A rattling breath came from down the corridor, getting nearer and nearer. One of the now-familiar black wraiths passed by his cell, and he inched back on his cot, so his back was flat against the wall.
He hated the dementors, with their cold auras and spine-chilling presences.
How he longed for the warm fire in the Gryffindor Common room, how he wished more than ever for a warm hug from Mrs. Potter-
A strangled sob escaped his throat at the thought of his best-friend's mother. He couldn't picture her face and was having trouble remembering her at all, but he worked as hard as he could to pull up the warm feeling of one of her hugs. The smell of homemade chocolate chip cookies that was conspicuously absent from his own house, warm and strong arms that held him tightly such as he never had been at his parents' home.
He screamed as it felt like the memories were forcefully ripped from his mind, being replaced by the voice of his father shouting out curses and the cold, motionless body of James, laying haphazardly on the floor of the house in Godric's Hollow.
My fault, all my fault.
He had been the one to convince Lily and James to switch at the last moment, to change Secret Keepers to Peter. He had been sure that Peter would be the safer one, that he himself would be the obvious target. He had hoped that he could act as a decoy so Peter could stay even safer, so he could lead Voldemort to a false trail.
Remembering the moment he had realized the deception, Sirius let out a keening moan that wasn't out of place in the topmost cells of the Wizarding prison.
"I'm sorry Lily, James. I'm so, so sorry," he whispered into the darkness, a few tears falling from his eyes into his overgrown hair.
I'm the reason they're dead. I'm the reason Harry has to live with Lily's bastard of a sister and her husband. If only I had been able to catch that rat...
Righteous anger consumed him and he felt a rush at the feeling that he knew the Dementors could not suck out of him. Peter had betrayed them all, blabbing to Voldemort like the little rat he was. Peter was a murdering traitor, and Sirius swore that if he ever managed to leave Azkaban he would not rest until Pettigrew was found and destroyed. Then he would be able to give Harry the life he deserved, with plenty of spoiling and Quidditch and pranks. Maybe Remus would come and live with them too-
Waves of despair crashed over him again as another Dementor stopped in front of his cell to drag the happy feelings out of him.
Who am I kidding? Sirius asked himself, resting his head on the wall behind him. I have a life sentence and there's no proof I didn't do it. Not that it would matter to the Ministry anyway. They didn't even give me a trial the first time. There's no way even Dumbledore would be able to get me an appeal. I might as well die here; I deserve it.
Because it's my fault, all my fault.
Rather short, but I feel it gets the point across. I imagined this scene to be set near the beginning of Sirius's imprisonment. The sudden mood changes are a result of the Dementors' presences and the fact that he is going a bit insane from the atmosphere and seclusion from pretty much anyone else.
What did you think of it?
Written for: Fanfiction, School of Imagination and Creativity; Transfiguration Assessment 2: Prompts - emotion: guilt
