Hot. That was the first thought that crossed Payson Keeler's mind, as she felt herself slipping back into the realm of consciousness. The heat was coming from the body that was pressed fully against her back, and the blanket that was tossed over them both. That thought was followed closely by an explosion of pain behind her eye sockets, and a roiling in her stomach that let her know she would definitely be seeing her dinner again. She pressed her face into the pillow with a weak groan in an attempt to stave of that inevitability.

That was the last time she let Kelly Parker, Lauren Tanner and Emily Kmetko "help" her ever again. After a few deep breaths, she rolled over to warn whichever of the girls she was sleeping with that unless they wanted to wash alcohol scented vomit out of their hair, they might want to move and fast. Opening her eyes slowly, she fully expected to see Lauren or Emily sharing in her current state of misery. The reality turned her blood to ice.

Payson was well aware at her best fate was a fickle friend. One day you're the best gymnast in the world, the next day you break your back. Fate had allowed her to become the world champion, of course there had to be a downturn of equal measure. Her sleep and alcohol addled mind struggled to process what her eyes were seeing. She realized fate was an even bigger bitch than she could have possibly fathomed. Five seconds later after the initial processing was done she found herself staring into the crystal clear ice blue depths of eyes that could only belong to one person, a very confused Sasha Belov.


It was the reception after Worlds, and she was the new All Around World Champion. The media crush after her win had been almost brutal. She knew what they had been saying prior to the competition. They thought it was admirable that she had the surgery, and it was amazing that she was even able to get back on the bars after her fall. She was a hero, a role model for coming back to the sport, but no one ever thought she would be great again. No one ever thought she could put up real scores again.

Sure they might let her perform at exhibitions, trot her out whenever they wanted a nice public relations piece, or a feel good story. Everyone would pat her on the head, and say patronizingly sweet and clichéd statements about her heroism, and her champion spirit, but no one ever expected her to rise that champion level again.

They never thought they would be able to count on her again. Behind her back, they scoffed and made snide comments about her sad, misguided attempts to get back on the Olympic track. Even her parents, they were happy she was back and they had always believed in her dreams, but she saw the fear behind their smiles. Not just the fear that she would be physically hurt again, but the fear of what would happen to her emotionallyand mentally if she couldn't be the gymnast she was before. Funnily enough, they were right. She wasn't the gymnast she had been before, she could never be that girl again.

That girl was naïve and fearless; young and inexperienced. That girl would have always been second best, because she lacked any real depth. Post accident Payson was a different animal all together, she had been broken. The pieces reassembled themelves in a way that formed a completely different girl, a more complete girl, a more complete gymnast. The gymnast she always needed to be, and there had been one person there throughout it all. The person who had become her best friend, her counselor, her partner, her confessor, her protector, her family, and her biggest fan. Alexander "Sasha" Belov. The man who was currently staring at her with dawning horror as he processed what was becoming all to evident to Payson.

After the realization fully sank in, Payson half jumped half fell out of the bed. She clutched the sheet around herself in an effort to create some sort of barrier from what she could now see was a very naked Sasha Belov. Now that there was some distance between them she gave the room a quick once over. There was the dress that she had worn to the reception in a crumpled heap by the window, and what looked to be Sasha's pants hanging from the leg of an overturned chair. She cringed when she saw her bra lying on the floor under a pair of boxers. It was plethora of evidence pointing to the undeniable fact that she and Sasha had…. engaged in… some form of… sexual congress.

The dinner that had been threatening to make reappearance since her awakening, chose that moment to do so. Placing a hand over her mouth, Payson raced for the bathroom slamming the door behind her. She expelled the contents of her stomach until there was nothing left. Sinking down to the floor she leaned her back against the bathtub and closed her eyes wishing that the last ten minutes no scratch that the last ten hours had never happened.

She felt the coldness from the floor seeping through her skin and settling in her blood. What was she supposed to do? How could she go back out there and face him? Granted, she had never been in a situation even remotely close to this one, but she knew intellectually what had occurred between them.

Trying to put her racing thoughts into some semblance of order, Payson stood up and walked over to the sink. Using the hotel provided mouthwash to rid her mouth of vomit reside. Throwing ice-cold water on her face, she attempted to calm her emotions, which seemed to be racing even more than her thoughts.

Her first order of business was to get dressed and get away from the scene of the crime. It was hard to think rationally standing naked in a hotel bathroom, and it was even harder to think, knowing there was an equally naked Sasha on the other side of the door. Gathering her last vestiges of courage, the tiny fragments of self-respect and dignity she had left, and a hotel provided robe for modesty's sake, Payson prepared to exit the bathroom.

Her hand hovered over the doorknob. She couldn't just turn tail and run away. She had done that before, and the man on the other side of the door taught her that you have to confront difficult situations. This was by far the most difficult situation in which she had ever found herself. Steadying her nerves she reached for the door again, this time with the intent to walk out there, and figure out how to handle this situation, together.

She didn't know what exactly it was she expected to see upon her exit, but it wasn't to find Sasha sitting in the same spot staring at a spot on the bed with a blank look on his face. He didn't even look up when she came back into the room. She began to approach him, slowly gathering her confidence along the way. Sasha would know what to do, he always knew what to do. She simply had to make sure he knew that leaving was not an option. They could get through this, she would make sure they got through this. As she got closer, she glanced down at the bed and noticed that the spot he was looking at wasn't arbitrary. His gaze was fixed on a red stain, a bloodstain, her bloodstain.

The actual physical evidence of what had transpired brought her up short, and all notions of having a calm and mature conversation fled. Her sharp intake of breath seemed to jolt him out of his trance. His eyes shot up to hers and they were filled with pain. He looked tormented.

"Sasha…" Payson started quietly, sensing that things were quickly taking a turn for the worse.

"No!" he roared causing her to jump back. He reached for his shirt, which had been on the floor next to him, and began shoving his arms through. Standing, he began fumbling around looking for what she assumed to be the rest of his clothes. She reached over and picked up his pants, tossing them on the bed. He snatched them up and through them on just a quickly and violently as he had his shirt.

"Sas…" she started again

"You need to stay away from me." He ground out in a strangled whisper.

Payson shrank back from the vitriol in his tone, he was furious. Grabbing her dress off the floor she pulled it over her head. He was still standing on the other side of the bed eyeing her, the door, and the distance between as though trying to figure out a complex math problem. She realized that his response had lessened her resolve to hash things out he didn't seem to be making a move, it looked like she would have to be the first to exit this little party. Turning to pick up her shoes from last night, she walked towards the door, but just like earlier in the bathroom her hand hovered above it. She turned to find Sasha staring intently at her.

"I am sorry for what happened, I'm sorry that you are angry with me and I'm… I'm just sorry and I hope one day you can forgive me." She sucked back the tears and squared her shoulders and opened the door; a hand slammed past her face and shut it again.

"You have nothing for which to apologize. This, all of this, is my fault. I have failed you. I made you …"

"No you didn't Sasha. You can't possibly think that this is all your fault. You don't get to take the blame for everything. Yes, this happened but it is not just your fault."

"I took your virginity from you!" He exclaimed. "It didn't belong to me, I didn't deserve it, but yet I took it from you anyway…I stole it from you. What kind of a monster does that make me? What kind of a man…" he trailed off.

"You didn't take anything!" She said pushing her hand into his chest. "You didn't steal it!" She pushed him again. Maybe physicality would help it sink in, "It was mine to give and I gave it to you because…" she trailed off, "because I wanted too…. I wanted to, and you don't get to take that decision away from me."

"I am the adult. I should have known better. You were drinking the responsibility fell to me, and I failed you." He whispered

"You were drinking too," she protested.

"But I should have known better," he stressed, raising his voice a little, "I should have protected you from myself. Nothing changes the fact that I failed to do that, I should have said no and sent you on your way, but because I couldn't, we have ended up in this mess. Payson this is my fault, and I swear I will find some way to make it up to you.''

She shut her eyes. She really needed to get out of here and think. So much had happened, and she needed to sort through her feelings. She turned back to the door to leave, twisting her head slightly to her right she whispered, "Just please don't leave me, I wont make it if you leave again…"

"Payson…." He started. His tone held a certain resignation in it.

"No," she countered a bit more forcefully rounding on him. "You said you want to make it up to me, then keep your promise and take me to the Olympic. Stay with me and take me to the Olympics. The rest will just have to work itself out, and it will just as long as you don't leave. " The last part came out in a whisper.

"You don't know what you are asking." He said averting his eyes for a moment before raising them to stare deeply into hers, "You have no idea what you are asking me to do."

"Yes I do I'm asking you to stay. Stay with me. Stay for me. Just stay." She whispered, holding his eyes for a long minute. He let out a deep breath, and nodded his head once. She gave him a watery smile and then slipped out of the room.


So nothing is changing I am just revising the grammar and fixing some errors. The story is staying the same. After rereading this I am utterly amazed everyone didnt give up after the second paragraph long sentence. That you guys read through the mistakes and liked the story anyhow makes me love you even more. This was my first attempt at writing anything and i was so excited to post, that it basically went on the page the way it was in my head, mistakes and all. I will slowly be revising all of the chapters so that they are worthy of the magnificent people who choose to read them. Thank you again.