Oops, look at that. Becky wrote something! Of course instead of working on and completing some of my WIPs I started a whole new multi-chapter story.

Got this idea back sometime last December or January. I was reading through the Star Wars novelizations and came across this little quote and my brain went full stop, and said "OMG what would things have been like if that's how the prequels went?"

And thus this wonderful Rebellion Leader Padme Amidala AU was born!

I've been picking at it and working on it since then. I have the beginning done. I have the ending done. And I have most of the middle bits I want to happen planned out. So I might actually finish this one. It's been competing for attention with another Star Wars AU my brain cooked up in my nervous pre-first-day-at-a-new-job-insomnia back in March. I'll get around to posting that one eventually too.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this! At least somewhat as much as I've enjoyed writing and "researching' for it. (And by researching, I mean just rewatching all of Clone Wars and Rebels)

As always, Read, Review, and Enjoy!

-The Beckster


"When your father left, he didn't know your mother was pregnant. Your mother and I knew he would find out eventually, but we wanted to keep you both as safe as possible, for as long as possible."

-Obi-Wan Kenobi, Return of the Jedi novelization

Dust and Ashes

Chapter 1

Anakin started awake in a cold sweat. His heart pounding, he buried his face in his shaking hands. That dream... that nightmare. It was awful. He dug his palms into his eyes, trying to press out the vision. He didn't want to see that anymore. He couldn't see Padmé's body lying there, a blaster hole clear through her chest. He couldn't see her crumpled on the floor, not breathing, her neck heavily bruised. He couldn't look at the shocked, pained expression on her face when a lightsaber cut through her heart. He couldn't watch any of the many ways Padmé could die.

Why? Why was he seeing visions of Padmé's death? She was safe, healthy, and well protected on Coruscant. He had just seen her a few weeks ago, nothing could have happened – he would know. Nothing had changed, right?

Anakin growled in frustration. He wouldn't know if something had happened to Padmé, not immediately at least. He and Obi-Wan were on another indeterminately long string of missions in the Outer Rim. Who knew when they'd be sent back to Coruscant, it could be months! And it wasn't like he and Padmé had direct communication either. A Jedi and a Senator with a private com-line… that wouldn't be the least bit suspicious.

He was tired of all this hiding!

Anakin wanted to just shake off his worries as nothing more than a bad dream, but he knew it wasn't just a nightmare. It was a vision brought to him by the Force. Like he had before his mother...

No! Not again!

His thoughts turned to the final vision he had, the most vivid one. The lightsaber. It had been blue, like his own, like Obi-Wan's, like so many other Jedi's. They couldn't possibly hurt Padmé, or kill her.

Could they?

XXXXX

Padmé frowned as she swallowed a rising wave of nausea. She studied her senate pod screen intently, hiding her discomfort. She'd been feeling ill all day after waking up early from a strange nightmare – she couldn't remember it, but Anakin had been involved. It seemed she had caught that stomach bug that was making its way through the Senate. Padmé's stomach churned. She was glad she hadn't been able to eat breakfast this morning or else it would certainly be making a reappearance. She would definitely see a med droid after this and get some medicine. She didn't have time to be sick.

Fortunately, the Senate building had a small clinic with a handful of med droids, should a senator or other visiting dignitary fall ill. Padmé requested one to be sent to her office as soon as the session ended and it was waiting for her when she got there.

"Good afternoon, Senator, I am MD-108 at your service. How may I assist you today?" it greeted her in a cool, professional voice.

"I just need some anti-nausea medicine. I think I've caught the stomach bug that's been going around recently," Padmé explained as she sat across from the hovering droid. She sat compliantly as it took her temperature, pulse, blood pressure, and other vitals.

"Of course, Senator, that virus has been bothering many humans in recent weeks. Though I must ask, is there a chance you might be pregnant?" The med droid reached into one of its many compartments with one of its many arms, pulling out a small pill dispenser.

"No, of course not." Padmé shook her head. This was not a surprising question; every med droid and every doctor always asked, one of the joys of being a woman.

"Of course, Senator." The med droid handed Padmé the pill dispenser. "Take one pill as needed, but do not exceed eight pills per day. The virus should clear up within a few days. If you are still experiencing symptoms after seven days, please seek further medical attention."

Padmé thanked the med droid, and without further ado it hovered out of her office. She immediately took one of the pills. It dissolved on her tongue and left a bitter taste in her mouth, she chased it with a small sip of water.

Padmé looked at her schedule, she had a couple free hours for a mid-day break, but she really couldn't afford to take the rest of the day off. She'd have to see how well the medicine worked. With a small sigh, she lay down on her couch and closed her eyes, waiting to feel better.

Her mind kept going back to the med droid asking if she was pregnant. It was unlikely, but not entirely impossible. Anakin had been home just a few weeks ago, and she had missed her period. Though, that wasn't a cause for concern. Padmé's cycle had always been irregular; she often missed one or two at a time. And the nausea, that was most likely due to the stomach bug. She had been to a large senate dinner a few days back, and several of the senators there came down with the same bug. On top of that, she and Anakin had always been painstakingly careful. A surprise pregnancy was definitely not something either of the wanted to deal with. Not to mention she always felt a little sick when Anakin was off planet – worry would do that.

No, she wasn't pregnant. She had been through this song and dance before. She'd experienced the ups and downs of worrying and wondering, the fear and excitement fighting in her heart. She had several scares when she and Anakin had first been married, rushing for a test if she was a day late or felt a little queasy. They always came back negative. She knew better by now.

XXXXX

Padmé waited anxiously in the shadows, hiding behind one of the massive columns of the Senate Building's landing platforms. She couldn't wait to see Anakin. He'd only been gone about eight weeks, but it felt like an age. On top of that, he had just finished storming Grevious' flag ship to rescue Chancellor Palpatine. She had to see for herself that he was alright. Being married to a war hero was not easy on her nerves; he got sent into all the most dangerous missions.

She watched Anakin quietly excuse himself from the gaggle of senators who had swarmed him to congratulate him on his daring rescue and to dote over the Supreme Chancellor. He ran to her and swept her up in a tight embrace.

"I'm so happy to see you're alright," he whispered, reluctantly letting her go.

Padmé laughed lightly, once. "Why wouldn't I be alright? I'm not the one running headlong into battle every day." She reached up to cup Anakin's face in her hands. Some of his tension melted away into a small smile as he leaned into her touch.

"It's nothing. I've just been having persistent nightmares recently, that's all."

"Ah, I see." Padmé pulled Anakin down for a quick kiss. "I know you have to go see the Jedi Council, and I have to go see the Chancellor. But tonight, we'll see if I can't chase those nightmares away, okay? I love you."

"I love you too." Anakin reluctantly pulled away from his wife. The Council would be waiting on him, and the sooner he got that over with the sooner he could go home.

Padmé watched him go. She wasn't sure if she should tell him she might be pregnant. After all it was still so early, and it hadn't been officially confirmed yet. And with the end of the war within reach, maybe she should wait a little longer. Anakin couldn't afford to lose his focus, and who knew how he would take the news.

No it probably would be best to wait. It would be a nice surprise after the end of the war. After all, she and the baby weren't going anywhere.

XXXXX

Padmé was scared for Anakin, terrified. In the short time he had been home after rescuing Palpatine he had changed. It was like he was a different person sometimes. His temper was always close to boiling, he was stressed, he was shutting people out. He was shutting Padmé out.

It was his nightmares, the ones of her death. He said they were just like the ones he had about his mother, but beyond that, he wouldn't talk about them. He wasn't sleeping much anymore either. Padmé could feel him tossing and turning all night.

She tried to get him to talk about it, with her, with Obi-Wan, with Master Yoda. Anakin refused, talking about that was too close to revealing their secrets. Padmé privately thought it was worth it if it would help Anakin. She tried getting him to talk to a med droid, or one of the healers at the Temple to see if they could help him sleep. He refused that too.

Padmé could see Anakin was nearing his breaking point, and she was helpless to stop that from happening.

How could she convince Anakin that his visions of her deaths were just bad dreams, that they weren't going to come true, when she couldn't know for certain? Her life had been in danger many times during the war, and she had many dangerous enemies. And … Anakin's visions about his mother had been true, who could say that his visions about Padmé weren't true?

But Padmé couldn't live the rest of her life on edge, waiting for her imminent death to strike at any given moment. She wouldn't resign herself to an inevitable end. She couldn't live like that, it would drive her mad. It was already driving Anakin mad.

These thoughts flooded her mind as she paced and watched from her veranda. Smoke had begun to rise from the Jedi Temple. The orange glow of flames lit the night sky. Were the Jedi under attack? Was it another bombing? Who would dare attack the Temple? Was Anakin alright?

Steeling herself, Padmé made a decision. She had to help. She had to help the Jedi. There were younglings and elders in the Temple, if she could get some out and to safety… she had to try!

Padmé turned quickly; ready to march down to her speeder, but her apartment doors opened before she could move more than a step. Captain Typho and several security officers stepped in.

"Apologies, M'Lady, but we are under a state of emergency. The Jedi have rebelled at the Temple and the Supreme Chancellor was attacked in his office. For your protection, you must stay in your apartments."

"The Chancellor was attacked? By whom?"

"By Jedi, M'Lady."

"That doesn't make sense." Padmé was stunned. The Jedi served the Republic, Democracy. There was no way they would attack the Chancellor or start a rebellion from the Temple.

"That is the report coming from the Chancellor's office. No other parties have spoken up yet."

"Captain, there are younglings and elders in the Temple, surely they're safe."

"I'm afraid I cannot say. Clone troopers have quarantined the Temple. Nobody goes in or out. Though I'm certain the younglings are not being held in suspicion of rebellion."

Padmé turned away from Typho, her eyes returning to the smoldering Temple. The air space around it was clear of all speeders; nothing approached, nothing left. There weren't even emergency vehicles around to fight the flames. Then her gaze moved over to the Senate building; there was an unusual amount of traffic swarming around it for the hour.

"This is highly disturbing, Captain."

"Indeed it is, M'Lady," Typho agreed, gravely. He was clearly suspicious of the current events as well.

"Thank you for the information, Captain. You may leave me."

"If you'll excuse me, Senator, I want guards posted in your apartment and outside your door."

"Guards outside my door will be adequate, Captain." Typho gave her a meaningful look, she knew that look. "I have no means of escape up here, Captain. I will not leave without an escort, I promise."

"As you wish, M'Lady," Typho gave a short bow and he and his officers left the apartment. Padmé could hear him giving orders as the doors closed. She returned to the balcony, helpless but to watch the Temple burn.

It wasn't long before she saw a speeder approaching in the dark – no, not a speeder, a small Jedi fighter. Anakin! He barely made it out of the cockpit before Padmé was in his arms, holding him tight.

"Are you alright? What happened at the Temple? I can see the smoke from here. How did you escape?"

"I'm alright, I'm alright," Anakin assured her, leading her inside. "The Jedi have betrayed the Republic, Master Windu tried to assassinate the Chancellor."

"No," Padmé gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. It… it couldn't be true.

"I can't stay," Anakin muttered. "I've been given the opportunity to finally end this war. The Separatist leaders are on Mustafar, the Chancellor wants me to lead the final negotiations with them."

"Oh, Anakin, finally, an end to this war!" Padmé smiled weakly, there was light in the future. "This will be a bright day for the Republic."

"The Republic is dead, it was a poisoned institution built by the Jedi. It has fallen with the Jedi Order."

"I don't understand, Anakin, you're a Jedi."

"No, not anymore. I'm beyond the Jedi, and soon I'll have the power to save you from my nightmares, Padmé."

Her smile fell. Anakin was back on his obsession with power, his need to save her from an uncertain fate. Back into his madness. It struck fear and unease deep into Padmé's heart. When he talked like that it… it wasn't Anakin.

But once he returned from Mustafar, with the signed peace treaty and the Separatists leaders in custody, all would be well.

Anakin had to change to survive this war; Padmé understood that, even if she didn't like the person he had to be sometimes. War-Anakin was ruthless, he was cold and calculating, everything was black or white, he acted first, he acted quickly, and he had no regrets. It was a far cry from the man he truly was, but now that the war was over she would get her husband back.

Padmé pulled Anakin in for a passionate kiss. "Stay safe, come home soon."

Anakin parted with a heartfelt "I love you" then his ship disappeared into the night.

XXXXX

Padmé was not surprised when an emergency Senate session was called as soon as dawn broke. She attended dutifully, though she didn't want to be there. She hadn't slept at all that night, and she was feeling sick again. Hearing Palpatine talk about the fall of the Republic and the excising of the cancerous tumor that had been the Jedi Order didn't help her feel any better.

It just didn't make sense. She knew the Jedi, they were her friends, they cared as much for the protection of freedom and democracy as she did. Why would they attempt to assassinate Palpatine?

Yes, Palpatine had far overreached his power limit, with the majority of the Republic cheering him on all the way. He no doubt wanted the war to last as long as possible so he could remain in power. Padmé was one of many in the Senate who believed strongly that Palpatine had long overstayed his welcome as Supreme Chancellor. It was time for him to step down. She had been very vocal in her feelings on this, and she knew many Jedi felt the same. But there were proper ways to go about dethroning Palpatine, and assassination was not one of them. The Jedi knew that, why would they attempt an assassination? It didn't make sense.

A chill ran up Padmé's spine. She had openly challenged Palpatine, in person, demanding he step down from power when the war was over, threatening to take action if he did not comply. Would she be safe?

She and Palpatine had been something akin to friends once. He had been one of her strongest supporters when she was Queen, and he had been her and Naboo's advocate in the Senate when the Trade Federation laid siege to their home. That relationship had deteriorated since he became Supreme Chancellor, and even more so as Padmé began challenging his powers.

Would he consider her a threat to his new regime? Would he have her imprisoned? Anakin was close to Palpatine; he would speak on her behalf, but would his word be enough? Or would Anakin have to reveal his secret to keep his wife and unborn child safe?

These questions and uncertainties did not help Padmé feel any better.

Bail Organa slipped into her pod and sat down next to her. He looked as sick and pale as she felt.

"Where have you been?"

"I was off planet, hoping to intercept any Jedi before they walked into a trap here." He whispered tersely. "Last night I went to the Temple to help. I saw clones gunning down young padawans."

"No… that's not-"

"The clones turned on the Jedi; thousands stormed the temple. Reports from all over the galaxy are coming in. Any war zone where there was a Jedi, the clones turned on them. They executed them, and we don't know why, but the goal was to kill all of the Jedi."

"It was Palpatine," Padmé whispered faintly. "He's been providing evidence against the Jedi Order for hours. He blames them for the war, for the decline of the Republic."

"There were many things wrong with the Republic, but the Jedi were not one of them," Bail spat, glaring at Palpatine.

"I know…"

Both senators trailed off as Palpatine's speech crescendoed; clearly he was reaching the end. Bail's frown only deepened.

"Can we really let him get away with this?"

"We don't have a choice. Vocal protestors have already been forcibly removed by guards. It's comply or die."

"This makes me sick," Bail growled.

"Me too."

And finally, Palpatine declared that from the ashes of the old Republic would rise the new Galactic Empire. Padmé couldn't help but comment bitterly on the death of liberty as around her almost everyone rose to their feet cheering for Palpatine. Bail made a noise in agreement, not trusting his tongue to hold if he opened his mouth.

After a few minutes, the applause staying at a loud roar, Padmé stood up to leave. It was clear the assembly was over. "I can't take any more of this."

Bail followed suit. There were guards at her pod entrance – there were guards at every pod – that was unusual, but no doubt a regular occurrence now in the new Empire.

They were unchallenged as they went back to Padmé's office. Bail locked the door behind them.

"Can we talk freely?" he whispered.

Padmé looked around her office, up into the corners where she knew the security recorders were. All senators had the ability to disable their own in case they had personal matters to attend to. She wanted to trust her privacy would still be ensured if she disabled them, but she couldn't. "I'm afraid not." Still, she opened the security panel under her desk and keyed in the code.

Bail nodded grimly. He picked up a small datapad and wrote a message as he spoke. "I need to return to Alderaan, I should be there for my people in this time of change. I plan to leave as soon as possible." He handed Padmé his message.

Padmé took a second to read before replying. "I agree with you. This transition will go much smoother on Naboo if I am there to guide the changes."

Padmé erased Bail's note. She was considering completely wiping the pad's memory when suddenly her vision swam and she became incredibly light headed. She dropped the pad, and reached out for something to grab onto. It was crushed underfoot as she stumbled backwards into her desk and Bail rushed to brace her.

"Are you alright?" Organa asked, practically carrying her over to a chair.

Padmé took a couple seconds to respond, waiting for the room to stop spinning. "Yes, yes, I was ill last week, I'm still recovering." It was a lie, but even with the galaxy crashing down around her ears, Padmé was not about to admit she was pregnant to anyone. Not until she told Anakin first.

"Should I call for a med droid?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I'd rather just go home."

"Let me take you, I have my speeder here."

"Thank you." Padmé unsteadily got to her feet. Her head was no longer spinning, but she felt weak and shaky.

Bail hovered close as they left Padmé's office. He kept one hand on Padmé's arm, bracing her, ready to support her if she felt faint again. The hallways were active, people finally left the assembly, but they went unbothered until they reached the speeder bay. Senate guards stopped them as they neared the doors.

"Where are you going?" they challenged.

"Senator Amidala is unwell. I am escorting her home." Bail explained.

For the first time ever, Padmé hoped she looked as bad as she felt. No doubt Palpatine wanted all Senators in the building until he could be sure to weed out the loyalists from the dissenters. He wouldn't want any seeds of rebellion escaping his grasp.

"ID's please."

Bail and Padmé produced their identichips. They cleared. It was suspicious, but dwelling on it made Padmé's head spin.

"Feel better, Senator." One of the guards called after them as Bail summoned his speeder.

"Why did they let us go?" Padmé asked, as Bail steered his speeder out into the morning air of Coruscant. The fresh air helped her feel a little better.

Bail let the speeder's autopilot guide them back to Padmé's building. He twisted his goatee nervously. "I doubt it's because Palpatine trusts us. He's probably hoping we might lead him to any remaining Jedi."

"That's a risky gamble to take."

"You were friends with some Jedi. If any escaped, they might seek political asylum on friendly planets. Skywalker was your friend, wasn't he? If anyone else could survive this betrayal, I would put money on him. Have you heard from him recently?"

Padmé watched the traffic around them. Her face gave nothing away of the painful clenching in her heart whenever her thoughts turned back to her husband. "No, I haven't heard from him in weeks. Not since he rescued the Chancellor."

Why was lying about Anakin so easy to do? Had she been doing it for so long it became second nature?

The two were silent for a moment, processing their own thoughts.

"You should go home, Padmé. Return to Naboo," Organa warned grimly. "The galaxy is about to be violently ripped apart. I don't want to see you caught in the crossfire."

Padmé glared at her friend. "I still have my duty to-"

"To what? The Republic? It's gone, Padmé, it's dead. You and I might escape Palpatine's axe because we didn't put our names on the Delegation's list. But I know you have been a vocal protestor of Palpatine for the last couple years. He could come for you. So go home, protect yourself, hide away. I'll come find you again when the dust has settled."

"What about the Jedi, Bail? I can help you."

"The Jedi have been warned away from Coruscant. Masters Obi-Wan and Yoda are taking care of it. And when they're done, I can get them to safety."

Padmé slumped in her seat in defeat. Putting herself in harm's way was foolish; particularly since it wasn't just her life at risk anymore. "You're right. Naboo would be the best place to wait out this storm."

Bail nodded and the speeder turned out of traffic to approach the apartment speeder bay. "Just be careful, Padmé. Watch yourself. You never know who might be following you."

"I know how to be discreet, Bail."

Bail landed smoothly in the speeder bay. He insisted on escorting Padmé up to her apartment until a pair of her personal guards came forward. Padmé thanked him, and they parted with the promise to see each other later.

The guards dutifully escorted Padmé up to her apartment, where she locked them out. She collapsed onto her couch with a heavy sigh. C-3PO was quick to tend to her, bearing a tray of food and drink, reminding her with much concern that she had not eaten since the previous night.

All she wanted to do was chase after Anakin and take him away to Naboo; to the quiet, perfect tranquility of the lake country. Where they wouldn't have to hide, where they could be a family, where they wouldn't be slaves to this new Empire. It took all her self-control to not take her ship, get Anakin from Mustafar, and leave everything behind.

Then Obi-Wan came for a visit.

Padmé was so relieved to see him alive. Bail's note had told her that he had intercepted Master Yoda and Obi-Wan before they walked into the trap at the Temple. But being told that he was alive and well was not the same as seeing it for herself. She didn't believe what Palpatine had said about the Jedi. She couldn't, but she knew Jedi were being killed, hunted, executed. If anyone could have escaped though, it would have been Obi-Wan.

She was so happy to see him that she greeted him with a hug that surprised even her. "Thank the goddess you're alright!"

Obi-Wan detached himself from the hug, and looked at Padmé gravely. "Have you seen Anakin, recently? Do you know where he is?"

Padmé wanted to believe that Obi-Wan was asking only out of concern for Anakin, but given what she'd learned since this morning and what Anakin had told her the night before… she knew better. "No."

"Padmé, you must help me find him. Anakin has to be stopped." Obi-Wan didn't look well. He was tired and hurt; he still bore the marks and scars of his latest battles. He looked old and weary.

"Stopped? Obi-Wan he's won the war, what's there to be stopped?" Padmé knew she sounded incredibly naïve, and Obi-Wan wasn't falling for it. She sat gingerly on the couch; Obi-Wan followed her lead.

Obi-Wan paused, as if having to prepare himself for what he was about to admit. "Anakin has fallen to the Dark Side."

Padmé shook her head emphatically. "No, that's not possible, not Anakin…" She wanted to believe her words, but she couldn't. Anakin's change since he came home, his obsession with power, with growing stronger all to save her. She didn't know much about being a Jedi and the light and dark sides, but Anakin had told her some things…

"It's not possible," she whispered pleadingly.

Obi-Wan was clearly pained by this, but he continued. "I have seen security holograms at the Temple. Anakin lead the attack, he- he murdered younglings. He was carrying out Palpatine's orders."

"Palpatine?"

"He is the Sith Lord."

Finally all of the pieces began to fall into place, Palpatine's eager desire to hold onto power, his insistence that the elimination of the Jedi was necessary and good, the war, all of the people who had died… it all made sense now. And Anakin had been manipulated right into the middle of it.

Obi-Wan gave Padmé a moment to absorb the information. "You see now, I must stop Anakin."

Padmé gave the Jedi a sharp look. "You're going to kill him aren't you?" Obi-Wan didn't have to answer her. Indignation and protectiveness coursed through Padmé and she leapt to her feet. "How could you even think of that? You were his mentor, Obi-Wan! You're his best friend, his brother! How… how can you think of killing him?"

Obi-Wan couldn't look at Padmé anymore. "I wish there was another way. But that Dark Side is powerful. Even if we were to bring him back, Palpatine's hold is too strong. Eventually, Anakin would fall again… Padmé, embracing the dark side is a choice, Anakin wasn't forced into this. He chose it. Anakin is as good as gone. For the good of the Republic, for the entire galaxy, he must be stopped at all costs. Which is why I must find him as soon as possible."

"You don't know that. You don't know he wouldn't come back." Padmé shook her hear again; her anger giving way to shock and sorrow. She sank back down into the chair. "I can't. I can't help you with this. I… I'm…I can't help you kill him."

Obi-Wan placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know you care for him dearly, Padmé. I am truly sorry." Without another word, he turned and left.

Padmé watched his speeder disappear. Anakin chose this… This had happened because of her, because of Anakin's nightmares about her. He had chosen to act as he did, to do what Obi-Wan said he had done all to protect her. Did Anakin really believe that her life was more valuable than those of all the Jedi, of the younglings? Did he do all those things without even knowing of the baby?

Oh, Anakin what have you done?

Then with grim determination, she rose sharply and marched into her room. Obi-Wan may think Anakin is beyond help, but she had one more card to play. One thing Anakin could never resist: their child.