A/N K let's get this straight. You've probably seen this move dozens of times. You've probably read A Christmas Carol dozens of times. You seen this plot used in fanfiction dozens of times. I've used this characterization of Ron before. So check your high orginality pain threshold at the door and prepare for a friendly dose of refurbished plot.

But don't let it stop you from being entertained.

Middlewood watch: For those of you frothing at the mouth. I'm working on it seriously. It'll happen, I'm working on this story and MW simultaneously.


Under the glow of candlelight three children rolled across their living room floor. Fighting briskly they poked, pulled and jabbed at each other. In the kitchen a woman sighed at the sound of the squabbling children. Shaking her head solemnly she made her way into the living room. A quick look at the scattered toys along the ground immediately told the story of the day. Hands on her hip she cleared her throat and captured their attention.

"Children this is supposed to be the season of sharing and love, of warm feelings and happy hearts." She tsked lightly to herself "perhaps we need more than just pretty packages or twinkling lights on a tree to fill us with Christmas spirit."

Their faces aglow the children rose to their feet and stared expectantly at their mother.

"Do you mean?" The eldest boy asked his voice straining with excitement.

The mother nodded sagely. "Of course the Bueno Nacho limited time only special Christmas meal!"

"Yay!" the children exclaimed in unison. "It only comes once a year!"

The mother clapped loudly. "Now into the car you rascals, if you're all good we'll use the cartons and wrappings to build a manager for baby Jesus."

"Hooray!"

Hand in hand the jubilant children skipped happily out of the living room as the simple chorus of "Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer" escaped from their lips.

Smiling proudly the mother followed her children out seemingly ignorant of the disembodied voice that was currently speaking.

One of the greatest tragedies of our time is the shattering of the family unit; without it no nation has flourished on this planet. Luckily Bueno Nacho is here for America's families. All is not lost. Whether it's Christmas or just a plain old Tuesday.

We're here for you.

The Bueno Nacho commercial that had been showing on the massive flat screen faded to black. Eight people in conservative suits, sitting four across each other at a board table, turned nervously to the far end of the table.

There sat Ron Stoppable. Behind him was his desk and behind that were windows that ran the length of a wall. Sighing quietly to himself, Ron looked at the floor where Rufus was waiting with a tiny mirror. He smiled down at his reflection for a moment before pulling his gaze away. He then looked up at Monique who was standing beside an open bar on the other side of the room. The fact that she was already mixing a drink caused him to smile again. The smile left his face when he glanced back down the table.

"Was that it?"

Ned who happened to be seated nearest to him coughed nervously. "It's very family friendly."

Ron offered Ned a blank stare. "Show me the Scrooge promo."

Every head in the room turned back to the screen.

The camera zoomed towards Timothy North dressed in red sitting in an antique armchair beside a highly decorated Christmas tree and a flickering fireplace. An open book lay on his lap. Staring down at the book he began to read out loud.

"It was a cold, bleak, Christmas..."

His voice is overtaken by a disembodied voice.

Bueno Nacho presents live via satellite the Christmas event of the decade. Charles Dickens' immortal Christmas classic.

Starring Rudolph Farnsworth

(The camera switches to Rudolph Farnsworth as a shuffling Scrooge)

"Bah humbug!"

(The camera then switches rapidly through various faces)

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The camera returned to Timothy North who leans back in his seat. "It will touch every heart string. A Christmas spectacular brought to you by the wonderful people of Bueno Nacho. It all starts on Christmas Eve – Live on lBC"

For the second time in a matter of minutes all eyes turned from the screen to Ron.

He exhaled loudly. "Holy Moley was that awful!" Ron swung out of his chair to his feet. He strolled over to Monique who handled him what appeared to be a glass of hard lemonade.

"Thank you Mo"

Ned placed his hands in the air as if he were in a classroom. "Um y-you know who still loves Heather. My kids. She's America's sweetheart again."

Ned's fellow colleagues all nodded in agreement.

Ron eyed the group angrily and they wilted under his gaze. "Guys, guys we have spent millions on this live TV show, it's supposed to be the Christmas special of the decade… No the century! And you guys have got an ad with, Heaven love him, America's favorite old bag of bones reading a book in front of a fireplace!"

Ron opened his arms out wide. "It's not boo-yah worthy people! It's boring!"

"No boo-yah!" Rufus squeaked as he scurried towards the various assortments of snacks on the board table.

"Well" coughed an older man beside Ned. "Excuse me but we've been running that spot now for over a month and well, it's getting a hell of a response."

Ron ran his hands together. "Monique my fabulous assistant. Am I the youngest vice president in the history of Bueno Nacho?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes you are."

"Am I that for a reason?"

She gave him a "are you serious?" look and received a wide grin in response.

"Yes" she replied.

"And what is that reason Monique?"

She blew out a breath between her lips. "You know the customers."

Ron pumped his fist into the air. "Booyah I know the customers!"

"Well that's true, but everyone already wants to watch the show" Ned declared.

Ron casually sidled up beside Ned. "That isn't good enough!" he shouted at his anxious subordinate. "They have got to be so scared to miss it, so terrified! Now, if I were in charge....." Ron pointed at Monique.

"You are in charge" she sighed.

"And you know why?" Ron tapped his forehead with his pointer finger. "I…think…outside….the….box….Perhaps I can help you all. Rufus, cue it up."

After reluctantly stepping away from a small plate of cheese Rufus snagged a slim remote off the table and pointed it at the screen. Satisfaction written all over his face Ron took a seat at the end of the table. He gestured for Monique to refill his drink while everyone was treated to the image of a fresh faced family of four strolling about an airport terminal. There is a loud rumble, the terminal begins to shake and a shadow creeps over the entire area. The youngest child of the family points into the air. The camera shifts abruptly and suddenly there is the jarring sight of an airplane rapidly closing in.

International terrorism!

The scene switches to the shocking visual of a screaming man, whose face happened to be in the process of melting.

Global warming!

Next comes two quick scenes of a man placing a turkey in a crib and a baby in the oven

Drug abuse!

Finally there is a scene of a snarling dog breaking through a plane glass window and diving towards an old woman.

Animal experiments gone wrong!

Now, more than ever we must remember the true meaning of Christmas. Don't miss Charles Dickens' immortal classic, "Scrooge LIVE" Your life might just depend on it!

"Not that is boo-yah worthy" Ron hooted. "I want it running every hour on the hour. Go all of you, fly, do my bidding."

Ron turned his back to his employees and they scattered like roaches when lights come on. Monique handed Ron a bowl of M&M's. He graciously shoveled a handful into his awaiting mouth.

"Thank you Mo."

"Excuse me."

Ron turned on his heels to face Ned "Yes...?"

"Uh Ron….."

Ron coughed into his fist.

"Mr. Stoppable" Ned said quickly. "What exactly does that ad have to do with Scrooge?"

Ned shifted nervously on his feet as Ron paced back and forth before him. Eventually the blond executive would turn to him. "Nothing I guess. Why?"

"You can't show that commercial. If you run that you're going to frighten people." Ned responded.

Ron licked his lips. "You think I'm being a little grim?"

"Yes!" Ned blurted out. Realizing his mistake he took a step back and drew in a deep breath, "Well...a tad, sir."

"Y'know Ned" Ron groaned dramatically. "This is the kind of feedback. I could have used before we started running the ads!"

"Well this is the first time I've seen it Ron…sir."

Ron slapped himself in the forehead. "You're right; I did kind of spring it on you. I probably should have mentioned it earlier."

"It's not that bad, just lose the uh frightening and inappropriate imagery."

"Here's what I'll do." Ron said as gave Ned a friendly tap on the shoulder. "I'll give what you said some serious consideration."

"Thank you, sir. That's all I ask." Ned bowed lightly as he peddled backwards towards the exit. Once at the door Ned turned back around "oh and Ron Merry Christmas!"

"Yeah, I'm Jewish."

"Oh right, sorry" Ned nervously tugged at his collar. "….Happy Hanukkah."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Ned I'm just kidding."

It took a moment of serious reflection before Ned chuckled happily out of the door.

"Nobody gets my jokes Monique."

Monique handed him a golden bowl filled with cheese puffs. "Well you do have a unique sense of humor."

Ron tsked disapprovingly. "Was that a shot at me Miss Alexander?"

Monique shook her head. "No, course not."

"I thought so." He inhaled a mouthful of cheese puffs. "Oh Monique before I forget call security and have them change Ned's locks, clear his desk and toss him out of building."

"What? No!"

"Yes. Make it so number one."

"But he's a close friend."

Ron tilted his head and simulated a look of confusion. "Errr?"

"He's a friend.

"Huh?"

Monique closed her eyes. "He's a friendly acquaintance with past history."

Ron licked cheese off his finger tips. "He's……..so fired"

"But it's Christmas."

Ron slapped himself again on the forehead. "Oh man I totally forgot. Make sure you cancel his Christmas bonus as well."

"This is so wrong."

He followed Monique to her tiny desk right outside his office. There he gleefully watched as she called up security and completed step one of Ned's systematic termination.

"And what is all this?"

Monique hung up the phone and watched as Ron obnoxiously waved his hands around the personal objects on his desk.

"And especially that?" He pointed out a homemade Christmas card that was tacked up against the wall.

"That's a Christmas card T made for me in school."

"T?

"My son" Monique said briskly.

"OH right T, yeah…yeah I remember." Ron reached over and pulled the card from the wall. "Too bad it's got to go."

"Why?"

"Company policy Mo, I'll let you keep the junk on your desk but the walls are a no-hang zone. Besides have you seen the card, your kid's not exactly Monet. There's something to be said for taste."

Monique snatched the card from his hand. "Whatever you say sir."

"Now, now" Ron chided. "Who is the boss Monique?"

"You are."

"Actually no, Tony Danza's the boss. But I'm flattered you think of me that way." Ron grinned.

She groaned. "You are quite pleased with yourself aren't you Ron?"

"Why wouldn't I be Mo, why wouldn't I be?" Ron replied.


Ned still wasn't sure what had happened. A few minutes after a routine board meeting he suddenly found himself sitting at the bottom of the steps in front of the Bueno Nacho Inc office building.

"It'll be fine." He muttered to himself. "I'll just say 'honey we'll have to load up on quilts because I'm not sure we can afford heat this winter.'"

He rocked back and forth as he clutched his knees closer to his chest. "Who needs a house anyway? If a trailer is good enough for my unemployed brother in law, its good enough for my family."

Ned glanced up to see two security guards approaching. Swiftly they dumped a cardboard box containing the contents of Ned's desk at his feet.

"Oh, hi, fellas. Thanks a lot. Merry Christmas."

With as much "courtesy" as they could muster the security guards dragged him to his feet and shoved him away from the building.


"Boyahahahahah!" Ron laughed as he peered out the window of his office with a pair of binoculars. "Trash cleared out in less than five minutes. Now that is efficient security work."

"Ahem."

Ron brought his attention away from the window to Monique. "Right, where were we with the Christmas gifts."

"Lou Forristal" She said.

"Silverware" Ron muttered.

"Jake---"

"Silverware!" Ron interrupted.

"Lou Goldberg."

"Who?"

"Lou Goldberg, in accounting?"

Ron blinked rapidly at her.

"His budget plan led to the downsizing of five percent of the staff…"

Ron eyed her curiously. "….which led to your year-end bonus being tripled."

"Lou! Swell fella....Digital camera" Ron declared.

"Tamara Towloudes."

"Silverware."

"The Possibles"

Ron cocked his right eyebrow. Shifting on his feet he continued to stare down into the street below. It was a long and deep awkward silence that lasted much longer than Monique felt comfortable with. Eventually she would break the silence by stamping her foot loudly onto the ground.

Ron broke away from his daze "What?"

"The Possibles?"

He shrugged indifferently. "I don't know, what did you get them last year?"

"With the budget you gave me last year, bath towels" she sighed.

Ron placed his hands against the cool glass of the office window. "The country was going through uh…wahtchmacallits."

"A recession?"

"Yeah we and by "we' I mean Bueno Nacho had to tighten our belts."

He watched Monique's eyes roll to the ceiling. "Yet your bonus….." she allowed her words to trail off.

Ron chuckled to himself. "Golden parachutes ya gotta love them……Send them the bath towels."

"Again?"

"Why are they even on the list?" Ron snapped loudly.

"Because you haven't taken them off the list yet" she challenged.

"Get them the towels." Ron repeated.

Monique closed her eyes and ran her fingers across her forehead.

"Problem?"

"It's called a headache and you are the cause of it."

Ron clucked his tongue. "Monique you don't seem to have much respect for the employer, employee relationship."

Monique muttered something under her breath as she knocked most of the clutter on Ron's desk into an open drawer.

"You say something?"

She looked up at him. "I said don't forget Mr. Rhinelander's on his way down to see you. He'll be here in five minutes. That's why I'm cleaning up after you. Like a babysitter."

"What?" Ron's eyes went wide as saucers. "Why didn't you remind me earlier?"

"I told about you about it ten minutes ago."

"Then you should have re-reminded earlier!" Flustered Ron paced back and forth before his desk his arms waving about in exaggerated motions.

"That doesn't make any sense" she said.

"Hey instead of just staring there like a dog watching a card trick. Help me."

Moving quickly Monique rushed over to Ron and deftly adjusted his tie and collar as he smoothed out his vest.

"XYZ" Monique said.

"What?"

"Examine your zipper" She told him as she made her way towards the door. "That's a line I'm not going to cross."

"Ha, comedy gold Mo" Ron replied with more than a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Oh and hey put yourself down for a digital camera."

"What about my bonus" she remarked.

Ron took a moment to consider this. "Digital camera and two boxes of silverware."

"You son of a…."

Monique cut herself off when the door suddenly swung open, an elderly gentleman in an expensive suit strolled into the room. He greeted Monique and approached Ron

Ron took a half step back with mock wonder. "Mr. Rhinelander this is such a surprise. Monique why didn't you tell me he was coming."

Monique glared daggers at her boss.

Ron shook the hand of Bueno Nacho's CEO. "You look great Mr R. Have you been working out? By the way have you seen some of this ink we're getting on Scrooge. And it's mostly because of Heather. I knew it would work. I told the first director this would happen. I said 'hey have you been watching TV lately' washed up celebrities are in.' He knows that now, too bad he's fired."

Ron noted as Rhinelander sighed and glanced at his watch.

"Did you uh hear the O Boyz remix of the theme song featuring MC Honey Lite? It's um getting massive radio play."

"Ronald."

Ron straightened up. "Yes Mr. Rhinelander."

"Do you have any idea how many people walk their dogs in this country?" Rhinelander stated with a completely serious demeanor.

Ron stared silently at the CEO. Concluding that it he heard the man correctly he began to stammer. "I…no…I don't seem to have those numbers with me at the moment."

"Twelve million."

Ron forced himself to whistle out loud as he locked eyes with Monique; who could only respond with a shrug.

"Now imagine if those millions of pet owners and their dogs had someplace that they could grab a bite to eat together. Bueno Nacho could be that place. It's a completely untapped market."

Ron's face crunched up in confusion. "You uh want us to serve dog food with the people food."

Rhinelander gestured towards the door. "Walk with me, Ronald."

The Bueno Nacho head marched towards the door with Ron in tow. Upon passing Monique Ron muttered "help me" under his breath.


Rhinelander gripped Ron firmly on the shoulder as they marched past a row of cubicles side by side. "Listen Ronald I know you think it sounds like a bit of a gamble."

Ron mini scoffed "no..I…"

"All I'm saying is that maybe we can endear ourselves to a brand new source of potential customers. "

They stopped before an open elevator. "Didn't Scrooge have a dog?" Rhinelander asked

Ron nodded rapidly. "No, but now that you say it I think Dickens would have wanted him to have a Chihuahua."

"Or a pug" Rhinelander suggested.

"I can give that a boo-yah" Ron declared.

"Ronald, we've invested a lot of time, effort and money to sponsor this show. It's our baby."

"Don't worry boss I am overlooking everything. When all is said and done when people think about Christmas, they'll think about Bueno Nacho."

"That's what I want to hear" Rhinelander said as he stepped into the elevator. "Don't forget lunch tomorrow."

"Right, I am already there." Ron blurted out as the elevator doors came to a close.

Having lost sight of Rhinelander Ron placed his face into his open palms. "Why is he the only person I can't fire?"

He was banging his head lightly against the wall when the second of the pair of elevators on the floor opened up. A few people filed out but one man; who had been involved in a conversation with another person; suddenly turned to meet Ron's eyes.

"Hey Ronnie-Boy!" he called out.

He instructed the man he was conversing with to hold the elevator while he stepped out. As he approached with his hand thrust forward; Ron realized there was something vaguely familiar about the chipper looking young man with slick backed hair and an Armani suit. With the sense of familiarity came a sense of foreboding.

"Brice Backstabonowski we met at Reno, the Creative Young Business Men of America Convention. Those were some good times." As he talked Brice shook Ron's hand with his right and casually adjusted Ron's tie and brushed lint of his shoulder with his left.

"By the way have you seen Rhinelander?"

Ron looked down in confusion at the hand still in Brice's grasp. "Uh, Rhinelander just went back upstairs."

"Just dropped by to say 'how do you do' to the old tiger. I went to school with his son." Letting Ron's hand go Brice rushed back into the elevator. "Give me a call, OK? We'll catch up."

"Ok…..bad road alert" Ron muttered to himself when Brice was gone. He then sprinted back to his office. "Monique! I need a full report on a guy named Brice Backstabonowski. He reeks of slime ball."

Monique nodded as she slipped on her winter coat. "Consider it done. By the way you're due at Helmsmen Palace for a live interview at seven. I'll see you in the morning."

"Whoa, whoa!" Ron pulled at an imaginary lever in the air. "Pull the brakes we're working late."

"But my son's got a doctor's appointment!" She said.

"Noooooo, you're staying here with me we're working late."

"I made the appointment months ago!" Monique declared.

Ron separated his right thumb and pointer finger by an inch. "This is how much I care." He looked down at his fingers for a moment before bringing them even closer together. "Monique we're Siamese twins attached at the hip. If I'm working late, you've got to work late! If you can't work late, I can't work late! If I can't work late......Then I'm not working late am I?!"

"Fine!" Monique cried out in frustration.

Having succeeded in getting his way, Ron sighed contently and turned his back to her. "Cooperation that's all I'm asking for."

"By the way your sister's here."

Ron froze.

"And I may have accidentally let something slip about her Christmas gift." Monique announced gleefully.


As he had expected Ron discovered his sixteen year old sister in his chair with her boots up on his desk. Clearly amused she accurately tossed cheese balls across the room into Rufus' awaiting mouth.

"Han, didn't we have this talk about you dropping in unannounced. Remember what happened last time?"

Hannah sat up straight and shuddered. "Ewww I try to forget, total traumage. No sister should have to see that.""

Ron ran his hand across the back of his neck. "Yeah, see that's the thing about coming in unannounced, you interrupt office business or pleasure."

Hannah shuddered again. "What was her name anyway?"

Ron pointed at the air above Hannah's head. "Whoa Han did you see that, the point just flew right by you."

Hannah's right eyebrow arched up into her forehead. "You don't even remember her name do you?"

"Ah actually I do it was Frieda." He paused. "Or was it Jane?" He turned to Rufus "it was Janet right Rufus?"

The rodent shrugged with a mouthful of snacks. "Idunno"

Ron walked over to his desk. "Anonymous, let's just call her Miss Anonymous."

Hannah sighed "you've become such a hussy since you and Kim broke up."

"Oh red flag, bringing up past history, you should know better" he said as he shooed her away from his desk. "Dear sister you must realize now your brother is not just a pretty face with a stacked bank account."

Hannah groaned and rolled her eyes. "Here we go."

"It's not my fault that I have such magnetism Hannah. I've got what the kids call 'game'" he said with air quotes. "In fact I spit more game than…….than…"

Ron pushed a button on his desk phone. "Monique what do I spit more game than?"

Pause

"A sports announcer?" Monique replied.

"Oooo that is very good. Write that down Mo I'm going to use it from now on." He disconnecting the intercom and returned to his sister. "So yeah your brother spits more game than a sports announcer, you'll just have to accept it."

"This is so not the conversation I need to be having right now" Hannah sighed.

"So why are you here?" He asked.

"Let's go out for a walk big bro, I'm getting tired of this stuffy old office."

"Listen Han I don't really have time to…"

He glanced up to find her bottom lip protruding outwards, her head tilted downwards and her eyes gleaming with sadness.

"Who taught you that?" He moaned.

She placed her fingers on her chin "I wonder."

"Alright I guess I can step out for a sec."

"Yay!" Obviously pleased Hannah began to skip happily in place.

Ron leaned back in his chair. "I just realized you've picked up on some ….really familiar quirks over the years."


Even though she tapped him lightly on his right shoulder, Hannah managed to knock Ron off balance causing him to stumble backwards.

"Hey! Watch it with the super strength" He said.

"I did that on purpose you jerk. I mean come on silverware? Aren't you like loaded?

"Oh right that…Monique…So what do want?"

She latched onto his arm as they walked through the crowded downtown area. "Oh nothing really big bro cept well remember when we saw Sword of the Dragon Emperor at the theater a few months ago and the warrior princess had that Gi made out of silk that flowed so badically during the fight scenes. Well I wouldn't mind having something like that."

Ron fished his cell phone from his pocket. Using the touch screen keypad he began pushing buttons. He put the phone away a minute or so later. "You'll have it by Christmas morning."

"Yay!"

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?"

"Actually that was a bonus." They were suddenly interrupted when a cheerful man accidentally bumped into them.

"Gah could there be any more people on the street?" Ron asked.

"What do you expect?" Hannah said as they squeezed through another sea of bodies. "They're getting their Christmas shopping done."

"There's something calling online shopping!" Ron blurted out to no one in particular.

"Man you're bitter these days. Don't you like Christmas anymore?"

Ron opened his mouth to respond but Hannah quickly placed her hand over it.

"And don't start with the 'we're Jewish' line. That never stopped you from celebrating Christmas and Hanukkah before….or eating bacon for that matter."

Ron pulled her hand from hismouth "au contraire mon......sist-aire but I love Christmas. People stay home and watch our commercials. Our profits go through the roof."

Hannah shook her head "for the real reason I'm here.....is there any chance of you making Christmas dinner?"

"All signs point to none."

"Aww come on" Hannah whined.

"Don't start sis."

"Dinner-with-the-family-it'll-be-fun." Hannah said emphasizing every word. "Just like old times."

"See I'm working on the new times so I can't go back to old times. The new times are where it's at."

"You're no fun anymore." Hannah pouted. "You didn't just break up with Kim you broke up with everyone."

Ron glanced briefly at his watch "man that psychology class you're taking must really be interesting. Listen you have the wonderful dinner with the fam, enjoy Snowman Hank, the tree and cranberries, and send Christmas cards on recycled paper. Enjoy it, even though it's a crock just for kids."

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "You know, I like seeing you. I like being with you. I want you to have a happy New Year Han." He then broke away from her and quickly hailed a taxi.

"Well Merry Christmas anyway big bro" Hannah declared sadly as she watched her brother nudge a Salvation Army Santa out of the way before jumping into a yellow cab


Ron created a pyramid with his fingers to cover his mouth while he kept his eyes on the female interviewer seated before him. "See Katie I don't do it for the chains and flashing rocks. I don't do it for the cars or for what society would define as "promiscuous" women in tight clothing. I got into this business because I like to give. Bueno Nacho has brought much joy to my life and I just want to spread that joy with everyone. That's why I believe a Bueno Nacho in every community is a good thing. I'd like to think local businesses would also want to have a better community."

He sighed "sometimes I find myself hurting from giving too much and I'd say 'Stop it. Stop it Ron you've done all you can'" he said tearfully.

Cut!

"Finally" Ron jumped to his feet.

The interviewer stood up and shook his hand "Thanks for the great interview."

"Thank you for not going down the Team Possible road."

Katie smiled "well you know your lawyer did threaten to sue."

Ron chuckled "oh yeah he can be a bit of pit-bull at times. But I love him though; I don't know how anyone can get by without a good lawyer. So when is this going to be on again?"


Dazed and very likely confused, Ned shuffled along the street mumbling to himself and gathering strange looks from those passing by.

"I should have gone in there. I should have said 'Ron Stoppable.. You….You Jerk! You stink dog, you!'"

Sighing heavily Ned reached into his overcoat and pulled out a brown paper bag containing a large bottle of cheap liquor. Licking his lips he brought it closer to his face just as a taxi cab ran over a huge puddle, sending a wave of street muck washing over Ned's body.

"You dirty…guy!" Ned spluttered after the taxi cab. Unfortunately the now drenched paper bag tore at the bottom and the bottle of liquor came crashing down to the floor.

Ned shook his head sadly. "That is just not fair."


"That doctor sure was a genius wasn't he T?" Monique scoffed as she pulled hard on her steering wheel. She glanced over at her seven year old son in the passenger seat. "All of that trouble just to tell me you don't speak. I'm your mother, I know you don't speak."

She looked up at the road then back at her son. "Yet! We'll show 'em, baby. Oh we will show them. You're going to surprise a lot of people. Yes, you are! You're going to start talking, then go to law school and sue his butt off, you'll sue everyone who even thinks of scamming us."


"Rufus you know the best thing about being rich is? Everything!" Ron laughed long and hard until he realized that his little friend was not in the vicinity.

Ron scanned the immediate area and found it empty. He stood in the middle of his large office. Not sure what to do at first, Ron eventually decided to follow the lonely business man tradition of getting drunk.

He was in the process of a delicate mixing procedure when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" he shouted over his shoulders.

Another knock followed the first.

Ron reluctantly pushed himself away from the bar and skipped towards the door. He pulled it open and found nothing but air behind it. "Hello?" Ron called out. He was answered by his echo.

"Huh, weird."

Frustrated he slammed the door shut. A fraction of a second after the door clicked closed, the earth below Ron's feet began to tremble. Suddenly there was a loud pounding on the office door followed by a guttural growl.

Ron backed away from the door "Who's there?"

A large dent appeared on the door. It was seemingly formed by a powerful blow from the other side. The growl grew louder.

"This office is closed!" Ron shouted at the door.

The blows against the door continued with increasing intensity.

Ron ducked behind his desk. "This whole building is closed!

Large amounts of irreparable dents sprouted all over the door

"Monique, Monique!"

The door blew outwards shattering into dozens off pieces. A dense and chilly fog seeped in and overflowed half of the room. From the fog a figure emerged.

"Whooo-wheeee! That was a good one" he/it said.

The figure wore a silken business suit and carried with him an alligator skin briefcase. Both were caked in dirt. "How are you, kid? I see you're looking more like your father everyday……that's unfortunate."

What left Ron speechless was the figure's withered fruit like face, and the rotted skin hanging from his bony hand. Ron looked up into the figures' dark sockets and felt a chill run down his spine.

The well dressed corpse took notice of Ron's open bar. "You mind if I partake?"

His jaw drooping Ron nodded.

The corpse expertly mixed and poured itself a drink "to old times, my friend."

Watching the zombie-like intruder down the drink caused a light bulb to go off in Ron's head. "Bacardi on rocks with a twist of lemon and a shot of Gin….Oh, my God, it's..."

"Lew Hayward!" The corpse announced. "Your old boss, your mentor; your sensei if you will in the arts of business."

"But you're...dead" Ron whispered

Lew smiled brightly showcasing the remnants of his teeth "six years."

Ron gulped "has it been that long? Looking at you I wouldn't have guessed more than two, tops. Heck you've lost a lot of weight around the uh skin area."

Lew shook his head sadly "oh, Ron you are in trouble. Big trouble."

"K, I appreciate the heads up. Thanks for dropping by.....Cya"

Lew placed his bony hand up to his forehead. "I remember when your father brought you into my office. He said 'Lew my son here is lost. He doesn't know what to do with his life. Since his love of Bueno Nacho is great you should take him under your wing."

"How sweet. You remembered" Ron said.

"At first I thought 'what am I supposed to do with this shlep?'"

"Not as sweet as I first thought" Ron remarked.

Lew placed his right hand up in the air "Two things happened. First your father offered to work for our company for free for six months. Second I remembered that I was Lew Hayward I can turn putty into diamonds. And you dear boy were the example of a diamond in the rough."

"Well" Ron said with rosy cheeks. "I've used every bit of what you taught me to get ahead Lew, and now I am a complete success."

Lew sighed. "Alas Ronald I may have taught you too well. Now if you don't change your ways you'll wind up doomed, just as I am."

"I um, I'm not following ya Lew" Ron said with a shrug.

Lew bent over and imitated a man taking a putt. "One minute, I'm lining up on a hole at Wingfoot. The next minute with the help of a heart attack, I'm worm feast."

Ron placed his hands high into the air. "No, no, no, no, no, no, you're not worm feast, you're an hallucination created by mixing cold medicine, alcohol, and a Grande sized jambalaya burrito..."

Ron blinked and suddenly Lew was upon him. The festering corpse grabbed him by the wrist "SlLENCE!"

"Owww, are you aware how much that stings?" Ron moaned.

Lew brought Ron's face closer to his "I had it all. I was a captain of the industry. Feared by men, adored by women."

"Well if we're gonna be honest Lew. The women adored the fifties hanging out of your pockets."

"Don't waste your life as I did!" Lew growled.

Ron pulled away from his former mentor's grasp. "Waste?! You're a legend in this business. You invented the value menu!"

"Mankind should have been my business!' Lew shouted. "Like it once was for you before you fell into my web. Charity, mercy, kindness that should've been my business, and it is to them you must return!"

Ron shook his head rapidly from left to right, partially from disagreement but mostly to avoid the now overwhelming smell of rot coming from Lew's mouth.

"It's too late for me, but not for you. You are going to be visited by three ghosts."

"THREE ghosts huh? Visited by three ghosts that's unheard of" Ron replied sarcastically.

"Three ghosts Ron. Expect the first one tomorrow at noon."

Ron winced. "Noon shhhhhhh that's pretty bad for me. I might be able to pencil it in after New Years."

Abruptly Lew poked Ron in the chest with his fingers.

"Ouch! Maybe we could have drinks, say Thursday. I just heard about this jazz place on 95th. I don't really like jazz it's a bit to improvisational for me but the atmosphere is great so…"

Lew pushed Ron onto the ground with a flick of his fingers. "This is no joke, Ronald! This is your last chance!

"All right" Ron sighed. "We'll do a post lunch brunch or Lunner as I like to call it."

Lew roared with anger before grabbing Ron by the throat. He held the blond executive up in the air as he inched towards the window. Lew thrust Ron forward and he passed harmlessly through the glass into the night air. The only thing keeping him from dropping was the dead man's hold on his neck. A fall from such a height was a one way trip of at least forty stories.

The thought of it caused Ron to flail about in panic. "Oh, no, please! Lew I'm too successful to go splat!"

His mentor pointed at him from the safety of the office. "You can be saved Ronald. Find your true destiny. Oh and Merry Christmas."

As if on cue Lew's arm snapped in half and Ron plunged towards the streets below.


Ron awoke with a lengthy gasp. It took a moment or so for him to realize that he was laying sprawled on the couch in his office.

Hi, this is Kimberly Anne Possible. I'm not here, as usual. Leave a message and I'll call you back. Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas.

Ron realized the soothingly familiar voice was coming from the speakers of his phone.

"KP!"

He rushed to the desk and snatched up his phone. "This is Ron Stoppable, we uh were best friends since pre k and we dated for a long time….I'm just saying…in case you forgot….anyway. I know it's been years since we talked, but...but I really need to talk to you right now. Something terrible has happened."

Ron looked up to see that the office door remained perfectly intact. "Or maybe not, I don't know. But I have to talk to you. It's important! Call me at any hour. My number is 674- 9565. I repeat 674-95 …"

Beep

"Damn!" Ron slammed the phone shut. He drew in a breath and followed it with intense inhaling and exhaling. After regaining his composure he glanced down to see an alligator skin briefcase waiting by his foot.

He promptly fainted.


A/N Here's the thing I'm going to try my darnedest to finish this story by Dec 25th at the very least before New Years. This and MW are on my plate at the moment.

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