Hello all! Sorry for my long absence. Life's been busy. I hope you enjoy this tag to "Threads". I've been pretty nervous about posting it because Threads is such an important episode. Please let me know what you think.
As always, thanks to wackyjacqs for her wonderful Beta work. Catch up on her stories also!
Frayed
In her lab, Sam Carter paced anxiously. General O'Neill had practically forced her into some down time after her father's death, and here she was, only two days later. Sam knew it wouldn't be long before O'Neill discovered she was back at work and was already regretting showing up so soon. She knew he'd be annoyed at her and tell her she needed time away from work. When he'd first voiced those thoughts, she'd agreed, her heart weighed down by her dad's death. She'd wanted to go home, and knew she wouldn't be able to handle being in the place where she'd reconnected with her father.
Then, she was home, in an empty house, where the silence swiftly suffocated her. She couldn't handle being there either, forced to dwell on the fact that Jacob Carter was gone. There would be no miraculous cure from an alien species this time. He was forever departed from her life, and she'd never felt more alone.
On the first night at home, Sam had gone as far as dialing most of her brother's number before hanging up the phone. She'd already told him of their dad's recent death, and had promised to call again to talk more. But, he'd be there in just a few days with his family for the funeral, so she'd put down the phone. She and Mark weren't all that close anymore, and she had no idea what to say to him. Though a part of her was glad they were coming, she knew things would be tense with her brother. Though Mark and Jacob had reconciled, Sam knew he was now hurt that she and their Dad shared something that Mark couldn't be a part of, which only solidified his anger with the Air Force. So, she'd locked her doors, pulled down the shades and proceeded to wallow in her grief.
In a moment of pure, raw need, she had almost called Pete to come over and comfort her. She knew he'd be in the Springs until he could get transferred back to Denver, so it had tempted her. Sam knew she didn't really love him the way she should have, but they'd become comfortable, and she missed that. Though she'd finally realized that Pete was not the man for her, he'd been good to her. She'd had a life on this side of the Stargate for the first time since she'd been clued into its existence. Pete had been her opportunity to just be Sam again, but she couldn't marry the man when her only reason was to have a normal life. She knew she'd made the right decision in ending things. So, tempting as it was, she'd refrained from calling his familiar number. It had been hard, especially when she couldn't call the person she really wanted for comfort.
Sam had then considered calling O'Neill for a brief, desperate moment. Then, she was back in his yard, gaping at the woman coming out of his house, holding a bowl like she'd held it hundreds of times before. That had completely squelched her desire to speak with him. He'd obviously moved on, and she really had no right to expect him not to. She'd been engaged to another man after all.
Sam shook off her thoughts, knowing she really couldn't let them stray in that direction here on the base. She knew now, that nothing was going to change and she forced her feelings for a certain obstinate General back into that dark and dank corner of her heart, where they'd been festering for years. She would just have to learn to live with the pain of loving a man she could never have. Sam turned in relief when she heard Teal'c's voice at her door.
"Colonel Carter. We were informed you had returned. Are you well?" As she faced the door, Sam saw Daniel standing next to Teal'c and she smiled in relief to see them.
"Hey guys. Yeah, I'm ok. I just didn't want to be at home…dwelling…you know?" She shrugged, and looked at them, praying that neither one of them would want to delve any further into her feelings. Her relief grew when Teal'c nodded his head to her and Daniel plopped down into one of her chairs. The now twice descended man smiled at her.
"Sure Sam, that makes sense. I get not wanting to be alone." She watched as he paused and seemed to be preparing to continue. Sam flicked her gaze between the two men and arched an elegant eyebrow in question. At this, Teal'c brought a hand from behind his back and handed her a folder.
"The funeral arrangements you requested our assistance with Colonel Carter." Sam glanced down at the black folder, absently noticing that it was an appropriate color. She slid her thumb over the smooth surface.
"Oh. Well, thanks guys. I appreciate all you're doing. You know, Mark is too far away to get it planned in time, and with that whole Anubis thing that happened…I just didn't have much time." Sam bit back the tears she could feel welling in her eyes and looked up to see that Daniel had risen and was standing before her. At his look of complete understanding and compassion, she couldn't hold them in. Before even a few tears had graced her cheeks, Daniel had gathered her in his arms and she clutched at his jacket, the black folder falling to the floor. Sam cried silently on Daniel's shoulder and he simply held her until she was done. As she pulled away and wiped the remnants of her emotion away, Daniel stooped down and retrieved the forgotten folder. He set it on her lab table and grasped one of her trembling hands in his strong and steady ones.
"I know you probably don't want to deal with the details, but there are some numbers in there for you to call, and a few decisions to be made." When she nodded and gave a reassuring smile, he continued. "There's also a form in there that you need to fill out and give to the guys at the front entrance. It's Pete's clearance to come on base for the Tok'ra ceremony. I know he'll probably be at the funeral, but we figured he should be with you for the ceremony here too. Jack says you just need to fill it out and attach it to his original non-disclosure agre…"
"Daniel, stop." Sam held up a hand and halted his explanations. At his questioning look, she reluctantly explained.
"Pete's not coming. I broke up with him." She almost laughed when Daniel's mouth fell open and his hands dropped hers back to her side.
"What?! Ah…oh..Ummm. I'm really sorry Sam. Are you ok? Ah…why…well. I mean. Why'd you break up with him? Can I ask that?" He looked nervous about his questions and Sam decided to pull both men into the fold.
"Thanks Daniel. I am ok. It was the right thing to do, you know? I just realized that Pete is NOT who I want to spend my life with. He's great and lots of fun, but I can't marry him." She was glad when Teal'c spoke, knowing his comments would come out perfectly.
"Although I am not surprised Colonel Carter, I would like to inquire as to what has brought about this change in you." Sam rose her eyebrows at the first part of Teal'c's sentence, but then shrugged inwardly. She was pretty sure they both knew what she was about to tell them.
"I can't marry Pete because I'm in love with someone else. I just realized I needed to stop pretending I'm not." She herself wasn't surprised when Daniel bit back a grin.
"And this someone else, Sam? I don't suppose it's anyone we know. Like maybe a sarcastic, obnoxious, childlike man with eternally messed up hair?!" Even as she rolled her eyes at Daniel and blushed at his comment, she was relieved that they barreled over her news about Pete and moved on. Daniel must have noticed her blushing, because suddenly she was back in his arms, but this time he was hugging her excitedly and she heard him mutter 'Finally!' over her shoulder. She caught Teal'c's eye behind Daniel, and they exchanged a look that needed no words. Daniel apparently hadn't gotten the memo that the General was dating someone. As if his ears were burning, the General's familiar form appeared at the doorway.
"Hey kids! What's happening?" He leaned casually against the doorframe, but as Daniel let her go, grinned at her and turned to greet O'Neill, Sam saw the concern etched onto the General's face. Concern for her.
"Hey Jack. Nothing's happening really. We were just giving Sam the funeral stuff and we realized that she doesn't need ALL of those papers anymore." Sam gaped in astonishment as Daniel bulldozed through the conversation. He turned to the once more forgotten folder and pulled out the form that had been for Pete's clearance. "Since you don't need this clearance form, Sam, I'll just go shred it." She continued to gape as Daniel almost skipped out of her lab, smacking O'Neill on the shoulder as he bounded by.
The three friends left stood silently contemplating Daniel's uncharacteristic exit. It was several moments before O'Neill broke the silence.
"So…are we COMPLETELY sure that they put him back together correctly this time? I think he's losing a little in translation." When he spoke of 'they', the General waved his hand in the air above him and Sam snorted in amusement. Teal'c merely cocked his head to the side and began to exit himself.
"I will determine Daniel Jackson's location and…accompany him." Sam gave an awkward wave and turned to the General. Now that the comic moment had passed, she was utterly unprepared to face him. She decided to attempt a normal conversation, hoping that he hadn't heard too much before he'd entered her lab.
"So, Sir. What can I do for you? I know I'm not supposed to be back yet, but I'd really rather take care of the funeral details here and get some work done too. It was making me sad to be at home all alone and I just needed to be at work an.."
"Ach! Carter! It's fine. I kinda figured you wouldn't last long. Stop defending yourself. I'm not mad. And what do you mean alone? Wasn't Shanahan availab…" Sam watched in horror as a light came on in his eyes. "That's what Daniel meant about you not needing the form huh?" Sam grimaced in response, cursing the fact that he had picked this moment to quickly catch on instead of acting clueless to his surroundings. He seemed to be waiting for an answer and she opened her mouth to explain, wishing with every part of her that she could tell him this and have him be free also. Before she could speak, he beat her to it.
"Kerry dumped me." At her look of incredulity, he continued and she could actually feel the pain in her heart receding. "She said I have issues. Well, mostly just one. And anyway, it wasn't serious or anything. Just you know…someone to spend time with…" He awkwardly stopped talking and Sam decided to go for gold.
"What did she say that one issue is?" She nervously looked into his eyes, and gasped at the depth of feeling he was showing her. In a quieter and huskier voice than she'd ever heard from him, he answered.
"I'm in love with someone else…" He paused when she sucked in a breath, and just when she was starting to think maybe she wasn't that someone else, he spoke.
"I'm in love with YOU."
TBC in Chapter 2! Coming in two days. Thanks for reading. Hope you're enjoying : )
