Full Summary: What happens when you get Hatake Kakashi from Naruto, Raine Sage from Tales of Symphonia, Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter, Kuchiki Rukia from Bleach, Darth Vader from Star Wars, Bo-bobo from Bo-bobo Bobobo-bo and Winry Rockbell from Fullmetal Alchemist and send them on a quest to save the world? Crack, Crack Pairings, OOCness, wrench-throwing, Singing being triggered… Kakashi x Raine. WTF is CK smoking? O--o

Don't worry. She's not really smoking anything.

She was born this way.

Deal with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Tales of Symphonia, Harry Potter, Bleach, the Bleach detergent, Star Wars, Bo-bobo Bobobo-bo, Fullmetal Alchemist, any songs being sung, the idea for songs being triggered via someone saying something nor the word 'Strengthness.'

ON WITH THE STORY!

Chapter one: We got abducted!

It was a normal day as any for Kakashi.

If you count Sasuke whining about how his poptarts didn't toast right, Sakura kicking the shit out of a tree and Naruto wiggling around like some weird jelly-man, then it was perfectly normal. So normal, it was scary.

Kakashi closed the oh-so-famous Icha-Icha Paradise and told team seven to go home for the day.

"BUT, I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU MY WHOLE LIFE'S STORY, YET!" Sasuke shouted.

"You told me your life's story three weeks ago," Kakashi sighed, "For the fiftieth time. Next is the part where you go EMO."

"I'M NOT EMO!"

"You ARE Emo," Kakashi said.

"Well… well… YOUR FACE!" Sasuke shouted and then ran off, succeeding in tripping five times along the way.

"Sakura, stop gnawing on that tree – I told you to go home. Naruto – are you listening to Shakira?"

"NO!"

"Hips don't lie…" said the radio.

Kakashi just kinda stared.

And then he 1000-years-of-pain'd the radio and Naruto.

Kakashi was now alone. He opened his book and, where the next page of the book should've been, there was a shiny circle.

That grew.

And, like, engulfed Kakashi in yellow light, yo.

Ya dig?

All of a sudden, Kakashi was falling from the sky. He looked down to see the ground. Now, when the ground rushed up to meet him, it didn't hug him or shake his hand – it hit him in the face!

How DARE someone attack Kakashi!

And with DIRT nonetheless!

Oh, well.

His problem, not mine.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, over the rainbow, but not really because then that would mean that they were in the next country over, which they weren't, because they were actually in a parallel universe, there were some people that were vital to this plot.

Kinda like Sylvarant and Tethe'alla.

Which is where we're going now.

So, hop on the bus and let's get a move-on!

SHUT UP, BACK THERE!

STOP THROWING PAPER AIRPLANES OR I'LL MAKE YOU INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND THROW YOU!

And now we zoom off!

Raine Sage was showing the class how to put a y-intercept equation into Ax plus By equals C form.

It wasn't going very well.

"Duh," Colette Brunel said dumbly, raising her hand, "Where'd the four come from again?"

"That is the slope," Raine said, "We go four up and one over because it is a positive slope."

"Why not go two up and six over?" Colette asked, "I like two and six."

"Because two sixths is NOT the slope!" Raine said, exasperated.

How Colette had managed to get into her Algebra class was beyond Raine.

Oh, that's right.

Raine is the only teacher in the WHOLE. STINKING. VILLAGE.

"So, what's the seven?"

"That's the y-intercept!" Raine said.

"I thought Y was the y-intercept!"

"GAH!" Raine shouted, "CLASS DISMISSED! COLETTE, YOU FAIL! YOU FAIL AT ALL OF MY CLASSES AND LIFE! YOU FAIL SO BAD YOU FAIL AT DYING! GO DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH ANYWAY, JUMP OFF A CLIFF OR SOMETHING – PREFERABLY RESULTING IN YOU DYING WITHOUT FAIL, YOU FAILING FAILURE!"

"But, I'm the chosen of—"

"NOBODY GIVES A SHIT! God, I-I mean, Martel!" Raine said.

The class ran out as if they were being chased by a rabid dog.

Except Colette.

She just stood there like the idiot she is.

"Duhhh… Is class over?" Colette said.

"COLETTE. GET YOUR SORRY ASS OVER HERE OR YOU'RE GONNA DIE!" Genis shouted

"Why not just let her die?" Lloyd asked.

"Good point. RUN, LLOYD! RUN BEFORE SHE BEGS US TO SAVE HER!" and the two ran.

Colette just frolicked out of the room. Raine sat down at the desk and rubbed her temples.

"Good God… I mean Martel…" she said. She turned to stand up, even though she only just sat down, and looked at the board.

It was shiny.

And yellow.

It made Raine disappear.

It made Raine fall from the sky.

It made Raine fall to the ground.

It hurt.

The ground doesn't make for a good welcome committee, does it?

Oh, well!

Let's go visit Malfoy!

Malfoy was pacing in his room.

What should he sing?

He'd sung every song he knew!

Well, not including SOME songs…

But, he didn't really want to sully his voice by singing those songs.

"DRACO! OPEN YOUR DOOR, RIGHT NOW, OR YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOT COMING OVER!" His mom shouted

"WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS? WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?" Draco sang.

"OPEN. THE. DOOR."

"STOP. ABUSING. CAPSLOCK."

"IT'S THE AUTHOR'S FAULT. NOW, OPEN THE DOOR!"

"NO."

"YES."

"NO."

"YES."

"YES."

"NO."

"HAH! REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY!" Malfoy shouted.

He sat down smugly.

He then decided to read a book.

Just some random book.

Yep.

It just so happened to be that this random book was randomly beside his random bed on some random desk that wasn't even there to begin with. This random book also randomly had that random, yellow, glowing circle that randomly grew to randomly suck in random people and randomly transport them to some random world to randomly fall from some random sky and randomly meet some random bit of random ground.

Randomly.

As for our next person, it was originally in the script for Rukia to appear, but they're having some technical difficulties.

None of which Rukia knows about.

She'll figure it out somehow.

Let's see how Darth Vader is doing.

"Yes, that's evil, yes… hehhh heh! No, that doesn't work… How about hehehe! No… Heh heh! ARG!" Vader said, "IT SAID ON THE INTERNET THAT STUPID EVIL LAUGH WAS EASY TO MASTER!"

"Uh, Lord Va—"

"SHUT UP, MINION!" Vader said, "Hmm… since that laughing idea went out the window, let's spin around!" he spun the chair around, "WHEEEEEEEEEE!!" And it started to spin faster, which it wasn't programmed to do, seeing as it could cause a yellow circle that grew to engulf whoever was spinning in the chair and transport them to a parallel world to meet the evil ground.

Hmm, this sounds a bit too much like Malfoy's transportation, doesn't it?

Oh, well! You can ignore that fact.

Because it seems that the soul society is back with breaking news!

THEY HAVE YOUR PANTS.

Uh…

(You, as a reader, hear scribbling)

There we go.

THEY HAVE YOUR DVD BOXED SET OF -insert anime title here-!

WHO WROTE THAT?!

WHATEVER! LET'S GET ON WITH THE STORY!

Rukia was patiently waiting for Kon to stop being an idiot and get into the stupid backpack.

"GET INTO THE STUPID BACKPACK, KON!!" Rukia shouted, "HURRY UP! I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!"

Okay, nearly patiently.

"BUT, RUUUUKIAAAAA! I SENSE A GREAT DISTURBANCE IN THE FOOOOORCE!"

"YOU IDIOT! THEY ALREADY SHOWED STAR WARS! THAT'S JUST GAS!"

"NORMAL STUFFED ANIMALS DON'T HAVE GAS!"

"YOU'RE NOT A NORMAL STUFFED ANIMAL!"

And with a final shove, Rukia succeeded in forcing Kon into the backpack and zipping it, then taping it with duct tape.

Rukia sighed in annoyance and went back to Ichigo's house.

She put Kon in the closet.

She closed the closet door.

She turned around and saw…

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM!

And you thought it was gonna be that shiny circle thing, din'cha?

Naw, that comes later!

Like… in a few seconds!

Because, in approximately a few seconds, the shiny circle thing appeared on the other side of the room!

And Rukia was like, 'Imma ditch this joint' and ran into the shiny circle.

And the circle was like, 'OMFG!ENGULF!'

And Rukia was like, 'LOL!IGETSENTTOANOTHERWORLDWITHOUTTHESPACEBAR!'

She, unlike the many three before her, was great friends with the ground.

So, she landed gracefully.

But, that's irrelevant to the situation.

Bo-bobo bobobo-bo, meanwhile, was sitting.

Doing Yoga.

A demon cow came out and ran in circles.

The mighty hero, Bo-bobo, did nothing.

The demon cow, whom I will call Pedro because like hell I'm gonna type out "the demon cow," continued to run in circles.

The mighty hero, Bo-bobo, did nothing.

Still.

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, A GUITAR CAME OUTTA NOWHERES AND LANDED IN BO-BOBO'S 'FRO!

The mighty hero, Bo-bobo, did…

Nothing.

AGAIN.

But, then he did something.

He yawned.

And then, he went back to doing nothing.

And then, he raised his hands up to the sky.

And then, he said something incomprehensible.

And then, he noticed the author was using 'and then' too much.

Next, he shouted, "I AM A BUTTERFLY! PLEASE ACCEPT GUITAR AS A SACRIFICE!"

And then, he pulled the guitar out of his 'fro and whacked Pedro (the demon cow, remember?) over the head.

Poor Pedro then pointed a finger at Bo-bobo, "YOU DARE HIT ME WITH THAT? THEN I SHALL HIT YOU WITH THIS!"

He began to spin in circles, much like Neji's "heavenly spin".

Only not.

But, anyway, he stopped spinning and said, "TAKE THIS! THE 'BEETCH, YOU'S GONNA BE DED!' VACUUM!"

Bo-bobo stared.

"You still do not know the name of this guitar, do you, Pedro?" Bo-bobo said, "It's the 'BEETCH, YOU'S GONNA BE DEDDER THAN DED!' guitar!"

Pedro's eyes widened.

Pedro clapped his hands – er… hooves? – together and waved them around before slapping them on the ground.

Then, a shiny circle opened and— you know the drill…

Let's go through the gate to Amestris, now.

One at a time, please.

Payment is to be made to The Truth over there.

He prefers arms and legs.

But, you can give him your head if you want.

Anyway, Winry Rockbell was fixing some guy's atumail when she noticed a typo in the script.

"OMG!" She omg'd, "THERE'S A TYPO IN THE SCRIPT!"

She scribbled out 'atumail' and wrote 'automail that owns your ass' in its place.

She smiled, satisified.

She told the guy to leave and he disappeared.

Literally.

PLOT HOLE!

Naw, not really.

He just evaporated.

Anyway, just like before, a shiny circle appeared and engulfed Winry, thus making her fall from the sky like all of the other people before her.

Though, she didn't land on the ground.

She landed on people.

Which broke her fall.

Just because she felt like it, she chucked a wrench at someone.

Which, instead of knocking them out, it woke them up.

It happened to be Kakashi.

And since everything always goes so well, everyone immediately woke up.

Except Rukia.

She was already awake.

Because I said so.

"What happened last night…?" Kakashi asked no-one in particular.

"Your MOM happened last night," Malfoy muttered.

"My mom is dead,"

"Your mom is old,"

"So she is…" Kakashi said.

They both shrugged.

"I have the feeling that, in a moment, we're going to know exactly what's going on because the author is lazy," Raine asked.

"How do you know that?" Vader asked.

"Woman's intu—" Raine started, "No, wait. I'm psychic."

"OMG!" Vader omg'd, doing his LOLVictoryPose, "I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON! WE HAVE TO SAVE THE CHICKENS!"

And everyone was like, -staaaaare-

And Vader was still like, -LOLVictoryPose-

"Idiot, we have to save the world," Rukia said.

"From what, though?" Winry asked.

"The Hair Hunt Troops!" Bo-bobo said, saying something for the first time since everyone woke up.

"No, the Akatsuki," Kakashi said

"Homunculi!" Winry shouted

"Hollows!" Rukia argued.

"Me?" Vader suggested.

"Voldemort," Malfoy said.

"Cruxis!" Raine yelled.

"What if they're all working together?" Winry asked

"Idiot, then Vader wouldn't be here!" Raine said.

"Good point…"

"I KNOW!" Vader shouted, "We have to save the world from… from… uh… That one guy!"

"Oh, that's specific," Malfoy said sarcastically

"Shut up, you!"

"Make me!"

"I will!"

"YOU ONLY HAVE WEAKNESSES!" Malfoy shouted, "YOU HAVE NO STRENGTHNESSES!"

"YOU GOT THAT FROM ANOTHER FANFIC!" Vader shouted back.

Malfoy gasped.

"GASP!" Malfoy said.

"GASP!" went everyone else except Vader.

"GASP!" Went the author.

"GASP!" Went all of the people reading this fic.

"GASP!" went the whole world.

"GA—!"

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" Malfoy shouted.

Silence…

Malfoy sighed.

"It is true I got it from a fanfic, but it is also in the disclaimer!" He said.

Vader looked taken aback.

Well, we couldn't really tell because of the mask…

But, by the way he was standing, we kind of guessed.

So, Vader hopped out of the story, scrolled up to read the disclaimer and, sure enough, there it was…

"… nor the word 'strengthness.'" It said.

Vader scrolled back down and hopped back into the story.

"I apologize," He apologized apologetically.

Malfoy nodded, showing he accepted the apology that Vader had said in an apologetic kind of way.

"CUT IT WITH THE 'APOLOGIZING' SHIT!" the reader, in this case you, shouted.

"So, who were you talking about, Vader?" Kakashi asked

"I TOLD YOU! THAT ONE GUY!"

"WHICH GUY?! THERE ARE A BILLION OF 'EM!" Rukia said, "YOU COULD MEAN MICHAEL JACKSON FOR ALL WE KNOW!"

"No, that's not him," Vader said dismissively, "It's, like... an eyeball,"

"Sauron…?" Winry tried.

"Yeah,"

"He was defeated last week," Bo-bobo said.

"Oh…"

"It's WUYA, isn't it?!" Kakashi shouted

"OMG!" Everyone omg'd, "NO WAY!"

"Yeah, I didn't think so, either…" Kakashi said.

"IT'S THE MARY-SUE AND GARY-STU CLANS!" Ruka shouted.

And thus their journey began.

TO BE CONTINUED…

BECAUSE I SAID SO…

THIS FONT IS ANNOYING…

BUT IT'S FUN TO WRITE IN…

OMFG…

LOOK, IT'S JACK SPARROW…

WHY IS HE DOING LAUNDRY…?

And now, it's time for AUTHOR'S COMMENTS...

Do you guys like this? Is it shit? do you have Ideas? would you like to share them? I'll mention you before the chapters

DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS FOR THE CHARACTERS?!