When You Feel

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Summary: This is near the end of the game of love. The angel was winning and the queen was losing. The devil was the prize.

Author's Note: I wrote this in all of…forty-five minutes. So, yes, it might suck. But I haven't put anything out in a while. Plus everyone hates me now, so it doesn't really matter. xD

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, or the suckfest and horrible dialogue that was Season 2 never would have happened. Here's looking at you, Stephanie Savage!

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Prologue

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I watched his wildest dreams come true
And not one of them involving you
Just watch my wildest dreams come true
Not one of them involving (you).

"Misery Business" – Paramore

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It rained that day. Rain slapped against the concrete, unforgiving and merciless.

The winds of change had come upon them all; the world was turned on its side and the age old adage, "What goes up...must come down," came into play as always. The Upper East Side was destroyed, and building it back up again would be no easy task.

The fallen angel had come to be on top of the world once again. The queen was shaken and her crown dropped and shattered. And the devil? He was rolling the dice, playing the game.

Yes, the game of love. It was simple to play, but no one wanted to lose.

So life went on and game was still played. The angel ventured out, her umbrella protecting her from all that was evil. She was clearly winning, avoiding everything that would make her fall once again. Everything that would make her lose.

The former queen stood in front of her, without an umbrella. She was the winner who had easily fallen. Now she was in the red, losing the game she had once controlled.

"What are you doing here?" The angel spoke first, her voice commanding for her inferior to speak.

"You can't take him." The broken queen was nearly begging. "I need him."

The angel was good and she felt for the weak. So she stood there feeling sympathetic for the girl who had once controlled her every move.

"I made you," The girl was truthful. Indeed, she had brought the angel to the top, and had administered her fall. "You have taken everything from me. You can have it all. But please, don't take him. He's the only good thing…"

The devil made them both feel. Gasp at a sensitive touch, learn to be pawns in the game. He was the king who was looking for his queen. So the angel and the former queen battled. The angel wanted to be queen and the fallen ruler wanted to feel mighty once again.

Yes, the devil was good. He was above all, and he pleasured those who were lucky enough to play the game. The devil was coveted.

So the angel was ready to be convinced. For the other girl was the first to ever love the devil, and was the only one who would always love him. Truthfully, the girl, the loser, she deserved him. But the angel wanted to be worthy of his affection as she was. The angel wanted to feel like the former queen once did.

"Do you love him?" The fallen queen questioned the angel. It was a valid question, but more of a challenge. She was demanding something of her superior, something she knew would be difficult to answer.

The angel doesn't answer. She only believes that the game is complicated, and she wants to love. She wants to be loved by the devil. She wants to feel.

The fallen girl has been soaked by the rain, touched by the evil. She is slowly falling into the black, so she begs once more. "I love him. I can't be without him. I can't be alone."

The one who lost the game always ended up alone. The angel, who was once meant to be alone, now knew the sensitive touch of the devil. No, the angel and devil weren't meant to be together. It was not written that way. But the angel was anxious to rewrite the story at the queen's expense.

"I can't be alone either," The angel speaks once more. "I want to be with him." So she defies everything that is right in the world; the truth was that the queen was meant to be with the devil, but the angel stood between them and refused to let them be. The angel desperately wanted to defy logic; she wanted the devil and she would push the queen into the black to have him.

"I had him, and I lost him," The girl's voice cracked under the pressure. "You have no idea what that feels like."

Indeed, the queen had been with the devil first, and when they were separated, the queen was left more broken than the devil. The angel immediately went to fix the devil, make him love her as he had loved the queen. Although the angel was not nearly as loved, she enjoyed the time she spent with him, for having him was better than losing him.

"I don't want to know," The angel was firm on this. "I can't let him go. I'm sorry."

The angel was the first of the two girls to kiss his lips and was determined to be the last. The angel was not a loser. Not anymore.

And so the girl in the pouring rain stood one last time and said her last words.

"He'll never want you…not like he wanted me."

And as her eyes rolled into the back of her head, she fell into the black and slapped against the concrete; the world was turned on its side.

The angel had won the war.

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tbc