Far From Normal

Disclaimer: Well, ladies and gentlemen. I totally redid this story—okay, I didn't exactly re-due it, just added a few things here and there. Also corrected some of the grammar errors I located after rereading it several different times. (And a reminder that they guys do look like they did back in 1975 so as not to confuse people. LOL)

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As Starsky and Hutch were driving about 60 miles away from one of the many writers conventions that were going on in town, when a red haired woman, somewhere in her late 40's, suddenly popped and I literally mean popped into the back seat.

Starsky stomped on the breaks and the Torino slid to a rapid halt. "How the hell did you get in here!?" he snapped at the lady, exchanging a look with Hutch who just shrugged back.

"Hot damn, it worked!!! Magick will do it every time!" the red haired woman declared as she hopped up into the front with the boys.

"All right lady," Hutch said as he got out of the car. "I don't know how you got in here, but you need to leave right now."

"Not on your life sonny," the woman said smirking at him and checking him out at the same time.

I was standing not too far away, watching all of this go on with a rather troubled look on my face. This isn't good.

She moved over closer to Starsky, "This is just so great!!! I really have to thank Tabby for giving me this idea," she said reaching over to caress her hand along the dashboard.

"I did no such thing!!" I hollered at her from a distance. Amazingly no one heard me. I found that to be rather typical in my rather strange life.

"Do you MIND?!" Starsky growled as he grabbed her hand and pushed it way from the dash.

"Don't give me your attitude buddy, I'll give you mine! But I've got an even better idea," replied the lady as she tightly closed her eyes in concentration.

Somehow, Starsky ended up on the curb next to Hutch. Mom just laughed as she sped off in the Torino. Really, the woman seriously needed to get out more often or maybe see a damn psychiatrist!

Starsky stood there in shock for about ten seconds before pelting down the road after his beloved car. "Hey! Come back here!"

"Not on your life Starsky!!" Mom yelled back to him. Honestly, if this was an anime I would've been doing a sweat drop by now.

"How in the hell does she know my name? Better yet, how the hell are we going to get my car back?!" he looked down the street as he heard the motor of his car rev up and the tires screeched loudly around a corner.

I stood several yard behind them, staring after my mother in shock and amazement. Actually, to be more accurate, I looked like a fucking fish with the way my jaw had dropped to the ground.

"Now, that's interesting," I whispered quietly. Never occurred to me that I was going to be in some shit-ass trouble. Maybe if I'd've known that I wouldn't've been standing there lookin' like a fish out of water.

"We need to find this person she just mentioned. I'm guessing that whoever this 'Tabby' person is is responsible for this mess."

Oh, right, thanks a lot.

"How'd ya figure that Hutch?"

"Just a hunch."

"More like speculation!" I shouted before quickly covering my mouth with both hands as I saw both men turn around. "Oh shit," I whispered before turning and high tailing my ass down the road with both of them chasing after me. I was a fucking idiot for shouting out loud like that—and this was clear proof of that.

"Hey! Hold it right there!" they yelled.

Are they fucking nuts?! I mentally shouted. I'm not gonna take the heat for something my mother did!!!!

I turned the corner into an alley. Really, I wasn't having the best of luck right now as I looked over my shoulder. I almost fell over as I saw that they were both still behind me, getting closer every second.

"Damn," I muttered. "This is not good."

I got a few more feet in before Starsky grabbed me tightly around the waist. Holy shit this guy had a grip!

"Dammit!" I yelled, struggling to get out of his grip. "Let me go!!!"

"Not a chance kid," he said panting.

Kid?! I wasn't any freaking kid! I was twenty-two years old for Gods sake! Ooh, I made a mental note of getting him back for that little 'kid' crack. Okay, maybe it hadn't been a wisecrack, but I still could be pissed off about it.

Hutch was now standing in front of me; he too was panting. "You've got a lot of explaining to do."

Oh, shit. "I haven't a clue of what you're talking about," I said as I finally stopped struggling. What was the point now anyway? Starsky had me in an iron grip, plus they knew who I was. That was just the highlight of my day.

"I think you do," Starsky said, loosing his grip around my waist a little.

I grinned. Oh, right. Like I'm really going to just blow the whistle here. I don't think so!

"Now, how did that woman get into my car?"

I put on a fake look on innocence. "How should I know? I don't have anything to do with this. Besides, shouldn't you be asking the one who stole your car?" I did have a point here and hopefully I wouldn't get stuck into a situation where I'd have to 'explain' thing to 'em.

They just looked at me with clearly ticked off expressions. Apparently they didn't believe a word that just came out of mouth. Great. Now what was I supposed to do? Maybe I should confess . . . nice, I'm giving in waaaayyy too easily here.

"Okay, okay," I sighed frustrated. "I do know a little about what happened here."

Hutch looked me hard in the eyes. "And that is?"

I bit my lip. "My mom has this thing for fast cars and apparently she wanted to drive yours . . . so she just . . . um, wished for it, you might say," I finished lamely. There was no way in hell I could ever admit that my mom and I were witches and that we could just do about anything that we wanted. Both boys would think me a loony and I really didn't need any help in that department.

Starsky looked at me dubiously. "Wished for it?"

Why didn't I just stay in bed this morning? I thought with an airy sigh. He's got really beautiful eyes . . . WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?!

I looked away from him quickly, "I'm not saying anything else about this, so let me go!"

"No," he said firmly.

"Terrific," I muttered. "Well, what do you want me to do? It's not like I can . . ." I trailed off as an idea flittered into my mind. Some part of me was vaguely aware that both men were looking at me with perplexed expressions.

"Hey! HEY!" Hutch snapped his fingers in my face.

"Whoa! Huh? Oh sorry, I was just thinking." If Mom were here she'd just say something along the lines of 'another first'.

Starsky and Hutch shared a very long, speaking look before their gazes turned back to me with interest in their eyes. Some part of me was a little apprehensive by that look and bells where sounding off in my head.

"Thinking about what?" Starsky asked looking me directly in the eyes. Gods, I could really swim in his.

I bit my bottom lip hard, for some reason I had this uncontrollable urge to moan. Which had me thinking, great!!!! Now my hormones are acting up! Why the hell couldn't I be attracted to someone else right now? Okay Tabby, focus on the situation at hand, get these guys their car back and stop daydreaming about tall, dark blue eyes over here.

"I was trying to come up with a way to get the Torino back in one piece. My mother just so happens to be one helluva dangerous driver . . . lead foot and all," I said before muttering quietly. "Runs in the family."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Yep. Um," I flushed. "Starsky, you can let me go now," I looked at him and indicated to his arm around my waist with my left hand. "I'm not gonna run away now. Promise."

I sighed as he let me go, but for some stupid ass reason I was mentally kicking myself for asking him to. I was rather comfortable . . . Okay! This has got to stop or else I'm gonna end up jumping the guy! Pretty sure I'll get into trouble for that too. I could hear this darker voice say, but it'd be well worth it. Great, my little twisted side just had to wake up.

Damn hormones, I thought darkly as I started to walk out of the alley, with the detectives not far behind having some kind of conversation. I wasn't really listening to them as I was busy listening for any signs of the stolen Torino.

I just hope she doesn't hit anyone, I thought looking up to the sky as if praying, that's the last thing that I need to deal with right now.

"Hey Tabby," shouted a voice I'd known my whole life.

I turned and smiled at my friend. "What's up Sammie?"

Sam ran up to me, "Nothing much. But I did see your mother in a strange looking car a few moments ago. At least, I think it was your mom. The car was going so fast I didn't really see who was driving."

This tidbit of information got the boys attention.

"Uh, well," I started. "That was my mom. She stole this guy's car," I added pointing back at Starsky.

Sammie gave me a look of total disbelief. "I can't believe your mother would steal someone's car Tab."

I snorted, "Well believe it and now I've got to figure out some way to get back. It's not like I can just throw my hands at it and make it . . ." I trailed off again as another idea came.

Sam smirked at me. "I get the feeling you have an idea. Need some help?"

I shrugged. "Sure. What the hell? I need all the help I can get to stop this crazy woman. What a bitch."

"Whoa," Hutch butted in, "We don't even know this girl and you're asking her for help?"

I slapped my forehead. "Shit, that's right. Sorry about that. Starsky, Hutch, meet one of my dearest friends on this planet . . . Sam."

She laughed. "Nice to meet you guys." Than she looked at me. "You still curse like a sailor you know."

"I greatly resent that Sam," I said giving her mock glare. "Wait a minute? Aren't you and Rickie supposed to be hanging out today?" I just did a total 180 on the conversational topic, but I'm used to changing topics in mid-sentence. Everyone in my family does it and I have to say it gets down right irritating.

"Yeah," she sighed, "But she had to go to work. And I got the feeling that you needed some help."

That was just so like Sam. She always seemed to know when I was in trouble. We were tight, like sisters, and shared an incredible bond so maybe that's how she figured it out.

We all walked back to the spot where mom had stolen Starsky's beloved car.

I frowned as I tried to figure out how to pull off stopping the car without mom finding out. This was going to be a helluva lot harder than I originally thought.

"So what's this plan that you have," the boys asked.

I tossed a look back at them and smiled, "That's something neither one of you have to worry about. I just hope I don't accidentally blow up the car," I added sarcastically.

They both got these fearful and nervous looks in their eyes that had me smirking in mild amusement. I just loved fucking with someone's brain. So much fun.

Sam and I turned suddenly to see mom do a 180 in the Torino. The tires screeched as she came to a halt in front of us before driving down the other way around the block.

"WHOA!!! Now that was cool!!"

"That isn't cool!!!" Starsky hollered, "Listen to that engine. I'm gonna have to give it a tune up!"

I rolled my eyes. "That's not my fault, now is it?"

"Of course it is! You could have done something to stop her!!" he snapped at me.

"Listen here buddy," I snapped back. "Don't give me your attitude 'cause I'll sure as hell give you mine. I've got no problems with that you know!"

We both just stood there glaring at one another.

Sammie and Hutch were just looking back and forth between us. Neither one of them knew if they should cut in or not. Like it would do them any damn good if they did anyway. I wasn't about to let someone talk down to me, no matter how attractive he was. Again with the damn hormones!! Ugh!!!!

"Um . . . Tabby," Sammie nervously said. "Don't you think we should get back to getting his car back from your mom?"

I blinked. "Oh, you're right. I guess I got a little side-tracked by 'blue-eyes' over here," I said gesturing to Starsky.

I sat down on the sidewalk and glared at the skid marks in the road. "You know, this would be a whole lot easier if I had pen and paper in my hands . . . I could at least write down what to do."

Sammie smirked, setting her bag down on the ground next to me—I hadn't even noticed she had it with her—and pulled out a pen and some paper. "here you go."

I gave my dear friend a mock glare as I took the items she handed me.

Hutch leaned over my shoulder, "How in the hell is this supposed to help us?"

I laughed. "For your information, Hutch dear, this is not your average paper and pen. And I for one am not the average girl." Almost a death bed confession that I'm a witch. How fucking stupid can I get in one day?

Both gentlemen looked at me confused.

"Being a writer is a wonderful thing boys," I stated with a mischievous gleam in my eyes, causing both men to squirm a little nervously. Obviously they hadn't realized that I was writer. Guess that stems from the fact I wasn't at the convention they'd been driving away from when my mother had stolen the Torino.

Not long after I jotted a few things down, the Torino came to a skidding halt in front of the four of us. My mother jumped out of the car with a huge smile plastered on her face, but I could easily see that she was not at all thrilled that I had spoiled her fun.

I smiled sheepishly at her, "Sorry about that mom. But it wasn't a very nice thing to do you know? Stealing the car like that."

"Yeah, like you wouldn't dream about doing something like that," she snipped while smirking at me.

"I never said that, but there are other ways of letting someone know that you like something they have."

"I know, but I though that this would be more fun."

Really? Damn, she is a nut, isn't she. What the hell am I thinking? I probably would've done the same thing, but for different reasons . . . and here we go with the hormones. Seems they've been acting up quite a bit throughout this whole episode.

That was all mom said as she walked back home.

"Tabby, I know I've said this before," I looked over at Sammie. "But your mother is psycho. And so are you."

I grinned. "You just now figured this out Sammie?"

She shook her head. "No, I've known about this for a long time. But I felt like saying it anyway."

I scoffed. "Thanks a lot. That's just what I needed to hear." I seem to be using quite a bit of sarcasm too. Lovely.

Sammie laughed as she too headed for home.

I turned to the detectives. "Well, you've got your car back," I said smiling warmly at the two of them. "So are you two gonna still hold me responsible for this?"

"No."

I shrugged. "Like it would've bothered me if you guys did. Well, I really should be going. Have to make sure that my dear, psychotic, mother doesn't pull a stunt like this again."

And I know she will just to see her favorite guys.

"Yeah," Hutch said.

I smiled and hugged him. I walked over to Starsky and did the same thing, only difference was when we broke apart there was a small blush creeping onto my face and I had to quickly turn so that he wouldn't see it. That would be freaking embarrassing.

"See ya boys later," I said walking down the street.

"Hey," Starsky called, "We could give you a lift if you want?"

Totally unexpected.

I grinned evilly at him. "I thought you'd never ask . . ."

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Well, that's that. What'd y'all think of the small additions I made? I know there's not many, but hey what the hell. I'm still thinking of doing another story for this. Ya know, make it into a serious of sorts. I'm not quite sure though and I'd love it if someone would let me know if I should. Oh, and do drop me a little review if you would. I know I shouldn't be asking for them, but it helps in the writing and creativity department. Well g2g, see ya later! -waves and exits-