be resolved on their own, and you need to get help from someone." I told him as I looked at the plain walls of the hospital room. I looked over to Eli, and he had a pained look on his face as my words sunk in. He squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, opened them, and spoke softly to me.
"If I get help… will you give me a second chance?" He asked, his smoldering green eyes looking deeply into my ice blue ones. And I knew deep down that I'd give him a second chance. There was no question about it, because I loved him more than I would ever love anyone else. And he loved me the same way.
I nodded. "I love you, Eli." I said softly, playing with a lock of his dark brown hair. He looked hesitant as he held out his pinky. "Pinky promise?" He asked with his signature smirk, and I gave him a small smile as I hooked my pinky with his.
"I pinky promise." I whispered as I stood up and planted a soft and loving kiss on his cheek.
I loved him, and I wasn't going to run away this time. As I sat there with the hearse driving, smirking, adorable love of my life, a thought came to my mind.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
End!
It was kind of a 'spur of the moment' thing... I don't really like it. But what do you think? Leave a revieww!
-Macy 'Emmy' Jean. (:
