I don't own Loveless. But I wish I did.


Soubi was bored. So very bored. He hadn't seen Ritsuka in days and he was running out of cigarettes. So, he decided to engage in a little friendly conversation.


Kio got home a little late that night. "There was a long line at the store," he said.
"That's fine," Soubi said. "Come sit with me." He patted the spot on the floor beside him.
Kio happily obliged, taking the 6-pack of beer he'd just gotten with him. Any chance to get close to Soubi was one he wouldn't dare miss out on. Opening a beer he asked, "What did you do while I was gone?"

"I just sat and thought about... stuff," The blonde answered.
"Oh... cool."

Then Soubi draped one of his long arms around Kio's shoulders. "You know," he paused, taking a drag of his cigarette. "it's times like this it occurs to me that we were lied to by The Jetsons."
Kio looked up at Soubi, not fully understanding what he was getting at. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, according to that show, we were supposed to be tooling around in flying cars by now."
"Oh yeah? Well most of us rational thinkers weren't banking on a cartoon to offer us a viable glimpse into the future of technological development."

Soubi smiled a small smile. And Kio knew he'd pretty much disregarded what he'd just said. "Hey. What would you trade for the flying car?"
Kio sighed, finishing off his beer and opening another one. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night. But, nonetheless, he was willing to play this game with Soubi. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, say some German scientist comes up to you and he says, 'I have invented the flying car, I'll give it to you on one condition'."
"Well, what's the condition?"
"He's not just gonna tell ya!"
"Well then it's no deal," Kio said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Kio! The guy is offering you the flying car! You don't look a gift horse in the mouth! Just take the car, man!" Soubi half shouted.
Why is he so insistent? It's not like I'm actually getting a flying car. Kio thought. "Not until I know what the catch is!"
Soubi sighed loudly and obnoxiously with another long drag from the cigarette. "Fine! ... The catch is you've gotta cut off a foot."
"Pffft! No way!" The green-haired man shouted.
"What? Are you saying you wouldn't cut off your foot for the flying car? You're that selfish?" Soubi asked, crossing his arms in mock annoyance.

"Sou-chan, it's my foot! How am I supposed to walk?"
"Walk? You'll have the flying car! After that you could buy, like, 50 prosthetic feet!"
"Well, which foot? Right or left?"
Soubi shrugged. "Your choice."
"Okay, I'll trade my left foot for the flying car." Kio decided.
"So it's a deal then. Your foot for the flying car. You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."
"You can't welsh."
"I won't welsh!"
"Because the whole world is counting on you."

Kio cocked his head to the side, wondering why 'the whole world was counting on him'. But he simply brushed it aside and instead asked, "What the hell kind of scientist is this guy anyway?"
"One with a lot of time on his hands." Soubi answered, putting his cigarette out in nearby ashtray. "And a foot fetish." He added. After grabbing a beer, Soubi continued. "So, then you find out the guy's gonna take off your foot with a hacksaw-"

"Aw, what?!" Kio interrupted.
"And no anesthetic." Soubi finished.
"Screw that!" Kio yelled.
"Come on, it's a part of the deal." The taller said, smugly.
"But you didn't say that before!"
"Oh, come on! It only hurts when they're takin' the foot off. After that, they'll use a local on your stump and corduroys to cover the wound."

Kio wasn't sure if that was supposed to make him feel better or worse. And he didn't want to ask. And, though he'd probably never admit it, hewas having fun. Even if the conversation was a little... strange.

"Well why can't I have the local before he cuts it off?!"
"Because. He is a sick degenerate, that likes to inflict pain."

Hm... Sounds a lot like that guy Soubi trained with. Kio thought. What the heck was his name? Was he German?


[Welch/welch= another word for backing out of something.] More reviews mean faster updates... usually.