I am so sorry that I keep changing this. I just want to make it better. This will be my last change of this first chapter. Not much has changed. Thank you for being patient. I really do appreciate it. Please review. Thanks

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Prologue

I am undoubtedly a damned creature. I am something that God, I am sure, never intended to create, if he even created us at all. I am sure he would abolish our very existence.

I have no soul. I am nothing but a monster. I have no heartbeat, it is only cold venom which flows through my veins. My heart has long since been stilled.

I am a vampire.

I am the one thing humans are so sure is just a myth. Something which was made-up to give little kids nightmares. But, we are real. We are very real.

If there is a God, surely He would bestow some mercy upon me after a century's worth of penance for my sins, my way of life, my very existence. I have come to the conclusion that no such God exists. There are no angels, and certainly no pearly white gates to greet you as you make your way into heaven. This world is nothing but a dimension in which to waste your existence, hoping for an absolution that will never come, believing in what will only let you down.

I am an exceptionally dark creature. selfish by nature. After a century of loneliness that has left my dead heart empty, I have simply given up on love. No monster should be allowed love. But, when I look at my family, I am given a little hope. I will allow myself that much. If they can love then surely so can I. I have seen the love they have for their mates. I have watched it through their eyes. I can see it with every look they cast to the ones they love. That is what I most long for.

Love will never find a monster like me.

None of heaven's creatures could melt my cold heart; break it down, allowing me to feel that human emotion for which I so desperately long.

I really don't know why I long to feel love. I guess I just truly wish my life to be different. I want to want and feel something so completely foreign to me and have it knock me on my ass. I want to know that after all, another creature can love me.

I want my feelings and beliefs tested. I want to second-guess myself and everything upon which I have built my entire existence around. I want to not worry. I long for my existence to have meaning. I am through with just living for myself.

Who knew that I would get my chance to have everything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever longed for?

The story I am about to tell you will make you question everything you have thought to never exist. You will see how I perceive love. You will live it through me. You will see love blossom in ways you never thought a creature like me was capable of.

My name is Edward Cullen, and I am going to take you through the last ten years of my life. The last ten years that have shaped the man I am today. The last ten years that have been the happiest of my entire existence. I have many more to look forward to as well.

This is the story of a true love against all odds. This is the story of my Bella and me--a glimpse into our love and our life.

And so I shall begin.

I am going to take you back to the autumn of 2005.

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It was a rather unusually warm night in Forks, Washington, and I found myself searching for an escape. I wanted nothing more than to be away from my family. I just wanted a break. I needed it. The only place that I could find such an escape was in my meadow.

No thoughts other than my own could bombard my brain there. I reveled in the silence.

Were I not an eternal, sleepless creature, the sound of the stream slowly running through my meadow could certainly have lulled me to sleep. I was relaxed. Nothing but me, the trees and the birds. I felt so free, so at peace.

I lay there on the soft grass and closed my eyes. I was enjoying the pleasant sounds of nature, but most of all enjoying the absence of others' thoughts in my head.

The sun was slowly beginning to set. I leisurely sat up, getting ready to head back home when I saw something fall through the trees. I heard the thud when the object hit the ground.

I found my body hesitant to will itself to move. Something deep inside of me told me to move forward--that whatever it was would surely not cause me any harm. I was immortal after all.

I tried in vain to see if I could read any thoughts on whatever was out there. I got absolutely nothing. That had never happened to me before. I'd always been able to read the mind of anyone I've come across. I couldn't read the thoughts of animals, however, so perhaps that's what this was.

I couldn't help but laugh at myself. There I was, a nearly indestructible, hesitant to see what had fallen from a tree in a peaceful meadow.

As I moved closer I discounted the animal theory. I could hear its breath. I could smell the blood that ran through it's veins.

Whatever this creature was, it was injured but mending. The smell of it's blood was so sweet--so impossibly sweet. I had never in my entire existence smelled something so strong. This creature was calling me to it. It wanted to be found, I wanted to run. The monster in me wanted nothing more than to devour that sweet, sweet blood.

I held my breath and slowly pressed on.

Finally, in a clearing I could see the outline of a body. Definitely human, I was sure now. I hovered over the creature. I looked down, and the vision that assaulted my eyes was absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful.

This creature was a woman, a very young woman. Her slender body lay still upon the ground, her long brown hair spread across the grass. The only movement this creature made was the rise and fall of her chest as she took in shallow breath after shallow breath. Her lips held a perfect shape.

All of a sudden I had an unexplainable urge to kiss this beautiful girl. I could not allow that; not while the sweet nectar that was her blood calling to me. I would most likely kill her. That very thought had crossed my mind a thousand times while I stood over her beautiful form, staring and resisting.

I was startled to see the striking creature below me slowly begin to open her eyes. They were a chocolate ocean, so deep and dark. I could drown in them forever, never returning to the surface. I would be fine with that. This beauty captivated me. I couldn't turn away. Not now, not ever.

She was beginning to sit up. I bent down and placed my hand on her upper back to help her. I swear I felt a strong, burning kind of electric feeling as I gently touched her. I pulled her up so she could stand on her own.

I looked down at her feet and saw that she wore no shoes. My keen eyes noted a lone white feather on the ground beside her left foot.

The stunning woman was dressed all in white.

She looked up at me with those doe eyes and, amazingly, she did not flee. Instead she spoke. "You are a vampire. You must be Edward Anthony Cullen?" Her voice was so soft and sweet. I was instantly mesmerized.

How this creature knew what I was, much less my name, I did not know. Something told me that my secret was safe with her. The creature would never tell another soul.

I looked up at her, glancing up and down her body. I stepped closer and still she did not move away. I looked into her eyes. Not a hint of fear.

"Yes, I am a vampire. And yes, my name is Edward Cullen," I said. "How did you know?"

The creature looked up at the night sky, her eyes moving from one star to another. Then her gaze fell upon me once again. She smiled at me and whispered, "I just know." It was as simple as that.

I watched as the creature bent down to pick up the white feather. She gently placed it in my hands. Once my fingers caressed the feather, it disintegrated into a pile of ash. I stood there, facing this being in nothing but complete amazement and wonder. Who, or what, was she?

The beautiful girl was walking now, toward my meadow. She called back to me, "My name, Edward, is Isabella. But, you may call me Bella." Isabella smiled then and all thought fled my mind.

Bella. Beautiful. This creature most certainly lived up to her name. She was beyond beautiful. She was gorgeous.

"What are you?"

Bella stopped walking and turned around to face me, a shocked expression gracing her lovely face. "I thought that you would have me figured out by now, Mr. Cullen. Surely you must be able to read my mind? I am an angel. I am your angel. I was sent here for you." My Angel's eyes searched mine, as if, making sure that what she had just said sunk in.

My jaw dropped and I closed my mouth again. Why would a vampire need an angel?

How could angels exist if no God existed? I was surely denying the existence of heaven and hell. Good versus evil.

No angel should have to protect one of the damned. Surely I did not deserve to be in the presence of such a creature. Why, or rather how, could an angel protect me?

If God and angels existed, then I would have been saved from this damned life that had been cast upon me. Don't get me wrong, I didn't regret it. I just sometimes wished that I had a choice, a choice between life and death. I was living a half life.

I stole a glance over at my angel. She was smiling.

My mind was thinking a thousand thoughts all at once. I did not know what theory I should even believe. To be honest, I could not even pick out one rational explanation. My thoughts were a jumbled mess. How can she be real? If only I could read her mind; then I would have all my answers laid out before me.

I felt a small hand grasp onto my shoulder and shake me a little. "Edward, are you okay? You seem deep in thought," my angel said as her eyes made contact with mine. How could I answer her? How did I tell her I didn't even believe in her? I guessed I would just have to be blunt.

"How can you be real when surely God does not exist? Why are you watching over me? I am damned. Surely angels are not meant to watch over the damned," I said, while I watched for my angel's reaction.

She squeezed my shoulder a little tighter and looked into my eyes. "You may have died in 1918 Edward, but your soul never left. Therefore, I can't ever leave your side. As for believing whether I am real or not, or even in the very existence of God, I guess you will just have to figure that out for yourself. I've got all the time in the world." My angel was smiling that beautiful smile again and for a moment she made me forget all my thoughts, all my worries. The only thing that seemed to remain were my feelings. I would just have to sift through those later.

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