I know- I'm a horrible person. I haven't updated Lighting Embers in ages and I'm already writing another fic. It just sort of happened.
I won't ask for forgiveness, though I do apologize.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto T^T
Prologue
It was spring, the flowers were blooming and the sun bathed the world in warmth.
I took a deep breath, taking in the fragrance of the flowers around me as I lay there, bleeding out in a meadow where no one could find me. I knew no one would ever think to find me here, and strangely, that thought gave me the peace I sought for so long in my life. Once, a long time ago, I graved attention and the acknowledgement of the people around me. Well, not anymore. It only took a bullet to the chest for me to realise that I never enjoyed the presence of other people, who never saw me for who I truly was- as they only saw the person they wanted me to be. And I, the fool that I was, played right in their hands.
I was more than a prodigy, a step above even the most talented genius. That's what they told me.
They conditioned me, ruled me, owned me.
Go fulfil your tasks, do as you are told and never question our rules.
Even now I remember the rules that were told to me when I was five.
Don't cry.
Don't complain.
Don't talk to strangers.
Smile.
And I followed the rules to a T, even when I felt like dying inside, even when I ripped into a pregnant woman with my knives, I held that smile on my face. The smile was what gave me my nickname in the underworld. Death's Sun. Because my smile was blinding, like the sun, and also your guaranteed death once you have seen it. It was funny, really. It even sounded like Death's Son sometimes. As long as it struck fear in my enemies hearts, it did not matter to me. I used any tool at my disposal and if even a name could be useful, I wasn't going to waste it.
I am a professional, I am the best and I never get caught.
Until today, that is.
It was supposed to be one of those easier assassinations. A civilian that held a grudge against the man that captured his wife's heart. It was supposed to be an easy kill to add to my name. A simple poison injected straight to his heart and then a symbol would be drawn on the guy's right eyelid, which, is quite hard to do when someone has his eyes opened wide in horror. An easy, painless kill and a warning for everyone who saw my mark.
I'm pretty sure that they were tracking all my kills. Why not make it easier for them? No one dares to draw a smiley-face nowadays. I had no patent on it, but I didn't need one. Drawing the smiley-face meant associating yourself with me, a killer, and no one in their right mind wanted that.
I stopped counting my kills somewhere in the fifties and that was two years ago, I think. The faces began to blur when my kill-count reached seven, when reality settled in and when panic was not an option. Panic goes together with mistakes, and mistakes are the last thing you need when your life is on the line. So I chose to forget all the faces the world would never see again. I worked hard and survived, but somewhere along the way, I think I might have left my humanity too.
It's not that important anyway. There were many awful people that were killed by me, people who this world would not miss. So what, if that's what I tell myself every night? It was something to lighten my burden and focus my mind. I did not tolerate any mistakes, not from my partners and especially not from myself.
But I digress, I was talking about how I got into this meadow.
After leaving the cooling, marked body I was ambushed by both the police and several mercenaries, some with whom I had worked with before. I recognised one of them as the disguised form of my teacher. His eyes caught mine, and I saw fear in those azure blue pools. Eiji was one of my kinder instructors and I actually liked him. To see him there, with countless people who wanted nothing but my dead body was... strange.
The grass rustled as I lifted my aching arm to brush my fingers over my heart, right next to the bullet wound.
I felt confused when there had been no wound to where I could trace the pain back to.
Back then, I hadn't understood that there were other pains that could be more devastating than any physical injury. More painful than any wound an enemy could inflict on me.
It was the first time I had felt betrayal.
It felt vaguely like that first time I got stabbed in the gut.
I almost couldn't believe it, I should not even care for one of my many teachers that 'taught' me my entire life. The way they taught me could be better described as torture than any real teaching. Even kind Eiji was no exception. Father would tell me that it was fine, that it would raise my pain tolerance. And of course I would never question daddy dearest.
I snorted. A wet, hacking cough escaped my lips as my unexpected movement caused a shift somewhere in my body, my skin painted red from the numerous bullets stuck in my arms and chest and everywhere.
It hurt so much that I wanted to laugh, because I knew it would have hurt so much more if I did not have my father's training, and to feel even the slightest amount of gratitude towards that monster disgusted me. I'd rather slit my own throat and fucking die. Well, I sighed, I was already well on my way to the latter.
After a while I calmed down enough to just relax in my last moments on earth. Surrounded by flowers and nature and the knowledge that there would be no one watching me, I felt more at peace in my final moments than I had in my whole life.
It was spring, the flowers were blooming and the sun bathed the world in warmth.
The air had something reassuring about it. The animals would not be scavenging desperately for food and the plants were as healthy as they would ever be.
I closed my eyes and let the soft breeze carry my iron-tainted scent away until all I could smell were the poppies that were scattered in the meadow, the soft grass beneath me tickled my cheeks and I lost myself in it all.
For as long as I can remember, there had always been this heaviness in my heart.
For as long as I can remember, I had been trained to kill.
And no matter how far back I search, I am pretty sure this is the first time I ever genuinely smiled.
Should I continue this?
