A/N: Because Ben/Piper is most definitely a thing...

"You gonna ignore me forever, Milly?"

Eddie's grip tightened on the kitchen counter, his knuckles turning a ghostly shade of white from the pressure. The maddening tick of a wall clock ran through his mind in the otherwise steely silence, though the occasional shuffle of feet would accompany it.

He had almost forgotten there was someone else in the room.

"Why shouldn't I?"

Ben scoffed, striding over to face him at last. "Well, because I was under the impression we had sorted things out. If I had known otherwise, do you really think I would've come today?"

"Oh, that's so you, isn't it? Avoid all your problems until they seem to go away. Who gives a damn about the rest of us, right?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You tell me." He brushed past the boy towards the other side of the room.

"Look, is this about me bringing Piper?" Ben furrowed his eyebrows. "Because Dad said it was okay, I swear. So what if we have another -

"This isn't about the number of guests, Ben! I may not be as smart as you, but don't think I can't see what's really going on."

"What's really going on?" Bitter disbelief colored his tone as the Brit took a step closer. "Well, please, enlighten me then, because I haven't got a clue!"

Eddie shook his head, fingers clenched into a fist to keep him from exploding. "You were pining after Patricia from the moment you stepped in my school. And now you do this! You bring her twin sister along as your date! I mean, that's just low."

Ben remained quiet, fiddling with his fingers until he finally mumbled, "She has a name, you know..."

"What?" Eddie's head snapped up, eyebrows knit together in confusion as he peered closer at him.

"I'm talking about Piper!"

"I knew who you meant," His lips curved into a devilish smirk, "I was more wondering why, that's all..."

Ben could feel himself tense under his brother's expectant gaze, his palms becoming sweaty and throat tight. He cleared it quickly before continuing. "I was, uh, just saying that Piper is her own person... like you and I, right, Milly? You know, she isn't just Patricia's twin, she's - "

"A girl that's got you completely whipped!"

"Shut it!"

Eddie rolled his eyes, his elbows leaning onto the counter behind him as he fixed the boy with a bemused stare.

This was perfect blackmail material.

"Look," Ben lowered his voice, glancing briefly towards the other room to ensure no one was listening in. "You can't tell Piper, alright? At least not yet. And don't even think about bringing Patricia into this."

His face paled at the mere thought of it. "Yeah, don't worry. I'm stupid enough to do that..."

"Do what?"

Both heads whipped around to see Patricia standing in the doorway, a scowl slanted across her lips as she made her way over to the far counter, rummaging through the highest cabinet to bring out more food for the spread.

"Oh, uh, nothing! Nothing! We were just talking about cars... sports... You know, guy stuff."

She paused to cast a disbelieving look towards the pair, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards into a smirk. "If this is some weird sibling bonding thing, I'm not going to run and tell Sweetie you two were getting all sentimental..."

Eddie scoffed. "Thanks, Yacker. But no, it wasn't that."

"Yeah, whatever."

The American cast a mischievous look in Ben's direction before clearing his throat. "Anyways, Patricia..."

"Yeah?"

He ignored the angered glare coming from his brother and continued. "How's Piper doing lately?"

"What?" She sputtered out a laugh. "How would I know? This is the first time I've seen her in months."

"So I take it your twin telepathy isn't working these days?"

Patricia narrowed her eyes, turning towards Ben with the smallest of smirks curving onto her lips. "Your brother's an idiot, you know? There was a time when Krueger over there couldn't even tell us apart."

"Hey, that's not true!"

She rolled her eyes. "Course it is! Or would you care to give me another explanation of why you kissed Piper?"

"Wait. He kissed Piper?!"

Ben's voice was lost in the conversation that ensued between the young couple.

"Oh, come on, Patricia! We've been over this like twenty times. It was an honest mistake. I said I was sorry!"

"You Doofus." She grinned affectionately at the American. "I'm not getting into this again! I'm not even mad, either."

He let out a sigh of relief before returning to his usual impish smirk. "Good. Although technically, I don't think you should've been mad to begin with."

The icy glare shot in his direction was enough to shut him up.

Patricia started to search through the cabinet again and grinned contentedly upon finding what she needed. "Anyway, I should probably get back to Piper before her and Sweetie run out of classical composers to talk about. You two have fun bonding or whatever."

Her boots made a distinct clicking noise as she retreated into the other room, leaving an uncomfortable silence in her wake.

"So... you and Piper kissed, yeah?"

Eddie's face darkened, his eyes growing wide at the revelation of what he and Patricia had just revealed.

"Yes, but - "

Ben shook his head in disgust.

"And after all this grief you've given me about Patricia, you're the one who's really the concern."

"Wait, Ben - "

"Just save it, Edison. I don't want to hear it tonight."

He paused a moment to let the words sink in, allowing the tentative silence to engulf them both and fill the room with an unbearable sense of dread.

When Eddie finally did speak his voice was quiet and pleading, his eyes trying to meet a gaze that refused to do the same.

"Please, Benj, just hear me out. Trust me on this, okay?"

"I don't know how much of that I can do anymore."

Eddie broke into a grin despite himself. "All this because I accidentally kissed Piper? Look, I know you're upset, but this seems a little extreme."

"God, can't you see, Milly? I'm not mad because you kissed Piper! It's - "

"Let me guess. It's because I didn't tell you. Believe me, I've heard that one before."

"No! That's not it at all!" Ben threw his hands up in frustration. "Can't you take anything seriously?"

Eddie scoffed. "You know what? I think I'm taking this way too seriously. Yes, I did kiss Piper, but I thought she was Patricia! You can't say the same about hitting on my girlfriend last term. That was entirely intentional!"

"Oh would you get off that, already! I couldn't help that she liked spending time with me! And when you confronted me about it, I backed off."

"Well, clearly you haven't!"

Ben's eyes were dangerously dark as he peered up at the boy, his breaths coming slow and heavy, his voice hanging on the edge of losing all control. "What exactly are you trying to say, Milly?"

"I'm saying..." Eddie swallowed, realizing that, perhaps, he had gone too far, though there was no way to take it back now. "I'm saying that the only reason you like Piper, the only reason you even bothered to bring her today was because you couldn't win over Patricia. And this is just your twisted way of getting back at me now!"

"Oh, you bastard."

"What?"

Eddie followed his brother's gaze to the door and saw a tuft of red hair sticking out from behind it. His eyes clenched shut with frustration. "This really isn't a good time, Patricia!"

Ben let out a strangled laugh, shaking his head at the utter stupidity of it all. "She did say you were bad at telling them apart."

"What are you..."

The Brit pushed past him and out the door, never stopping to explain himself.

But before Eddie could even process what had happened, he heard the distant sound of footsteps approaching and soon a breathless and completely bewildered Patricia stood facing him.

"Eddie, what the hell just happened in here?"

He resisted the urge to outwardly groan. The last thing he wanted now was to relive the past five minutes. And Patricia had been standing right there, anyway. She should've already known.

"Couldn't you hear us?"

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "How would you expect me to hear you from the other room, Doofus? All I saw was Piper running out, but she looked really upset."

"Hold on..." Eddie's gaze sharpened, his heartbeat quickening as his mind began to connect the dots. "That wasn't you standing by the door?"

"What? No... I just said I was in the other room with Sweetie." She narrowed her eyes. "Eddie... what the hell did you say to Piper?"

Shit.

A/N: Be sure to check out the Ben/Piper that TrixieKrueger and MusicalWheaten publish today in order to get the full, life ruining experience :) And let me know what you thought of this fic itself. Thanks for reading and remember to review!