"Do you think the Commander is going to bother keeping her word this time?" Raven asked, from where she sat on top of Abby's desk, as she stared right at Clarke.
"She has no reason not to," Clarke reassured, trying to keep her annoyance in check as everyone other than Kane exchanged dubious looks.
She was aware that they didn't know Lexa the way that she did, that they still thought of her as just the ruthless commander that had abandoned them at Mount Weather. The really grating thing about that was that they weren't wrong. Lexa was that person, she'd make that choice again, Clarke couldn't deny it, no matter how much it still stung to acknowledge.
And there was the crucial point that Lexa hadn't actually promised anything. All she'd done was send a messenger to tell them that she'd be arriving to discuss negotiations. Clarke understood where they were coming from, it just didn't make it any easier to deal with, knowing that Lexa was more than that.
Knowing that Lexa had done everything she could for them, being there when Lexa had avenged the Ice Nation attack, witnessing Lexa decide against retaliation for what Pike had instigated, knowing how much Lexa wanted things to be different, how hard she worked to ensure peace.
Clarke couldn't imagine that Lexa would come all the way here now, after they'd gotten everything sorted out, after they'd held yet another election making Kane the chancellor and arrested Pike, to tell them that peace wouldn't be possible.
"You mean other than my brother helping Pike and his minions force three hundred warriors she sent to protect us to leave, at gunpoint, and then attacking an innocent village so that he can plant some corn?" Octavia asked bitterly from where she was standing between Lincoln and the aforementioned brother.
Bellamy didn't meet her eyes, Clarke saw him instead looking around the med-bay that had somehow become the group's unofficial meeting place every time something noteworthy happened, likely because that's where one could usually find herself and her mom.
Clarke hadn't been thrilled to work with her mother, despite how much progress they'd made, how much Clarke had grown to forgive her and to understand the choices her mother had made. They just still weren't exactly used to spending every minute of the day together. There wasn't really anything else Clarke could help with though, it turns out that there wasn't much use for an ambassador when there was a barricade up, and the other leader won't meet with them.
Despite the nature of their personal relationship, and the fact that they hadn't seen each other for a month. Not that Clarke was bitter about it.
"I was just trying to protect our people, to keep them safe, and to make sure that we wouldn't starve to death," Bellamy explained, jaw tight.
Clarke caught Lincoln's eyes, and wasn't surprised to note that he seemed to feel similarly to herself about Bellamy's excuse. She wasn't going to bother getting into an argument about it now though, there were more important things going on, and Lincoln didn't seem interested in having anything to do with Bellamy either.
Octavia scoffed, "Why is he here? If we're trying to make peace, again, then isn't he one of the last of people we want involved?"
"Because I want to help make things right. I screwed up, I'm so sorry, O."
Clarke was slightly mollified that at least he meant it, and at least the situation wasn't unsalvageable. Bellamy and Pike had threatened the three hundred Trikru, but no one had been hurt, and Octavia had gotten to the village before them. No deaths on either side meant that things weren't a complete lost cause at least.
"Regardless, Octavia does have a point," Abby interjected brusquely, looking lost in thought.
Kane encouragingly gestured for her to continue.
"We arrested Pike and had yet another election weeks ago. Octavia met with Indra and told her of these developments, and yet we've heard nothing from the Commander until now. I can't help but wonder why that is, if not because she's planning on taking advantage of the unrest we're dealing with here and get even for the threats that Pike's people have posed," Abby stated, crossing her arms and shaking her head.
"She was giving us time," Clarke replied instantly, Kane nodding in agreement.
"Time to what?" Raven questioned. Clarke wasn't certain whether she was asking more because of her general low opinion of Lexa, or because she co-captained the Abby Griffin cheer squad with Jackson.
"Get our people in order. You two are looking at it like doctors and mechanics, you see a problem, a broken leg or a broken radio, and you go to fix it. Lexa isn't either one of those, that's not how she works, not how she can work in her position," Clarke explained.
"And how does she work then?" Abby questioned dryly, raising an eyebrow.
"She's a leader, a…politician. She knows the people, she knows policies, traditions, and conflict resolution. How to come to an agreement, how to stay in power, and how to use that power to make the changes she wants in the future. How do you think things would have gone if Lexa had shown up here the day after Pike was arrested? Do you really think our people would have reacted well to that?
"Or that Lexa's people would have been okay with it if she'd dropped the barricade, and let us talk things over in Polis? I've been around them, and I assure you that she's probably being accused of 'going soft' and trying to stop a revolt from taking place as we speak, just because she's uninstated the kill order so soon. She's not planning to start a war with us, she's being realistic. Just giving everyone a moment to adjust."
"Well, since you've clearly spent a lot time thinking about the Commander, maybe you want to clue us in on why she hasn't at least contacted us before now? Warrior woman over there gave her Yoda a radio, right?," Raven said, nodding towards Octavia, who rolled her eyes at the descriptor, "your girl is making the choice not to fill us in on whatever her plan is."
"Yeah, I'm still seeing why we should let Grounder Queen in," Jasper interjected.
Clarke was about seventy-five percent sure that the only reason Jasper was saying anything at all was to spite her. He still hadn't forgiven her, Clarke wasn't sure that he ever would. Clarke wasn't sure she deserved forgiveness anyway.
"We need to let her in because we want to survive. We can't do that if we have the Grounders against us. I'm not saying that Lexa would attack us over refusing to make an alliance with her, she left you guys alone for three months after Mount Weather, and she never retaliated for what Pike and his followers did. She's not looking for a fight.
"But the fact is that we can't stay impartial. It's not an option. The Ice Nation attack proved that. And yes, Lexa handled that instance for us, but the Ice Queen wasn't the only threat on Earth. There's always gonna be some kind of conflict, some disaster. We're not on the Ark anymore, things don't just go as planned. Our choices here are try to move forward or carry our grudges to our graves," Clarke said.
"So, that means that we're trusting her now? After everything?" Bellamy asked dubiously.
Clarke was not alone in her resentment of Bellamy feeling the need to speak up, but she went ahead and answered him.
"I'm not saying that anyone has to trust her. But we do need to work with her. Feel free to be vigilant, to not take everything she says at her word, that's fine, but don't start a war with her for no other reason than because you're scared. We need her."
"I think we can all agree to at least hear her out," Kane stated.
Clarke was about to agree with Kane when she heard the clatter of footsteps against metal, and looked over in time to see Harper and Monroe appear in the doorway, decked out in their guards uniforms.
It was still odd sometimes seeing so many of the original hundred who had been sent down to earth as criminals, now working as, well, the law. She could acknowledge though that it was probably just as weird for them to see her and Octavia more closely resembling Grounders than Arkers. They were all changing, finding their places in the new world order.
"Any news?" Abby asked, not needing to clarify what about.
"The Commander is at the gate," Monroe answered, Harper nodding next to her unnecessarily.
"Thank you," Kane responded, rubbing his hands together and turning back towards the group, "we probably shouldn't keep her waiting".
Clarke nodded eagerly and went to lead the way out. Admittedly her jump to action having more to do with her desire to see Lexa than any real worries about her having to wait. Lexa was almost infuriatingly patient most of the time. Then again, she'd probably be at least as anxious to meet again as Clarke was.
Which reminded her that this was going to be the first time that they'd seen each other in a month. A fair portion of that time wondering if they'd ever be on the same side again, and their reunion was going to be witnessed by everyone Clarke knew. It was a sobering thought, that she wouldn't get to greet the woman that she...cared for, with even half the pleasure she felt.
She stopped just as she got to the doorway, and turned to face the group.
"You know, this'll probably be a bit overwhelming for her. This is the first time she's been in Arkadia and it's not exactly under ideal circumstances, so maybe it would be better if just Kane and I went to greet her while the rest of you make sure everything's ready."
Clarke turned away without giving them a chance to object, and pretended that she didn't hear Raven muttering about 'set what up, we're just gonna sit at a table?' or see Octavia raise both of her eyebrows, clearly having a pretty solid theory as to why she wanted to be as alone with Lexa as possible.
Clarke took a deep breath as she stepped out of the Ark and caught sight of the gate. She tried to hide the nervous energy that was buzzing through her, but she wasn't certain that she had succeeded as well as she would have liked.
She nodded for the guard to open the gate, and barely managed to suppress an eye-roll when instead of just doing what she asked, the guard looked to Kane for confirmation. He agreed immediately, and gave Clarke a sympathetic smile. Clarke partially appreciated his acknowledgement, but was mostly annoyed and embarrassed.
She had been back for weeks and still struggled to remember that her orders weren't going to be followed the way that they were in Polis. The only people who seemed to pay her opinion any mind were other members of the hundred. And even then it was like pulling teeth trying to get them to stop questioning every little thing she said and did.
Logically she grudgingly understood a bit of why that was, she wasn't the Chancellor or even an acting Ambassador what with their ties cut from the Grounders. Still it grated to be treated like a child after everything she'd been through. She certainly didn't feel like one.
Clarke kept her gaze forward, but it was a bit of a struggle when she noticed the displeased grumblings of the people around her. They were too distinctive to effectively tune out with how quiet everyone else was being. Clarke couldn't tell if the silence had more to do with nerves or if they just didn't want to miss anything.
Kane came to a stop just behind her, fidgeting slightly, and reached forward to squeeze her shoulder. Clarke glanced at him, but didn't shrug off his attempt to comfort her as she had a sneaking suspicion that the touch was at least as much for him as it was for her.
Clarke turned back to the gate just as it slid open. And there was Lexa.
She was standing at the entrance of the gate, flanked by several of her guards, but thankfully wasn't wearing any warpaint. Her sword was also nowhere to be seen, though Clarke was certain that Lexa still had a knife or two stashed away in that black coat that she loved so much. It was definitely a good sign, that Lexa looked more like she was going to one of her meetings in Polis than to war.
This was Lexa's way of trying to be amicable. She still appeared powerful, in control, but not threatening. With the extreme emphasis that Lexa tended to put on presentation, Clarke knew that this was intentional.
Clarke's hands felt clammy and she wasn't sure what to do with them, they suddenly felt awkward and heavy just hovering by her thighs. She raised them to cross over her chest before she decided that that looked a little defensive, and moved them to clasp together in front of her at the last second.
She felt ridiculous for worrying about how she was standing, knowing it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference to Lexa, but she couldn't hold herself still. It was difficult having Lexa so close, but being unable to do or say anything that an Ambassador (or maybe if she pushed her luck) a friend, would.
Clarke watched as Lexa's jaw shifted slightly while she looked around Arkadia for the first time. It was a movement so small that it was likely invisible to anyone who didn't know to look for it. Her jaw stopped the moment she locked eyes with Clarke.
The corners of her lips started twitching upwards immediately, her eyes were shining. Clarke was sure she matched. Lexa tilted her chin back and studied Clarke warmly, before grudgingly turning to greet Kane, the person that she was supposed to be in Arkadia to see.
"Commander, it is good of you to join us. We are all truly grateful and admiring of your understanding after the...miscommunication that occurred," Kane said, trying to be as diplomatic as possible about the situation.
Lexa's eyebrow twitched and her lips pursed at the vast understatement, but allowed Kane's attempt at smoothing things over to pass without comment.
She acknowledged Kane respectfully with a nod, and then turned her attention to, what Clarke guessed, was her searching out any potential threats from the way that her gaze lingered just a moment too long on anyone who appeared especially hostile.
Many of them were from Farm Station, but it wasn't just them. She wouldn't be able to hide that fact, to keep her people's part in the hostility a secret from Lexa even if she wanted to. Lexa was too smart for that. She knew how many people were from Farm Station, Clarke herself had been the one to tell her, and the angry atmosphere was coming from a decidedly larger number of people.
Lexa was as poised as ever though. Any stray observer might well assume that she was unaware that anything was amiss, even though the only thing that didn't feel like a potential threat at the moment was Lexa. Which was incredibly ironic considering that the whole reason for the meeting that they were about to attend was so that her people could beg Lexa not to try to wipe them out.
It just wasn't easy to take the Warlord as a serious threat when she was pretty much your on-again off-again girlfriend, who cried when you kissed her, and whose eyes kept finding yours every few seconds. Watching Lexa go from cautious battle-ready Commander, to just melting when she looked at her, and back again, was both sweet, mildly embarrassing, and something that she would be sure to tease her about later.
It was comforting having that reaction directed toward her. Particularly from someone she felt so strongly about, and Clarke couldn't stop herself from stepping a few inches too close to Lexa to be anything other than familiar, vaguely registering that Kane had shuffled off a few feet to the side to give them the illusion of privacy as she did so.
"Ambassador," Lexa murmured, almost teasingly, as she held her arm out to Clarke.
"Heda," Clarke returned, and grasped the forearm presented to her. She wasn't sure whether she was blushing or smirking more as she recalled how the last time they'd done this had gone.
Lexa furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head in bemusement as she took in Clarke's reaction before understanding dawned on her. Her hand squeezed Clarke's arm at first, thumb tracing a small circle on Clarke's skin, making the hairs on her arm stand-up, before she realized what she was doing and pulled her hand back abruptly.
Clarke sighed, but Lexa's action was probably for the best. Any longer and things were probably gonna get weird, what with their audience and all.
Clarke and Lexa turned to Kane at the same time.
"Kane, why don't we show the Commander to the Conference room, so that we can get what we can sorted out today."
"Of course," Kane responded as he led the way into what was left of the Ark. "Also, I wondered if you wanted to spend the night here, I've already had a room made up for you. Though there's no pressure to use it if you have to leave, or would rather remain elsewhere."
"Thank you, Marcus, your hospitality is noted and appreciated. I think it might be best if we make those arrangements after our meeting, though. Nothing I have to say should warrant a particularly negative response, I truly believe that our people can coexist and wish to work towards that, but these things don't always go as we anticipate," Lexa said, as she stared straight ahead, impassive, her reassuring tone the only indication that she felt anything at all about the meeting.
"I agree, that sounds like a wise course of action," Kane said, giving a small smile, and picked up his pace.
Clarke slowed hers, and Lexa did the same, separating them from Kane by a few feet quickly.
"So," Clarke drawled quietly, turning slightly towards Lexa teasingly, "how are the kids?"
Lexa paused her fascinated inspection of the interior of the Ark to glance at Clarke from under her eyelashes, and gave a small smile.
"Doing well. They do wonder when you'll return, though. You're very missed."
"Oh, it's the kids that miss me, is it?"
"They're very fond of you, Clarke," Lexa confirmed, staring at Clarke out of the corner of her eye, smirk in place.
Clarke rolled her eyes, and decided that with Kane being the only other person in the hallway it wasn't too risky to grasp Lexa's arm and lean in closer.
Lexa startled at the unexpected touch, but pressed against Clarke contentedly all the same almost immediately.
"I don't know. My decision is going to have to wait until after the negotiation. I have to make sure everything is settled here before I can even think about being anywhere else. Look what happened the last time I left them to their own devices," Clarke whispered, biting back a grimace.
Lexa studied her for a moment, and stroked the back of Clarke's hand that was still nestled in the crook of her elbow.
"Clarke, you don't need to feel guilty for the decisions that your people made without you here. Their choices were their own."
"Then why does it feel like it's my fault?"
"Because you're a good person who doesn't like to see other people fail, to see them in pain. You take on burdens that are not your own because you're the one who's strong enough to bare them. I respect that immensely, your compassion, your determination. I don't mean to rush you, Clarke. I understand quite well the weight of a people. Just know that whenever you're ready you'll be welcomed back with open arms," Lexa said, keeping her voice low, for Clarke's ears only.
"I know," Clarke answered, nodding, meeting Lexa's eyes and finding it impossible to look away from the warmth and understanding offered to her unconditionally.
Kane stopped outside of the door of the room they were going to be holding the meeting in, and turned to Clarke and Lexa.
"Commander, I don't mean to overstep, and I know that we want to present a united front, but...," Kane trailed off, gesturing vaguely, between Clarke and Lexa, and rubbing the back of his neck.
It took the two of them an embarrassingly long moment to catch onto what he meant. They released each other, with reluctance, though Lexa was looking pretty proud, Clarke noted. She was tempted to whack Lexa for her smirk, but didn't want to embarrass her in front of Kane right before an important meeting that had to go well.
"You know, we wouldn't have to do that in Polis," Lexa pointed out quietly, as she smoothed down the front of her coat, and clasped her arms behind her back.
Clarke ignored her, and gestured for Kane to open the door. Shockingly enough he did so.
