"You don't understand! My son's a good kid, honest!" Mom insisted to the officer behind the desk, "He's just misunderstood's all."

"He beat a group of other kids with a bat and set fire to the high school." the policewoman gestured violently in my direction, "That's not misunderstood, ma'am. It's mentally disturbed."

"Ain't we all?" Mom shrugged nonchalantly.

I controlled the laugh fighting to escape my mouth and pretended to be playing with my shoelaces, trying to reach the lock pick they hadn't searched me for. Amateurs.

"I don't think you understand the severity of the situation, Miss Quinzel. Your son is lucky no one's pressed charges yet. He could be going to juvenile detention or be tried as an adult."

"Look, lady, my baby ain't going anywhere but with me." Mom lost her patience and pulled out her bazooka, "Now, let him go."

"Are you crazy?" the officer's voice rose a few octaves, "You're in the middle of the police station!"

"Haven't you heard? The name's Harley Quinn. I live for crazy." she pointed her gun at the officer's head and directed her towards where I was cuffed to a bench.

"For my protection" they'd said. "The criminals in the box are dangerous." You don't know the half of it.

The policewoman hesitantly uncuffed me and Mom used her to get us out the door. Everyone in the station was either horrified or pointing guns at us.

"You okay, J.J.?" Mom glanced over at me once I'd shut the door behind us.

"Got in a fight, the pigs showed up, I went for a ride, nothing special." I shrugged.

"Wait 'til your daddy finds out." she hit the police officer over the head, rendering her unconscious once we'd gotten in the car and then drove off.

-A few hours later-

"You're first arrest!" Dad smiled, "Surprised the Bat didn't show up with the ruckus you two stirred up."

"Junior was a real pro." Mom chimed in.

"I used a bat on those fools trying to bother me." I explained, "You should've seen them. "No! Please! Batman will come after you!" They ripped my favorite shirt."

"And the school?" Dad questioned.

"Full of Batman-worshipping, drooling apes." I told him, "Shame they got out okay."

"You'll do better next time." he laughed, "Now, show me your mug shots!"