AUTHORS NOTE

So this is my first published Fanfic hope you like it, im really sorry if there appears any spelling mistakes (which probably will)

Anyway enjoy the story

and maybe even write a review *wink wink*

This story is pretty OOC but I hope you'll still like it. Contains minored swearing

okay I'll leave you now :DD

remember to review ;)

with Love

STARFISHSEASON

Drifting

There are some friendships that we remember forever. These are the friendships that were formed when we were children. The quality of sharing is not the same as in adult friendships. However, in a certain way the friendship has a deeper quality. It probably lacked that drama and intensity that is shared in adult friendships. At the same time there is a certain carefree quality between that exists between two young children at play. They don't ask themselves complicated questions like whether they have enough in common. It is enough that they are two kids and that there is playing to be done.

Childhood Friend by Family Friend Poems / CC BY 3.0

Effy PoV

At first I thought it was just a phrase

That it would go over quickly and soon we would be back to normal, like always,

Me and Naomi, we only knew the true you,

You still didn't know me, but you let it pass with a Effy just isn't that open.

Maybe I shoul've been more open with you. Maybe if I had told you more, we would still be friends.

I decided to give you some time, use the rubber-band technique.

I hated clingy people and I didn't want to become one.

So I just let you be.

We started drifting apart.

We didn't go on walks like we used to,

I still miss that,

Nowdays I walk alone.

At first me and Naomi still stayed strong.

We started a new hobby I wanted to be spontaneous and she wanted to try new things

We went out all the time, had fun and we talked, talked more than we ever had, due to the fact that Panda wasn't there talking about her life.

I loved that time. When I was with you I didn't feel paranoid about Pandora.

I still thought that she'll come back as if nothing ever happened.

Like she always did

I gave it a few months, I was sure that after the "honeymoon phase" with Emily and Karen she'd be bored. They didn't know her like we did.

I had hope and I waited

But I was wrong

Then you took Naomi with you.

It didn't happen slowly, just one day she wasn't there.

She quit our hobbies and didn't talk to me.

You stopped sitting beside me.

We didn't discuss anything except for school.

Hell, you even got a new boyfriend and didn't tell anything to me. Not that I'd be bothered about that,

it was the fact that I heard it from them.

Because now you wouldn't tell anything to boring and miserable old Effy

You had other people now

I was scared, but I still managed to have that tiny ounce of hope

"They'll be back, they'll be back" I told myself all the time

And it helped

At first

But not anymore.

Im alone, more alone that I have ever been,

I like to be a lone, it's a part of me, and I love it,

But this is differen't. Because I know, that you'll not be back anymore

I hate weakness,

but now I am weak,

does it mean that I hate myself?

Probably,

I really don't know.

I've always read stories about childhood friendhips that were broken, kaput, blown away

but we, I thought that we would stay together

.We talked about getting an apartment together, Becoming each other's bridesmaids. We planned our whole future together

And it took two months to tear eight years worth of friendship down

Maybe it's not only the friendship that is Drifting apart, maybe it's me

I stay awake at night, wondering the what ifs that I oh so adore

But I've reached the point of numbness.

There where it comes to a strict end because truly, I don't know who I am anymore

"Effy, is everything allright?"

"Yeah,sure just fucking fantastic, as always"

"No Im serious, you don't smile anymore, you give out nothing, sometimes I'm not even sure that you're alive Effy"

"Effy can you hear me?"

"Seriously, im fine. You're overreacting you wanker"

"If you say so, anyway I've got to go meet sid, The fuckers got himself in some trouble again, Call me"

He left my room.

I wanted to call for him , wanted for him to come back, hug me and say it's all going to be okay.

but it's not

and it never will be anymore

at least

because those were the only two people aside from tony who made me let my guard down

They did this to me

and now look at me,

I've turned into something I despise

Weak

Weakweakweak

I fucking hate my self.

Its my fault

and now it's lost,

This is the end