Disclaimer: Do not own. I don't even dare to think about what would happen if I did.

Warning: Fairy tale AU (sort of), crack, MPreg, Zack being Zack and heaps of sugary pink fluff.

A/N: My sincere apologies to Charles Perrault, whose story I've borrowed for this fic. Everything is blamed on misumisu84 and white_jenna at LJ. I'm not responsible for any brain damage this might cause.


"... Geppetto, a cobbler, took his lump of wood home, thinking about the name he would give his puppet..."

"Daddyyy, that's booooooring!" Adrien sing-songed. "I wanna hear about Uncle Seph killing the dragons!" the bright eyed little boy with black spikes to match his own demanded all but bouncing, and Zack lowered the book with a sigh. God bless Angeal and his high ideals about proper bedtime stories, but it was quite evident that their son took after Zack in more ways than just his appearance.

"You've already heard that a hundred times, pumpkin," he tried half-heartedly, knowing all too well the attempt was futile.

"Please, please, please, please!"

Oh, yes. Like trying to put out Ifrit's flames with a glass of water.

"Okay, okay," he raised his palms in surrender, smiling fondly at the beaming expression on that cute little face.

"But Daddy, you promised a princess story!" Sofia climbed into his lap, and not for the first time Zack had to conclude that if he was just half this good at giving others the pleading puppy look, then no wonder Angeal found it irresistible. Not to mention the double effect when Angela joined her much bolder twin sister in an eyelash batting competition.

Yes, Zack could kind of relate to the lucky bastards whom these little angels will eventually marry.

"Well, a promise is a promise, right?" he pulled Angela too into his lap, discarding the book bound in beautiful cream colored leather, hoping to Minerva that Genesis will never find out about how useless this present proved to be so far. Not like he could complain otherwise, the two First Classes proved to be excellent godparents, and weren't it for Angeal keeping a keen eye on the pair, they would've spoilt the kids rotten, especially Sephiroth.

Considering the man's childhood and how piss drunk the dreadful silver general had been the night his first child had been born, Zack couldn't say he was particularly surprised.

He waited for the two girls to get comfortable, two pairs of smoky steel blue eyes, the exact copies of Angeal's in color looking up at him expectantly.

"So, once upon a time... Adrian, take the truck out of your mouth, please."

"Okay..."

Seeing the violet eyes blinking remorsefully, he couldn't help but smile and ruffle those unruly spikes.

"So, once upon a time, there was a king and a queen, who lived in a beautiful castle, but were deeply unhappy, because they didn't have children. Then one day, as the queen was sitting in her chamber, the fairy godmother appeared in front of her and handed her a tiny baby."

"Did the fairy godmother have a name?" Angela cut in timidly.

"Oh, she had a name all right. She was called Gillian. But angel, if you keep interrupting me, you'll have to go to bed without hearing the ending."

"I'll be good."

"That's my girl," he kissed the top of that black head before he went on. "So, where was I? Yes, the baby. She handed the queen the small, red haired child and told her she could keep it if she wanted to. The queen was happy to have a son... err, daughter, I mean, daughter.

There was a very fine feast organised to celebrate the new heir of the kingdom, and the king and the queen invited all the other fairies, that every one of them might give her a gift, as was the custom of fairies in those days.

After the ceremonies were over, all the fairies approached the cradle and began to give their gifts to the princess. The youngest gave her for gift that she should be the most beautiful person in the world; the next, that she should have the wit of an angel; the third, that she should have a wonderful grace in everything she did; the fourth, that she should dance perfectly well; the fifth, that she should sing like a nightingale; and the sixth, that she should play all kinds of music to the utmost perfection.

As they were doing so, the door to the room opened with a sound of thunder, and another fairy entered, and old, ugly and malicious creature all living things feared and avoided if they only could, so suffocating his presence was. His sickly thin body shaking with spite for not being invited, the fairy walked up to the cradle and looked down on the princess, the reflection of light on his glasses hiding his eyes. Then with a cackle, he said that the child's blood was cursed, and there will come a time when just a small injury will cause her to die a death most horrible. This terrible gift made the whole company tremble, and everybody fell a crying.

But then the fairy godmother Gillian stepped forward. She was the fairest of the fairies and also the wisest, and she had yet to give her own gift to the princess. So she touched her magic wand to the cradle and spoke: "Assure yourselves, oh King and Queen, that your daughter shall not die of this disaster. It is true, I have no power to undo entirely what my elder has done. The princess shall not die from this evil curse, but fall asleep for a hundred years until a king's son shall come and awaken her with a kiss of true love."

About twenty years after, the fateful day finally came. The king and queen being gone, the princess was playing in the castle when she in her carelessness broke a precious heirloom piece and pierced her hand with one of the sharp pieces. All blood leaving her face she fell down in a swoon and nothing would bring her to herself. Her eyes were shut, but she was heard to breathe softly, which satisfied those about her that she was not dead. It was decided that they should not disturb her, but let her sleep quietly till her hour of awakening came.

At that time, the fairy godmother was in a place far far away, but hearing what came to pass she arrived on wings of magic, and as she had very great foresight, she thought when the princess should awake she might not know what to do with herself, being all alone in this old palace. So this was what she did: she touched with her wand everything in the palace - governesses, maids of honor, ladies of the bedchamber, gentlemen, officers, stewards, cooks, undercooks, scullions, guards, with their beefeaters, pages, footmen; she likewise touched all the horses which were in the stables, pads as well as others and the great dogs in the outward court. Immediately upon her touching them they all fell asleep, that they might not awake before their mistress and that they might be ready to wait upon her when she wanted them.

Then she also grew all round about the park such a vast number of trees, great and small, bushes and brambles, twining one within another, that neither man nor beast could pass through; so that the princess, while she continued sleeping, might have nothing to fear from any curious people.

For a hundred years was the princess was sleeping, and in that time people all but forgot about the castle and the sleeping beauty within it's walls. Then one day, a prince entered the magical woods, hunting."

"A beautiful young prince?" Sofia tugged on his sleeve and Zack laughed.

"Of course, little one. The prince was so beautiful with his fine features, long flowing hair and piercing green eyes that his beauty was admired by all far and chasing a deer most regal, the prince found the old, iron gate of the castle's park. All the great trees, the bushes, and brambles gave way of themselves to let him pass through; closing again as soon as he did so.

He came into a spacious outward court, where everything he saw might have frozen the most fearless person with horror. There reigned all over a most frightful silence; the image of death everywhere showed itself, and there was nothing to be seen but stretched-out bodies of men and animals, all seeming to be dead. On closer inspection, however, it was plain to see by the ruby faces that they were only asleep, and the prince continued his way.

He crossed a court paved with marble, went up the stairs and came into the guard chamber, where guards were standing in their ranks, with their muskets upon their shoulders; then several rooms full of gentlemen and ladies, all asleep, some standing, others sitting. At last he came into a chamber filled with the splendorous light of mako crystals, where he saw the finest sight that was ever beheld - a princess, whose bright and, in a manner, resplendent beauty, had somewhat in it divine. He approached with trembling and admiration, and for a moment just stood there before he finally leaned in and pressed his lips to those of the sleeping beauty.

And now, as the enchantment was at an end, the princess awakened, and looked at him with eyes more tender than the first view might seem to admit of, for she knew well that the only kiss that could break the spell was one of true love. She put her hand into that of the prince who gently took it and led her outside, seeing with great joy that all the other residents of the castle were awekened too, the governesses and maids of honor, the ladies of the bedchamber, the gentlemen, the officers and stewards, the cooks, undercooks, scullions, guards, with their beefeaters, the pages and the footmen."

"And the pretty ponies and the dogs!" Angela clapped bouncing, making even her siblings giggle.

"And the prince and the princess swore their undying love to each other and lived happily ever after."

"Zachary Eilert Fair," came the stern, deep voice from the door, and Zack immediately humped his shoulders, glancing at the door guiltily where Angeal stood frowning in a white and red checked apron wiping his hands with a clean cloth. "And here I thought that last time was a lesson enough for you," the older man sighed, shaking his head.

"Hey, Angeal, how was I supposed to know that they wouldn't be happy about me telling stories of their adventures to the kids?" Zack's smile was a bit forced as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "It's not like I even used their names or anything..."

"You are hopeless," Angeal rolled his eyes. "Seph just called, they'll drop by for dinner after all. They'll be here in half an hour. Good luck with keeping the kids silent about your newest fairy tale. If Genesis happens to set something... or someone on fire, I'll be in the kitchen," he gave Zack a pointed look, then turned around and left in the midst of the three children wreaking havoc in the room at the news.

"Sure darling, you can play knights and dragons with Uncle Seph, uhh, I mean Uncle Sephiroth and... Angeal, wait! They are... WHAT???"