i.
aphelion | the point in the orbit of a planet, asteroid, or comet at which it is farthest from the sun
gravity has a way
of pulling you in
beautiful, enticing
seemingly perfect
something feels missing when gravity leaves
her eyes were galaxies; infinite, wondrous
but space without her is vast and aching
beauty marred by loneliness, longing
time slowed when your eyes first met
you think that the stars aligned
that her touch was electric
you yearn for that pull; it felt like fate
you understand why people run
always searching for something more
and you understand love;
never more terrifying than when it's gone
nothing aches as much as the chasm of separation
and she? oh, she was a force of gravitation
—
It's strange how time all of a sudden slows. Like in the moment two pairs of eyes meet across a room, something intangible but almost electric hanging in the air, like an invisible rope, drawing the two together… perhaps that's how fate works. Inevitable, no matter what you do. But looking back, that makes everything all the more tragic, if fate pulled them together only to tear them apart. It felt like she'd known Heather a lifetime. And it felt like in barely a blink, she was gone. Oh, how time flew— and then it stopped. And she no longer understands why she never noticed how slow it passes.
She keeps a brave face, cheerful wit and curiosity bubbling over when she sees him - for how can she not? There's wonders out there and she never imagined that she, just Bill, could possibly be so fortunate to see and do more, to travel (in space! who'd have thought?), to be something more than ordinary. And she can't help but feel selfish, wanting more, and yet her heart pines, mourns. Some days she feels like she lost more than a lover; perhaps she's mourning the future that could have been.
There's a certain type of numbness that finds a home in her heart, nestled away where she forgets about it, pushes on, lets herself be swept up and distracted by the world around her. But oh, how it likes to rear its head at night, hollow her out as she curls up, enveloping herself in her blankets and wondering if she's always been this empty. It gets better with time; as heartache and loss always does, but it remains there, hungry for those moments of weakness, instability.
She never lets him see how her heart aches, and yet there's a mutual understanding between them, an unspoken connection. And there's moments where she catches glimpses of all the hurt his hearts hold, but she doesn't ask… she did once, when her wounds were still raw and she saw how he closed off. No, they don't talk. But they understand, and maybe that's enough.
A/N: Part two coming soon! If you want a sneak peek into the second part, feel free to pop over to my tumblr for the second poem. I wrote the poems a while back - but I thought it'd be fun to expand on them a bit more. Let me know your opinions! Do you like the poem-fic combo? Or are you team 'please don't put poetry anywhere near my fic thanks'?
Also! I'm currently writing fic updates/short stories etc. in an attempt to complete NaNoWriMo - so feel free to hit me up with suggestions, prompts, anything you'd like to see! Or just yell at me to write, that'd also be appreciated :)
