Fingernails dig into her palm so hard, it just may draw blood.
She's supposed to know everything that goes on in this humdrum little burg, surprises like this leave her feeling blindsided, and there's nothing in this world she hates more than that. Well, there might be a new contender for bringing out that emotion now. Seeing the smile on his face and knowing she is not the cause. The hand entwined with his does not belong to her, walking into school on a crisp autumn Monday.
Caroline Forbes had shown up one month into the school year, and assimilated into their social circle so seamlessly, it's like she's lived here her entire life.
It'd been a cause for curiosity at first, not so enamored as everyone else, but a new face in a place where hardly anything ever changes had been welcome stray from the norm. Still, something rankled in the way that she wasn't shy. That she never tried to earn her place, rather stepped in and took it as if she'd always been there.
That everyone just let her.
Elena follows her gaze, offers a sympathetic look, but wisely keeps her mouth shut.
She knows Katherine has always flourished in being queen bee, and ever since Caroline came along, she's been losing her footing in that title. Especially now that is seems the other contender for the crown has landed herself a king in the form of Stefan Salvatore.
"Come on," Elena says tugging at her elbow. "We're going to be late."
/\
It's like this.
Katherine has been in love with Stefan since the second grade. When he was so kind as to pick up the books she'd dropped, after tripping on the concrete playground in embarrassing fashion, and helping her to her feet. The tear in her brand new tights had brought tears to her eyes, but they didn't fall when her eyes met the boy's with the spiky hair, who's smile made her feel a little less stupid for making such a spectacle of herself.
Problem with being in love at such an age, is that boys are more disgusted by the notion of having a girlfriend, than jumping through puddles and touching bullfrogs. Stefan just wasn't interested in holding her hand, though he seemed to have no issue with walking her home from school on the daily, even if passing her house was a given as he lived just a block away.
It also didn't help that he and her tomboy twin Elena instantly bonded on all these walks, talking easily about schoolwork, scary movies, and several other subjects that hardly held any interest with Katherine herself.
Someday, she always thought. Someday, he'll be ready.
/\
"So when did it happen?" Katherine asks Elena at her locker, having stormed over to it as quickly as she could after home room.
"When did what happen?" Elena replies, exchanging her geometry book for biology.
"Don't play dumb."
Elena rolls her eyes, tucking the book under her arm, making her wait a few extra seconds just because it will drive her crazy.
"Laney," Katherine warns with a glare. "I am not in the mood."
Elena laughs.
"At the party, when do you think?"
Right, the party. Every kid from Mystic Falls High worth their salt, hidden out in the woods, drinking cheap beer around poorly supervised bonfires. She tries to replay the highlights in her mind, but it's a blur past arriving with Elena, and having that first drink handed to her by Stefan.
"Where was I?" Katherine asks.
"Three sheets by ten-thirty," Elena fills in. "Matt and I had to carry you to the car. Tyler seemed pretty disappointed."
"Why would Tyler be-"
Oh god, did she flirt with Tyler Lockwood? Has she really become that desperate?
"You'd make a handsome couple," she teases.
"The day I even consider dating such a meat head," Katherine mutters, horrified. "Is the day I throw myself off the Wickery Bridge."
Elena laughs again.
"They went down to the falls together," Elena continues, knowing her sister wants all the details, even if it pains her to hear them. "Ended up kissing, and now they're dating. Simple, right?"
"Right," Katherine echoes.
Simple, pedestrian, and dull.
/\
It's like this.
She and Stefan do go on a date once. To the winter formal in fifth grade. Originally planned as a group outing between the three of them, you know, so it wouldn't be weird. Katherine basically talks Elena into faking an illness, with promises of chores being done and other favors to be called upon on the thought of them. Elena only says yes because, by that point, the crush had become so obvious yet Stefan remained so oblivious something had to had to happen.
A big show is made, when Stefan arrives at the door, Elena answering it wrapped in a blanket and telling him to come in with a raspy voice. Katherine descends the stairs in a grand spectacle, the dress that finally won out among the dozens she'd tried, shining and perfect.
You look nice, Stefan compliments. Katherine almost says I do right then and there.
The dance itself is nothing to brag about, a typical elementary school gathering in a gym decked out in miles of crepe paper. Stefan refuses to dance to any of the fast songs, but he's very attentive to Katherine's punch addiction, and fetches her glass after glass of the fruity concoction.
She does not take no for an answer on slow songs, to which he begrudgingly agrees, and she has every intention of kissing him when some jerk face pulls the fire alarm and everyone goes scrambling for the exits.
/\
They're holding hands under the table at lunch.
It's sickening enough to make Katherine want to vomit up her blueberry yogurt exorcist style across the table at them. Elena looks at her the second that thought is complete, damn twin telepathy, and she actually feels the need to shake her head to assure that such a thing doesn't happen.
No, Katherine isn't going to spit at them. Or snarl. Or rip that pretty blonde hair straight off her head and wave it around like a trophy. Elena's eyes go wide, seriously stop it, and Katherine just shoots her a little kick to the shin.
Matt, Bonnie, Stefan, and Caroline all give them curious glances, but not a one bothers to ask about the disturbance. Elena however, scowls and leans down to rub at the area where contact was made. Katherine closes her eyes for a moment, allowing the possibility that all this internalized angst just might bring on a migraine, and when she opens them Caroline is whispering into Stefan's ear and the upturned smirk of his lip has her snapping to her feet.
The entire table looks up at her, surprise on every single one of their faces, and Katherine can't think of a single excuse for the action so she just turns and walks away.
Elena's sympathy is prevalent in the back of her mind, but it burns to the touch like unwanted pity.
/\
It's like this.
Of course she dates other people. It's not like she was going to sit around moping for one boy in particular, during the entire stretch of puberty, especially when she blossoms in all the right ways bringing on all that glorious attention.
Problem is, no matter how into another guy she might get, she keeps looking for some kind of sign from Stefan. A disapproval of sorts. A jealous spark in his eye. Anything. Anything at all. It never comes. Whether she's dating a jock, burnout, wannabe bad boy drift racer nothing about her taste in boys ever seems to cause objection in him.
The only time she can recall him stepping in, is when some senior basketball player asked her out, and Stefan casually pointed out the guy obviously had some predatory issues, and an awful reputation with rejection. He wasn't wrong when she turned the guy down, and the very next day SLUT was scrawled on the door of her locker. But Stefan was there, cleanser in hand, helping her clean it off.
He dates too.
Part of her always hoped he'd be terrible at it. That streak of shyness in him, his complete inability to realize how handsome he is. Or the fact that he's been best friends with two girls since he was seven, should have been more off putting to any possible paramour looking his way. Just the opposite actually. To them it means he's a good one. A keeper.
Though none of them stick around too long to actually become a problem, but anytime she sees a girl twirling their hair in his presence, the green eyed monster flashes its fangs for fresh prey. Rumors get spread. The wrong kind of questions are asked. None of it ever comes back to her, but she remains forever stuck off to the side of his peripheral vision.
/\
Elena finds her after the final bell has rung, with that laughable I know what you're going through, look on her face. Katherine ignores it, shifting through her bag for her cell phone, as Elena stands there patiently.
"I'm fine," Katherine mutters, still looking. Stupid bottomless hole of a bag, why did she ever buy this
thing?
"No you're not," Elena replies. "It's okay that you're not, you know that right?"
Katherine forces a laugh.
"It's okay, I'm not okay. Thank you Dr. Phil."
Elena grabs her sister's arm, the act of it finally getting her to stop rummaging around, as she looks up to meet her eye to eye. She's waiting for the words, the fortune cookie advice, that Stefan never dates anyone for more than a few months and this is probably just a quick infatuation with the new girl. Nothing to worry about, yeah? Thanks sis.
"It's different this time." is what Elena actually says.
Katherine's mouth drops open, not at all what she expected to hear.
"He really likes her."
She pulls her arm away.
"They've been a thing for two days."
Elena looks away.
"Did he say something to you?"
She doesn't answer.
"Laney-"
"No, he didn't." She replies. "He doesn't have to. We've known him forever, Katherine. When have you ever seen him smile so much? That laugh? You or I never caused that in him. Neither did any other girl you chased off."
Katherine's cheeks flush crimson. Of course Elena had known, and of course she never said anything about it.
"I was always rooting for the two of you," she goes on. "But I think it's time you allow for the possibility that it might not happen."
How Katherine wants to grab her, shake her violently, make her take it back. She and Stefan are meant for each other. He just can't see it yet. He just needs time. But she's there, always there, whenever he's ready.
"I'm asking you not to do what you always do," Elena carries on. "Caroline is off limits."
"That sounds like a threat, little sister."
"If you take my asking you to be a decent person about this as a threat, we've got a bigger issue here."
Elena waits, Katherine seethes, and neither looks as if they'll back down.
"Fine," stumbles from her mouth after a moment.
For a second Elena isn't sure she heard right.
"I said fine," she reiterates. "God, I hate you sometimes."
"No, you don't," Elena replies with a smirk. "Bonnie and I are headed to the Grill, Matt's working so free drinks, if you want to come."
Katherine notes that neither Stefan, nor Caroline's names are mentioned in the invite. Probably have plans to serenade each other on a balcony somewhere.
"Can't, I'm on pageant duty."
"Right," Elena says, backing away. "Have fun with that."
/\
It's like this.
When they kiss, oh when they kiss, her heart sings finally finally finally.
Her arms wrap around his neck with ease, wanting to keep him there as long as she possibly can. His lips, how many nights had she lay in bed wondering, what would they feel like pressed against hers? Now that knowledge is palpable, his kiss confident and sure, as her head spins with an intelligence she longed for.
His hands shift to her hips, instinct calling to lean into his touch, her body craving closer contact. Give in to me, she thinks. Give me everything. All that you're willing to and more. It's not startling in the least, how much she wants him. But she does try to calm herself, not wanting to appear so desperately eager, but this is real. This is happening. Punctuating each deep kiss with a quick little one, she loses time, not sure how long they actually carry on. Sighing into his mouth, she didn't know such happiness was meant for her.
Then, just as suddenly as it started, he stops.
She grabs the underside of his jaw, to keep him there, no no no you don't.
Her mind is screaming, we're not done. Not now. Not when we're on the same page.
Her name falls from his lips.
Don't, she wants to shout. Don't call it a mistake. A moment they just got caught up in. One never meant to last.
He doesn't pull away, but they do not kiss again, and very gingerly she removes the hand from his face. Her head falls to his shoulder, holding on just a little while longer, unable to keep looking at him while feeling so vulnerable.
He says her name again, but words can't conjugate on her tongue, only a low groan of response emits from her throat. She feels a whisper soft kiss atop her hair, that little act giving her hope, but as soon as their eyes meet she wishes she'd kept her head down.
Somehow she knows what he's feeling, despite not saying a word, how he's always been capable of loving her. Maybe even has loved her, in the way that she does him, somewhere deep down. But how he's looking at her now, as if he can't see her without seeing Elena, dashes all hope away. Even if he knows damn well they're not the same. Never have been. Visages a reflection, but persons just their own.
Don't, she begs silently. Don't say you can't love me because of her. Don't make me hate her for that.
His hand reaches up to caress her cheek, bottom lip trembling as her eyes fall closed, realizing what has truly happened.
Just this once. Just to see.
A cruelty she never thought him capable, and loves him more because of it.
/\
Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
Miss Mystic Falls, three years running.
A feat which has never been accomplished in the entire history of the pageant. She is a true queen. A legend among her peers. So why is she huddled by herself in some random corner of the Lockwood mansion, pouting like a total loser?
Probably because she saw Caroline drag Stefan onto the dance floor with hardly and argument. Not even a slow song, which stings a little. She takes the tiara and sash off, no longer in the mood for gaudy trinkets, and drops them unceremoniously to the ground. Is this really her lot in life? To be so miserable? Is it too much to ask that she just get what she wants?
Elena shows up right on cue, handing over a glass, which Katherine takes but has no intention of drinking.
"It's spiked," Elena says in a stage whisper, capping it off with a wink.
She's momentarily surprised, hardly ever seeing her sister cut loose in such a fashion, let alone when their Aunt and Uncle are in the vicinity. Katherine takes a sip and nearly chokes, not expecting it to be spiked so well, assuming Matt and Tyler had something to do with it.
"Congratulations," Elena offers up. "Did I say that already? Maybe last year? Or the year before?"
"You're drunk," Katherine states drolly.
"Guilty."
"Any particular reason?"
Elena shoots her a look, glassy eyes suddenly serious.
"Someone's misery keeps invading my head space," she answers. "So I'm drowning it out."
Katherine grabs her hand.
"Jesus, Laney. I'm sorry."
Elena shrugs.
"I'm sorry he doesn't love you like you want him to."
Ouch, she thinks with a nod.
"With animal attacks so constant in this podunk little town, maybe I'll get lucky."
Elena's jaw drops.
"That's a horrible thing to say."
"Well, I'm a horrible person."
"Kathy..."
"Wicked and selfish. Undeserving of love."
Elena's head dips to her sisters shoulder.
"That's not true. Besides, Caroline's founding family," she says. "She knows how to protect herself."
"She's not one of us," Katherine counters.
"Still a Forbes," Elena rebukes. "Raised here or not. You don't begrudge Meredith for not being a local."
"Meredith Fell isn't the one dancing with the boy I love."
Both of their eyes move to the dance floor, Stefan and Caroline easy enough to pick out among all the other patrons of the town trying to cut a rug, her giggle when he dips her audible all the way from their little nook.
"Look how happy he is," Elena says softly. "If you really love him like you say, how could you ever think of taking that away?"
Katherine watches their heads press together, twirling ever so contently.
Because it's not me, she thinks.
And if I can't have him...
