When the Winter Winds Blow

He moved quickly, his feet leaving a mark in the snow as he did so. By now the forest was sparse and bare, the trees had shed their leaves long ago. This time of year, always had a marked affect on Mordred. It took him back to being a young boy in the Druid camps. Back then he'd been alone, passed from camp to camp, never putting down any roots. He had felt isolated, sullen with no idea of what he would do with his life. Even now, as he shed his lonely path, he felt completely separated from people he came into contact with. He was just a loner, with his head down, moving onwards never staying anywhere for too long.

At times he thought back to the night of his separation from Kara. He had met her at the age of thirteen. From the moment he had spied her, she had fascinated him. She had come to his camp late one night. He'd heard whispers of how this young girl had arrived, all on her own. According to the Elders she had taken a vow of silence, since her arrival. For a fortnight no words had fallen from her lips. Sometimes he had spied her across the fire, encased in a world of her own. Every now and then their eyes had met, but neither reacted. At times, Mordred felt he was looking into himself when he looked at her.

It had been a week later when he had gone walking collecting herbs, when he came across her. She had been sitting by a stream, collecting wild flowers. He had sat down and watched her, pick off the petals and release them onto the breeze. He watched as they had scattered onto the ground, before dispersing away, like raindrops at the end of a storm. He had no idea how long he'd stayed observing her. Suddenly she had spied him watching her and she'd jumped up, ready to make her escape.

He jumped down from the rock he'd been sitting on and had caught up with her easily. As he approached her, he would always remember the look of fear on her face, it had shocked him. He knew he needed to act fast and he had, assuring her he meant her no harm. After a hesitation she appeared to accept his simple words and a smile transformed her face.

It was then their connection had been made, as if each had seen the answer in the other's eyes. From that day forward, they had become inseparable. He had told her things he'd never told anyone else. She had reacted in kind, her story tumbling from her lips like water from a brook. The tongues had started to wag in the camp, once their friendship had been discovered. Yet neither cared, for they had one another and that was all each of them had ever needed.

For five whole years Mordred and Kara had been together, growing up, falling in love. But then one night, Mordred had awoken to an uncomfortable feeling. A feeling of restlessness engulfed him, making him feel trapped like an animal in a cage. The years before he'd felt contentment with Kara, were now replaced by a longing to leave and explore the world outside the Druid camp. He knew that meant they must part. He had also known she wouldn't take kindly to it.

She hadn't, for three days she had refused to look or talk to him. No matter what he did or said to her, she became like the child that had arrived, all those years ago. Only the night before his departure did she eventually come around. That night, they had slept beneath a blanket of bright stars, with the moon shining down on them. He had held her tight and promised her, one day he would call for her and they would be together. But he insisted, he had to walk his path alone for now, to discover who he was. To understand what his life could be.

So here he was, wandering aimlessly trying to find something he could give himself too. As he'd walked around from village to village, he had picked up work along the way. It had kept him fed and given him places to sleep. He had become so immersed in this new restless life, that his days of being a Druid and having magic, had been suppressed deeply into his mind, completely locked away. To everyone he met, he was just an ordinary young man, trying to find his way in the world.

Yet, no matter how much had had tried to embrace his new life, it appeared as if something was missing. His inability to accept his magic in the open was like a burden, which was constantly on his mind. He had always felt as if the Druid camp was a type of prison, but now he had escaped one prison for another. Out in the real world, he could still not embrace what he truly was. Magic was feared outside, people had no need for it, it was something which had been locked away, for the dangerous thing it was.

But he knew that was wrong. How could he fully encase himself into life, if he was having to reject a part of himself? Magic was inside him, it was something he could never erase from his being, even if he wanted too. But he knew his problem was others would not accept his magical side, thus he would be forced to deny it. So, in the end he accepted this was the way it had to be.

The next two years he had drifted around without finding anything that meant much to him. He met one group of people and then exchanged them for another group. He made few friends, he kept himself aloof and alone. He soon had it down to a tee, he had almost entirely forgotten his background, the Druid camps, even Kara was a distant memory. He threw himself into the life around him, earning enough to live, but never truly existing either. Then one day a name was mentioned which took him back in time. He'd been standing in line waiting to buy some bread when he'd overheard a conversation.

Two men to the side of him were talking about a slave trade dealer called Ragnor, who was taking some men to Ismere. It was only when the name Morgana was mentioned that Mordred gave a start. Morgana! How long was it since he'd last seen her, he wondered? He had never truly forgotten the young woman who had saved his life, that wretched day in Camelot. When he had lost all hope after losing the one person who meant anything to him; she had come into his life and showed him the love he had never truly experienced before. He remembered Arthur too, the young Prince who had taken him back to the Druids. That day he had learnt that sometimes people could show kindness, to others.

From the moment Morgana's name came up, Mordred had decided he must see her once again. He was determined to find work with Ragnor and go to Ismere and rediscover the young woman whom he had never forgotten. He wondered if she'd changed much from the last time, he'd seen her. It made him think again of the days he'd been with the elusive Alvarr. Mordred looked back on the times with mixed feelings. He had realised now that Alvarr had used him, for his powers. But it had at least given him the chance to meet once again with Morgana. Once more, she had chosen to help him, Mordred knew even now she would do so once again. All he needed now was a plan and maybe then the life he longed for, would open up for him, he could then find a life he could accept.