A monkey's baby

Once Upon a Time

Emma/ Killian

Emma finds out that she might be pregnant from Walsh. My take on what her reaction could be.

A second part will come in which she'll decide if she keeps it or not and if she tells anyone else about it or not.

Starts the day after Neal's burial.

Give me your opinion on what you want to see happening in the second part of the story!

Labelled as Complete because it can be considered over.

Lorelei Candice Black


Emma had been back in Storybrook for a week.

One week to discover who they were up against, to find Neal, to lose him and to realize that the Wicked witch seemed to have vanished.

One week of doing her best to resist opening up too much to anyone. Not to her parents, who had left her behind a second time, or to Hook, who was always there for her and made it very hard not to open up and let him in her heart.

One week with the memory of Walsh turning into a flying monkey, showing her that once more, she had given her love and her trust to the wrong person.

If her memories and heart break weren't bad enough, Hook seemed rather happy to remind her every chance he got of her mistake, of the fact that she had almost married a fling monkey. She got why he did it of course, he was hurt that while she resisted him, she had fallen for someone else and since he could make fun of it, he did, but still. Her own mind was enough to remind her of her mistake and to use it to torture her.

Every night she would dream of Walsh, the way they met, his insistence to see her again, the ease with which he won her over... It was like every time she closed her eyes to get some rest, her mind analysed everything they did together to try and understand it, understand why shad had fallen, why she hadn't guessed there was something wrong with him when she usually had such a great instinct. She should have seen through his lies sooner but she didn't and now she was left with her guilt for falling for a minion of the new super villain that was trying to destroy her family...

For the past two mornings, Emma had woken up only to run to the bathroom and throw up. Throughout the entire day, smells would make her stomach turn, she would get dizzy sometimes...

She tried to convince herself that she was only throwing up because she was disgusted at herself for being in a relationship for over 8 months with a flying monkey but there was something else, like a truth trying to surface in her mind, a truth that she forced away.

Something to do with the date, with something that was missing that she refused to acknowledge, refusing to admit what was happening, hoping it would get away on its own.

"Are you feeling okay mom?" Henry asked her.

"Yeah... I probably ate something bad..." She waved it off, going to brush her teeth.

She tried to hide it from her son but she forgot how smart he was. Trying to hide this from him would be like trying to hide the sun or something.

"We ate the same thing and you've been sick for a few days now... Maybe you should go and see a doctor..." Henry suggested.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I feel better already." She smiled at him, trying her best to hide her true distress.

"Okay, if you say so... What are the plans for today anyway?" He asked her.

"Well, I have to go and look for the person who killed your father but I don't want to leave you alone... You had fun with Killian, right?" She asked him.

"Yes, he's cool and fun. I like spending time with him. But don't you need him?" Henry was curious, he had been under the impression that Killian was helping his mother, always by her side.

"What I need is to know that you're safe. I trust him for that." She replied.

"Well, I'll be happy to spend the day with him. He said he'd teach me how to win in a game of dice." Henry smiled.

"Good. Then get ready. He'll meet us for breakfast downstairs in a few minutes." She replied, knowing that it would take more distraction to make Henry forget that she had thrown up again.

As they walked down the stairs, Emma tried to ignore the growing smell of coffee that made her sick to her stomach. Deep down, she knew that she wasn't sick, it wasn't a virus that troubled her this much, not really. She was late but refused to even consider the obvious. She couldn't admit it. She'd rather learn that she had some incurable form of cancer rather than admit that maybe, just maybe, she was pregnant with Walsh's baby. With a monkey's baby... a monster's child.

.

After they ate breakfast, Emma left the dinner, knowing that Killian would keep her son safe, that she could trust him.

"Something bothering you mate?" Killian asked Henry after a few minutes of the boy frowning in the direction his mother left.

"Mom is hiding something from me..." He replied, turning to look at his mother's strange but fun friend.

"We talked about it yesterday mate, she's just trying to protect you."

"No, I know... I'm not talking about the work she came to do... It's something else." Henry shook his head.

"What do you mean?" Killian asked, curious at how worried the young boy looked.

"She's been throwing up a lot lately... She brushed it off, saying that it was something she ate when I asked her about it but we eat here every meal and nobody else is sick..." Henry confessed.

"You think she's sick?" Killian asked him.

"Maybe... I just wished she's go to a doctor or tell me what's going on... She just pretends it's nothing and tells me she's fine... then she tries to distract me." Henry looked really worried and Killian decided to take matter into his own hands.

"I'll try and talk to her later if you want." Killian assured him.

"Really, you'd do that?"

"Aye. I don't want her to get too sick either." The pirate nodded and immediately, Henry relaxed.

It warmed Killian's heart to see how much Henry trusted him already. Maybe there was hope for him and Emma, if he could win over her son, maybe he could win over the mother as well.

.

When Killian and Henry ran into Snow later that morning, the pregnant woman told them that her husband was with Emma at the station and Killian offered to go and help them if she kept an eye on Henry. Of course the pregnant princess agreed and told him she'd take Henry with her to Gold's where she was planning on helping Belle sorting through some old books. Henry would be able to do his homework in his grandfather's office while they looked through magic books.

Killian left them and rushed to join Emma and David at the station where they were listing what they already knew about Zelena and what they didn't know about her, hoping to find something they could use. Regina was supposed to come and help them but she was too busy in her newly found love, Robin Hood.

"Killian, what are you doing here? Where's Henry?" Emma asked him.

"He's with your mother, she wanted to spend some time with him. I left them with Belle at the shop. I assure you he's safe." Killian replied.

"Oh, okay..." Emma nodded.

"Well, it's good that you're here. There was just a call. Doc swore he saw a flying monkey in his back yard and he thinks it's Bashful trying to get some help. I'll go and check it out. You can stay here and help Emma figure out what else we know about Zelena." David said before he left the station.

"How are you feeling Swan?" Killian asked her as soon as David left the station.

"I'm fine. Why?" She had a bad feeling about his question.

"Henry is worried about you... He told me you've been sick a lot lately... I told him I'd try to talk to you about going to see a doctor..."

"You sound like it's not what you're going to do..." She guessed.

"I'm not a 12 year old boy Swan... I see how you pale when certain smell come around you... Are you... Are you with child?" He asked her as tactfully as he could and she sat down, as if tired all of the sudden.

"I don't know... I've been trying to ignore the problem for a week now, hoping it'd go away on it's own... I can't be pregnant Killian... not now... Not with HIS child... Just the thought of it makes me sick..." Emma told him and in front of him, she left her walls down enough to cry.

Killian rushed to take her in his arms.

"Wouldn't it be better to know rather than torture yourself with a possibility? Wouldn't you rather be sure?" He asked her.

"What if it's positive? What if I really am pregnant? What do I do? I can't give up another child but would I be able to love the child of the man who used me and manipulated me to keep me away from my family?" She asked him.

"I have no idea, Love. What I do know is that you're not alone. And I think you need to know if you are pregnant. Back in our realms, I heard of plants women could take to get rid of an unwanted child... Maybe there are similar solutions in this realm..." He suggested.

"But wouldn't it make me evil?" She asked him in a small voice.

"Never. Swan... Emma, if deep down you feel like you won't be able to love this child, it might be best to get rid of it. But you need to be sure. Let me take you to the hospital. We'll have the doctor look at you..." He offered.

"No! Not here! I don't care about patient-doctor confidentiality, if I go in there, everyone will know... Word will spread like wildfire... I can't go in there... I... no... Not here." She exclaimed.

"Well, you can leave town without a monkey attacking you so you can always go to Boston, right?" He suggested.

"Will you come with me?" She asked him, her voice so small that Killian wouldn't have heard her if he hadn't been holding her.

"If you want me to come, I will."

"Thank you."

"What do we tell everyone else?" He asked her.

"I'll just call David and tell him I'm following a trail with you. We should be back in time for dinner. Nobody will know we even left town." She explained and he nodded.

.

They had been in the car for about 15 minutes when Emma asked Killian:

"You're not going to try and convince me to tell my parents what's going on?" She asked him.

"I'm sure you'll do what's right eventually Swan." He replied.

"You have so much faith in me... It's unsettling sometimes..." She confessed.

"I... I just want you to be happy, Swan. I'm not about to go around judging you, especially with the life I've lead. I'll be on your side, no matter what you decide to do." He told her.

"Because you love me?" She asked him, here eyes on the road.

"Aye. Because I love you." He smiled, knowing that the fact that she was even addressing the issue meant that she was starting to accept it.

The rest of the drive was silent, all that was heard was the radio.

When they arrived at the hospital, Emma guided Killian to the right section and she asked to see a doctor. She didn't have an appointment but managed to talk her way up the list and she ended up with only about 30 minutes to an hour left to wait before she could get confirmation of her fears.

As she sat in the waiting room with Killian by her side, Emma couldn't help but think of different possible scenarios.

If she was, indeed, pregnant with Walsh's child and she ended up deciding to keep it, would it be human or monkey? What if it was some sort of weird hybrid that could turn into a human and into a monkey whenever it wanted? Let's say this child was human and normal, what would she tell him or her when he or she asked about their father?

The truth?

"Your father was a manipulative flying monkey minion of the wicked witch Zelena that made me fall in love with him and manipulated me because he wanted to prevent me from saving my family and defeating Zelena."

What it they asked what happened to him? Would she just tell her child that she had to kill him? Was he even dead?

"Oh, well, when I told you father I couldn't marry him, he turned into a flying monkey and tried to kill me so I hit him and threw him off a building. He disappeared in a cloud of smoke so I think he's dead but who knows? He might still be alive somewhere."

Killian's good hand holding her shaking one reassured her. He was there for her. Out of all the things he could be doing, he decided to come with her to see a woman's doctor all the way to Boston just so she wasn't alone. He assured her he would support her, no matter what her decision was and she believed him.

"What if I'm pregnant and I keep it, will I be able to raise it on my own?" She whispered.

"You won't be alone Swan, you know that." He replied, squeezing her hand softly.

In the tone he used, she felt that he didn't only mean her parents and her friends, but also himself.

"I wanted to go back to New York after defeating Zelena... I wanted a normal life for Henry..."

"This child won't change that. Don't get me wrong, I think you going back to New York is just you running away because you're afraid of your parents and everyone leaving you again and I think it's a mistake, I think Storybrook is and always will be your home. But if you really want to go back to New York, you won't be alone either." he told her.

"My parents can't leave Storybrook." She whispered.

"I wasn't talking about them. I came back for you Swan. I'm not about to give up because you leave town. No matter what happens, I'll be there for you." He promised her and it brought tears to her eyes to feel his dedication to her.

"I... Thank you." Was all she could reply.

He understood her situation though and simply squeezed his hand once more. He could feel that she was close to opening up to him and to admit to herself that she loved him.

.

When the nurse called Emma, Killian was getting ready to stay behind and wait for her, not sure he was ready to see what he would see if he came along and willing to give the lady of his heart some privacy but Emma, feeling more insecure than ever, kept his hand in hers and pulled him with her. When the doctor assumed he was the father, Emma didn't deny it and let her think it. Killian played along, his only desire to please Emma and help her through this difficult time.

The appointment lasted half an hour and the sonogram revealed what Emma feared most: she was, indeed, pregnant.

They left the hospital in silence, it was as if Emma was grieving the loss of something.

Seeing her like this, Killian felt bad and wished he could do something to ease her pain but there wasn't much he could do. He couldn't even drive her car for her.

"Swan... Whatever you decide, I'm here, you know that right?" He asked her.

"I do... Thank you Killian." She smiled before she started her car and drove it back to Storybrook.

"Will you tell your parents?" he asked her as they saw the "Welcome to Storybrook" sign.

"I don't know... I... I'm..." She was looking for the right words.

"You're lost." He finished for her.

"I am... I really don't know what to do... According to the doctor, I'm already 12 weeks along... Soon it'll be too late for a legal procedure..." Emma whispered, as if afraid of being overheard by someone outside the moving car.

"There will always be a solution Swan. I can ask Smee to look into it if you want. He knows his way around." He offered.

"Smee? Will he keep the secret?" She asked him.

"He will if I'm the one asking it of him. He can be very loyal. I trust him." Killian nodded.

"I... I heard of a pill... RU 486... It's supposed to interrupt a pregnancy but I might have to go through a doctor to get it... I suppose having several options is always a good thing... I'm not saying I'll get rid of it but... I don't know if I'll be able to love it, given who its father is..." She replied.

"Don't worry, I'll talk to Smee as soon as we arrive. He'll be discreet and efficient."

"Thank you Killian... and thank you for coming with me today." She smiled.

"Anytime." He replied but deep down, he hoped that the next time he'd go with Emma to see a woman's doctor, it would be for his own child.

"We'll tell David that the trail we followed lead nowhere. Hopefully he won't ask too many questions." She said and he nodded.

"What about your boy, what will you tell him?" Killian asked her.

"I... I guess I have to tell him about this... It's just that... He doesn't know about Walsh being a flying monkey working for Zelena... He won't understand why I'm afraid I'll never love this child..."

"You can always tell him that you said no to Walsh because you found out he knew Neal was in trouble in Storybook and he knew that I was coming to ask for you help, that he was working with Zelena to keep you away, that he never loved you and was lying to you all along. That would work, right?" he suggested.

"I think so... yes." She nodded thoughtfully.

They were already in front of Granny's dinner. Emma parked her car in its usual spot and checked her phone. Her mother had texted her that she had taken Henry back to her apartment and so Emma walked over there while Killian told her that he was going to see Smee. He would see her later, if she wanted.

She did. She asked him to join Henry and her for dinner after she talked to her son about her discovery. He agreed, not willing to pass up an opportunity to spend time with the woman he loved enough to give up his ship.

.

Emma did her best to appear fine when she was in front of Mary-Margaret. When her mother invited them to stay for dinner, Emma refused politely, saying that they already had plan, but that they'd be happy to reschedule. She had played her part well enough because her mother didn't seem to notice how tortured Emma was feeling.

"You're okay mom?" Henry asked Emma as they walked toward the park.

"I... We need to talk, kid."

"Are you mad because I told Killian about you being sick this morning?" he asked her, a guilty face on.

"No, I'm not. I trust Killian. Don't worry about that." She reassured him before inviting her son to sit by her side on the same bench they sat on when she told him about Neal's death.

"What's going on mom?" he asked her.

"I... When Walsh proposed... I was going to say Yes until Killian arrived, telling me that Neal, your father, needed my help in this town. That someone was trying to hurt him and that I needed to come and help him, that he never really wanted to leave me but didn't have a choice... It's a long story that I'll tell you another time but... I decided to refuse Walsh's proposal, at least until I was done in this town... Walsh wasn't happy... I guess you could say that his true nature got out... he... he turned into a monster, telling me how he never loved me and was only trying to keep me in New York so I wouldn't go to Neal's rescue... He attacked me... Trying to kill me... I knocked him out, pushed him away and left..." Emma started, following Killian's advice.

She'd have time to tell her son the truth later, when he remembered everything.

"I thought he liked us... He played his part well... I'm sorry mom." Henry said, hugging his mother.

"I know kid... I know... Now, the reason I wanted to talk to you... The reason I've been throwing up so much lately... I didn't want to admit it and Killian convinced me to check it out... I... I'm pregnant." She confessed in a small voice, as if she was afraid of someone overhearing her and spreading the word, as if they were very dirty words she was ashamed to speak.

"With Walsh's baby?" Henry asked in an equally small voice.

"Yes..." Emma nodded.

"You don't sound too happy..." He noticed, not sounding overly excited himself, probably because his mother wasn't.

"I... Honestly, I'm not... I don't know if I'll be able to love this child, considering how much Walsh hurt me..." She tried to explain, hoping her son was mature enough to understand.

"Like how dad hurt you?"

"It's different Henry. Now I know that your father didn't have a choice but to leave us, he did it because he thought it was what was best and he didn't know about you. He did love me. Walsh didn't. He just used me, manipulated me..." She confessed, wondering if it was an appropriate talk to have with a 12 years old boy.

"What are you going to do then?" Henry asked her, understanding that his mother was considering ending things.

"Honestly? I don't know Henry... I don't want to carry it to term only to abandon it but I don't think I'll be able to love it either..."

"You want to abort it?" Henry asked her.

"Maybe... I don't know... I'm still considering things... I'm scared." She told her son truthfully.

"You know that if you decide to keep it, you won't be alone, right?" Henry asked her.

"I know Henry..." She nodded.

"I'm speaking about Killian. He loves you, it's obvious. He'll be there for you, I know it." Henry insisted.

"I know, he told me as much. He said that whatever I decided to do, he'd be there and help me." She smiled.

"Well, it's your decision mom. I want a brother or a sister, or several, but we have time. I'd rather you give me siblings with Killian. Or with someone you love."

"Would you be sad if I ended up deciding to... you know... make it go away?" She asked him.

"No, I'd understand. I don't think you told me everything about what happened between you and Walsh but I get that he hurt you and that you're afraid of him being able to get back into our lives. If you decide to get an abortion I'll understand and I'll be there for you mom. And if you decide to keep the baby I'll help as much as I can. And if Walsh comes back we can tell him it's not his child, maybe Killian will agree to say it's his or something." Henry offered.

"Thanks kid. Now, I'd like you to keep this a secret for now, okay? I'm just not ready for anyone else to find out about this." She asked her son who nodded, understanding that his mother wasn't ready to tell everyone she was having a monster's child.

As Emma walked back toward Granny's with her son by her side, she couldn't help but feel guilty about the way she felt for this child. After all, all newborn babies were innocent, right? This child she was carrying wasn't responsible for what its father did to her but then, why did it feel like she had something evil growing inside her?

She felt the same way for this coming baby as people with cancer probably felt about their tumor. Of course she felt horrible about the way she felt toward this unborn child. She should love it and want to give it a good and safe life but all she wanted was to get it away from her as soon as possible.

"It's going to be okay mom. Don't worry. Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one." Henry smiled at her, understanding her inside struggle.

"I hope so." She smiled back at him.

Keeping this child wouldn't really be for the best. If she could never bring herself to love it as she should, the child would feel it and next thing you know, she'd have given birth to the next villain of their little fairy tale.

She was lost. What she really needed before she made her decision, was talking with her parents, hoping that they wouldn't be anti abortion people and that they would advise her objectively, without judging her too much.


So, what did you think? How do you want it to end in the next chapter? Do you want Emma to decide to keep it or to get rid of it? Or to keep it and put it up to adoption?

Be honest and tell me what you think should happen.

Lorelei Candice Black