(A/N)Well, you've managed to find the little parody that Kayla Sparrow and myself (-cough- Silvia X.) have decided to write together. Knowing us, this is sure to be chock full of fangirl humour and other pirate giggles. We hope that you enjoy reading this first chapter (if we haven't scared you off already). :D On you go.
Diclaimer:Kayla and I own ourselves. Because nobody else would want to.
Allergy To Pixie Dust
"…And then I said, 'That's not Weatherby Swann, that's my mother!'"
The words echoed around the large, empty theatre. A roar of laughter arose at this sentence after it had been spoken, reverberating through the rows of the once red velvet aligned chairs. It was fairly early in the afternoon, and three young women had just begun their appointed time slot at the campus theatre.
As students in the college's drama program, they were required to spend an appointed number of hours each week tending to the theatre, performing menial tasks such as assisting the prop and set builders, or folding programs for any upcoming production.
"Your mother doesn't look anything like Weatherby Swann, Silvia," huffed one of the teens. She tugged at the collar of her shirt, attempting to straighten the crinkled fabric. "Stop trying to be funny."
"But Maria," said another, "have you seen Silvia's mother without her wig?"
"Oh ha, ha, Kayla."
"Y'know what?" exclaimed the girl by the name of Silvia. She nudged Kayla, the girl sitting next to her, in the ribs, "She only wears it to keep her head warm!"
They both burst out laughing once again, falling back onto the wooden stage, shaking with apparent hysteria.
It was common knowledge to nearly everyone on the small, local campus that Silvia Xonia and Kayla Sparrow were, in short, obsessed with one single thing: Pirates of the Caribbean. Perhaps it was the fact that pictures of the characters were taped to every single one of their possessions, or maybe it was simply because they talked nonstop about it. And if one had paid a visit to their shared dorm, one would have been greeted with walls plastered, ceiling to floor, with Jack Sparrow posters, and a stereo blaring the soundtrack from one of the three movies. Their other friends were careful to avoid mentioning the popular trilogy, unless they desired a high-pitched scream and an onslaught of fevered ideas for a forth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The pair had even served several detentions for disrupting class with their shrieks and laughter. They just couldn't help themselves: it seemed like any moment spent ignoring Pirates was a waste of time. On more than one occasion, Kayla and Silvia had been, against their will, made to talk with a psychiatrist, who could find no solution to the problem.
Their obsession was so critical, in fact, that the two girls had earned themselves a nickname, known to teachers and students alike: the Piratical Sisters. Of course, the fact that they weren't actually sisters was of no importance, because by now, everybody who knew them called them that way. Instead of being offended, however, the two friends had joyfully accepted that nickname, and proudly used it whenever they could.
On top of this whole craziness were, of course, the endless jokes that only they were able to understand and which were a constant reference to the Pirate movies.
"Oh, dear God, that was funny," said Silvia, sitting up, still chuckling. She twisted a strand of light brown hair, streaked with purple, around her index finger idly. "How much longer until this abuse is over?"
"We've only been here for...ten minutes and forty five, forty six, seconds," responded Kayla from the stage. She held up her wrist, displaying the glowing face of her watch as proof. The images of Jack Sparrow and Will Turner stood gazing intently from the watch band. "This wouldn't be so bad if we could actually do something. Damned set techs, like we can't hammer a nail into some wood."
"Speak for yourself," Silvia muttered. "D'you remember when I spilt the keel for that ark they were building? Came down on top of everyone."
"Oh yeah, didn't you get knocked unconscious, Maria?"
"I wasn'tunconscious!" snapped Maria moodily. "I was merely…sleeping."
Kayla hoisted herself back onto her elbows and glanced up and Silvia with a raised eyebrow.
Silvia smirked, "In other words, unconscious."
"Maybe it was the heat," said Kayla in a low voice. There was a moment of silence before Silvia began howling with mirth, leaving Kayla to join in almost immediately. Maria scowled and crossed her arms over her chest, shifting in the lumpy chair in the first row, where she was sitting.
"You two know how annoying that is?"
"It's not annoying, it's hilarious!" Silvia replied indignantly once she had managed to regain some of her composure.
"Yeah, it's not our fault you can't understand our obvious humor," Kayla added, slightly out of breath. After several more moments, Silvia got to her feet and walked towards the back of the stage, disappearing behind one of the heavy black curtains that hung on either side of the stage. She stuck her head out around one of them and beckoned towards Kayla, who was now sitting on the stage, legs swinging over the side.
"I'm going to peruse the prop room," she called, her voice carrying because of the cone shaped architecture of the theatre. "Care to join me?"
"Anything is better than staying here," Kayla said, jumping to her feet and following Silvia's path.
"What about me?" asked Maria, sounding rather hurt. Kayla grabbed Silvia's arm and pulled her behind the curtain and out of sight once more.
"Uh, you just stay here, Maria!" she then called back, careful to remain hidden behind the curtain. "We're probably just going to, uh, talk about Pirates of the Caribbean!"
"And there go the Pirateical Sisters again!" exclaimed Maria, rolling her eyes before adding, "Well, in that case, I think I will stay here."
"I just heard Ms. Piper come in," added Kayla in a whisper to Silvia. "If she sees us, she'll make us print out those programs for Evita!"
"Prop room?"
"Prop room."
-
The entrance to the prop room was a tall, broad door, old and brown, scraped and scratched. The only thing that set it apart from the numerous other doors that lined the corridors of the labyrinth like theatre was the small brass star, still proudly bolted into the center of the wood.
The room had once been the dressing room for the star of the show or musical that happened to be showing, but after several angry co-stars had begun demanding their own dressing rooms as well, seeing as how the theatre only hosted one dressing room, the only option had been to take the benefit of it away from the star. It has since then been transformed into the prop room, where the various props from shows, and even several flats, were stored until they were needed again.
Silvia jiggled the handle of the door. "Locked," she sighed disappointedly. Kayla frowned and side stepped her, reaching for the handle herself.
"Let me try."
"Alright, but unless you know how to pick locks or-"
Silvia stopped dead as the door swung open. Kayla turned to her, smiling smugly. "You didn't turn the handle all the way."
Grumbling, Silvia pushed past Kayla and stepped into the prop room, nearly colliding with a stack of dusty encyclopedia volumes as she did so. The room was dimly lit with the light from the six round, frosted bulbs that still burned over the dressing table set into the wall on the side on the room. The light was always on, but only because no one had yet found the switch to turn it off, and simply leaving it on was far easier than unscrewing the bulbs. Perhaps that was part of the reason for the steadily increasing tuition prices.
The prop room more or less resembled an old thrift store that someone had unleashed a cyclone into. There was a stray scaffolding, on which several cardboard boxes filled with trinkets were perched, amongst the broken bookshelves on which every thing imaginable were shoved. A rather dangerous looking tower of old wooden chests rose almost to the ceiling in the corner, and Silvia could see a single glass vase with a plastic rose in it, balanced on top of the high most chest. A musty smell lingered in the air, which Silvia suspected was coming from the racks of costumes, rolled into obscure corners of the large room.
"Urgh, it smells like my great grandmother's house in here," said Kayla has she slipped between a rack of dresses and the scaffolding. Looking up the selves of the nearly bookshelf, she spotted a gray felt hat with a large feather stick out of the band around the rim. After retrieving it, and almost toppling the entire shelf, she plopped in onto her head. Peering around, she found another similar one and promptly grabbed that as well, before working her way around the shelf, spying Silvia, who was thumbing through a leather bound book with spidery writing on the front.
"It smells like my great grandmother," said Silvia as she snapped the book closed, a cloud of dust appearing as she did so. Eyes watering, she dropped the book back onto the box she had found it on. "Nice hat."
"I know, isn't it simply marvelous?" replied Kayla in a false British accent, flipping her head from side to side. The feather smacked Silvia in the face with every turn, "Here, darling, you must try this on!" and she placed the other hat on top of her friend's head.
"Hey!" Silvia exclaimed, lifting the rim from her eyes and peering at her reflection in the cracked mirror placed on the dressing table, "It's great," she said nodded approvingly.
Suddenly, Kayla stopped flaunting her own hat and stared, transfixed, at something over Silvia's shoulder. Silvia sniffed and rubbed her nose before glancing in that direction and then back to Kayla.
"Did you see a ghost?" She grinned and added, "Or maybe Jack Sparrow?"
"What is that?" said Kayla finally, raising a hand to point towards the back of the room. Silvia turned once again to look where she was pointing.
"That there?" she said, squinting. "Just looks like a coat closet. Hey, maybe it leads to Narnia." She laughed to herself before turning on her heels. "Let's go check it out."
"What?" Kayla watched as Silvia made her way through the maze of scattered props and other various objects, towards the large double-doored wardrobe. She began to follow her friend, listening to the occasional crunch of something being stepped on, followed by a loud curse from Silvia. The pair did not speak again until they were standing directly in front of the closet's large doors.
"Shall we see what's inside, then?" suggested Kayla, and Silvia nodded. They each reached out and grabbed one of the simple silver handles on either of the doors. The doors opened silently and the pair peered inside. They were met with the sight of several trench coats, hanging on hangers from a bar inside the closet. Silvia leaned back and scratched her head unceremoniously.
"Well what d'you know? A coat closet…with coats! Damn, and I really wanted to go to Narnia."
"And what, meet that creepy fawn?" said Kayla, rolling her eyes.
"Maybe," Silvia replied, grinning widely. "Maybe there's more in here."
She stepped up into the wardrobe and pushed aside the coats, leaving an empty space within the surprisingly large closet. There was a set of shelves set into the back of the wardrobe, and all were empty expect the one nearest the top. Standing on the tips of her toes, Silvia reached up and slid the cloth-covered box from it. It was about the size of a shoebox and, as Silvia found out, rather hefty. Kayla pulled herself up into the wardrobe as well and plucked the top off the box in Silvia's arms. They stared, confused, into the box before Kayla scooped out several of the items and turned them over in her hands.
"It's just box full of old stage makeup," she observed, studying a black plastic compact. "Must have been left over from one of the people who used this dressing room."
"Hey, what's that?" asked Silvia, nodding towards a glass bottle with a pink stopper nestled in the corner of the box. Kayla extracted it carefully and tossed the other makeup products back into the box.
"Huh, well, this certainly isn't old," she said. "Looks brand new."
Silvia set the box onto a lower shelf and held out her hand for the bottle. Kayla placed it in her hand and Silvia brought it to eye level and shook it. She removed the stopper and poured a bit of the contents out into her palm. It was an iridescent powder, colored a light shade of purple. It shimmered strangely in the dark wardrobe.
"Oh, oh, I know what that is!" Kayla exclaimed excitedly, gesturing to the powder in Silvia's hand. "It's pixie dust!"
"Are you kidding me, Kayla?"
"No, really! It's that stuff that little girls buy to make themselves look like Britney Spears or something," she went on. "Only prettier, and with not so horrid a voice."
"Let's put some on you, it'll match beautifully with that hat," said Silvia, swiping the sparkling stuff across Kayla's cheeks.
"I feel like a superstar," said Kayla mockingly, fluttering her eyelashes and pushing out her lips. "Did you read the label?"
"What label?"
"The label on your forehead that says 'moron.' No, the label on the bottle!"
Silvia flipped the bottle over and began to read the laminated label aloud. "'Pixie dust. To use, spread over face and make wish. Enjoy.' Well, that's oddly specific."
"Hmm, what should I wish for?" said Kayla, holding her hand to her chin and feigning a look of deep concentration. Silvia's eyes lit up.
"Oh, I know! Wish we were in Pirates of the Caribbean!" she said animatedly, waving her hands about, and almost succeeding in dropping the bottle. Kayla gave her a strange look. "You know, like in those MarySue type fan fictions."
"Good idea. Okay, uhm, do I just say it?" Kayla squeezed her eyes shut. "I wish we were in Pirates of the Caribbean!"
Nothing happened. Silvia put her hands on her hips and chewed the inside of her cheek. "Huh. Well there's a surprise. Maybe we have to do a dance or something to make it work."
"A Britney Spears dance, perhaps?"
The two friends looked at each other, both cracking smiles. Then, simultaneously, they swung their hands up to their mouths and began to sing into imaginary microphones, shifting their legs and tossing their heads wildly, or as much as was possible to do inside the wardrobe.
"When I'm with you I lose my mind!" sung Silvia loudly, nearly yelling into her invisible microphone, her hat swinging precariously on her head.
"Give me a siiiiign!" continued Kayla, knocking elbows with Silvia, who still held the bottle of pixie dust.
As if in slow motion, they watched as it fell from her hand and shattered at their feet, causing a cloud of purple powder to rise up towards them from the ground. Silvia sneezed and Kayla began coughing, and soon both of them sounded as though they were hacking up lungs, doubled over at the waist.
After nearly a minute, when they had regained some control over themselves, Kayla leaned against what she supposed was the side of the wardrobe, breathing heavily as she watched Silvia continue to splutter.
"We should…just put the pieces of the…bottle…back in the box," she gasped, wiping at her watering eyes with the back of her hands and trying to focus her sight, "Good God, that's some…lethal pixie dust!"
"How ironic," Silvia managed to reply. "Can…you get…the box for me, please?"
But Kayla did not take the box from the shelf. She did not even move. Annoyed, Silvia looked up at her, scowling.
"What the hell are you staring at?" she said. Kayla made no respond, she merely stood, staring wide-eyed, like a deer caught in car headlights. "Fine, I'll get it myself, if you're just going to stand there like zombie," huffed Silvia, turning towards the shelves.
But what she found herself looking at was not the shelves, nor the back of the wardrobe. And Kayla, she saw right after, was not leaning on the side of the wardrobe. She was leaning against what appeared to be a mast, and they were staring down the deck of what looked a ship, complete with burly men in blue coats strolling up and down its length, apparently ignoring the fact that two girls had just appeared out of nowhere on the deck. Glancing back over her shoulder, Silvia still saw what was supposed to be a cabin door, from which the prop room, complete with the glass vase and plastic rose, glowed eerily. She got up and took a few cautious steps towards the door, taking hold of the handle. She hesitated for a moment, and then looked back at Kayla. The two grinned slowly.
"Hit me, baby, one more time."
And with that, Silvia shut the cabin door.
-
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