Tears of Joy?
What am I doing here, I thought, standing by the door of the ER, watching everyone running about like headless chickens. I don't need this right now. I don't need the stress, the upset and I certainly don't need the vomit. I don't want to be here, although it was hard not to be when I received a call from Carter and then one from Kerry saying 'get a move on.' I managed to climb out of bed (believe me, it wasn't easy) and come to County looking reasonably smart. As I look around, I wonder how the others find it all so easy. The early mornings, the late nights and the tiresome shifts. Mind you, I have been here as long as most of them, but they find it all so easy. I, unfortunately, don't. I can see a trauma coming in, an 'all hands on deck type.' This I don't need. But what do my feelings matter? Huh? I'm just Abby, get your equipment for you, Lockhart. I hate this place.
'Hey Abby, you got a minute?' I turned round to see Susan standing there, and I could tell that this is one of those times when a coffee at Docs is really needed. . We walked over to were the friendly and familiar Docs stood and we stepped inside. The fresh, enlightening smell of coffee met us and we walked over to a free table, right next to the window. We still hadn't exchanged any words, but in a way, there was no need for any. I knew that Susan wanted to talk, and that it was urgent. And Susan knew that I would listen and help, to the best of my abilities. We ordered a coffee each and as they were brought up to us, Susan told me what this coffee was all about.
'Abby, thank you so much for coming here with me,' I interrupted here saying, 'Are you kidding? Did you see that trauma? You're my saviour!' Susan smiled and I noticed how pretty she was when she smiled. No wonder all the men at County fancied her. 'Well, I needed to speak to you. I went out for a drink' (here she looked up at me, but returned quickly to her mug of hot coffee), 'with Luka last night, and when we parted, he kissed me.' I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Susan? And Luka? This just doesn't seem right. 'The thing is, I really liked it. But I don't know if he did.'
'Hey, don't sweat it. I'll talk to him. Indiscreetly, of course,' I added as Susan looked up at me with a 'What the Hell?' look on her face. We finished our coffee with aimless chitchat being the main type of conversation. Just as we were getting up to leave, Carrie appeared at the door, looking more than angry. 'What the Hell do you think you are doing? That one trauma patient was the first of eight. It's all hands on deck' (Hello? Didn't I say that?) 'and that, includes you two. Disappearing as the first trauma patient came in. It's a big dissapoint..' But me and Susan had already left. The only thing that enlargens Carries already huge head, is if you listen to her 'disappointment speech' like two stupid schoolgirls. We went into the ER and it was CHOAS! Again, what am I doing here?
***
I guess you could say I feel a bit better. It was a long few hours in immediate surgery but, finally, it's over. As I walked out of the emergency room, I saw Luka coming out of curtain 4. As I walked over to him, Carter grabbed my arm. 'Hey baby.' He said as he kissed me gently. Oh, how I loved that kiss. This was the first time we'd actually had time to say a proper hello, and I'd been there nearly three hours. 'Hey.' I kissed him back. We walked towards the lounge. Not quite were I was heading, but, I love him (Carter, duh! Don't jump to names!). 'I thought we were gonna loose him when he had that Cardiac Arrest. Hey, could you go and give him Dopamine when he comes round?' He said this with his head in the fridge so it came out a bit muffled. But I understood anyway. 'Sure.' Carter passed me a soda and we sat down on the couch laughing and joking. Just as Carter was halfway through a joke, Luka walked in, flicked the switch on the kettle and sat down at the table, picking up a magazine as he relaxed in his chair. I whispered to Carter that I needed to speak to Luka and he just nodded, planted a soft kiss on my cheek and left. I'm glad we've got to that point in our relationship. To the point were I can say that I need to speak to Luka in private, and he can say that he needs to speak to Susan in private and neither of us jumps to conclusions. I walked over to Luka and sat down beside him. 'Hey Luka. What you been up to?' Jump straight to the point. (Duh, that's my motto!) 'What do you mean?' luka's Croatian accent always made me feel uncomfortable. I felt like he was putting it on, and that I couldn't be serious with him. And seeing as he always speaks with that accent, I always feel these things when speaking to Luka. 'Last night. Where'd you go? Who'd you go with? Was it fun? Did you enjoy the kiss with Susan?' Damn! It just came out. I am soooo the worst best friend in the world. 'What?' Luka looked up, confused. 'Oh damn. I'm such a cow. Look, Susan really enjoyed the kiss last night and she wanted to know how you felt. Don't string her along Luka, she doesn't deserve it.' Luka looked at me, an odd look in his eyes. 'I liked it to Abby, but, I miss you and love you to much to go out with anyone at the moment.' I looked at him, looked him straight in the eyes. 'Luka, I love Carter. I've moved on, and you should to.' I got up to leave. At this moment, Elizabeth walked in, looking like she was about to cry. 'Um, I've got to um, go, um. Bye' Luka never was very good with upset women. Corday walked over to the fridge and took a soda from it. Then she turned around and looked out of the window in the lounge.
'Hi. How are you?' What a stupid question to ask. Idiot Abby.
'Not too ba....' She couldn't even finish the obvious lie. 'No I'm not. I miss him Abby. I miss him so much it hurts. I need him. I turned and looked at her. I was seeing a different side to the pillar of the ER now. I was seeing a person that needed someone else. Needed someone that would always be there. Someone that would give hugs without charge. And all of a sudden, I realised that I could be that person. I owed it to Mark to be there for the one he loved. I stepped forward and hugged Elizabeth tightly. We stood there hugging, and I felt our bond, which had never been very strong, growing. It was getting stronger with every minute. Without the aid of words, our bond was getting stronger and as we continued to stand there, I realized that a new friendship had been born.
What am I doing here, I thought, standing by the door of the ER, watching everyone running about like headless chickens. I don't need this right now. I don't need the stress, the upset and I certainly don't need the vomit. I don't want to be here, although it was hard not to be when I received a call from Carter and then one from Kerry saying 'get a move on.' I managed to climb out of bed (believe me, it wasn't easy) and come to County looking reasonably smart. As I look around, I wonder how the others find it all so easy. The early mornings, the late nights and the tiresome shifts. Mind you, I have been here as long as most of them, but they find it all so easy. I, unfortunately, don't. I can see a trauma coming in, an 'all hands on deck type.' This I don't need. But what do my feelings matter? Huh? I'm just Abby, get your equipment for you, Lockhart. I hate this place.
'Hey Abby, you got a minute?' I turned round to see Susan standing there, and I could tell that this is one of those times when a coffee at Docs is really needed. . We walked over to were the friendly and familiar Docs stood and we stepped inside. The fresh, enlightening smell of coffee met us and we walked over to a free table, right next to the window. We still hadn't exchanged any words, but in a way, there was no need for any. I knew that Susan wanted to talk, and that it was urgent. And Susan knew that I would listen and help, to the best of my abilities. We ordered a coffee each and as they were brought up to us, Susan told me what this coffee was all about.
'Abby, thank you so much for coming here with me,' I interrupted here saying, 'Are you kidding? Did you see that trauma? You're my saviour!' Susan smiled and I noticed how pretty she was when she smiled. No wonder all the men at County fancied her. 'Well, I needed to speak to you. I went out for a drink' (here she looked up at me, but returned quickly to her mug of hot coffee), 'with Luka last night, and when we parted, he kissed me.' I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Susan? And Luka? This just doesn't seem right. 'The thing is, I really liked it. But I don't know if he did.'
'Hey, don't sweat it. I'll talk to him. Indiscreetly, of course,' I added as Susan looked up at me with a 'What the Hell?' look on her face. We finished our coffee with aimless chitchat being the main type of conversation. Just as we were getting up to leave, Carrie appeared at the door, looking more than angry. 'What the Hell do you think you are doing? That one trauma patient was the first of eight. It's all hands on deck' (Hello? Didn't I say that?) 'and that, includes you two. Disappearing as the first trauma patient came in. It's a big dissapoint..' But me and Susan had already left. The only thing that enlargens Carries already huge head, is if you listen to her 'disappointment speech' like two stupid schoolgirls. We went into the ER and it was CHOAS! Again, what am I doing here?
***
I guess you could say I feel a bit better. It was a long few hours in immediate surgery but, finally, it's over. As I walked out of the emergency room, I saw Luka coming out of curtain 4. As I walked over to him, Carter grabbed my arm. 'Hey baby.' He said as he kissed me gently. Oh, how I loved that kiss. This was the first time we'd actually had time to say a proper hello, and I'd been there nearly three hours. 'Hey.' I kissed him back. We walked towards the lounge. Not quite were I was heading, but, I love him (Carter, duh! Don't jump to names!). 'I thought we were gonna loose him when he had that Cardiac Arrest. Hey, could you go and give him Dopamine when he comes round?' He said this with his head in the fridge so it came out a bit muffled. But I understood anyway. 'Sure.' Carter passed me a soda and we sat down on the couch laughing and joking. Just as Carter was halfway through a joke, Luka walked in, flicked the switch on the kettle and sat down at the table, picking up a magazine as he relaxed in his chair. I whispered to Carter that I needed to speak to Luka and he just nodded, planted a soft kiss on my cheek and left. I'm glad we've got to that point in our relationship. To the point were I can say that I need to speak to Luka in private, and he can say that he needs to speak to Susan in private and neither of us jumps to conclusions. I walked over to Luka and sat down beside him. 'Hey Luka. What you been up to?' Jump straight to the point. (Duh, that's my motto!) 'What do you mean?' luka's Croatian accent always made me feel uncomfortable. I felt like he was putting it on, and that I couldn't be serious with him. And seeing as he always speaks with that accent, I always feel these things when speaking to Luka. 'Last night. Where'd you go? Who'd you go with? Was it fun? Did you enjoy the kiss with Susan?' Damn! It just came out. I am soooo the worst best friend in the world. 'What?' Luka looked up, confused. 'Oh damn. I'm such a cow. Look, Susan really enjoyed the kiss last night and she wanted to know how you felt. Don't string her along Luka, she doesn't deserve it.' Luka looked at me, an odd look in his eyes. 'I liked it to Abby, but, I miss you and love you to much to go out with anyone at the moment.' I looked at him, looked him straight in the eyes. 'Luka, I love Carter. I've moved on, and you should to.' I got up to leave. At this moment, Elizabeth walked in, looking like she was about to cry. 'Um, I've got to um, go, um. Bye' Luka never was very good with upset women. Corday walked over to the fridge and took a soda from it. Then she turned around and looked out of the window in the lounge.
'Hi. How are you?' What a stupid question to ask. Idiot Abby.
'Not too ba....' She couldn't even finish the obvious lie. 'No I'm not. I miss him Abby. I miss him so much it hurts. I need him. I turned and looked at her. I was seeing a different side to the pillar of the ER now. I was seeing a person that needed someone else. Needed someone that would always be there. Someone that would give hugs without charge. And all of a sudden, I realised that I could be that person. I owed it to Mark to be there for the one he loved. I stepped forward and hugged Elizabeth tightly. We stood there hugging, and I felt our bond, which had never been very strong, growing. It was getting stronger with every minute. Without the aid of words, our bond was getting stronger and as we continued to stand there, I realized that a new friendship had been born.
