Does Anyone Hear Her? Does Anyone See Her?
Hawkeye strolled through the airline doors and into the busy terminal. There were so many people he could hardly see through them but his height gave him an advantage so he saw his friend before his friend saw him. He smiled and waved to his friend.
B.J. finally noticed him and gave him a big bear hug. "How's it going Hawk?"
"Fine. How are Peg and the kid?"
B.J. gave a smile. "Just fine. Here let me take your bag. You're a guest and the guest isn't allowed to do anything."
Hawkeye smiled and started to follow his buddy to the car to get to the Mill Valley's surgeon's home when he stopped a second when he thought he heard crying. He looked around and stopped B.J.
"Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"Do you hear a woman crying?"
B.J. listened a second but shook his head. "I don't hear anything. Must be jet lag. Come on."
As they walked out the airport Hawkeye could see someone leaning against a wall sobbing. The figure and platinum blonde hair looked all too familiar.
"Beej I think I just saw Margaret," said Hawkeye as he climbed into the station wagon.
"Where?"
Hawkeye pointed to the wall but no one was there. "Don't you see her?"
B.J. looked at him worriedly. "Are you sure Hawk? She's a long ways from here."
Hawkeye shook his head. "You're right." He gave his friend a comforting smile. "Come on lets go see the perfect all American family."
They spent the one-hour drive talking about old times at the 4007th. Hawkeye noticed B.J. casting him worried glances when he thought he wasn't looking and it was starting to unnerve him.
"Why do you keep glancing at me like that?" he finally snapped.
B.J. looked at him worriedly again. "Like what?"
"Like that! Like you're worried about me. There's nothing to worry about. I'm perfectly fine. I'm a healthy handsome man. Nothing is wrong with me!"
"Calm down Hawk. No one said anything's wrong with you." After a strained second he broke the silence. "You hungry?"
"I ate on the plane."
"Oh, come on none of that stuff on planes can be called a meal. Here lets get a burger. My treat."
Hawkeye just stared out the window moodily. B.J. sighed and pulled up to a drive-in. He ordered for them and got back on the road. When he got to his road he kept going. Hawkeye noticed and asked why.
"I thought we could go to the beach."
"In May?"
"We don't have to go in the water." They spent the rest of the trip in silence. When B.J. drove up to the beach Hawkeye jumped out and walked to the water. B.J. let him be for a moment before grabbing the bag that had their dinner and followed his buddy.
"Are you okay Hawk?" he asked softly as he sat down and started to set up their meal.
Hawkeye sighed and ran his hands through his salt and pepper hair. "I miss her."
B.J. rubbed his thinning moustache. "I miss her too, but at least you get to see her anytime you want."
Hawkeye nodded his head and smiled. "She's the greatest woman I know."
B.J. hesitated a second before nodding.
"I love her."
"I know. You said that the day you proposed, the day you married her, the day she had Henry, the day she had Carrie and the day she…" he cut off quickly when he realized what he was going to say.
Hawkeye didn't act like he noticed. He didn't actually. He was thinking about a day on a beach not so long ago.
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He was sitting on the sand watching the moonrise over the waves thinking. He didn't remember what he was thinking about except that it was something quite important. He could hear someone walking down the stairs from the cliff and thought it was Carrie coming to say goodnight but when he turned he could see Margaret wrapped in several blankets like shawls. He stood up surprised and helped her sit down on the wet sand.
"What are you doing Margaret? You're supposed to be in bed resting."
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B.J. could see the smile on Hawkeye's face and the faraway look in his eyes. Fearfully he tried to snap Hawkeye out of his revere but Hawkeye was too far-gone. B.J. shook his head sadly and walked slowly to his car to get his bag.
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Margaret gave Hawkeye a smile and snuggled up close and then said in a raspy voice, "I feel all calm inside. I don't know what it means but I had this intense urge to be with you." She wrapped his arm around her and whispered into his ear. "I love you."
Hawkeye had stiffened when he had heard she felt all calm inside but she didn't notice. Those were the same words his mother had said before she had passed away. He tightened his grip on her and could hear her voice getting ever softer as she kept talking to him about Henry's bright future as a doctor and Carrie's boyfriend who she thought was going to propose any day.
"Baby. Baby, stay with me here. Stay with me. Come on I love you. Stay with me please," he said as he shook her none too gently.
Margaret's eyes flew open for a second because they had been drooping and started to sob after casting off her blankets. Hawkeye wrapped his long arms around her and started to cry himself.
"I just don't want you to be sad I'm going Hawkeye." She glanced up from her hands that she had been crying into. "I want you to live a happy and long life." Her breathing started to quicken as if in pain and the tears running down her face weren't just from the sadness.
"Margaret? Margaret? What's the matter?" Hawkeye held his heavily panting wife in his arms as the pain became sharper.
As her face screwed up in pain Margaret grasped her faithful husband's arm in a vice like grip. "Promise me you won't think about the bad only the good." When he hesitated she gasped, "Promise!"
And as Margaret peacefully collapsed in his arms Hawkeye whispered with tears in his eyes, "I can't promise anything."
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B.J. watched as the tears welled up in his friend's eyes and tears welled up in his own. He should have known better than to take Hawkeye down to the beach, but the doctors had said he was fine.
Hawkeye's eyes slowly focused on the beach he was on now and started to look around frantically after looking down at his arms. "Don't you hear her? Don't you see her? She was just here! Margaret! Margaret where did you go?" He started to get up but B.J. calmly grabbed his wrist.
Hawkeye cast his eyes at B.J.'s hand and B.J. could see that they burned with insanity. "Let go. I gotta find her. She was just here. Where did she go?" He started to get up again but B.J. stuck him with a sedative and Hawkeye was soon on the ground in a crumpled heap.
B.J. sighed and lifted his buddy from the sandy ground. He brushed him off gently and started to toil to his car.
As he put Hawkeye in the car he could hear Hawkeye keep asking, "Can't you hear her? Can't you see her?"
B.J. got his bag, got in the car and started toward the San Francisco General. Whenever Hawkeye asked those questions he would softly answer to himself. "I wish I could hear her. I wish I could see her."
