"Let's do this." Becky sighed, as she opened the door to her car. The cold wind hit her face as she got out. She smiled up at the building in front of her. This time was different. She had been here many times before, but never for this.

Becky pulled open the door and walked inside. A receptionist smiled at her, "Hi, are you here for an appointment?"

"Yep."

"And you've been here before?"

She smiled and nodded, "Just never for this. First baby."

Soon, she was whisked to the back into a cold exam room. Becky removed her jacket as the nurse placed the blood pressure cuff over her arm.

Finally, Dr Porter came in. Becky had seen her several times, but never for this reason.

"Hi Becky...how are you doing?"

"I'm good...I'm really nauseous..."

"Well that's pretty normal!" The doctor replied, reviewing her chart. "Looks like you lost just a little bit of weight...about two pounds..."

"Oh. Is that okay? I mean, shouldn't I be gaining weight right now?"

"Well, obviously during pregnancy, we expect that you'll gain weight, but during these first few months, it's okay if you lose a little. As long as you don't lose much more, I'm not worried about it...I'm going to have you lie down and we'll do an ultrasound..."

Becky laid down and gently lifted her shirt. She flinched a little as the cold gel hit her stomach. The doctor placed the wand over her and slowly began moving it.

"See the two little white circles?"

"Yeah."

"This one is the sac. And this one...that is your baby."

"Oh my god." Becky replied, through tears, "Awww! It's so tiny right now! It's like the size of a bean."

"Yeah, judging from this I would say you're about seven weeks pregnant. Congratulations. I'll make sure that you leave today with a paper that has your estimated due date on it."

The doctor unplugged the machine, then began to write in her chart.

"Becky, are you still drinking alcohol?"

"No, I stopped drinking cold turkey the minute I saw that test was positive."

"Becky, I need you to be honest with me."

"Uh...okay?"

"When was the last time you've had a drink?"

"Six days ago." Becky replied, "But as soon as I found out, I stopped. This baby is a miracle, I would never do anything that could harm it."

"How often would you drink, before you took that test?"

"Everyday. Multiple times a day." Becky admitted, "Look, I know I have a problem, but-"

"Becky..." the doctor cut her off. "Have you ever heard of fetal alcohol syndrome?"

"What is that?"

"Fetal alcohol syndrome affects babies whose mother drank alcohol during pregnancy. The most common signs are low birth weight, problems with sight and hearing, poor coordination, lack of intelligence, and behavioral problems."

"But you're not saying that it's affecting my baby...are you?"

"It's too early to know."

"So is there a cure?"

The doctor shook her head as Becky felt the tears filling her eyes.

On her way out, Becky was handed some paperwork and an appointment card. She could barely see the key fob to her car as she sobbed. She placed one hand over her flat stomach. "Hey little guy..or girl..it's me, mom."

"I'm really sorry. If I would've had any idea I was pregnant, I wouldn't have had a single drink this whole time."

"More than ever I'm realizing how much I need help."

"I started drinking after I lost my husband, Mark. We had planned on spending our whole lives together. We were trying to have kids. I was taking prenatal vitamins and doing everything that you're supposed to do before you get pregnant. But we weren't getting pregnant. Then, Mark died, and suddenly I was alone. And I didn't know how to cope with being alone when I had planned to spend the rest of my life with Mark. So one night, a friend took me out and I had a few drinks, and my pain disappeared. Ever since that night, I've just been trying to make my pain disappear."

"it's only been six days, but I've been so excited about being a mom, I haven't even thought about a drink. I'm going to get help. I have to get help. I can't be the mom you deserve unless I get help."