Author's Note- A fic for the ficathon on GW. Prompt was "Celebrating Our Anniversary." Fluff and lots of Angst. Enjoy!
One More Day
An aged Samantha Carter- O'Neill walked slowly down the halls of the hospital. As she walked into the room and saw the older man asleep on the hospital bed, tears sprang to her eyes.
She remembered all those times before when she had been by his side. He'd been hurt more times than she could count and every single time she had been there in case he needed anything.
For years she'd been there as his 2IC and friend, secretly loving the man. Knowing she couldn't tell him, couldn't express those feelings. There were things that were bigger than loving someone. There was a world to protect, a world that needed them to be able to work together. And so she'd remained quiet, her love only showing during rare times.
And though she had moved on she never stopped loving him. Oh she had thought she had moved on, gotten rid of the feelings for him…but she hadn't. And than finally there wasn't anything standing in the way between them.
She never would have thought she could love him more than when she married him. She'd been so wrong. The love that she had felt for him had only increased with every month, every year of being with him. She'd been with him through the hurt and the pain.
Twenty five years as his wife.
Sam walked to the side of the bed. The sight of him asleep never ceased to bring a smile to her face. With his hand tucked under his chin and his body curled up in a ball he looked like a very overgrown toddler.
She curled up into his bed and snuggled up next to him. Her gaze roved over his beloved features and her shaking hand moved up to trace the lines on his face. Time had been good to this man. She still thought he was just as handsome as the day when she had walked into the briefing room and seen her new Commanding Officer. He was still a pain in the ass at times. And he still didn't like talking about his feelings.
Tears once again came to her eyes as she remembered what today was. Their Twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.
Every year for their anniversary Jack would bring her two rose. A pink and a white. The meaning of them as "I love you still and for always." Every year when she woke up she had found them lying on her nightstand. And they were perfect, meaning more to her than a dozen red roses ever would.
Except this morning when she had waken up…no roses greeted her as she opened her eyes. And she had cried, not for the roses themselves, but for the man that wasn't by her side. She had gotten out of bed and had gotten ready to head to the hospital when she had heard a knock on the door. When she had opened it she had found Teal'c on her doorstep…holding a pink and a white rose.
She had looked at him in confusion. Teal'c had solemnly told her that years before O'Neill had told him that if he was somehow unable to bring her the anniversary flowers, that he was to do it in his place. Teal'c had never forgotten that vow that he had made.
Tears slowly slipped down Sam's face as she remembered the diagnosis. Old age, they had said. There wasn't anything they could do but make him comfortable. He only had a few months, if that to live.
This was their last anniversary together.
Her crying turned into sobs and a hand slowly brushed away the tears from her face. Opening her eyes, they collided with brown ones. The ones that she had gotten lost in so many times. The ones that could see into her heart and know how she felt without her ever saying a word. The eyes that even years later caused her heart to skip a beat.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to wake you." She said her voice unsteady.
"'S okay." He said as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer against his chest.
"Do you know what today is?" Sam asked uncertain. His memory had slowly been fading, he was having a hard time remembering days and faces. But he always remembered hers.
"Course I do. It's our anniversary. I'm not that old." He grumbled.
Sam looked up at him sadly. "Jack…"
"Alright alright, yes I am old…can't you let a man dream?"
She laughed at him. At least he still had his sense of humor. "No I can't."
"Women." He said as he kissed her forehead lovingly.
After a few minutes Jack sighed. "Sam…we need to talk."
"About?"
"I'm dying…there's going to come a point when you're going to need to let me go." He told her softly.
Sam's heart constricted at his words. No, she'd never let him go. She couldn't give up…there was something that could help him, there had to be. With all the advances that had come out of the Stargate program, there had to be something that could help him.
But as hard as she tried to convince herself, logically she knew it would only put off the inevitable.
He was dying. And there wasn't a thing she could do about it except sit back and watch the man she loved slowly slip away from her. She closed her eyes against the pain.
She'd been by his side so long she wasn't sure she knew how to go on without him. He'd been a constant in her life. While the world had sometimes fallen around her, he was always there. Even when she had been his 2IC, she had known that if she needed him for anything that he would be there. And now God to even contemplate not having him in her life was unfathomable.
She'd known that one day it would come to this. But somehow she had never thought it would be this soon. Death was always far off in the distance. They didn't face death together anymore on a day to day basis, so she never really thought about it. And now here it was staring her right in the face.
"Hey." Jack said softly. "I'm not dead yet."
Sam playfully swatted him on the arm.
"Any regrets?" She whispered to him.
"Not a one." He said as he kissed her lips.
Her mind flashed to the last time they had talked about regrets. On a frozen world far from home, her arms tightly around him to ward off the bitter cold. He had said then that he would regret dying. How times had changed since then.
"You?"
"Yes…I have lots of regrets." She said truthfully.
She regretted not being with him longer. Not going fishing earlier. Not retiring from the Air Force sooner. Regretted not being able to have his children. Regretted not telling him that she loved him more, thinking that he had always known.
"Do you regret spending your life with me?" He said uncertainly.
Twenty five years as his wife and those old doubts still crept into that head of his.
"Never." She said passionately.
That was the one thing she could never regret in her whole entire life. Being with this man and loving him was something she would trade a million lifetimes for. Yes they'd fought like everyone else, their marriage had taken a lot of hard work. But even after their biggest fights when she fell asleep in his arms, she knew that he loved her as much as she loved him.
If she could go back and redo her life, in the end she would always end up loving this man.
"That's all that matters." He told her.
A few more minutes past and Sam moved her head to lay it against his chest, listening to his steady heart beating.
"I don't want to let you go." She said softly.
"I know. I don't want to go either…but this old horse is pretty worn out."
She closed her eyes against his words, hoping that if she didn't listen to him that they wouldn't be true.
But she knew they were. He had lived a long, full life. He was tired, had been through so much.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. Swallowing she said "Alright Jack…don't fight it. When it comes…I'll be right here."
Jack smiled softly at her. " I'll always be right here Sam. Always." He said as he thumped his chest right above his heart.
Knowing she wouldn't be able to speak past the emotions in her throat, she simply nodded her head.
He'd never broken that promise that he had made when her Father had been dying, not once. If she needed him he had always been there. A shoulder for her to lay her weary head against. An ear for her to talk to. And a pair of loving arms to take away all of the pain.
"I've still got some time left in me yet. I still need to see my Cubs win the world series." He told her with a grin. "Love me?"
She chuckled. "Always."
"Me too. Now how about you go to sleep." He said as his arms once again made there way around her, pulling her snug against his chest.
Her eyes shut. She'd always love these times being in his arms. Being cherished like this. She'd never tired of it.
She didn't know how much time they might have left but she knew she'd never take every minute, every hour, every day with this man, for granted. Because she never knew how much longer she'd have with him.
She didn't want to miss a second of it.
Someday their weary bodies would force them to separate. But there was one thing that death could never take away. The love of two people as strong as this would survive for all time. Death had no victory over love.
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Author's Note- This is what happens when I listen to the song "Walking her home" by Mark Schultz while looking at ficathon prompts. (If you haven't listened to that song, youtube it. Beautiful song and it will make you cry.) Thanks for reading and if you liked it let me know!
