Splitting Headache

A/N: Ok this story is silly and parodical; harmless fun!

Disclaimer: I own no Angel characters. If I did, I'd be living it up in L.A!

Challenge fic: Answer to a challenge fic on the Buffy/Angel board called Dusted. The details to be included were:

1. A white rose

2. The phrase: "Well, that's a damned find coincidence! That's what this store's here for!"

3. Someone other than Spike has dyed his/her hair orange - on purpose.

4. Someone's instant message handle is 'pookiebear'

5. A hockey puck

The Rules:

1. ONLY BtVS / AtS characters may be included in the story - NO CROSSOVERS.

2. It CANNOT take place on a holiday (Christmas, Halloween, New Year's, Yom Kippur, etc)

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'Oh my God Wesley!' Cordelia screeched at the ex-Watcher.

' What?' Wesley asked, feigning innocence.

' My hair, you pansy-assed trollop!' The Seer retorted fiercely. She came towards him menacingly with a hockey puck in her hand.

'Hey!' Gunn hollered from across the room, 'his ass ain't pansy, Cor!' Angel arched a brow worriedly at the young man. 'Remember Season 2? I called him a pansy-assed British guy. And he was like quote, 'My ass is not pansy! 'end quote.' Fred gave him a confused look.

'This was before I joined you guys right?' she asked anxiously, ticking her gaze from Gunn to Angel.

'No shit, Einstein,' Cordelia remarked snidely.

'Waaaay before,' Angel noted helpfully in an oh-my-God-how-dense-is-Fred- tone.

'We're getting off the plot!' David Greenwalt yelled from his comfortable, director's chair.

And we're back to the manic, crazy, hockey-pick wielding Cordelia. 'I'd shut up if I were you, Pookiebear!' she growled at Angel. 'Oh yes, I know your MSN Messenger name,' she added dangerously. The vampire shut up at that.

'You're Pookiebear?' Gunn said incredulously, 'oh my God, you mean; I have been sending you naughty messages!!!'

"Well, that's a damned find coincidence! That's what this store's here for!" muttered David Greenwalt, thinking about going to a new show. The rest ignored him as Cordelia cracked Wesley over the head with the puck; causing him to spilt into two!

'What have I done?!' she asked weakly, sinking to her knees.

'Looks like you killed him,' Angel said matter-of-factly.

'Oh Wesley!' Fred cried. They looked at her strangely. 'What? I was going for dramatic,' she added in an injured tone.

'Ditto,' Cordelia added.

'Besides,' Gunn began, 'it was you who dyed your hair orange in the first place.'

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But Wesley was not dead! In fact both of them: Geek Wesley and Hot-but-not- quite-Season 4-hot Wesley were standing in Lilah's apartment, a little while later. The lawyer smelled a white rose that Geek Wesley had brought her. With a sly wink and a sexy smirk, she gave them both this proposition:

'Ok. So who wants top?'

The End