Star Wars
The Crapuels& The Craptacular Editions
This is the Star Wars saga rewritten!
By Darth Sillyname, the Dynamic Villain.
2003, 2009
Every generation has its embarrassments...
Every saga has its parody...
Every fanboy has his issues...
A long time ago, in an insane galaxy filled with nonsense...
A vast sea of stars serves as the background for the title and the roll-up, which crawls into infinity, and then some...
For a really long time the Jedi Knights - guardians of bad taste and peace in the galaxy - had guarded bad taste and peace in the galaxy.
But then the galaxy went into turmoil, because there was something with fake aliens, and taxes, and computer animation, and toys, and merchandize, and booty action, and whatever.
This somehow involved the young queen ImADalek of Nabooty, an annoying child named Annakiddie Skywalker, a bunch of idiot Jedi, a floppy eared cartoon character, a crack squad of teenage girls, Christopher Lee in a cape, deep mythological meanings, CG armies, Jimmy Smits, a little green Alien, Samuel L. Jackson, microscopic lifeforms, guys who looked like Boba Fett, Chewbacca, Artoo-Detoo, See-Threepio, Jabba The Hutt, Bib Fortuna, the well known planet Tatooine, conveniently placed generators, an emperor, a Death Star, and big explosions.
After three episodes of insanity - known as the Crapuels - it looked like the next three episodes, which had been made before the first three episodes, did not fit with those first three episodes, and so special editions were created - known as the Craptacular Editions; which involved Luke, Han, Leia, Darth Vader, the 21 steps of how to become a Jedi, Christopher Lee in a cape, deep mythological meanings, CG armies, Jimmy Smits, a little green Alien, Samuel L. Jackson, microscopic lifeforms, guys who looked like Boba Fett, Chewbacca, Artoo-Detoo, See-Threepio, Jabba The Hutt, Bib Fortuna, the well known planet Tatooine, conveniently placed generators, an emperor, a Death Star or two, and big explosions.
Only a lone fanboy with too much time on his hands could try to make sense of it all...
The first three episodes (chapters) cover the prequels, and are critical parodies. Everything that was wrong in the prequels will be attacked - with the power of humor!
These are the Crapuels!
The last three episodes (chapters) cover the original trilogy, and are the originals rewritten to 'fit' the prequels in a crazy, fun way.
These are the Craptacular Editions!
The Episodes:
Episode 1: The Perils Of Queen ImADalek Of Nabooty
Episode 2: Stop! Or My Clone Will Shoot!
Episode 3: A Very Big Explosion & Revenge Of The Very Big Explosion (Under Construction, stay tuned! I have finally continued working on this!)
Episode 4: An Updated Hope
Episode 5: Attack Of The Snow Clones
Episode 6: The Sixth Episode
The episodes are presented in Screenplay format (more or less), so these are not complete stories.
This makes these episodes easy and quick to read.
Now you shall read this. It is your destiny!
Note: if fanfiction net messes up the formatting of these stories (again), please let me know with a private message. If I don't forget to check my old email account, I might see it and fix things (again).
Now have fun :)
