But, I Traveled First!
By Jamie Panko
[Lights turn on. In the center of the stage there sits twelve white chairs in two rows facing stage left with a chalkboard in the front. Rose enters, sobbing, with Martha who is helping Rose walk.]
R: B-But he was going to say it! I'm never goin' to see him again. We were supposed to be together forever! He left me with someone else!
M: There, There. Neither of you planned this. I'm sure you'll see him again one day. Now, let's take our seats and see why we came here, alright?
[They move over to chairs and take seats in front row]
[Donna enters from left, obviously confused by all this, and moves towards R and M]
D: Excuse me, did you also get ask to come here? I got some letter or somethin'.
[Donna holds up blue envelope]
M/R: DONNA!
[Both girls jump from their seats and embrace Donna]
[Donna shrinks away in surprise]
D: Do I know you two? I'm sorry, but I've never seen either of you before.
[Rose and Martha look at each other, shrug, and take their seats again]
[Donna sits behind Rose]
[Amy and River enter, both women seeming nervous]
[Both are whispering to each other]
A: Are you sure this is a good idea? So many things could happen if we go through with this.
Rv: Well, they're already here aren't they? What would be the point of sending them home? One belongs in another universe, one can't remember a thing, and both of us are dead!
A: Shhhh! Anyway, I guess there is no turning back now. [sighs] We have no choice. Go ahead…
[River heads to front of "room" and stands right in front of chalkboard]
Rv: Hello ladies! I'm sure you are all wondering why you were invited here today
[River holds up blue envelope]
Rv: I sent all of you invitations. Now, we should start in a few minutes as soon as our last guest decides to show up.
[Right on cue, Clara barges into room loudly, making everyone turn around]
[Clara was running so fast she can hardly talk]
C: Sorry, I was with - and I lost track of – and he – anyway, I'm here!
Rv: That's alright Love, just take a seat.
Rv: Now, I think most of you…well, three of you have met me before. But only two of you know who I am. I'm Professor River Song. I know the Doctor.
[River worriedly looks at Donna]
Rv: Donna is your head feeling alright?
D: Um, yeah. I feel fine.
Rv: Well, just for precaution…
[River moves over to Donna and sticks big headphones and a blindfold on her]
[River lifts up one side of the headphones and shouts into Donna's ear]
Rv: Don't freak out! It's for your own good!
Rv: [Claps hand together] Now then. The reason you are here. Each one of you is someone who traveled with the Doctor at some point or another.
[Everyone looks around in surprise]
Rv: Hard to believe, I see. What may be hardest to believe is that I am the Doctor's wife.
[Rose breaks out in more sobs and Martha tries to comfort her]
[Martha turns to talk to River]
M: This is Rose. She's recently lost the Doctor
Rv: I see.
[River bends down to Rose]
Rv: I've lost the Doctor, too. So many times... He's lost me, too. But you have to remember that he is never going to be alone. There will always be someone else he'll find to travel with.
[River glances at Clara and Clara turns away, feeling uncomfortable while seeing all the pain the previous companions are going through]
[River stands up and whistles to get everyone's attention]
Rv: Maybe we should just start with names, how does that sound? We can pull our chairs out so we can all see each other. Let's do it in the order you traveled.
[Everyone follows River's orders]
R: Um, I guess I was first. I'm Rose. Rose Tyler.
M: I'm Martha Smith. Most of you know me as Martha Jones.
[Martha yells into Donna's ear]
M: TELL US YOUR NAME!
D: DONNA TEMPLE-NOBLE!
A: I'm Amy Pond, and that's my daughter over there
[As Amy points to River, everyone gasps in shock]
C: I'm Clara Oswald…the current "companion". [Clara turns to Amy] And you're kiddin' right? It seems that Professor Song could be your mum!
A: It's a long, complicated story…
R: So um, Clara. Is the Doctor okay? I haven't seen him since he was travelin' with Donna over there.
[Donna hears her name through the headphones]
D: HUH?
C: [Clara blushes and bites her lip] Oh, yes. He's doing quite well. [Clara smiles a bit]
R: Oh…I see… [Rose scoffs and turns away, not able to contain her jealousy]
[Clara purses her lips, looks down at her lap, and fiddles with her bracelet]
R: That's a pretty bracelet. Where'd ya get it?
C: Uh, Um…well, the Doctor gave it to me. He bought it on the Planet of Silver while we were there. He said it was for our, "one month traveling together anniversary." [Clara smiles at these memories, but frowns once she realizes the looks of jealousy and/or hate she was getting]
Rv: Wow, someone's a lucky girl! I'm married to him and I never got a wedding ring!
Amy: [Scoffs] I've known him since I was seven and all he gave me was a bunk bed my husband and I didn't even want!
R: You're married?
M: I am, too. I married…well, your old boyfriend
R: MICKEY? W-well, I'm very happy he found someone; it's just quite a coincidence he was in a relationship with both of us.
M: Since you dropped him he was feeling pretty low. He needed somebody to take care of him.
R: I didn't "drop him"!
M: Well, he said you treated him like gunk on the bottom of a shoe!
Rv: LADIES! Now, I didn't call this meeting for you to scream at each other. This is supposed to be bonding time. What do we all have in common? We all have traveled with, and cared for the Doctor. Please, act like decent people.
[Amy shakily raises her hand]
Rv: Yes, mum?
A: I was just wondering if you wanted us to bond, then why did you invite a girl who's not allowed to see or hear us.
M: Yeah, is she okay?
[River moves towards Donna]
Rv: DONNA!
D: YEAH?!
[River goes back to her seat]
Rv: See? She's fine.
A: But why isn't she allowed to see or hear us?
R: Did something happen to her?
Rv: Her memory got erased. If she starts to remember anything related to the Doctor, her head will actually explode.
[Very loud gasps came from around the room]
D: DID SOMETHING HAPPEN? CAN I TAKE THIS THING OFF NOW? RIVER?!
Rv: You can't take it off yet, but in a little while.
D: WHAT?!
Rv: YOU CAN TAKE IT OFF IN A LITTLE WHILE!
D: Gosh, no need to shout, I'm not deaf.
C: [Rolls eyes] And you were telling us not to scream at each other…
M: Don't get sassy, teacher's pet.
C: Excuse me?
M: Well, it seems it obvious that the Doctor loves you more than he ever loved any of us, aside from River, anyway.
[Amy leans over to River and whispers]
A: Maybe this wasn't the best idea
Rv: I'm going to do something…
[River stands up]
Rv: I want all of you know to tell us how you lost contact with the Doctor. Starting with Rose.
[River sits back down and nervously bites her lip]
R: Well, I was trying to help the Doctor save the world from Daleks and I fell into a parallel universe.
M: I left him. I knew he still loved Rose, and he needed time on his own. Even though I really liked him.
[Rose looks sincerely sympathetically at Martha]
A: My husband and I were being chased by these things. Weeping Angels.
[Martha's eyes grow wide]
A: He kept getting zapped into the past so, I went with him. Technically I'm dead now.
[Rose puts her hand up to her mouth]
[River wipes away a tear rolling down her cheek]
Rv: I sacrificed myself. The Doctor wanted to give up his life to save a bunch of people who were all my friends. I tied him up and did the deed myself. Technically, I am dead as well. I'm only a ghost really. My conscious was saved to a computer database. You can only see me because I'm forcing myself to be visible.
[Amy, Rose, Clara, and Martha all clap in honor of River]
Rv: The person you should really be clapping for is right over there. [River points to Donna] She sacrificed herself and she doesn't even know it. She became part Time Lord and her head couldn't take it, so the Doctor had to wipe all her memories of her travels. I do believe she is the most heroic of us all, and she can't even remember what she did.
C: So, is something bad going to happen to me one day?
R: Nothing bad has to happen to you. Don't make the same mistakes we made.
M: Hey Clara, I'm sorry about me gettin' all mean. I guess I'm just pretty jealous. We all have already had our time with the Doctor, and now it's your turn. Plus, you seem pretty awesome!
C: I forgive you. And you're still alive, right? We can always go get lunch or something. I only travel on Wednesdays, so any other day is fine.
[Both girls nod and smile at each other]
R: I'm sorry, too, Martha
M: It was my fault.
R: You're forgiven.
[Everyone smiles at each other]
[Amy and River lean towards each other and whisper]
A: Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea
Rv: I told you!
A: No, I told you! Mothers know best!
Rv: Sure…
Rv: Now I do have something important to tell to two people in here. [River nods at Rose and Martha] The regeneration you traveled with regenerated back in 2010. I thought I might as well tell you and help you realize that even when he has a different face, he is the same wonderful man.
R: Wow, I wish I knew what he looked like…
[River pulls out picture of Eleventh Doctor from her purse and hands it to Rose]
[Rose and Martha both look at picture]
R: Wowee…He's nice looking!
C and Rv: Hey!
R: Haha, sorry.
M: Look at that chin, he could hurt someone with that!
[Whole room laughs]
D: WHAT HAPPENED? I WANT OUT OF THIS THING NOW!
[River takes back picture]
Rv: Well, he's wonderful isn't he? How about all of us go get some Dinner?
[Everyone nods, gets up, and leaves]
[They forget to get Donna so she is left protesting]
D: ARE YOU STILL THERE? DID YOU LEAVE? YOU BETTER NOT HAVE LEFT ME HERE ALONE! THIS THING IS LOCKED ON MY HEAD!
[Lights completely go out and everything is silent]
D: DAMN IT!
