Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. It is owned by CW and Kripke. If I owned it, would I be worrying about tuition, I don't think so.
Spoilers: Only for episode 5x16 "Dark Side of the Moon"
A/N: I was hoping my muse would ping for this episode and luckily it did! Hope you like!
"Where are you going?" Sam had asked him when Dean had shoved a silver credit card at him and kicked him out of the Impala, telling him to go get something to eat or buy out the used book store next to the diner. He knew it wasn't the most brilliant idea, but he figured that Roy and his crony weren't going to stick around a town this size too long when they thought there were two dead bodies back in Sam and Dean's motel room.
"Where do you think I'm going?" He said, avoiding the question.
"Dude, you don't even know where he went. He could be in…Peru for all we know."
"Peru? What the hell Sam, why would be go to Peru?" Dean was wondering is that shotgun blast had addled Sam's brains enough that even Joshua couldn't fix them.
"I don't know, the point is he's probably not anywhere nearby. Why bother looking?"
"I just…I get the feeling he's still nearby" that was the truth, the mark on his arm was tingling as it always did when Castiel was in his vicinity "and I can't just leave him like that." The Cas that had disappeared from their room reminded him all too much of the Castiel that he had met in the future, sans the orgies, pills and yoga that is.
"Fine, go find your angel…jerk."
"Bitch" Dean started the car after Sam climbed out of the car. Before Dean drove off he leaned in the window.
"Be careful."
"I always am. If I can't find him I'll come back for some food."
"Right" Sam figured he wouldn't be seeing him anytime soon, he was like a bloodhound on a trail and he would find Castiel. The Impala sailed off down the Main street of the po'dunk town they had been staying in when Roy had found them. Sam stood on the sidewalk trying to decide what he should do now, an idea lit up in his brain and he turned and walked down the sidewalk back the way the Impala had come.
To anyone else, it would have seemed that Dean was driving aimlessly up and down the streets of this small, hot and dusty Texas town, but in reality he was really playing a giant game of hot and cold with the tingling from the brand on his arm.
Eventually he pulled into parking lot of the local park, as he walked toward the playground he concentrated on the tingling sensation as it built to a feeling like blood rushing back into a disused limb, almost painful in its intensity, like a thousand bees buzzing against his skin. He saw the familiar tan trench coat-clad form sitting on a wooden bench, watching the playground.
"You know," Dean said as he sat down next to Cas on the bench "the last time we were sitting in a park you told me something. You told me that you had doubts, questions, that you weren't sure what was right or wrong anymore. That's all part of being human, Cas. It's the suckiest part of humanity, but sometimes it's the part that helps us the most." Cas sat staring ahead at the children playing on the jungle gym, minutes passed before he spoke.
"Angels are not supposed to question, but I did. That is where I went wrong, but even when I doubted my brothers and sisters I had faith in my father, but now…" he trailed off, his eyes turned Heavenward in a vain search for answers.
"Hey, who said you went wrong?" At Castiel's incredulous gaze he kept speaking "Besides, y'know Raphael and Zachariah and other assorted dicks." The corner of Cas' mouth quirked up in an almost smile.
"I…deviated from the path. That is not meant to happen, but I always had faith that what I was doing was right, that finding my father was the right course of action and now I find that all that searching was for nothing. My father does not care, he would rather allow his creation to be destroyed in a petty war than step in and confront his Angels."
"Dads are like that sometimes. Their kids are screw ups so they blame themselves, but as long as they don't have to confront them then it's not real so they aren't responsible for whatever happens. Maybe your father could benefit from some parenting classes, this passive aggressive shit is sure to be against every rule of raising kids." Dean leaned back against the bench seat and watched Castiel's face, which looked pained and stressed.
"I am sorry Dean. I gave you hope for a solution when there was none."
"Hey, I always though the whole finding God angle was going to be a bust. You don't have to apologize to me." They sat in silence for several minutes, the sound of rusty swing chains, laughing children and the yelling of several boys playing football in an empty field filled the air around them. It was the sound of life and Dean would be damned…perhaps a poor expression, but fitting, before he willingly let this world and that life be destroyed.
"I do not know what to do with myself now. I had a mission before and now… I have nothing." Castiel sounded lost.
"Well there's no reason to go off on your own anymore. Come with me and Sam."
"Where?"
"Anywhere," Dean said, he wanted to add 'forever' to that statement, but continued in a different way "but for now we'll probably go back to Bobby's and regroup."
"I would…like that."
"Good, then get a move on Wing boy. I'm hungry and I left Sam at a diner." Cas raised an eyebrow at his newly acquired nickname, but didn't comment.
As they were nearing the car Dean muttered something along the lines of "good, now I just have to keep him away from drugs, yoga instructors and women." He had a few ideas about how to keep him away from the women at least.
