Craig Tucker was in love. Actually, he just had a crush, a burning crush that felt real. He had a crush on Sharon Marsh, Stanley's mother, he told a very small percentage of people, they told him he's a "fucking weirdo" and "sick" and "too young". They always said "She's too old", he was always criticized by the three people that he told. He wanted to be with her, even though she's like forty-something I think, and married. He couldn't keep his secret, He had to tell Stan. So one day at school, Craig walked up to Stan, who was getting things out of his locker.
"Hey Stan-" before he could say anything, Stan turned around and punched him in the face. Craig fell on the floor and Stan continued to beat him. Kenny and Kyle broke up the fight, but Stan accidentally killed Kenny (oops).
"Stan, what the hell?"
"I heard what you did!" He snapped. "You banged my mom, you fuck!"
Banged his mom? What the fuck? He wishes, one of the guys must of changed what he told them. Because they don't want Craig to be with Sharon, so they had to trick Stan into killing Craig! He should have known!
After the school day, Craig started heading to the Marsh house, he was gonna ask Sharon out on a date. But suddenly, Tweek, Craig, and Token ambushed him. They weren't gonna let him do this.
"We're not gonna let you do this!" They all said in unison, or one after the other, I don't know, I wasn't there. Craig whipped out 2 machine guns of sorts, I wasn't there, and started shooting them, and they died. Or maybe he had it set to stun, again, I wasn't there.
He was finally at the Marsh residence, and opened the door (nobody locks anymore). Thankfully, Sharon was the only one there, she was doing the dishes, in the kitchen, in her house, comma, alone. Craig walked behind her.
"Hey, Mrs. Marsh, I've sorta had a crush on you for a while now, and he was wondering..." he shuts his eyes tightly "do you wanna go on a date with me?"
"Craig, I'm forty-something and married, you sick freak."
