A/N- Just a little idea that popped into my head. I, for one, do not want Addison and Derek to divorce, but if they do, this is what I want to happen. Hope everyone enjoys it! By the way, I have a weird habit of making my story titles the names of songs. I'm too unoriginal to create my own.

no more waking up to innocence
say hello to hesitance
to everyone I meet
thanks to you, years ago
I guess I'll never know
what love means to me but, oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
but I've got a bad, bad feeling

Long Way To Happy, Pink

Long Way To Happy

"Where to, miss?"

"817 Fifth Avenue, please," Addison replied with a yawn.

The driver studied her for a moment. Her red hair was tied up, there were dark circles under her eyes, and she looked like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Long night, eh?"

She offered a smile before replying. "Yes. But that's the price you pay for saving lives."

"Doctor, huh? I went to med school before. Quit a month in. Couldn't take all the studying. Plus, all those hours don't give you much of a social life."

Addison couldn't help but chuckle. "That's true. I couldn't even tell you the last time I got a goodnight's sleep, or a decent shower. But I'm not bothered by it. All part of the job."

"Well, I sure hope you have a husband that takes care of you," the driver said as he stopped the cab. "Here we are, miss."

Addison reached into her pocket and produced several bills. "Here you go. Keep the change."

"Nice talkin' to you. Take care of yourself."

"You too. Thanks."

---------

Addison didn't even bother to change into pajamas as she slipped into bed. I sure hope you have a husband that takes care of you immediately raced through her mind without warning. If he had only knew. It had been two months since Addison had found out about Derek's little "episode" at the prom. Two months since she had signed the divorce papers and left Seattle. Two months without seeing her husband, or in this case, ex-husband.

She tried not to think about him. During the day, she threw herself into her work. Nothing seemed to bother her there. She knew it was unhealthy, but she hardly ever left the hospital. Because at home, there was always the reminder of him. His clothes were still in the drawers, his pictures still hung on the walls, his shampoo was still in the bathroom. Addison didn't have the heart to get rid of anything that had once belonged to him.

She let herself wonder about his relationship with Meredith. Were they together? Had he went back to her as soon as Addison had left? Addison couldn't bear the thought of him celebrating her departure. When she had left, he had tried to stop her. Told her that he was sorry, that he had made a mistake, and that he still loved her. But by that point, Addison had given up. She had been strong for six months, and that had been her breaking point. She was only human, after all.

When she let herself think about him, she wasn't sure whether to cry or to smile. But she did know one thing: she still loved him, despite all the backstabbing, all the lying, and all the cheating. And as much as she wanted to hate him for what he had done to her, she couldn't. Addison didn't think it was possible.


"And our baby will be okay, Dr. Montgomery?"

Addison smiled and gave her patient's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Your baby will be fine, I can promise you that."

Her patient sighed in relief. This, in Addison's opinion, was the best part of the job: delivering the good news. Telling a patient that they would live. Or handing a newborn baby to its mother. It had to be the best feeling in the world.

Addison excused herself and quickly made her way to the elevator. She had surgery in an hour, and she wanted to get some sleep beforehand.

As she made her way to an empty on-call room, she felt someone grab her wrist.

"What the-" Addison stopped when she saw it was Mark.

"Jesus, Mark. You scared me."

"Sorry, Addie." He smiled, and Addison couldn't help but grin.

"I know you have surgery soon, but I just wanted to run this by you. If you're not doing anything after your shift ends tonight, would you like to go to dinner? Italian, Japanese, anything you want."

She looked down at her feet. She loved Mark, she really did. He cared about her, for one thing. He looked out for her, and he made time for her, something that Derek had never did. But she wasn't ready for a relationship. It wasn't like Mark was pushing her into anything, because he wasn't. He was just waiting for her.

"You know I'd love to, Mark, but maybe another night. I'm exhausted, and it's only noon. I was planning on staying home tonight."

"Well, how about I order a pizza? We can even rent those chick flick movies you like so much. How about it?"

Addison looked into his pleading eyes. He wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to be near her. And Addison missed that feeling of being loved and wanted. What was she doing?

"I'd love to, Mark. How does 8:30 sound?"

---------

"Yes, two large pizzas. One plain, one anchovy." She grimaced. Mark had always had a thing for anchovies.

She hung up the phone and checked her watch. For some strange reason, she was actually looking forward to spending some time with Mark. As she settled into a chair, she couldn't help but sigh. It was nice to be back in her apartment. She had a working toilet, as well as a decent-sized kitchen. And the best part of all, she had closet space. Tons of closet space.

Addison was broken out of her reverie by a knock at the door. Thinking it was Mark, Addison jogged and pulled it open.

"You're ten minutes early, but that's-"

She stopped. It wasn't Mark.

It was Derek.