Essence of Truth
Characters: Tsubaki|Who Is Coming? and Watanuki Sakuya
Rating: PG (K+)
Word Count: 2,958 words
Written for the Servamp Fairytale Zine 2017, and inspired by Hans Christian Andersen's "The Snow Queen".
Sakuya's had the mirror for as long as he can remember. He referred to it as a mirror, when in actuality it was a shard that was no bigger than the blade of a dagger. It clearly belonged to a larger mirror, but that mirror's whereabouts were unknown. The only thing he could say for certain about this mirror was that the reflections he saw were the only truths he would ever rely on.
Upon its acquisition, Sakuya quickly realized that the mirror didn't reflect one's physical appearance, but instead, one's soul. Until that point, he'd had to learn the evils of human nature the hard way, enduring years of abuse and lies from both his family and everyone else in the small village he called home.
The first time he'd witnessed the mirror's power was with his father's reflection. The ghastly sight of a hideous beast that could have only emerged from the most horrific of nightmares still haunted him, but his father wasn't the only monster he saw. His mother, his neighbors, his school teachers, nearly everyone he came across appeared as some sort of hellish fiend in the mirror, and it didn't take Sakuya very long to figure out why.
They really were monsters.
Ever since then, Sakuya never wasted another second getting to know anyone. He let the mirror evaluate others instead, and his opinion, it made his life a lot easier. He was always alone as a result, and he would most likely continue down that same path for the rest of his life. He didn't mind all that much; it was preferable to forging meaningless connections with false people that he knew would stab him in the back if given the opportunity.
Sakuya thought he had everything figured out in life, until the day he met Tsubaki.
That day had begun like any other. He'd been sitting at the bus stop, listening to music from his mp3 player as he waited, when suddenly he saw a man he'd not seen in the village before sit down next to him. He wore old-fashioned Japanese-style clothing, and Sakuya had no doubt that he wasn't from around here. He figured the stranger was here to catch the next bus out of town, and nothing more.
"Lovely day, isn't it?" With no one else around, Sakuya had to assume he was talking to him.
"Sure," Sakuya answered, lowering his headphones from his ears to around his neck.
"I've been looking for something," the man said off-handedly. "Perhaps you might know where it is?"
The notion to ignore him crossed Sakuya's mind, but he thought better of it. The bus would be arriving soon, and with any luck, he wouldn't have to put up with this for much longer.
"What is it?" Sakuya asked.
The man's lips curved upwards in a sly grin. "It's rather small, incredibly sharp if you don't handle it properly, and it's reflective," he paused for a second, "ah, what would you call something like that?"
"A mirror?" Sakuya wasn't sure he liked where this was going.
"That's it!" the man clapped. "The one I'm looking for is rather special. You see, it's actually a fragment, and it doesn't reflect-"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Sakuya snapped, interrupting the man before he could say any more.
"Come now," the man chided, "it's actually quite fascinating. The mirror shows you-"
"I said I don't know anything about it," Sakuya cut him off again, knowing exactly how guilty that made him sound.
"Are you certain?" The mischievous glint in the man's eyes not only gave Sakuya the notion that he wasn't human, but that he already knew where the fragment was.
"How do you know about it?"
"My dear, there's no point in trying to hide it. Your eyes have seen the horrors that only my mirror can produce," he said, tilting his head towards Sakuya in interest. "I should know, after all the mirror is my creation."
Without thinking of the consequences, Sakuya reached into his backpack and retrieved the mirror piece he'd kept wrapped up a handkerchief. The man's eyes lit up in recognition, but he said nothing as Sakuya angled the mirror so he should see the man's reflection.
To his surprise, the man's reflection was nearly the same as his appearance. In the reflection, however, the light in his crimson eyes was gone, and with a continuous stream of tears running down his pale cheeks, he looked as if he'd been broken beyond repair.
As he already knew, the man before him wasn't crying, he didn't even look like he could be on the verge of tears. The bright smile he gave Sakuya was a sharp contrast to the look of total despair he saw in the mirror, and for a split second, Sakuya wondered if the mirror could be wrong.
This man, while decidedly inhuman, was no different from anyone else. He too had issues he'd prefer to keep hidden, but even so, Sakuya couldn't help but think that the jovial demeanor the man conveyed to him was real, which made him question the reflection more.
"You're not getting this back," Sakuya replied, shoving his uncertainty to the back of his mind.
"I thought you might say that." The delight in what Sakuya now assumed to be demon's voice was more than a little unnerving, but Sakuya stood his ground. As far as he was concerned, the mirror shouldn't remain in the hands of someone careless enough to break it, let alone someone irresponsible enough to lose the pieces.
"Not that I can blame you really, the mirror's power is rather alluring," he continued nonchalantly, as if he was talking about the weather or yesterday's lunch.
"It's nothing so dramatic, I just-"
Sakuya paused for a second, feeling like he'd already said too much. The demon's gaze watched him with what Sakuya could only describe as innocent curiosity, and he felt compelled to continue.
"Hate liars," Sakuya admitted. "Evil is so easily hidden under a pretty face. I can't stand it."
The demon hummed in thought. "What makes you so special?"
"What?"
"Why should you get to judge others?" The demon wasn't smiling anymore, and if Sakuya wasn't mistaken, his reflection looked like it was in pain.
"Everyone has something to hide, and you are no exception."
"The difference is that I can see everything for what it is, and I refuse to embrace it," he stated, waving the fragmented mirror in the air while keeping a firm grip on it. "And for the record, being told off by the demon who created this mirror doesn't carry any weight. Just what the hell are you trying to do with this thing?" To his chagrin, irritation got the better of him. "And furthermore, how stupid do you have to be to break something so useful?"
Instead of retaliating, the demon burst out into a sudden fit of hysterics. His laughter, while loud and more than a little annoying, was empty and devoid of anything resembling joy. A quick glance into the mirror fragment confirmed that the laughter was in fact real; tears continued to fall down his cheeks as he cackled endlessly, and the paradox made Sakuya uneasy.
Eventually, the insane laughter died down on its own, until the demon was left gasping for air and snickering at whatever he found to be so humorous.
"I like you," he said once he'd calmed down enough to speak.
"What are you?" Sakuya finally voiced the question that had been on his mind from the very beginning.
Again, the demon tilted his head in thought.
"Why my dear, I'm just your ordinary man on a not-so-ordinary errand to repair my mirror." From his tone, it was obvious that he was teasing Sakuya.
"Yeah, whatever." Sakuya rolled his eyes and waved it off, deciding that the demon's antics weren't worth his time. "Just tell me what I should call you."
"My name is Tsubaki," the demon replied as the grin on his face seemed to become even more unsettling. "And you might be?"
"Sakuya," he answered automatically.
"Sakuya," Tsubaki repeated, the omnipresent smile on his face grew more ominous as he stepped closer to him. "What's it going to take for you to hand over my mirror fragment?"
To his chagrin, Sakuya found himself backing away from Tsubaki; while Tsubaki's true form wasn't monstrous, the realization that he was in fact, a demon, and could harm him if he wanted, was slowly setting in.
"You're asking me what I want?" Sakuya inquired skeptically. "You're a demon, aren't you?" Sakuya didn't know where this newfound courage was coming from, but he rolled with it nonetheless. "Couldn't you just take it from me if you wanted?"
"I suppose," Tsubaki chuckled, "but that wouldn't be very interesting," he looked away from Sakuya for a second before continuing, "besides, I'd rather not fight with my new friend. Surely, we can work something out, hmm?"
He wasn't sure he liked being referred to as a friend, but Sakuya figured he could let it slide. If Tsubaki was willing to strike some sort of deal with him, then it was probably in his best interest to play along for now. Sakuya could think of only one thing he wanted from Tsubaki.
"Take me to see the mirror, and I'll give the piece back." Sakuya demanded before wrapping the fragment back up in its protective cloth and securing it in his bag. "I want to see the entire thing."
Clapping his hands together, Tsubaki nearly skipped over to Sakuya; he didn't so much as flinch as Tsubaki reached out and took a hold of his hand.
"If you wish to accompany me to my home, I'll be more than happy to oblige." Tsubaki's voice was far too cheerful for his liking, but he didn't question it as he let Tsubaki lead the way.
After a few seconds, Sakuya realized that Tsubaki was still holding his hand, and he immediately pulled away. Tsubaki didn't seem to mind however, he only smiled and proceeded to tell Sakuya of an old myth, sounding as happy as one could possibly be.
Despite Tsubaki's enthusiasm, Sakuya wouldn't let himself be fooled. He knew exactly what he'd seen in the mirror, and an unprecedented need to understand begged him to find out how this demon, who seemed so carefree and high-spirited, could harbor so much pain.
"We're here." Tsubaki's voice broke the peaceful silence that had fallen between them. At that point, they'd been traveling for days and were currently walking through the cavern that Tsubaki referred to as his home. During their trek, Sakuya had grown accustomed to Tsubaki's eccentric ways, and found that he was even becoming fond of them. The peculiarities had a certain charm to them that Sakuya couldn't describe, but he could still acknowledge that there was far more to Tsubaki than he'd originally thought.
He couldn't see a thing in the cave, but once again, Tsubaki had taken a hold of his hand and was guiding him through the darkness. Tsubaki's hand was surprisingly warm; his touch gave Sakuya a sense of security that he wasn't sure he deserved. Not only did Tsubaki know the way, but somehow, he knew he could trust Tsubaki to not let him trip over the uneven ground or fall into a pit.
However, the tranquility Tsubaki gave him started to ebb away as a glowing green light became visible in the distance, and grew larger with each step they took. Knowing what was to come, the grip he had on Tsubaki's hand tightened.
"Have you ever seen your own reflection in the mirror?" Tsubaki asked without commenting on Sakuya's grip.
Sakuya had figured the question would come up eventually, but hearing the inquiry out loud destroyed whatever half-baked response he'd formulated prior. A veil of vulnerability fell upon him, leaving him anxious and uncertain.
"Not since I first found it as a child," he admitted.
"Are you afraid of what you might see?" Sakuya could tell that Tsubaki already knew the answer.
"Only a monster can judge another monster, right?" A half smile appeared on his face as he attempted to pass off the joke.
Tsubaki didn't seem to find the humor in his words. "I suppose you'll see for yourself soon enough."
Sakuya didn't respond. The glowing light was now big enough for him to see Tsubaki's outline. He met Tsubaki's gaze as he looked in his direction. "You didn't come all this way just to not see the full mirror, did you?"
"I can look without having to see myself, can't I?" While Sakuya had always wanted to see the world from the perspective of the real mirror, he'd never imagined having to see his own reflection. With his fragment, he could easily adjust it so he never had to see himself, which wouldn't be possible now.
Tsubaki came to a sudden halt, causing Sakuya to stop as well. "If you don't wish to see, then I can't bring you any closer," he said, glancing over to Sakuya.
Looking ahead, Sakuya could see that if he got any closer, he'd be able to see himself. But from this distance, he'd be able to see Tsubaki once he got closer, and for now, that was good enough.
Once again, Tsubaki found Sakuya's answer hidden in silence. "Very well, but I'll need your fragment so the mirror can be whole again."
"Thank you, Sakuya," Tsubaki nodded in appreciation as Sakuya wordlessly removed the mirror piece from his bag before handing it to him. As Tsubaki resumed his walk to the mirror, Sakuya saw the same reflection as before, but this time Sakuya couldn't keep quiet about it.
"Why are you crying?" He didn't care about how distasteful the question was, he needed to know.
Tsubaki didn't look back. He continued onwards until he was directly in front of the mirror, unable to deny Sakuya's question.
"Melancholy," Tsubaki spoke softly. "I wish to show you joy, to give you happiness, but I can't help what's on the inside." Tsubaki chuckled to himself. "I suppose that's true for everyone though. Everyone has something to hide, everyone wants to be someone they're not."
"Me?" Sakuya wanted to ask more, but Tsubaki carried on before he has the chance to speak.
"There is one thing I haven't been entirely honest with you about." Again, he faced away from Sakuya. "You know all too well what this mirror can do. It shows you the reality of what lies in a person's heart, but if you're not careful, you'll start to see what you expect to see, which often is the worst possible scenario.
Years ago," Tsubaki continued as he placed the final piece back into the mirror, which sealed itself instantly, making it look like it had ever been broken to begin with, "I realized the true effects of this mirror. It stole my peace of mind and reduced me to the reflection you see now. I thought if I broke the mirror and scattered the pieces around earth, I could rid myself of my sorrows."
"Tsubaki." In that moment, Sakuya no longer cared about his own reflection. Without another thought, he left his spot and sprinted over to the mirror.
"But instead I made everything worse," Tsubaki spoke as if he hadn't heard Sakuya. "So many people fell victim to the mirror's power, and turned into monsters themselves."
Just as those words left Tsubaki's lips, Sakuya stopped next to him. Astonishingly, his reflection was the same as it was with any other mirror. He looked to Tsubaki with shock written all over his face.
"You are the only one who didn't," Tsubaki answered Sakuya's unspoken question as he turned to meet Sakuya's gaze.
"You can't stay with this."
"What other choice do I have?" Tsubaki laughed bitterly. "I can't destroy it."
"I don't believe that." Sakuya shook his head. "There has to be a way to get rid of this mirror without letting a single piece of it fall into someone else's hands."
Tsubaki narrowed his gaze towards Sakuya. "Even if there was a solution, don't you think after all this time I would have figured it out?"
"You never had my help before." A rare, yet authentic smile graced Sakuya's lips as he reached out to grab a hold of Tsubaki's hand, squeezing it slightly.
"Sakuya?" The bewilderment in Tsubaki's eyes matched the surprise that Sakuya's held moments before.
"Look," Sakuya started, suddenly feeling unusually nervous. "I've seen the worst this world has to offer for my entire life, and with this mirror, I never felt the need to use my own judgement, or even try to see beyond anyone's reflection." After a calming breath, he continued, looking directly at Tsubaki. "But then I found some good in this world. It's something I can believe with my own eyes, and I don't want to lose it."
From the corner of his eye, Sakuya noticed that Tsubaki's reflection was no longer tearful. Tsubaki's lips morphed into a smile, and Sakuya didn't need the mirror to know it was real.
"What do you propose we do?" Tsubaki asked.
"Let's get out of here." Sakuya smiled again. "If no one's managed to get through this maze of a cave and find this before, then I doubt anyone will now."
Tsubaki didn't respond, but Sakuya didn't him to. He already felt Tsubaki's gratitude and determination, and with nothing left to do, Tsubaki led Sakuya away from the mirror and back into the black depths of the cave, where they would eventually find themselves in the light again, ready to take on the real darkness of this world together.
