Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and dialogue belong to Disney.


A/N: I was watching CotBP for the umpteenth time, and suddenly it struck me: wouldn't it be fun to write a collection of drabbles and one-shots based on Jack's rather extensive résumé? Well, we're about to find out. Enjoy!


Crimes Against The Crown
By Sinnamon Spider

Prologue: A Wonderful Life of Crime


"Jack Sparrow, be it known that you have been charged, tried, and convicted for your wilful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith: piracy, smuggling…" The long-winded official continued to read off his scroll, which was rather longer than he was accustomed.

Jack, still smarting from the exclusion of his title, listened absently to the list of crimes he had committed.

"…impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy, impersonating a cleric of the Church of England, sailing under false colors, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation, and general lawlessness."

They had missed a few significant ones, but he supposed they couldn't catch everything, and 'general lawlessness' served as a blanket term for anything they had left out.

"And for these crimes you have been sentenced to be, on this day, hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul." The clerk rolled up his scroll and nodded to the hangman. As the hooded man moved toward the lever that would drop the boards out from beneath him, Jack had scant seconds to recall the incidents that had comprised his life…