Obedience
By Woode Seren
He dreams of Elizabeth.
Every night, as soon as he closes his eyes for what refuge sleep offers she is there, sometimes smiling, sometimes not. She says nothing but watches him quietly with knowing eyes that trace the winding path his life has led. They are not comforting dreams because he has the guilty suspicion that she knows his innermost thoughts, that she has carefully considered them and finding nothing worthy of her, has tossed them to the tide. He wakes in a cold sweat, dark hair plastered untidily to his face.
Because Elizabeth is everywhere. She haunts him though he cannot say for certain where she is, or, though it pains him to even think it, whether or not she is even alive. He condemned her, though he hoped to save her. Better mad with the rest of the world than sane alone.
His thoughts weave a wicked web around his days, guilt, disgust, shame. When Becket orders him aboard the Dutchmen he obeys (it's what he does) and keeps his silence when he learns the evil truth of the heart he stole. He hides behind the mask of his elaborate costume as he always has, emotion having never led him to anything but harm. James has long known that his feelings were best buried beneath brocade and white.
His love has long since been laid to ruin about him but if she calls for him he will go. It's what he does. After all this time he loves her still.
.
.
.
Authors Note: I hope some of you miss James as much as I do. As much fun as writing The Siren's Vow can be at times I don't think I will ever love a Pirates character as much as I love James. He's so noble and conflicted that I just want to give the guy a hug. Someday I'm going to write an AU oneshot where everything turns out great for poor James. Take that Disney!
As always thank you for reading! Constructive comments and criticism are always welcome!
The title comes from a deleted scene in AWE. Another quote is from DMC. As always I own nothing!
