Opening Note: This is just a crazy idea that popped into my head whilst bedridden with sickness. At the time this is being posted, I've been mostly silent for nearly a year, fighting personal battles, focusing on group projects with my close friends Phen0m20 and mordreek. This story is not to be taken seriously, unless you want to. I ain't gonna stop you or tell you what to do.

Yuno Gasai was distraught. He just couldn't have resisted looking into the room. He saw what was in. And he ran. Locked his door and everything. She'd given him a goodnight through the mail slot but it hadn't seemed to alleviate him.

She'd worry about that in the morning. As she took off her shoes and walked down the hall, her killing instincts kicked in. Coming from that forsaken room was giggling. Pulling out an ever so trusty knife, she traipsed down the hall. The door was already open and the giggles had turned to cackles. She looked in and was taken aback by what she saw. It was a man. Talk and thin as a toothpick in a purple suit. His skin was so white it practically glowed with the moon. And his hair was green like a forrest.

He hadn't turned around to look at her, yet it was as if he could sense her presense.
He gradually stopped laughing to talk.

"Haaa haaaaaa! Oh, you make your old man proud."

He turned his head and smiled wickedly at her. His eyes were like hypnotic emeralds.

The words confused her, but she shook them off and charged. He didn't make any attempt to dodge or stop her.

She was about to shove the steel into his chest when her arm was stopped. He'd grabbed her at what seemed like an unnatural speed. Twisting her wrist, she dropped the knife into his free hand waiting underneath. Looking at it like an animal in a zoo, he turned his torso slightly and let go of her, grabbing the flower in his lapel. He gave it a squeeze and some sort of liquid squirted out, coating the knife.

A sound that reminded Yuno of frying eggs filled the room. Her eyes widened as the knife melted. This freak evidently carried around acid with him, and kept it hidden in plain sight. She couldn't help but respect that.

"I see you've inherited my knack for knives," he observed, nodding and dropping the handle, letting the now useless weapon sizzle to a heap to be forgotten on the floor.

"Who are you?" A curious Yuno asked.

"Me?" He looked at her again, and he let out another laugh. "Oh I'm nobody. At least I used to be, until that vat of chemicals made me the stunning crime clown I am today! Hahahaha!"

While most people would have been shocked or frightened by this man, Yuno was simply deeply confused. After all, she'd met a god and possessed a diary that told the future. She was used to seeing the uncanny.

He continued talking. She got the impression he enjoyed talking, especially when he was the subject. He reached down and grabbed the skull of the body nearest to him, and casually tore it off the neck bones like he was picking an apple off a tree.

He then put on an intentionally amateur ventriloquism act, talking out of the corner of his mouth and changing the pitch of his voice while making the jaw bone move in tandem with his words.

"You see, dear old dad's been away for a while! Being chased around by an annoying bat, going to the looney bin more times than he bothers to remember. But he felt it was time to go see his little girl, what with his current flame Harley busy with a bomb in her neck working for the government."

Yuno was at a loss for words. Not because of the morbid display he was putting on, but because of what he was claiming. She knew she was adopted, but...

"Are you-"

"I am." He finished for her, tossing aside the skull like it was a toy he was bored with. "Where oh where do you think you came from? Clouds and sunshine?"

"Why should I believe you?" She got defensive. She'd never let anyone hurt her like the two on the ground did ever again.

"Just because Yuno," he smiled wider than usual at having revealed he knew her name. "Do you really have anything better to do?"

He plucked out a green hair and offered it to her. "You can have your cop friend run this."

Had he been watching her? If so, for how long? He knew her name, where she lived, and about the Fourth Diary holder. Those could have all been gathered in a day or two, but he gave off the air that this meeting was a long time coming.

She looked at the hair, then to his white face, then back to the curly bit of DNA. Deciding that no harm could come from it, she took the hair and looked at it resting in her palm.

"Feel free to lie about where it came from," he said sweetly. "Lying is a talent we both possess in spades."

He put his hands on his knees and bent down so that he and Yuno were of equal height.

He looked her up and down.

"Clearly you favor your mother's side, although you do seem to have gotten my splendidly pale complexion. And love of violence. Or is it all in the name of defense?"

He returned to his full height, clearly not waiting for an answer, and began walking out of the room and down the hall.

Curling her fingers into a fist to keep the green hair safe, she made after him. Catching up to him just as he grabbed the door knob, her footsteps obviously caught his attention as he stopped and grinned at her.

"If you are who you say you are, why did you wait until now to come back?"

"Well as I said, I've been busy, dealing with bats in my belfry. Plus, with my ear to the ground, I've been hearing about the goings-on around and couldn't resist." He flexed his right hand, and out from the sleeve and into his waiting hand slide a switchblade. Making sure the blade was still tucked in the handle, he offered it to her as he had his green lock.

"To replace the one I made into soup back there."

This gift she didn't hesitate to take. She pressed the button on the handle and out jumped steel. She was oh so tempted to bury it in his neck, but a small voice in the back of her head suggested otherwise.

What if he was telling the truth? Her Diary had remained silent, thus he wasn't going to give her a Dead End. He could he of use...

Staring at her possible father's gift, she forced her eyes off of it and looked up, only to see the door wide open. He'd already left.