Katniss turned off the bathroom light and padded silently to her side of the bed. Gale was already asleep, puffs of air escaping his mouth with a slight timber. It always amazed her how quickly he could fall asleep after an argument, while her own body was still buzzing with adrenaline.
The fight tonight was an old one. Her job as an analyst at Capitol Industries was a constant source of strife between the two of them. Gale especially despised Snow, the CEO that had been in power for as long as anyone could remember. He was cold, calculating and ruthless, not to mention having a not-so-secret affair with his married head of human resources, Alma Coin.
However, even Gale couldn't deny that Snow was a shrewd business man that had led Capitol Industries to the top of the Fortune 500. As a result, the company was able to do a lot of good in the community, as well as provide thousands of jobs to ordinary citizens like Katniss.
Besides, he was so far up the chain of command that she never had to deal with him directly. She loved and respected her direct manager, Haymitch, and her close-knit group of co-workers. Several of them had actually become her good friends over the years, but Gale refused to spend any time with them socially. An invitation to her co-worker Johanna's house was actually what spurred tonight's fight.
"Honestly, Catnip, I don't know why you keep harping on this." Gale looked up at Katniss in the mirror as he rinsed his toothbrush and put it back in the cup. He folded his arms across his chest. "I've told you before, I don't want to hang out with those people. I don't want anything to do with Capitol."
Katniss had been leaning against the doorframe, but she bristled at his words, standing up straight and mirroring his posture. "Anything to do with Capitol?"
Gale groaned, running his hands through his hair. "Damn it, Katniss, do we have to do this again? You know I don't mean YOU! I'm fine with you having a job there."
"Oh, you're fine with my job!" Katniss scoffed, her arms dropping to her sides. "The job that I've had for longer than we've known each other?! That I'm damn good at?!"
Her voice was getting louder than it should at this time of night, but she was too angry to care. "The one that helps pay for this apartment AND put my sister through nursing school?! Is that the job you're fine with? How big of you, Gale!"
Gale brushed past her roughly, heading back to their bedroom. "I'm not gonna do this tonight, Katniss. I had a shitty day, and I'm not in the mood for this right now." He opened a drawer and pulled out a clean t-shirt and a pair of flannel pants before slamming it shut again.
"When are you gonna be in the mood, Gale, huh?"
Gale dressed quickly, and Katniss watched as he paced around the room aimlessly. Eventually he stopped and threw himself on the end of the bed. Leaning an elbow on his knee, he rubbed at a spot on his temple.
"Because it seems to me that you NEVER want to talk about this!" she continued. "When are you going to come clean and just admit that you hate my job?!"
"FINE!" Gale shouted, standing up, his face only inches from a stunned Katniss. ""I hate it! Okay? Are you happy?!"
She stepped back slightly and nodded, her voice leveling out. "I just want the truth."
Gale sighed, struggling to compose himself. "I detest everything about Capitol, and it kills me that you work there. I hate that you give so much of yourself to line that man's pockets. I hate that you spend ten hours - or more! – in the office most days, and then bring more work home with you."
Guiltily, Katniss glanced at her work laptop in the corner. She had no answer for that.
"And yeah, it really pisses me off that you would even ask me to spend the precious few hours we have left together socializing with those … Capitol sell-outs."
That hurt. Haymitch, Johanna, Finnick, Peeta – they were more than co-workers to her. They were her colleagues, her confidants, her allies in the corporate world. They spent more time together than with anyone else, and Gale had never even bothered to get to know them. How could he stand here and pass judgment on them?
"I'm just as much a 'Capitol sell-out' as any of them. Whatever you think of them… they're my friends."
"I thought I was your friend, too. More than a friend …" Gale shook his head and pulled her hands between his. "I love you."
Katniss looked down at their hands, feeling that strange uneasiness she felt whenever Gale started talking about feelings. "I know."
Gale released her and put his hands on his hips. "You know? Is that seriously all you have to say?" Gale laughed ruefully. "You can't even look at me." At the challenge, Katniss met his eyes, but still said nothing.
"This is bullshit. I'm going to sleep." He moved over to his side of the bed, turned down the covers and adjusted his pillows before getting in and turning his back to her.
He looked over his shoulder to where she stood mute by her side of the bed. "And if you're gonna do some more work for your 'friends', would you mind doing it in the other room? The sound of your typing really grates on me." He turned away from her and tucked the quilt up to his neck.
Katniss rolled her eyes, and shook her head. Eager to put space between them, she spun on her heel and stormed to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
The argument was just a repeat of the same fight they had week after week, separated only by long days full of silence and avoidance. Life in their household had been miserable lately, and Katniss knew they were just putting off a real discussion about their future. Gale's prejudices were unfair, and they were causing a rift between the two of them. But deep down, she knew the problems between them weren't just one sided.
She reached over to check her phone, charging on the bedside table, and saw a new notification. Apparently someone had texted her during their hour long "discussion".
Peeta M (sent 10:27 PM): Sorry to bother so late – do u have last year's final budget report?
It figured that she had gotten a work related text just as she fought with Gale on that topic. Peeta was one of her best friends at work, even though he had changed teams several months ago. She counted her blessings that the phone had been silenced when his message came in, since it probably would have just set Gale off more.
Katniss (sent 10:53 PM): Hey, you still need the report?
Peeta M (sent 10:55 PM): Yes! I was prepping for tomorrow's meeting but couldn't find it.
Katniss (sent 10:55 PM): Do you have a minute for me to boot up?
Peeta M (sent 10:56 PM): For you? All the time in the world. ;)
Katniss pulled her work laptop out of the bag by the bedside and started it up. The light from the screen glowed bright in the dark room, and Gale groaned in his sleep before turning further to face the wall. Katniss scowled. Let him complain. She ignored the stench of whiskey on his breath many nights; he could deal with the laptop light for a few minutes.
Navigating through her email folders, she found the monthly report and forwarded it to Peeta's work account.
Katniss (sent 11:09 PM): Just sent it. U should get it soon. Need anything else before I get off?
Peeta M (sent 11:11 PM): That's what she said. ;) That's all, thx!
Chuckling, Katniss shut down the laptop. She returned it to the bag and scooted back against the headboard. That was the thing she missed the most about being on Peeta's team. They had always been able to joke around and laugh together. Somehow, working with him never felt like work.
"Did you see last night's episode?" Peeta asked, rushing ahead a few steps to open the door to the meeting room.
"Of course!" Katniss replied. "That prank Jim played on Dwight was hilarious."
"Ugghh. Are you two talking about 'The Office' again?" Their co-worker Johanna barreled her way through the door ahead of Katniss, shaking her head.
Peeta chuckled as he followed Katniss in, pulling out her chair at the conference table before settling in one between her and Johanna. "Yeah, we were. You a fan?"
Johanna scoffed. "Hardly. But I always seem to catch it by accident when I want to watch 'Parks and Rec'. You two remind me of that couple – what're their names? Jim and Pat?"
"Jim and PAM," Peeta laughed.
"Whatever," Johanna dismissed. "Anyway, you two remind me of them. All your annoying little inside jokes and cutesy sayings. They're the same way on the show. It's sickening."
Katniss rolled her eyes and laughed. "Those characters are married Johanna. It's totally different."
"How is it different? He's your work husband, isn't he? Everyone around here knows it."
"Don't be ridiculous." Did people really think that? Katniss looked at Peeta, who was doodling a picture of a bird on the corner of his steno pad, a small smile on his lips. Was that a blush on his cheeks? Was he as uncomfortable with this conversation as she was?
"Oh, loosen up, Brainless. It's just an expression. We all know you're with tall, dark and moody."
Peeta looked up, the smile from before turned apologetic as he finally looked Katniss in the eye. "Jim and Pam are really just best friends who work together. That's probably why we remind you of them." Katniss smiled back at him, the awkward tension suddenly relieved.
"Sometimes the both of you are brainless," Johanna muttered as the rest of their team joined them and the meeting came to order.
Katniss smiled at the memory. Peeta always knew just what to say to make her feel better. She really missed getting to see him every day. She was grateful that Haymitch had arranged for him to help out on the sales audit and assigned the two of them to create a district-level presentation together.
Peeta M (sent 11:13 PM): Sorry again to bother you so late. I really appreciate the help.
Katniss (sent 11:14 PM): No worries. It wasn't hard at all.
Katniss (sent 11:14 PM): That's what she said. :P
Peeta M (sent 11:16 PM): You're amazing. :) Don't know what I'd do without you.
Peeta was so sweet, always ready with a kind word. She'd felt lost when he stopped working more closely with her. With him on a project, she always knew he'd help smooth out any personality clashes and bring the different work styles together to be successful. While she missed him terribly, she was sure he most definitely was getting along fine without her.
Katniss (sent 11:17 PM): Ha, yes, my talent for forwarding emails is in high demand. Or maybe it's my freakish gift for spreadsheets?
Peeta M (sent 11:18 PM): Or your good looks and sense of humor.
Peeta M (sent 11:19 PM): And of course intelligence is a turn on.
Katniss scoffed. It broke the silence in the room, and she froze as Gale shifted in his sleep before settling back down. Judging tone over texting was hard. Peeta remarking on her "good looks" threw her for a minute, but that combined with his comment on intelligence told her he was clearly still joking around with her.
Katniss (sent 11:21 PM): LOL
Peeta M (sent 11:21 PM): ?
Katniss (sent 11:22 PM): That was funny.
The phone vibrated at almost the same second she hit send.
Peeta M (sent 11:22 PM): Sorry. Ignore me. Never drink & text. :{}
Drink and text? He probably went out with Finnick for drinks after their Thursday night basketball game. She wanted to warn him not to come in too hung over to their working session Friday morning, but before she could type it out, her phone vibrated with another message.
Peeta M (sent 11:24 PM): Wait. What was funny?
Katniss (sent 11:25 PM): 'Intelligence is a turn on.' That's a good one. :)
Peeta M (sent 11:26 PM): Wasn't joking. You don't like intelligence?
She stared at the screen for a minute, mulling over his words. How could she explain the college dates that ended early when they found out she skipped two grades and was at the top of her class? The fact that even Gale thought she was an annoying know-it-all the first night they met, just because she beat the rest of the party at Trivial Pursuit? In her experience, intelligence was practically the kiss of death in the dating game; it was hardly something she'd consider an asset.
Katniss (sent 11:28 PM): Sure, *I* like it. But can't say it's been a hit with men in the past.
Peeta M (sent 11:29 PM): Then they were idiots. Intelligent women are extremely sexy.
She couldn't help but smile; it was just such a "Peeta" thing to say. His sensitive side had made him the target of jokes, especially by a few of the guys that worked security. While they stuck to the standard script of football scores and video games, he would share his opinions on the latest art exhibit, or talk your ear off about the health benefits of baking with whole wheat flour.
Katniss (sent 11:30 PM): Careful. Darius will want to 'man you up' if he hears you say that.
Peeta M (sent 11:33 PM): Good point.
Peeta M (sent 11:34 PM): Boobs. I meant to say boobs are sexy. Of course. ;)
Katniss (sent 11:35 PM): Ah, well there you go. THAT explains why the men stayed away!
Katniss cringed after hitting send. They had been doing some innocent flirting until now, but maybe joking about the size of her chest was taking it too far. He was her co-worker of course. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
Peeta M (sent 11:37 PM): Impossible. You're perfect. At least, to me.
Her fingers flew across the keypad before she could even stop herself.
Katniss (sent 11:38 PM): Well that's just because you never looked there.
Peeta M (sent 11:39 PM): Oh, I've looked there. ;)
Wait - what?
Katniss stared at the screen, fighting back a smile, too shocked to respond right away. She and Peeta had flirted a bit from time to time over the years, but it was always innocent banter. This was different. And it felt good.
As she pondered a witty response, her phone buzzed again with another message from Peeta.
Peeta M (sent 11:41 PM): So sorry. That was over the line.
Peeta M (sent 11:42 PM): I'm gonna kill Finnick. Tequila makes me talk too much.
Peeta M (sent 11:42 PM): Can you just forget I said that?
Katniss glanced around their bland bedroom, even less cozy in the dark. She had been here for several months and still hadn't added any touches of herself to the apartment. Aside from the framed photo of her and her sister at Prim's college graduation last year, she hadn't bothered to put out any personal effects. At first, she'd wanted to wait, to decide how to put her own touches on the space. And then eventually, when evening after evening saw them fighting - or worse, not speaking - she just lost all desire to try.
In all honesty, this conversation was the most interesting thing to happen in this bedroom in months.
Katniss (sent 11:45 PM): What if I don't want to forget?
Peeta M (sent 11:46 PM): Don't tease me, Everdeen.
Katniss (sent 11:47 PM): Who's teasing?
Katniss (sent 11:48 PM): Maybe it's just nice to be noticed.
Sparing one last glance over at Gale, she rolled over and faced away from him. She tucked herself under the blankets, clutching her phone like a lifeline, waiting for a response.
Peeta M (sent 11:50 PM): You're hard NOT to notice. You're smart, and kind, and funny. You're incredibly generous and loyal. And you have such a good heart. You would give your life for Prim if it came down to it.
She was stunned. Is this how he really saw her?
Peeta M (sent 11:52 PM): Not to mention you're sexy as hell and naturally beautiful. Any fool could see that.
Peeta M (sent 11:52 PM): Maybe I notice everything about you.
Peeta M (sent 11:53 PM): Maybe YOU were the one who wasn't paying attention. ;)
Did she notice Peeta? Of course she did. She'd be a fool not to.
She noticed how good he was. He always held the door for people, sometimes getting trapped for minutes on end rather than risk closing it on someone. He somehow remembered all of their co-workers' birthdays, making a point to bring in their favorite flavor of cupcake or cookies to celebrate - baked from scratch, no less. He had a way of making everyone feel good and valuable, from soon-to-retire Mags to shy, quiet Cecilia. He'd ask about their weekends, remembering the name of their cats or dogs or kids, engaging them in small talk that never felt small.
She noticed he was the first to volunteer for the annual 'Give Back to Panem' day, an attempt by Snow's PR team to improve the company's image by sending employees into the community to work for the day. He recruited Katniss to join him, eventually forming a team of fifteen other people to work at the local community center. They had cleaned up the playground, planted a garden out back, and painted a large, colorful mural in the activity room. She remembered how effortlessly he interacted with the kids there, joking with them, letting them help dig or paint, and tossing around a football when they needed a break.
And she'd be lying if she didn't admit she noticed other things, too. She noticed every time he needed a haircut, how endearing he looked when it started to curl at the ends, flopping onto his forehead. How his eyes crinkled when he smiled, and that he had a dimple only on the right side of his face. She noticed how nicely he filled out a pair of dress pants, and how broad his shoulders were. How nicely his favorite pinstripe button down matched the baby blue in his eyes.
Over the first few years of her career, she came to rely on him in ways that transcended a co-worker relationship. He was always there for her, a steady presence she could rely on. They were truly friends. Or at least, she had thought so, until he slipped out of her life recently.
"So how was your weekend?" Peeta grabbed a paper cup and made her a green tea, just the way she liked it. "Do anything exciting?"
Katniss shrugged, rubbing her lower back. "I wouldn't exactly call moving boxes up and down three flights of stairs exciting." She chuckled ruefully. "Although, I guess Gale didn't mind. He's been waiting for me to move in for weeks."
Peeta's smile froze on his face, his crestfallen eyes searching her face for just a moment before he looked away to fumble with the lid. "You – you moved in with Gale?"
"Yeah…" Her stomach clenched. Why did she suddenly feel guilty? This was exactly why she didn't tell Peeta she was moving ahead of time; she always felt badly talking to him about Gale for some reason.
"Since Prim moved to Philadelphia, I've been having trouble maintaining a place on my own while still helping her out with her student loans. And - " She shrugged. "I figured, we've been dating for over a year now. It's probably time, right?"
Peeta looked at her curiously, then busied himself with wiping up some sugar someone had spilled on the counter. "I guess. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters."
Happy? She didn't see what that had to do with anything. With Gale she felt… comfortable. Being with him, she knew just what to expect. He was safe. There was something to be said for that, even if Peeta and all his romantic notions disagreed.
Peeta looked at her now, that serious expression that always made her a little nervous, like he was looking into her soul. "You are happy, right Katniss?"
Katniss didn't want to argue, but she knew the truth: happiness was overrated. It was just a buzz word for something that didn't even exist. What people called 'happiness' was fleeting; eventually it either fades or is stolen from you. She had seen it first hand in her own parents' marriage.
She looked away, feeling exposed by his gaze, and nodded. "Mmm-hmm."
She could feel Peeta studying her for a few moments, before murmuring an unconvinced, "Okay."
A few weeks later, Haymitch sent a memo announcing Peeta's transfer to a new department. She felt the sting of karma when she realized that he had intentionally kept it from her.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, reminding her that she hadn't replied to Peeta's last message.
Peeta M (sent 11:58 PM): Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
Katniss (sent 12:00 AM): You didn't! Just wondering why you never said anything before...
Peeta M (sent 12:02 AM): I know you're with Gale, and I respect that. I just want you to be happy.
There it was again. "You are happy, right Katniss?" She wasn't sure what to make of these declarations. Apparently Peeta would sacrifice anything - even his own feelings - if only to make sure she was happy.
Peeta M (sent 12:04 AM): I would never interfere in your relationship. ButI can't stand by and let you think you're less than perfect. You are an amazing woman, and I'm so lucky to know you.
Relationship. She could hardly call what she and Gale had become a relationship. If anything, they were roommates, sharing expenses and space, but nothing more. There was certainly no evidence of love between them. Even the strong platonic love she'd felt for him once had begun to buckle under the constant tension.
Sure, he was attractive; anyone could see how handsome he was. She often got jealous when his attention was captured by another girl. And there was a time that his passionate nature positively set her on fire. She used to be turned on by watching him speak, his hands flying and voice rising with his latest diatribe.
Of course, that part of their lives had been over for months, the fire stamped out as she realized that it was a fine line between "passionate" and "angry."
She glanced over at Gale again. He had a scowl on his face even now, his anger infiltrating his dreams as well as nearly every waking moment.
Peeta M (sent 12:10 AM): You still awake?
Katniss (sent 12:11 AM): Yes, sorry! Spaced out a little there.
Peeta M (sent 12:12 AM): Was just thinking it's probably bedtime. :)
Peeta M (sent 12:13 AM): About the things I said tonight…
Katniss breathlessly watched the flashing ellipse on her phone, waiting for him to finish his thoughts. It kept flashing and then disappearing, as if he were rethinking his response. She tried to ignore the nervous flutter in her stomach, wondering if he'd take back some of his earlier comments.
Peeta M (sent 12:15 AM): Is there anything I have to apologize for?
Katniss smiled, relief flooding through her veins. She typed back "Nothing." and hit send. Her phone vibrated again a minute later.
Peeta M (sent 12:16 AM): Glad to hear that. :) See you bright and early?
Katniss (sent 12:16 AM): Yep. You better be there at 8 sharp, Mellark!
Peeta M (sent 12:17 AM): Yes ma'am. I'll even bring you a surprise. ;)
Katniss (sent 12:17 AM): Good night. :)
Peeta M (sent 12:18 AM): Good night Katniss. Sweet dreams.
Katniss put her phone back on the end table and tucked the blankets up under her chin. She was suddenly exhausted from the events of the day. Fighting with Gale sapped her of so much energy, both mental and physical.
Talking with Peeta tonight reminded her how he had always brought such a ray of sunshine into her days. Losing that daily closeness just emphasized how dark everything else was.
The next morning, Katniss rose early and decided to go for a run to clear her head.
She couldn't stop thinking about the fight with Gale, the conversation with Peeta, and the question she'd been avoiding for years now: was she making choices in her life that made her happy?
She and Gale had started out as friends with similar backgrounds: being the oldest child, losing their fathers young, and spending years caring for their families while straddling the poverty line. They became best friends over shared political views and an affinity for the same cynical, dark humor.
They spoke in the language of sarcasm for so long that Katniss started to forget what was real and what wasn't. When Gale first confessed his feelings for her, she waited for the punchline, only to be confused by the serious look in his eyes. Shocked by his admission, she just stuttered out an "Okay" before being interrupted with a sloppy kiss.
From then on, Gale started referring to her as his girlfriend. She didn't bother to correct him, deciding the label was as good as any other.
For Katniss, the best part about dating her best friend was that it never really felt like dating. She was shy and hated being the center of attention, so she was relieved not to have to deal with those awkward rituals of getting dressed up, him meeting her family at the door and bringing her flowers. Their 'dates' were usually no different than their hang-out sessions had always been: sitting in his apartment or a local diner, talking and grumbling over the sad state of the world.
Their nontraditional arrangement worked for Katniss, but lately, she could sense it was not enough for Gale. He understood her trouble with words and never pushed her to express her feelings, but she could tell it frustrated him when he said those three words and she didn't reciprocate. She just wouldn't say them back until she was 100% certain. Yes, she loved him as a friend, but she knew Gale meant more than that.
Did she love Gale romantically? Had she ever, really?
And... Gale had no right to judge her friends from the office, but he was right when he suggested she worked too much. Maybe it was time to admit that her workaholic ways weren't just dedication to her job. Yes, she was busy, her list of projects growing by the day and deadlines constantly chasing her. But deep down, she enjoyed the longer hours. Staying in the office late meant she had to spend less time with Gale, swirling in negativity.
What did it mean that she enjoyed her time at work more than her time at home?
She made her way back home, the blood pumping in her veins a reminder that she was still here, still full of life. She had many years ahead of her. Is this how she wanted to spend them?
She couldn't help but think of the conversation with Peeta last night, how he was able to make her smile more in their brief text conversation than she had in months. When had she forgotten how good it felt to smile?
When she came back, Gale was in the shower, so she started the pot of coffee for him. As she watched the carafe fill, she wondered about the morning ritual she had adopted when she moved in with him. She didn't even like coffee.
Gale came in shortly afterwards, his hair still damp, and poured himself a cup. He leaned against the counter and stared down at the steaming mug. "So…"
Katniss took a seat at the small kitchen table and motioned to the other chair. "Gale, I think it's time we have a talk."
"Hello?" Peeta poked his head into the door of the conference room. They were preparing for a presentation with Haymitch later that afternoon and needed more space than either of their cubicles would afford.
Katniss had gotten there just a moment before, and was putting down her bag when she turned to see him smiling back at her. He was wearing that blue pinstripe button down she loved so much.
Peeta nudged the door closed on his way into the room, the laptop bag on one shoulder and his hands full with two paper cups and a wax Mellark's Bakery bag.
"Peeta, you didn't have to do all this!"
He smiled as he set the cups down on the table and put the bakery bag in front of her. "Nonsense. I promised you a surprise, didn't I? Besides, I had to stop and see my dad this morning anyway, and I know you would have killed me if I visited the bakery without grabbing you a cheese bun."
She pulled a bun out of the bag and took a big bite, moaning as she savored the warm pastry. Peeta watched her with a grin. "Good?"
"Mmm!" She nodded, wiping the crumbs off her lip. "You know it is."
He stared at her, the smile frozen on his face before he seemed to remember something. "Oh – and I brought you something to go with it." He handed her one of the cups, a slight steam coming from the opening.
"What is it?" she asked, taking a small sip. She could taste cinnamon and something else – nutmeg? – with just a hint of sweetness.
"It's chai. I know you don't drink coffee, but I thought maybe you'd like to try something different than your usual green tea."
She took another sip, savoring the spiced flavor. "It's delicious. Thank you."
He shook his head dismissively and finished setting up his laptop. As he sat down he turned his chair to face her. "So, before we get started, I was hoping we could talk about last night."
Katniss put her cup down and turned her chair toward him. She clasped her hands in her lap to try to hide the shaking. "Okay."
Peeta clenched the arms of his chair. "I just wanted to apologize."
"Apologize?" Katniss frowned. What did he have to apologize for? Hadn't she already told him that she was fine?
"I know you said you were okay with everything," he began, echoing her thoughts, "but… I just felt awful after we talked. I was over the line." Katniss shook her head, but he interrupted before she could talk and rolled his chair closer to her. "No, please, hear me out. I'd been drinking, and – I said some things I shouldn't have."
He didn't mean it. She felt so foolish. She should have known better than to believe some of the nice things he'd said to her. "Ok." She cleared her throat and looked down, too embarrassed to find pity in those blue eyes. "I get it. You got sappy and said things you really didn't mean. No big deal -"
"No!" Peeta grabbed at her hands, pulling one between his and squeezing. They were warm, but clammy. "I meant it, really, I meant it all." She looked up to find him studying her face earnestly. "Every word," he insisted.
She stared at him for a minute, then looked down to where their hands were joined. Peeta followed her eyes and let go with a start. He pushed his chair back and cleared his throat. "But that's no excuse for doing what I did. You have a boyfriend. I had no right to … infringe on that."
"You didn't –" she started, but he cut her off again with a wave of his hand.
"No, I did. And I'm sorry."
She shook her head slightly. He looked so contrite, she had a feeling he wouldn't feel better until she agreed. "Fine," she said with a huff. "I accept your completely unnecessary apology." She gave him a wry smile. "Now can we get back to work?"
His shoulders sagged in relief. "Thank you, Katniss. You're one of my best friends, and we work together so well. I couldn't live with myself if I ruined that just because I couldn't control my big mouth."
He sighed and rolled his chair back up to the conference table. Katniss moved in beside him. "I was so scared things would be weird between us," he admitted. "I tossed and turned all night. I don't know why I was so nervous. I guess I thought this would be harder."
Katniss elbowed him in the ribs. "That's what she said," she replied in a low voice.
"Good one, Everdeen," he laughed out loud, all tension gone, and she felt proud in a way she couldn't explain. I did that.
They both opened up their laptop bags and started to set up. "I was thinking I could walk you through the presentation I have so far, and then we could go from there?" Peeta asked. "I wasn't able to get a projector, but you can just look on with me."
"Sure," she replied, moving closer to get a better view of his screen. She could smell his coconut shampoo and a light, musky soap. He never wore cologne in the office, she remembered, because he overheard Mags saying once that strong scents gave her migraines. As far as Katniss was concerned, he didn't need it. His natural scent was intoxicating.
"So, have any good office gossip from your side of the building?" she asked, looking for a distraction.
"Well…" He leaned in conspiratorially even though it was just the two of them. Up close, she realized how incredibly long his eyelashes were. How could she not have noticed that before? "Did you hear about Johanna?"
Katniss sat up straighter. Johanna was her good friend. If there was gossip about her, why hadn't she heard about it? "No. What about her?"
"Rumor has it she's going to be joining my team before the month's out."
"What?" She scowled at Peeta. "Are you sure?"
Peeta nodded. "Yeah, it's not so much a rumor as… well, fact. I helped her get the job."
"What?" she asked again in a small voice. She sat back, stung. Why would they keep something like this from her?
His expression softened. "I wanted to tell you sooner, but she wanted to keep it quiet until she was sure she got the job. The truth is – I stumbled on Johanna in the mail room last month. With… Haymitch."
"Yeah?" Haymitch was Johanna's boss, too. It wasn't unheard of for two employees to be in the mail room at the same time.
"Well, they weren't getting mail at the time, if you know what I mean."
"So?" she questioned. No, she did not know what he meant. Why couldn't he just say it?
"They, ah… were in direct violation of one of Snow's newer policies when I walked in."
Katniss scrunched her eyebrows together. "What new policy?"
Peeta rubbed the back of his neck. "The one he came up with after those rumors of him and Coin were first swirling around? About relationships between employees?"
She remembered Snow's ridiculous proclamation at the last all-employee meeting. Romantic relationships between members of the same team or between any two individuals in a direct managerial-subordinate role are expressly forbidden. The penalty, if caught, was immediate termination. It was ironic to the rest of the company who believed that Alma Coin, Snow's direct report, was also his mistress.
But what the hell did that have to do with Johanna and Haymitch?
"I don't get it."
Peeta smiled. "Jo was right," he admitted.
"Right about what?" she grumbled. Why did she feel like she was the last one in on the joke?
He turned a bit in his chair. "Johanna and Haymitch are … dating." Her eyes widened in shock, but he rushed forward to continue. "With the way they were carrying on, I thought it might have been pretty obvious to the rest of the team, but Jo said you wouldn't have guessed since you're so… pure."
Now she was pissed. "Pure? What the hell is that supposed to mean? What am I, a child or something?" She sat back in the chair and folded her arms against her chest. "You didn't think I was so pure last night," she muttered under her breath.
He laughed softly. "Katniss, stop." He reached out a hand to touch her forearm, but she shrugged it away. The last thing she needed after this morning was everyone laughing at her. He leaned back in his chair and smiled at her. Damn him and his stupid smiles.
"You are not pure. You're perfect. It was just Jo's way of saying that … sometimes … you aren't the first one to notice when people have feelings for each other."
Katniss shrugged. Yeah, okay, she had to admit that sometimes she was a little aloof when it came to subtle cues in the romance department. Like between Finnick and Annie, who started dating a few years ago and were now married. And how she misread Gale's feelings. And now apparently Johanna and Haymitch.
"Anyway, neither of them wants to lose their job, and they don't want to break up, so I helped Jo find something on my team."
She sighed and relaxed her arms. "That was nice of you," she said quietly. It was sweet of Peeta to think of their co-workers' happiness. Even if it meant one more bit of upheaval in her own life.
Peeta eyed her curiously. "Are you okay? If you're still upset about the 'pure' comment, I swear, she didn't mean –"
"No, no." she interrupted. "I get it. It's just … you left. And now Jo's leaving." She shrugged, trying not to pout. "I hate change."
He smiled. "I know. But it'll be okay! You and I still see each other, right?"
"Yeah." She tried to smile back at him, but it came out more like a grimace. "But not enough."
He studied her face, his eyes filled with an emotion she couldn't quite place. "Yeah. Definitely not enough," he said softly.
She shook her head. "Anyway, it's not just that. I'm just going through some changes in my personal life right now, too, that are just making this…" She sighed. "Gale and I broke up this morning."
Peeta leaned forward, a shocked expression on his face. "What?! Oh, Katniss, if it had anything to do with what I said last night –"
"No, it didn't," she said firmly. She looked away to a spot on the wall. "Well… maybe it did a little, but not in the way you think."
"What happened?" he asked.
"We'd been fighting. Again. And I just kept thinking about what you asked me when we first moved in together. And then what you mentioned again last night. About… was I happy? And the bottom line was, no, I wasn't. We weren't. And I thought, maybe it was time we did something about that."
"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "Are you okay?"
She turned back to face him. He looked more upset by her admission than she was. "Yeah, I really am. I've been just going through the motions for so long now. It's kind of freeing to think I could have a new kind of life."
"So what are you gonna do?"
"I don't know for sure. Gale offered to sleep on the couch for a while, until I can find another place. I just don't feel right making him feel like a guest in his own apartment."
He nodded, waiting for her to continue. He seemed to sense she was still processing and needed time to gather her thoughts, reminding her how much she appreciated his patient nature.
"And then... Well, I was thinking of asking Johanna if I could stay with her for a while. She's got that spare room ever since she lost her last roommate. I'm sure she could use help with the rent."
Peeta smiled. "That's a great idea."
"Ugh," she groaned. "I just realized something. If I move in with her now, there's a chance I might run into Haymitch in his underwear."
They exchanged horrified faces before breaking into a fit of laughter.
"It may be scary," he said, "but I know you'll be okay. You're so strong, and I know you can do anything you set your mind to."
Katniss smiled, grateful for his vote of confidence. "Thanks, Peeta."
He picked up his paper cup and raised it in the air. "I think this calls for a toast."
She rolled her eyes but picked up her cup as well.
"To Katniss Everdeen, queen of spreadsheets, email-er extraordinaire, and an all-around amazing person." She giggled - giggled! - and hoped the fire in her cheeks wasn't too visible.
"May this next adventure lead you to all the happiness you deserve." He moved his cup forward to tap hers but pulled it back a moment later. "Oh, and - may you never, ever, see Haymitch in his underwear."
She let out a belly laugh and tapped her cup to the side of his. "Hear, hear."
They both watched each other as they sipped their tea. They were caught in each other's gaze, neither wanting to look away first, when a knock at the door broke the spell.
"C'mon in," Peeta called, putting down his cup and pushing up his shirt sleeves.
"Just wanted to check how things were going so far," Haymitch said as he entered the room, his favorite black mug in hand.
"Oh, we're just getting ready to review the presentation now," Peeta answered. "We made a lot of progress last night, and we were just recapping."
Katniss smiled at his choice of words, knowing that she may have made "progress" last night, but it had nothing to do with the presentation.
"Sweetheart, are you okay? Your face is all red."
"Uh..." Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened and closed as she tried to think of a response. Luckily Peeta jumped in to help her.
"Oh, uh, I brought her a new tea from the bakery to try out. It's filled with spices, and I think it may have been a little too much."
Haymitch cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah? You sure it's not filled with a little something else?"
"No," Peeta laughed. "Not before 5."
"Mm-hmm." Haymitch took a sip from his mug. "Doesn't help that it's hotter than hell in these rooms with all that equipment going. Don't know you stand it."
"Well the sooner we can get back to work, the sooner we'll be able to get out of here," Katniss said. "So if you don't mind..."
"Yeah yeah, I know where I'm not needed. You'll both be coming by at noon to show me the final presentation, right?"
"Yep. See you at 12:00," Peeta affirmed.
Haymitch made his way out, pulling the door mostly shut before poking his head back in with one last comment.
"And try to remember, it's Friday. I kinda want to take off early today."
Katniss nodded. "We remember."
"Good," he answered, turning to walk away. "So make sure it isn't too long. I want you in and out quickly."
As he closed the door, Katniss and Peeta looked at each other, matching amusement in their eyes. They couldn't help but say it at the same time.
"That's what she said!"
Three months later...
"Brainless!" Johanna pounded on her bedroom door. "Quit makin' out with Blondie and get out here already. The moving trucks are here!"
Peeta nipped at that spot on her neck that he knew drove her crazy, and Katniss stifled a moan.
Her roommate knocked again."Brainless, I mean it!"
Reluctantly, Katniss started to sit up. "Coming!"
Peeta followed her, moving to suckle an earlobe. "Ohhh... me, too."
Katniss punched his bicep, trying not to laugh. "Very funny. Now come on, you were the one who volunteered us to help."
The pair slid off the bed and moved to slip their shoes - the only articles of clothing she'd let him remove today - back on.
"How was I to know they'd take me up on it? When I offered to help out last month, I never thought they'd take me seriously! I had no idea they have so few friends."
Laughing, they moved into the living room and each grabbed a few items from the pile Johanna had messily piled up by the door. "Sheesh, Jo. What the hell is in all these boxes?" Peeta asked as he struggled with a particularly awkward one.
"All kinds of stuff I took from my parents' house after they passed away. That one's my small yard equipment; hoes, rakes, spades, my ax -"
"AX?" Katniss gasped. "You've had an ax in the apartment this whole time?"
"No, Brainless, not the whole time. Don't be ridiculous. I kept it down in the basement mostly." Katniss nodded. "I'd only bring it out at appropriate times. Like Halloween."
"Wow, Jo, you must be a barrel of laughs for the trick-or-treaters," Peeta laughed.
"Jo-Jo and I share the same sentiments on trick-or-treaters," Haymitch added as he returned from a trip to the truck. "We don't give to beggars, and we don't negotiate with terrorists."
Johanna gave him a kiss and threw an arm around his waist. "And that's why we're perfect for each other."
"Aww, you guys are so cute I might vomit," Katniss replied with a smirk.
Several trips later, the truck was loaded and the couple was on their way. Johanna insisted they didn't need any help unloading since Haymitch's friends from college were going to meet them at the house.
Katniss sat on the couch, her feet up in Peeta's lap. He massaged them as she looked around at the empty bookshelves and gaps on the walls where Johanna's pictures had been removed.
"I can't believe she's really gone. Everything's changing again."
Peeta squeezed the sole of her foot. "Now don't get all weepy on me, Everdeen. We've already talked about this. Repeat after me: change can be a good thing."
"I know." Katniss smiled and straddled his lap. "Change can be a very good thing. Especially when it means more time for us. Alone."
She leaned down and kissed him, her mouth parting slightly. She gently sucked on his lower lip before tracing his tongue with the tip of hers. Peeta moaned as she moved from his mouth to his neck, alternating sucking and flicking her tongue on a trail up higher. She could feel him hard beneath her as she worked on a spot behind his ear. He groaned and weaved his fingers into her loose braid, holding her close.
"God, you two don't waste any time, do you?"
The pair sprang apart as Johanna made her way past them into the bathroom and returned with a small plastic container. "I forgot the case for my contacts. I'll need that tonight."
She turned around at the door and tossed a key ring at Katniss. "And I forgot to leave my keys. Though, if I can make a small recommendation? You might want to lock the door before you start humping like rabbits on my old couch."
With that, she turned the lock on the handle and shut the door behind her.
Katniss groaned. "I'll never live that one down at the office. Now what was it you were saying about change being good?"
Peeta smiled. "Well, I'd say me leaving your team turned out to be a pretty fortunate change."
"Oh, really?" Katniss asked. "Why's that?"
"Well," he began, his hand absently running up and down her thigh, "if I had stayed in my old role, I probably wouldn't have been picked to work on that project with you. And then I wouldn't have texted you that night. And you might not have gotten to realize how perfectly lovely I am."
Katniss laughed softly, a shiver running through her at his touch. "Is that so?"
"Yes," he continued. "And if I had stayed on your team, we never could have done this-" He pulled at her foot until she was flat on her back, carefully hovering over her. He leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her lips. "And I think that would have been a tragedy."
"You don't say?" she whispered, his mouth only inches away from her own.
"Definitely," he answered. "We'd have been a couple of star crossed lovers, Snow's cruel rules keeping us apart."
"Ah."
"So aren't you glad I left you for a little while?"
"I suppose." She reached up a bit to capture his mouth in her own. As they separated to take a breath, she reached up to touch his slightly overgrown curls.
"Though I have to say..." Her hand traced his face and moved to cup his cheek. "I think this would have happened anyway. Even if you'd stayed on my team."
He leaned into her hand, his eyes sparkling as he studied her face. "I think you might be right."
He moved to sit them up and pulled her back in his lap. "I think the only question left is... Are you happy?"
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, pouring all the emotion she was feeling into that connection point. She leaned her head on his forehead and placed a gentle kiss on his nose. "I think I can finally say... despite all my reservations in the past... and my previous insistence that it's a myth... that, yes. I am. I'm happy."
A wide smile split his face. "That's what I've been waiting to hear." He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. "Was that really so hard?"
Katniss shook her head and smiled before kissing a path up his jaw to his ear. She tugged the lobe between her teeth and whispered, "Oh, Peeta, just one more thing..."
"Yes?" he gulped.
"That's what she said."
