A/N: Returning once again to the Unrequited Sabriel universe, we join Sam as he deals with the consequence of his wall crumbling down. Spoilers for season seven.

This story came out of me wondering why the hell Sam held out so long. I mean considering how utterly fucked in the head he was, he should have cracked sooner that he did. So I decided that maybe he held out because he had an angel on his shoulder keeping him anchored. It didn't come out quiet as I planned. Originally I wanted to write a story where Sam was living this normal AU life with Gabriel and couldn't tell the difference between that, the real world and Lucifer's torture. But it just wasn't flowing that way, so you got this instead.

Advisory WARNING: References to rape. (In chapter 2)


Chapter 1: Hello, Cruel Torture

Sam groaned beneath the covers, his hand reaching out for the sound that had woken him, slamming around on the nightstand, unable to find it. "Dean." He groaned shifting some more. That's when he felt it, the warm body, the arm, the hand snaking low over his hips. Had he brought a girl back last night? He wondered as the hand swept down to his groin. Slowly it registered that it didn't feel like a girl's hand, it was rough and large, though not as large as his own, and somewhere in the back of his mind a bright red alarm bell screamed, his heart began to race, but that could be the incessant phone.

"Should I be worried that you're moaning your brother's name in your sleep?" A familiar voice murmured behind him. A deep smooth male voice.

Sam shot out of the bed, naked. His back pressed against the wall. His eyes wide with panic and confusion as they stared at the man in the bed. Surely that wasn't who he thought it was? He rubbed at his eyes. It couldn't be. He'd been dead for years. Sam's stomach clenched up tight. "Gabriel?" he murmured, frowning at the man lying beneath the large duvet watching him with concern.

"Seriously, you've really got to stop drinking with you're brother." Gabriel smirked, reaching over to shut off the alarm clock beside him. "What time did you get in last night?"

Sam stood dumbfounded, his mind spinning. He glanced around the room, the pale silver walls, the deep grey carpet, large double bed currently supporting the naked archangel. The sight sparked something in Sam head and he glanced down at his own body, naked as the day he was born. His stomach churned as he lunged forward to snatch the cover, tugging it off the bed to shield himself.

Gabriel laughed, rolled off the mattress and moved towards him, stopping uncomfortably close. "Why so shy?" he smirked with a wiggled of his sandy brows, his amber eyes filled with something Sam didn't want to name. Something he hadn't seen since the night he'd….no he wouldn't think about that.

Sam swallowed hard, pressing his back flush against the wall, his knuckles white around the duvet. "No. No." he stammered; shaking his head as Gabriel's fingers brushed down the thin trail of hair at his navel, and a spark of something forgot warmed his skin. His eyes fluttered closed of their own accord. It had been so long since he'd felt Gabriel's impossibly warm touch, and as it was had it set off a battle inside him. Disgust and fear, against desire for comfort only the archangel had ever been able to provide.

"Sam." the man whispered into his ear, his breath playing over the shell.

There was warmth. There hadn't been warmth before. Hadn't been softness and care. What was this?

"Sam!" A voice yelled through the fog. Dean. Dean's voice.

"Sam? Are you hearing me?"

Sam jumped as Dean appeared in his line of sight. Blinking, looking around, there was no sign of Gabriel, or Lucifer - Or at least the illusion of them. If it was an illusion, but it had to have been an illusion. It was his head still coping with all of the memories of Hell.

"Look at me. Hey. Now we've got to button this up. Come on, lets get out of here."

Sam stumbled away from the wall. "Okay." his gaze flickering in search of either archangel.

He rushed out after Dean and Bobby, pushing what had happened in his head to the back of his mind. It was just the memories of hell seeping into his real life. They weren't real. Lucifer wasn't real. Gabriel most definitely wasn't real. It was all a sick joke his mind was playing on him. He had more important things to deal with.

They burst into the sunlight and Sam watched Dean pick up his pace, running towards the open gates that lead to the large lake. As Dean skidded to a jolt, Sam watching wide eyed as Castiel vanished beneath the water, a second later there was an explosive ripple, then…nothing. Sam stood there, mouth clenched tight as Dean moved closer to the waters edge, fishing out the remains of Cass' trench-coat.

Sam's chest tightened at the pain clear on his brother's face. A pain he could easily empathise with. Thoughts of Gabriel floated into his mind, and he sucked in a deep breath at the sharp stab of something unnamed ripped through his chest. It had been so much easier when he hadn't cared.

~Dreams Are The Salvation of The Soul~

Sam settled his head against the arm of the couch, his eyelids heavy. He could still hear Lucifer taunting him in the back of his mind but it was too much. He needed sleep. It wasn't long before he drifted off.

"Sam?"

"Sam."

He wrinkled his nose at the gentle breeze brushing over his ear, cringing when it began to grow wet. He swatted his hand against the side of his ear, trying to dislodge whatever it was currently licking his face, only to find his hand swept aside and the licking becoming a series of nips and sucks, becoming more insistent. He groaned pleasurably despite himself, his eyes still closed. He turned his head blindly, seeking out the mouth that was clearly not that of an animal but a human. He found it quickly, and the meeting of lips filled him with a warm content heat he hadn't felt in a long time.

Opening his mouth to the probing tongue, he lifted his hands, intent on running his fingers over smooth skin and into long hair. What his palm met however was a rough, lightly stubbled jaw and short soft hair. But strangely this didn't pull him from the moment, he simple wrapping his fingers in the short strands, tilting the head attached so as to deepen the kiss.

He swallowed a hungry groan, and with it heat flooded his body. The bed shifted beside him, and then there was warm flesh pressed against him, ribs pressed to his own, nothing separating them but a think layer of flesh and muscle. Sam's free arm snaked around the waist of the hot body pressed to him, pulling it flush to his. Sucking in a sharp breath at the feel of a solid male erecting on his thigh. - And still he couldn't bring himself to pull away. The warmth was too consuming. The peace that came with it a sanctuary he didn't want to lose.

Fingers threaded through his hair, pulling on the long warm golden brown strands till he moaned against the other set of lips. His hips snapping forward of their own accord.

"God." a voice moaned into Sam's mouth. "I've m-missed you….s-so much."

Sam hummed in agreement, using his weight and height to roll them over, his larger body trapping the smaller one beneath him. Breaking the kiss only for a moment to reply to the whispered words. "Me too."

Sam didn't open his eyes. He didn't want to. He feared what opening them would mean, what it would do. All he wanted was to lose himself in this moment, no worries about anything but the body that offered him what he needed. Comfort, warmth, and security.

His fingers trailed down the rough jaw to the smooth flesh of his lovers neck, over his collarbone, before palming the flat chest pressed to his. A small scattering of hairs tickling his palm as it blindly rubbed circles over the male ribs. The man beneath him sucking in a sharp breath as the rough callous hand ran across the over sensitive nipples. Sam grinned proudly, shifting his full body weight between the firm spread thighs, their erections grazing each others, sending a wave of heat through them. Sam dragged his mouth along the sweep of the man's jaw, following the trail his fingers had blazed a few seconds prior. As his mouth reached where his hand had drawn such delightful moans, the fingers continued on, while his tongue swirled and his teeth nipped.

A deep moan filled his ear, ringing like a bell in the silence, drawing him home in a fog. His fingers combed through thick hair before brushing over velvet steel, wrapping firmly around the throbbing muscle trapped between them.

"Uh…Saaaam…yes, please, pleeeeease meeee."

Fingers tugged at Sam's hair, hips thrusting up to meet each rough, firm stroke of his hand. Gabriel's breathy voice in his ear.

"S…Sam."

"Hey, wake up sunshine. Up and at'em…Sammy!"

"Sammy!"

Sam started awake breathless staring up into his brother's face. His head spinning. He shifted upright, taking the bottle of water and the protein bar Dean was holding out to him as he rearranged himself. Hoping his brother hadn't noticed the bulging in his pants. Not that's he'd asked about it if he did. "Breakfast in bed." he murmured.

Dean dragged a chair closer to the couch. "Don't get used to it. Let me see that hand."

"Aww, he wants to hold you're little hand. How sweet."

Sam startled at the sound of Lucifer's voice beside him. He turned sharply to stare at the devil while Dean checked the cut on his palm. His eyes instantly scanning the room for Gabriel.

When he didn't see the dead archangel, he released a breath of relief. It had just been a dream. The second in less than a day granted, but a dream none the less. There was no pain wracking his body. No cold and empty feeling in his chest. Only fading warmth and comfort.

He knew he should probably ask himself why he was dreaming of Gabriel. Especially after everything at had happened to him in hell. All those things he'd been blissfully ignorant of before Cass had caused his walls to crumble.

Well….that wasn't quiet true. Not really. Gabriel had been on is mind fleetingly since his return, but during that first year back he hadn't cared about what had happened in hell, what he'd lived though. He hadn't given two shits to what the archangels had done to him because he didn't have a soul to care. Then Death had built a wall around the horrors. Practically erasing them. Now though it was like a tsunami. That trip into his own head. Retrieving those memories. It was a surprise he'd been able to put himself back together after that. The guilt and fear. The feelings of disgust, repulsion and shame. The intense hatred he'd felt towards himself as much as Gabriel and Lucifer.

But these visions of Gabriel? They felt different to those memories. There was warmth that he hadn't felt in hell, ironically. Gabriel's touch didn't burn his skin like ice now. There wasn't that fear when the angel touched him. Whispered his name. Pressed their bodies together.

He hissed as Dean pressed on the stitched skin.

"Arh, you'll live." Dean grumbled; getting to his feet and heading for the desk.

Sam watched him as he snatched up the bottle of whiskey and strolled back, grabbing Sam's hand firmly to pour the alcohol over the wound, making him hiss again and clench his teeth. As he closed his eyes against the stinging pain, Gabriel's face flittered across his minds eyes. He opened them again quickly, not wanting to be dragged back into the world. Fearful his hopes would once again be turned to nightmares. "So, water invasion. Any leads?" he asked; desperate to distract himself.

"I've got my feelers out." Bobby replied; taking Dean's abandoned seat and gripping Sam's hand. Ready to re-bandage it. "Whatever they're up to, it ain't going Mathra down main street. - They'll turn up. They seemed real eager to stretch their legs you know."

Sam watched the older man slowly unroll the bandage.

"Now onto our other big problem." Dean said sharply from the arm of the couch.

Sam knew what was coming. Dean was going to want answers; problem was he didn't think he could give him any. At least none he'd like.

"How you doing? - And don't say okay." Dean warned.

"I'm not okay." He answered honestly.

"You think." Dean scoffed.

"Hey, go a little easy on him." Bobby scolded. Shooting Dean a hard look.

"There's nothing easy about it Bobby. He acted like he had everything under control."

"I get it, okay. I'm sorry. I didn't exactly want to crack up you know."

"What the hell happened back there?"

Sam dropped his gaze. Staring down at his pants; thankful to see his erection had eased. "Its….It's not just flashbacks anymore."

"Then what?" Dean frowned with growing concern.

Sam inhaled slowly. "Its more like…I'm seeing through the cracks."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm having a difficult time figuring out what's real."

"Hallucinations?"

"For starters."

"For starters? If you're tripping hells bells, why would you hide that?"

"I wasn't hiding it Dean. I was…I was just not talking about it. It seemed like you two had enough going on as it was. Look, I just figured I'd just try to hold on to the safety bar and ride it out, you know. I…But its getting more specific."

"As in specifically what?"

Sam swallowed; turning startled once more by the grinning smug face of Lucifer. "Lucifer." he murmured guiltily.

~Dreams Are The Salvation of The Soul~

Dean hadn't taken the news about Lucifer well. Which wasn't really unexpected. It just made Sam feel better about not telling him about Gabriel. But then, why would he? They were just dreams. Dreams that for the first time in weeks weren't filled with nightmare of fire, brimstone and excruciating agony. That weren't ripped flesh and frozen empty touches. The worst part now though was that Dean was watching. Constantly keeping an eye on him as if waiting for him to break and blow up.

And he was waiting for it too. It had to happen eventually. He couldn't have all that shit in his head and not loose it. He just had to hope no one got caught in the crossfire.

Sam exhaled in a harsh rush of air and put the fully assembled weapon back on the desk top. He'd been stripping and reassembling it for hours. In a bizarre way it was calming and right now he needed to be calm.

Resting his elbows either side of the weapon he dropped his head into his hands and closed his eyes. Taking a couple of deep breaths. As he sat there; peaceful and silent he felt the ghost of hands on his shoulders. Rubbing deep at the muscle. He moaned and leant back into the body behind him.

"You're so tense Sammy." Gabriel's voice whispered in his ear. "You need to relax."

"Got any ideas?" Sam murmured; surprising himself at the lightness his voice carried.

"A few."

Lips brushed against Sam's forehead, down his nose to his lips. He moaned at the feel of the warm soft kiss, and the scrap of stubble against the bridge of his nose. With his eyes still closed; he lifted his hand and dragged his fingers through the soft thin hair behind him. Opening his mouth up to the tongue probing for entry. Allowing Gabriel to deepen the kiss further. The angel pulled back a little, speaking.

"I feel like Spiderman." he chuckled softly.

"You're better than Spiderman." Sam whispered; pulling him back down into the kiss.

"Sam?"

Sam shoot up straight, his hands falling to the desk from where they'd been cradling his head. He turned to see Dean watching him. Again. With that look. "Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Just…resting my eyes."

"Maybe you should get some sleep." Dean replied; that intense concerned look still pinned to his face.

"I…yeah. Maybe I will." Sleep sounded good. Maybe he could finish the dream he'd just started. He pushed himself up from the table and made his way to the stairs. Rolling his shoulders and rubbing at his eyes.

~Dreams Are The Salvation of The Soul~

Sam turned his head on the pillow. Groaning slightly.

"Hey." A familiar distant voice whispered.

Gritting his teeth Sam forced his eyes open to stare up at the bright smile of Gabriel. "G-Gabriel?" he frowned. Glancing around at the room. "W-where am I?"

"Hospital. You had an accident."

Sam swallowed; his breath catching. "Dean?"

"He's fine. Though he won't be when I get my hands on him. That son of a bitch could have gotten you both killed. I knew he was going to crash had dumb ass car one day." he threaded his fingers through Sam's hair.

"Car?" Sam frowned; shaking his head. "No…it was…Bobby's place?"

"Bobby's fine."

"But the…I need to….the Leviathans." Sam panted; trying to push himself up in the bed.

Gabriel leant closer; his lips Kiddo to Sam for a brief moment. "Sshh. Everything is just fine. You need to sleep Sammy. Just sleep and rest. I'm here."

Sam's eyes drifted closed as sleep dragged him back under.

~~~Dreams Are The Salvation Of A Soul~~~

Sam was ashamed to say it took him too long to realize that the dreams weren't dreams. At least not entirely. It wasn't till the incident with Becky and the love potion that it clicked. While he was out of it, he hadn't has a single delusion of Lucifer, he also hadn't had a single dream of Gabriel. - Which considering they'd been pretty constant over the past few months, made it odd.

Of course he hadn't really noticed at the time. Too loved up with Becky to notice much of anything. It hadn't been till they dealt with the rough crossroads demon that the dreams returned, along with the whispering voice of the devil.

~~~Dreams Are The Salvation Of A Soul~~~

Sam blinked, lifting his head from the side of the bath tub to stare up at Gabriel, smirking down at him.

"You planning on lying there all night?"

Sam sighed and pushed himself up in the water. "Was thinking about it." he replied softly. His gaze never leaving Gabriel's.

Gabriel huffed. "Well in that case I'll call someone else to go to the reunion with."

Sam reached out, wrapping his wet fingers around Gabriel's wrist and pulling him down beside the bath.

He looked at him warmly. His hand releasing the slimmer wrist only to curve around his lover's neck. "We could just stay in and…" he pulled him closer. Sliding their lips together.

Gabriel moaned before reluctantly pulled back. "We've already RSVP-ed. And I promised Katherine."

Sam groaned. "Fine." he pushed himself to his feet using the sides of the tub. Splashing water everywhere. Upright he glanced down at Gabriel, still crouching beside the bath, his gaze flickering between Sam's face and his groin. "You sure about the reunion?" Sam pressed with a smug grin.

Gabriel swallowed convulsively, heaving a heavy sigh. "Yes." he whispered insincerely. Then his gaze lifted as he looked up from his knees. "Though we don't have to leave for at least an hour."

Sam's breath hitched as he lifted a leg over the tub side, setting it securely on the tiles floor before lifting the other. "There's a lot you can do in a hour." he finally replied, lowering himself down in front of the angel. With his knees pressed to the tiles he surged forward, capturing Gabriel's lips and forcing him back onto the bathroom floor. Stretching himself out over him like a blanket. Their tongues moving seamlessly together. Gabriel's fingers biting into the solid muscle of Sam's back and shoulders.

"Sam."

"Hmmm."

"Oh Sammy. Wakey Wakey."

"Sam!"

Sam shot up straight. Banging his elbow on the car door. "What?" he snapped; hissing at the pain while glaring over at his brother.

"No dirty dreams in my car dude. I do not need to listen to you getting off. And if I hear you groaning you're crazy ass wife's name…"

"She's not my wife!" Sam snapped. "And I wasn't dreaming about her. - We did….nothing happened."

Dean sighed with relief. "Glad to hear it. I totally didn't need her popping back into our lives in nine months time."

Sam swallowed hard, and shifted back to stare at the passing night.

"Wonder what he'd say if he knew it was my baby brother you were dreaming about screwing?"

Sam's forcibly kept his gaze locked on the window as he reached for his other hand. Pressing his nail into the flesh and telling himself it wasn't real. None of it. Lucifer chuckling and tainting even as he crackled out of existence.

~~~Dreams Are The Salvation Of A Soul~~~

He didn't know what made it occurred to him two days later that maybe the dream world with Gabriel was part of Lucifer's screwy plan. Especially when the bastard had done it a thousand times before. He just shot up in the darkened motel room. Breathless and confused. A cold sweat coating his body with the feeling of having been there before. Having been fooled too many times already.

It was another three day before he could bring himself to close his eyes and return to the lie.

When he did he found himself stood in front of a sink. His arms deep in soapy water. The house around him silent. He glanced around and felt his insides clenched at the sight of his childhood home. Or at least the one they'd be forced to abandon. Seeing it only heightened his behalf this was another of Lucifer's tricks.

He turned back to stare down at the suds. Captivated by them. Lost in a millisecond. He was shocked out of the moment by hands skimming over his hips, sliding beneath his t-shirt.

Sam reacted. Angry. Furious. Spinning he capture Gabriel around the throat, forcing him back against the counter. He wouldn't let this happen again. He wasn't there any more. He glared down at the wide eyed angel. "You can stop the games. I know its you!" he squeezed tighter. "It won't work this time. I'll fight. I'll win."

Gabriel's face coloured red. His mouth open as he tried to breath. Finally he wheezed out words. "I-it's okay Sa-ammy. I - I'm here. You're home. Sa-ammy, you're safe. He…can't hurt you. I won't hurt you."

Sam's eyes narrowed disbelievingly. His hand neither realising nor relaxing its hold.

"Kiddo, p-please." Gabriel pleaded. His hand trembling as he reached to grip at the hunters wrist. His thumbs rubbing calming circles. His other hand pressing warmly against Sam's cheek.

Sam's eyes fluttered closed at the touch. The other's touch had never felt like that. It was always ice cold and filled with pain. Sighing Sam relaxed. Sinking into the warmth and comfort. Needing more.

He dropped his mouth to Gabriel's. Kissing him deeply. Apologizing silently. His hands cradling the angel's face gently. After a few minutes he pulled away. Pressing his forehead to Gabriel's. "I'm sorry, I….he's getting stronger. I can feel it."

Gabriel gripped his face, pushing him away enough to meet his gaze. "That's why I'm here. You're always safe with me, Sammy. I've protected you since we were fourteen. I'll never stop protecting you." then he pulled his into a slow kiss. A soft meeting of lips. - Sealing a promise.

~~~Dreams Are The Salvation Of A Soul~~~

Sam stopped questioning his dreams. He was just grateful to have a safe quiet place to escape to when the real world got to difficult and Lucifer got too loud. He couldn't talk to Dean about any of it. His brother was struggling to cope as it was. And he didn't want to keep seeing that look in Dean's eyes. The one that said he was just waiting for it all to implode.

So he found solace with the last person, creature, he ever expected to. Though with everything that had happened between them, it really shouldn't be quite so unexpected.

Most time the dreams were boarding on X-rated. Leaving Sam waking hard and in need of self-relief. But some times it was almost domestic between them. A walk in the park. A lazy afternoon in bed just talking. Sat at a table eating a pleasant meal. Until Lucifer or Dean ripped down the walls of his sanctuary and dragged him back to reality.

Sam opened his eyes and found his vision taken up by the sight of the TV. Gentle soothing fingers passing through his hair and he leant into the touch. Savouring the peace that flooded him, he turned his face into the denim clad thigh and inhaled deeply.

"Sam?" Gabriel's voice whispered. His hand still moving thought the long strands.

Sam turned back to the TV with a content sigh, before reluctantly allowing his eyelids to drop, fearful he'd be pulled back to reality.

"What's wrong Kiddo?"

"Dean." Sam murmured.

"You want to talk about it?"

"He's given up. It's like he just doesn't care anymore. He said everything can go to hell."

Gabriel sighed. "Understandable."

Sam rolled onto his back, looking up at the angel with confusion.

"Cass." Gabriel smiled.

Sam stared up at him for another few minutes. Then sighed. "I've never seen him like this. Not even after dad. - Or Ellen and Jo."

"Cass was important to him Sam. You know how close they were. Cass wasn't lying about the profound bond they shared. He pulled Dean from Hell Sam, that's going to leave some intense connections. - He's lost that now. His only friend. How would you feel?"

Sam stared up at him, his eyes searching Gabriel's.

Gabriel smiled sadly. "I know I wasn't that for you Sammy." he dragged his fingers through Sam's hair.

Sam turned; breaking eye contact and turned back to the TV. "I'm here for him."

"No. you're here. He knows your not fine Sam. He knows he's losing you bit by bit. First Cass, now you. Is it any wonder he's giving up fighting?"

Sam pressed his lips together and turned further into Gabriel's thigh. "Do you think he'll get better?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Not unless he has a reason to keep fighting."

"Sam? Sammy!"

"They're pulling me back." Sam sighed; fighting the pull of reality.

Gabriel smiled down at him, pressing a kiss to the hunter's forehead. "I'll be here when you need me."

"Sam!"

He opened his eyes to see Bobby staring down at him and he sighed regretfully. His eyes scanning the room for his brother.

~~~Dreams Are The Salvation Of A Soul~~~

Sam stood in the heavy rain staring down at the polished white grave stone. Bobby's name carved deep into it. His tears hard to see beneath the droplets of water from the shy above. His chest hunt from the pain of loss. He glanced up to find himself alone. Dean wasn't there. No one was.

Then he felt it. A warm large secure hand slipping into his own. Squeezing tight. He turned his head and released a much needed breath at the sight of Gabriel. The angel smiled sadly up at him, lifting his other hand to brush at Sam's damp cheeks.

Sam squeezed the hand in his tight and choked on yet another sob. He couldn't cry out there. He had to be the strong one. Dean's loss was greater than his.

"You loved him too. He's not just Dean's." Gabriel whispered beside him.

"But Dean…"

"Does not own grief, Sammy."

Sam sighed. He wanted to argue, but he knew the angel was right.

"You ready to go?" Gabriel whispered.

Sam turned to look at the older man. A sadness in his eyes. "No. I don't want to go back there."

"You can't stay here forever Kiddo. You've got a mystery to solve. People to save. Monsters to kill."

"The family business." Sam sighed warily. "Its just so hard, Gabe."

"I know." he leant forward; pressing his lips to Sam's.

"I'm not strong enough. You know I'm not. I can feel him getting stronger and me getting weaker."

Gabriel moved closer still, his hands cupping Sam's face. "That's why I'm here, Kiddo. He can't have you. I won't let him. Trust me."

"I never trusted you. You lied to me."

Gabriel's smirked that annoying off-sided smiled that had Sam's heart skipping. "What's a fake identity between lovers?"

"Lovers? We weren't lovers."

"Weren't we?" Gabriel chuckled. "We had sex. We had fights. I died for you. What would you call us?"

Sam looked at him sadly. "You died for….to save…her."

"You know that's not true Sammy. No matter what you tell yourself. No matter what he tells you. You know I died to protect you."

Sam sucked in a sharp breath. "I wish you hadn't." he sighed wearily.

"I'm going to choose to take that as an admittance that you miss me, and not a sign of your re-emerging suicidal tendencies."

Sam took a fresh breath and tightened his arms around the shorter man. Squeezing tight. Burying his face in the man's neck. "Dean's pulling me back."

"Then you should go. I'll see you again soon." he pressed another kiss to Sam's lips.

Sam shot up on the ratty bed to stare at his brother with wide regretful eyes. A heavy sigh escaping his lips.

~~~Dreams Are The Salvation Of A Soul~~~

Sam tightened his arms around the warm naked body in front of him. Pulling him close and inhaling his sweet scent. Gabriel moaned contently as he snuggled back into the hunters embrace.

"Did you ever think about having children?" Sam whispered. "Can angels even have children?"

Gabriel turned to meet Sam's green curious gaze. "You know they can. You've read enough."

Sam nodded. "But its forbidden."

"Yes."

"So you never thought about it?"

Gabriel shrugged. "I was an earth a long time. No doubt it crossed my mind at same time. You wanted children, once."

Sam sighed sadly. "With Jessica. We had it all planned. A boy and a girl. Mary after mom, Philip after her dad."

Gabriel turned in the man's arms. "I'm sorry."

Sam pressed his lips into a thin line. "Since…I gave up. I don't think I could bring a child into this life. I don't know how Ellen did it? I wouldn't want my kids to grow up like I did."

"Your life wasn't all bad Sammy."

"I know. But it could have been better." he insisted.

Gabriel rubbed his hand along Sam's muscled arm. "How's Dean dealing?"

Sam shook his head sadly. "I…I don't know. He's not talking to me right now. The whole thing has hit him hard. You know how he is. Despite what he says about hunting, I know he wants a family. Its why I made him settle down with Lisa and Ben."

"But he wasn't happy there, Sam, because hunting is his life. He just needs to find a balance. - You both do."

"I don't think we can. Neither of us wants to bring someone into this world. If we want families we've got to choose. - And I think if we're given the choice, we'd choose completely different roads." Sam whispered sadly.

Gabriel curled his hand behind Sam's head and pulled him down into a soft lingering kiss. Pulling back with a regretful look. He tightened his arms around the larger man. Luring the man into the sanctuary of his warmth, helping him forget the troubles of the real world.


A/N: Well how's that?

Notes: for those would haven't already worked them out I referenced the following season 7 episodes: Hello, Cruel World. Season 7: Time for a Wedding. How to Win Friends and Influence Monster. Death's Door. The Slice Girl.