[Prologue]

Sitting up, I panted as the slick sweat trickled down my bare skin. My heart racing against my ribcage rather hard as I grasped my chest with my shaking hand. Another fucking nightmare, the same as it had always been. About one single person, one single being who held my still beating heart in their grasp. Closing my eyes, bowing my head as my panting lungs slowed, I shook it, causing the silver locks to fall over my eyes. Using my free hand, I reached up to remove the locks from my view when my index finger trailed over the last scar I had received from the final battle with Akatsuki. The main battle that killed most of the Konoha shinobi, including two out of three of my old team. The nostalgia bothered me, no. That would be a lie. It made me sick, it tore at my insides as if I had none. Stripping off the blanket, I slid my feet off the right side of the bed, and let my feet hit the soft rug. It wasn't even a one-bedroom apartment, it was only a two-room ANBU apartment. It had a bathroom, and a living room, that was it. Instead of having a couch, it had a futon. A sink in the bathroom, along with a mirror, a toilet, and most importantly a shower. A dresser sat on the right side, and on top was a plant that I had gotten from one of my students, and on each side, was a photo. A photo of my old team when I became a sensei, the other was a photo of my younger years.

Exhaling slowly, I stood up straight, cracking the bones in my old back before walking into the bathroom. Leaning my head back, I kept my eyes closed. Before I moved back here, I used to live with my lover, even though it was only a few short months, we were scared back then. Scared of facing our emotions for one another. So, we dealt with how we felt on missions when it was just us, or when Sakura came along. Sakura had no clue, she thought it was safety reasons on why Naruto and I shared a tent. To keep an eye on Kyuubi-No-Kitsune. Shaking myself from those memories, I did my business in the bathroom before washing my hands. It was still late; the moon was settled high in the sky. I was wiped the fuck out at this point, not caring whether if I lived or died. Cupping my hands under the water, I splashed it on my face. I knew I wasn't going back to sleep, I never did when I wake up from the screams of my fallen comrades. It's been three years, and four months since the final war. This war was between two powerful people, Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. I couldn't stop them from fighting, I couldn't save either of them. Sakura tried to get in the middle, however, I was able to wrap my arms around her, shielded her from the collateral damage as well by taking it into my own body. That final attack killed both Naruto and Sasuke. I heard the piercing cry they both made, it wasn't a pain cry, no. One was a heartbreaking, wrenching cry, the other…was a hatred cry. Both…were devastating to listen to.

Swallowing hard, I went to my mini dresser and pulled out my Jounin fit, it was the only fit that I used as normal wear anymore. Since all I've been doing was one mission after another. This break…was forced on me by the fifth Hokage. I turned down my position after Naruto and Sasuke died, what was the point of being Hokage when I've done nothing but let people down? Sakura looks at me with so much hatred because I couldn't stop them from killing one another. Although, who she would see dead…was the one thing that frightened me, to be honest. Getting off that nostalgia, I dressed and left as quick as I could, not willing to be in the darkness longer than I had to. Letting my feet carry me, although I knew where they were going to take me, I looked up into the night sky. Watching the moon shine, and the stars twinkle, I couldn't help but think back when the council asked me to train Sasuke with the Sharingan, my own notion to teach him Chidori. I regret that now…boy do I ever. However, it was needed. I'd make the same decision again, only this time. I'd stop Sasuke from leaving, or find a way to make sure I'd get him back before he and Naruto fought.

The decisions I'd redo, the decisions I'd keep. Each one swarmed in my head as I walked to the memorial statue. Sitting in front of it, I reached up to trace each name of either my students, my friends, or my mentor. Each letter bringing a sharp pain in my chest. Fuck, why do I keep torturing myself? Why didn't I stop them? Sinking to my knees, I ran my fingers through my hair and gave it a sharp tug, to cause physical pain to hopefully stop the intense pain in my chest. Sitting down on my ass, I sat back against the stone and looked back up into the sky, not moving a muscle. Slowly my eyes closed as I fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep with the only family I have ever known.

A/N: This chapter has been edited. I plan to edit the rest then post another chapter. Enjoy!