The Winter War had come so fast but the outcome seemed to drag on and on. The fight with Aizen was one of horror and death, so many lives have ended by his blade but in the end he was killed by Ichigo. I had never met the Substitute Shinigami but I know he is strong; he saved us from Aizen and ended the war, it was over but the fighting never stopped. Our friends were all saved and many were taken in to the Fourth Division right away, I was one of those many that Unohana had to heal first. I was stabbed through the chest by my best friend's sword but I did not blame him, I was told by Unohana after I had awakened that Aizen had tricked him. There was no hatred for him anywhere in my heart, only love and relief when I heard that he would make it.
Orihime was a human with powers that really were incredible. She healed him and was able to bring by his severed arm and leg, putting his body back to one hundred percent. If only she could have done the same to his heart and mind. While I did not blame him for his actions he did not think he was worthy of my smile. Saying how he broke his vow, he called himself a monster, and when everyone left us alone he broke down in my arms. It was the second time he had cried in my arms, the first time was when he first arrived in the Soul Society and everyone shunned him. I can still see him, a little boy that was so lost and confused but no one wanted to help him. I did not care how he looked, I took the boy in my arms and let him cry until he was ready to stop and took him home with me.
Time seemed to heal many of our friend's wounds and their hearts but he still remained the same. Everyday he would only sit at his desk, watching the outside world move on without him. I tried to help him as much as I could by staying by his side as much as I could, I did have to run my own division after all since there was still no Captain, but he never really seemed to change. I wanted my best friend back, I wanted the old Hitsugaya that would always scold me when I didn't address him properly. I didn't want this new one, this Hitsugaya was the real one that was cold. I had heard from many people from when I was a child to even after I became Shinigami that many had called him a walking block of ice. Not once did he ever seem that way to me, I was with him from the beginning and always I thought his small body was filled with warmth, not once did I ever feel cold around him. This Hitsugaya however, the one that refuses to speak to others, the one who can somehow make those bright teal eyes look so dark was the real block of ice.
Everyday I tried everything I could think of to get him back to normal, I called him the nickname I had for him, sat and had watermelon with him during the sunset, even did some paperwork for him. He was refusing to do it for once and Rangiku was swamped from the piles that never seemed to decrease. I was worried, I was tired and worried from the actions that he was taking but I never stopped. I refused to give up on him, no matter what I said or did he never gave up on helping me when I was dealing with the betrayal of Aizen so I will not give up on him. Nothing could stop me from helping him.
One day however I couldn't visit him, I was called away by the few new members of Central 46, they had chosen only four new members after Aizen had killed the original members, asking me to deal with an Arrancar that was left over from Aizen's rule. Unohana didn't want me to go, she said I was still recovering and shouldn't go off into battle yet but I had no other choice. Captain Yamamoto was no longer alive having killed himself to stop Aizen so he could not defend me against Central 46. I knew why they were sending me, they thought I was still waiting for Aizen to come back, they still did not trust me enough yet. They, alone with many others, still believed that I was on Aizen's side and they were using this Arrancar as a test to see whose side I was on.
I went to fight the Arrancar, Tobiume warning me to be careful and cautious, my body was still weak and my wound could reopen if I moved around to suddenly. I knew fighting in the state that I was in was dangerous but I had to do it, I wanted to prove to everyone that I was not that same girl that was defending Aizen, saying that he was a good man. I knew the truth and I knew what side I was really on. The Soul Society and the people that resided in it they were the ones that I would defend and stand up for. The Arrancar showed up faster then I expected, or wanted, it too and attacked. It called me many things, Weak, Useless, and Eye-Sore, it knew who I was by my Lieutenant's Badge. It called me a traitor for my helping destroy Lord Aizen, but it had no idea that he was the real traitor. Aizen did not care for anyone but himself, he fooled everyone into believing that he had real feelings and emotions when he was nothing more then a dark abyss that would swallow anyone that too close.
Anger was what was giving this Arrancar its strength, anger, rage, betrayal, all feelings that I knew too well and at one time used to fight against my best friend. I tried as hard as I could to fight it, I used every move with Tobiume and Kidou that I could use in my currant state but I was still injured and was losing, fast. This Arrancar was fast on its feet, its fist hitting me in the stomach and sending me flying. Tobiume cried out to me when I fell to the ground, my head was spinning and was bleeding. I couldn't get up from the pain of being hit and from having my wound reopened. I knew I couldn't fight anymore and I would die for sure. I waited for the moment to come, for me to be hit with one final strike that would take me away from this world and into another.
The strike never came, in its place came a roar of a dragon and soon after a blizzard. The ground, trees, everything in the surrounding area was covered in ice. My eyes were wide when I saw him step in front of me, killing the Arrancar in one swift strike. He had his Bankai activated but after he killed the monster he didn't say a word, he only stared at the ground before him. I did not know how he knew where to look for me, possibly Unohana or Rangiku told him where I was, but I was happy. I was glad that he had saved me from certain death and that he was no longer moping around inside his room or office. I was glad that he came out and was if only a little back to the way he used to be.
I didn't now it until he turned around to look at me how wrong I really was. His face was emotionless but his eyes showed me what he was feeling. They reflected anger, rage, and more that I wanted to ignore. His eyes, the way they looked was something I had never seen from him, I've seen the look from many Hollows, Arrancars, and Aizen but never from him. The look was from a person that enjoyed taking the life, enjoyed that he was in control, enjoyed that he had power. His eyes were dark. I tried to avoid those cold eyes by focusing on the sky but that only made my fears and worries worse. Up in the sky was Hyōrinmaru flying above us, the once bright blue ice dragon, was a dark blue. It almost looked black if you weren't up close to it. I used to love how the ice dragon looked, I considered it to be a beautiful creature but now for the first time in my life, it looked frightening.
My voice was weak but I still called out to him, my body was shaking not from fear but from the cold. It was another first for me because for once I was cold from being in his presences. He looked me over, hand went to the side of my head and wiped away some of the blood that was dripping from my wound. He looked at the blood in his hand and frowned, eyes darkening even more then they already were. He froze the blood in his hand before picking me up and flying us back to the Seireitei. He went straight to his room, not the Fourth Division like I assumed, but instead placed me on his bed. He cleaned my wounds and re-bandaged them all, even the one on my chest. I called to him again but he still did not reply, he only stood up and opened the door to the small kitchen that was in his Captain's quarters, I assumed he was just showing me where I could get food if I was hungry, before turning back around to look at me. His eyes stayed locked with mine for a moment, it seemed like he was trying to tell me something but I couldn't read what in his eyes. They were too dark for me and I couldn't understand any of it.
He was out the door in a flash and suddenly the big wooden doors were frozen over. I jumped off the bed and ran to the door, my fists pounding against the ice that was keeping me in. I looked around the room and saw that even the windows were frozen over; everything that could be an exit for me was sealed over in ice. It was during this search that I noticed that he had taken Tobiume with him preventing me from using my Zanpakuto's power from melting the ice. I left all alone in the room, my breathing came out in short gasps and my body was now shaking again only this time from fear. I wasn't afraid because I was trapped, I was afraid because he wasn't trapped and was outside with his Zanpakuto. I didn't want to think that he would hurt someone but I couldn't stop those thoughts from entering my mind. This was a new Hitsugaya, one that I didn't know so I had no clue what he would do.
It wasn't long, an hour or more, before I heard the roar of Hyōrinmaru and the cries of Shinigami. I jumped again, trying to break out of my prison using Kidou this time but it didn't work. Every time I blasted the walls of ice it would only freeze over again, even when I used advanced spells the ice would only come back, freezing over everything once more. I was trapped inside and the only noise that I could hear was the roar of Hyōrinmaru. I wondered why I did not hear the footsteps of Shinigami running by but came to the conclusion that he probably froze more then just the doors and froze over the whole hallway. I silently cried, my hands still pounding against the ice as I desperately tried to break free form this room. It didn't work no matter how many times I tried, so when night came I finally gave up. I slept in his bed, my tears soaking his pillow as I could still hear the roars of Hyōrinmaru.
For three days I was trapped in the room, the only sound I could hear was the roar of Hyōrinmaru and the screams of many Shinigami that fought against it. I knew that he was attacking them, I didn't understand why, but I didn't try and fool myself into thinking that he was just fighting against Hollows. With the ice over the windows I couldn't see what was going on outside but I could feel his reiatsu grow more and more everyday, I could feel the ice growing outside over the surroundings. I wanted to cry so much knowing what he was doing, he was attacking his friends and I couldn't understand why he was doing it. I couldn't understand what had turned him into this person that made him attack the people that he at one time fought so hard to protect.
At the end of the third day the ice that covered the doors was gone with an explosion and in its place were Rangiku and Renji. The two of them looking completely exhausted like they had been running for their lives. I ran to Rangiku as soon as I saw her and cried wit my arms wrapping around her thin waist as I cried out for what he was doing. She understood and gave me a quick hug before grabbing my hand and started running, telling me that we had to hurry and escape before it was too late. I didn't understand what she was talking about but I didn't argue and ran with her and Renji. I noticed that his Shikai was activated and it was like that the whole way as we ran.
We jumped from building to building, my eyes looking over the scenery and I finally understood why Rangiku said we needed to hurry. The entire Seireitei was in ice, every building, street, even the people were frozen over. It was like one big ice age that was taking place and it seemed like nothing could stop it. The only places that hadn't been frozen over yet were the Senzaikyū and Sōkyoku Hill. But even from the distance I could see the ice was slowly starting to make its way into covering it as well. Up in the air Hyōrinmaru was roaring down to the people below it, freezing them all over with its power. I watched the dragon as it flew up into the sky, wings spread out as it let out a giant blast of ice and froze over everything that was below it. Whoever was there was now nothing more then one big ice cube.
I felt like crying once again, my eyes already started filling over with tears as I witnessed all of this. Rangiku's hand tightened around my own and I knew that she too was suffering from this as well, after all her own Captain had just attacked and seemly killed everyone in the Seireitei. Once again I turned my gaze back to watch Hyōrinmaru freeze over everyone who fought while we ran away. However the giant dragon was no longer focusing on the people below it, if any were even left, but instead those dark blood red eyes were focusing in our direction. Even from the great distance that we were at I knew that it was staring right at us, staring right at me.
I watched as it spread it wings out once again and let out another giant roar. "Rangiku!" I screamed to her, warning her of the danger that was now coming our way at an alarming speed. Both she and Renji looked over to see that we were now being chased down by the giant dragon and both had a look of absolute terror in their eyes. I didn't blame them for having that look, I was sure that I probably had the same look in my eyes as well. We could feel it getting closer and closer to us but even still we all ran faster, putting as much power as we could into our feet to try and get away.
In that one moment I was holding the hand of a person I considered to by like my older sister, I was running with two people that were very close to me. I cared about them both, would give my life to defend them from and help me as they helped me. In the next moment we were separated by a wall of ice, the two of them being knocked over and sent flying onto the edge of the roof that we were on. The ice wall went down and spread onto the roof, it moved fast and frozen the two of them to the roof. The ice wrapping around their bodies, keeping them trapped to the roof and preventing them from attacking with their Zanpakutos. They struggled to break free, but the ice was to strong for them to break on their own.
"Rangiku! Renji!" I tried running to them, hoping to use whatever kidou I could use to get us out of here when I felt my feet were frozen over. I hadn't noticed until just now that the whole roof was covered in the layer of ice, my feet trapped by the ice and keeping me away from helping my friends. I fell to my knees; my hands were once again beating at the ice to break free, but like before the ice refused to crack.
It wasn't even a minute after that did Hyōrinmaru appeared behind me, Hitsugaya riding on its back as he stared down at us. I looked up to see him staring down at us, his dark dull eyes watching over, our still forms looking up at him. He jumped down and landed right in front of me, Zanpakuto in his hand as he stepped forward to Rangiku and Renji. I gasped when I realized the killing intent in each step he took, the others must have noticed as well because they tried once again to break free from the ice. He walked closer and closer to them, not saying a word as he went to murder two of his fellow Shinigami. One of them that was once his faithful and loyal Lieutenant that had helped him become a Shinigami in the first place, and the other being a trusted comrade that had been willing to help sacrifice his time and life to help his friends. He was going to kill them as if they were nothing, like they were nothing more then bugs that were flying around his head.
"No!" I cried out once I saw him raise the sword up to the sky, ready to kill them both in one strike. I let out as much reiatsu as I could, shattering the ice that surrounded my feet and ran to Hitsugaya. In those moments as I ran my mind flashed me back to all the times I spent with Hitsugaya, the watermelons we ate, the sunsets, the playful fighting, nicknames, every moment that we had spent together from when we first met to the present day passed in my mind as I ran to him. My arms circled around his waist from behind, I was on my knees again and my head was buried in his back as my tears fell from my eyes.
"Stop this!" I begged him, tightening my hold on his body. "Don't do this, Toshiro! They are my friends! Our friends!" I cried to him, I wanted him to stop what he was doing. I wanted him to stop fighting and hurting all the people that he had sworn to help keep safe from harm. "Toshiro, don't do this," My voice came out no louder then a whisper but I knew that he could still hear me. They all could hear me for there was no other sound being made in the entire city. "I'll do anything, so please…don't hurt them." My eyes watched as the sun went down and the ice finished covering over everything in the Seireitei.
Everyone was silent as these events took place, even my tears had stopped at this point. Hitsugaya still had his Zanpakuto raised and ready to strike but he seemed to be thinking about my plead to him. Rangiku and Renji were staring up at him, eyes wide with fear and anticipations while he remained still and silent. His head moved before his arms did, he turned back to look in my pleading eyes, tears were no longer falling but they still filled my swollen eyes as I looked into his. I was silently pleading with him again to not kill our friends. He grabbed my arms with his free hand and moved me away from him, pushing me lightly forward to sit next to him. I feared for the worse when I saw his arm come down but quickly sighed with relief when I saw that he was only putting his Zanpakuto back into its sheath. What came next was mostly a blur to me.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me up to my feet, making me follow him as he pulled me along to the waiting Hyōrinmaru. He picked me up and placed me on the Dragon's back, before jumping on himself behind me and we flew off into the sky. I gasped at the sudden take off and his arm wrapped around my waist to keep me calm, although personally I think he did that mostly to keep me from jumping down. I was tempted to try but I'd probably wouldn't make it that far down before he came rushing down after me and catch my falling form. We flew for a few short minutes before arriving above the now frozen Senzaikyū and Sōkyoku Hill. With his free hand he brought out his Zanpakuto again, using his powers on the frozen building and made the ice grow bigger and bigger. I gasped when I saw the frozen buildings were forming into a giant castle of ice.
We flew down to the castle of ice, my eyes tracing over every design, door, and window of this castle. Hitsugaya pulled me closer as we jumped off the Dragon's back together and landed with a soft thud on the frozen ground, I was amazed that I didn't slip or loss my balance once as I walked along the slippery ice. Hyōrinmaru gave one final roar into the sky before disappearing into tiny ice crystals and went back into his Zanpakuto. It was then that the doors to the castle opened up and Hitsugaya once again grabbed my hand and pulled me along inside. We passed room after room, my eyes looking over everything that was in this strange place. I could see furniture, offices, objects and it strange that they weren't covered in or made of any ice. I wondered how he did all of this, how he could arrange all of this with only his sword in such a short amount of time and still make things look in place.
We came to one final room, the door was a big as the one at the entrance but this had a giant Dragon and Phoenix as its design. The doors opened without any troubled and revealed to us a giant room. A giant light blue bed was off to the far left of the room and was right next to the stained glass windows. The bed looked like it could fit all Thirteen Captains together and still have room for more, it was so huge. The sheets were a shade lighter then the room itself, big fluffy white pillows at the very top and curtains that matched the sheets perfectly were hanging around tall black poles around the bed. Three blue couches in the middle of the room, a crystal table in the middle of three, two more doors were in the room along with some dresser and a desk off to the sides. The room itself was very beautiful and it looked like a place I wouldn't mind living in but from the moment I walked into this room I wanted to run back outside as fast as I could.
I wanted to ask what this was all about but never got the chance too. Hitsugaya used Shunpo to flash step us over to the bed and threw me onto it, not a moment later he climbed on top of me. His arms wrapped around my body, keeping me in place while his head hide in the crock of my neck. It was such an intimate pose that we were in, my cheeks were already burning from my blush as I tried to break free from his grip, but he only tightened his hold on me.
"Here," Hitsugaya spoke for the first time, his voice came out muffled from being hidden in my neck but I could still understand everything that he was saying. "We'll live here in this place together, just like how we used to in Junrinan. You won't have to worry about dying, being betrayed, or anything else that can hurt you. I can protect you in here, we can be happy again if we stay here, even Rangiku and Renji can join us if I know that they weren't hurt you," He was talking fast, something he never did and his heartbeat was beating so much, I could feel it beating against my chest. He seemed like he was unsure of my answer, almost like he was afraid that I would tell him to let me go and leave him all alone. "Stay here with me, Momo. We can live our lives peacefully together without having a care in the world, I can protect you in here, and we can love each other without having to worry about anyone. They'll be no one to stop us from being together if we stay here. "
My body froze when I heard him say those words. Love? Toshiro loved me? It was something I wasn't sure if it was real or not, for so long I saw him as a little brother and assumed that he saw me as a sister, but it seemed that I was wrong. I wondered how long he felt this way, how much he kept inside from me and thinking that it was for my own good. It was true what he was saying, Captains and Lieutenants were usually forbidden from having any other type of relationship other then comrades. Only if the Captain-Commander allowed it could you marry.
I looked outside through the stained glass windows and looked up at the moon that was peeking in, shining down at us. It was the only light in the room, showing me things that I wouldn't be able to see in the dark. I could see our shadows on the wall, Toshiro's body that was wrapped tightly around my own, how sad and lonely he looked even though he was holding me so close to him. I watched our shadows on the wall, his arms and legs that were covering my body as if trying to keep me from leaving it. My mind flashed an image once again, showing me things from my past, and I was seeing Toshiro as a kid. The same kid that the first day I'd meet him cried in my arms as I held him. I remember how desperately he held onto my body when he realized that someone was actually coming near him instead of just ignoring him. I wonder if he was afraid I would leave him after he finished crying and that's why he held me so tightly that day.
Slowly my arms moved, his body tensed at my sudden movement, probably thinking that I would push him off of me and make a break for it. The idea was tempting, it was in my mind to run out and find Rangiku and Renji and get out of here before we really became prisoners in this ice, but I didn't. Even if the idea was in my mind I wouldn't follow through with it.
I wrapped my arms around his own body with one hand on his back and the other in his hair. I pulled him closer to me and smiled as best as I could, I wanted him to feel that I was relaxed and wouldn't run from him. Just as I didn't the first day I'd meet him, I wouldn't leave him now either. "Yes, let's live here." It was a soft reply but I knew that it was speaking volumes to Toshiro. His gripped loosened some but he was still holding me tightly, almost afraid that I might still run. I wouldn't, I'd never run away from him or my new life that was coming. I would stay in the castle of ice with him forever if I'd have too. It didn't matter to me if I never saw my friends again or the outside world; I would commit my life to living in here with him. It may seem sad and crazy to others but it was what I wanted to do.
We stayed in that same position for the rest of the night, not once did he ever let me go and I did the same. I wanted him to see that I really wouldn't run away from him, so I ignored all the doubts and fears that were coming into my mind and kept smiling until sleep finally came over me. I'd woken up to sometime in the afternoon the next morning, my Shinigami clothes replaced with a light pink kimono and Tobiume lying on the pillow beside me. I was glad to see her again and hugged her close to my body, tears of joy came form my eyes when I heard her voice, asking me if I was alright. I explained to her what had happened in those few days that we were separated and she told me that she had been trying to walk with Hyōrinmaru. She told me how Hyōrinmaru was when she tried talking him into stopping his master, but he was no different though, acting in the same manner as his master was.
Although a little disappointed that even his Zanpakuto couldn't help me get the old Toshiro back, I didn't let it bother me for long. I needed to stay happy for Toshiro so that in hopes that he would unfreeze everybody and no longer act the way he was acting. I knew the chances of that were very low but I still had hope that one day the old Toshiro would return to me. Until that time came I would continue to live my life out here with this new one and learn what I can about him and see how this new life would go.
I did just that, Toshiro by my side every moment that I stayed here. He still wore his Shinigami clothing and Captain's cloak but I'd never saw my uniform again, I'm not sure when he did this did but he somehow got most of my clothes from my old room into our new one. However it was only my kimonos that came up and none of my uniforms seemed to back it on the trip. I wasn't sure but I expected that he probably destroyed them all and if the chance ever came he wouldn't let me use Tobiume again and fight. I knew that he only let me keep her because he knew how unhappy I would be if I didn't have my Zanpakuto with me. At the first sign of me using her for anything he's probably freeze my hands and take her away from me so I always ignored her cries when she said that we had a chance of escaping.
Some days if he had too, he would leave and in his place Rangiku and Renji would come to keep me company. I kept a calm look on my face the first time I saw that they were alive and well, they still wore their Shinigami uniforms but they didn't have their Zanpkautos with them. Once Toshiro left and I was sure he was long gone, I ran to Rangiku's and buried myself into her chest and silently cried with relief at seeing them. I made sure to keep my face hidden and my voice soft, having learned that the ice in the castle kept Toshiro aware of everything that happened in it. I warned them both in a whisper of this the first day and we made sure to think before we spoke and reword many things so Toshiro wouldn't understand that we were really talking about.
I asked them what was going on outside and Rangiku replied in a sugarcoated form of how things were outside. Toshiro had unfrozen most of the Squad Four people, Unohana and her Lieutenant being one of the few that weren't frozen over in the raid. Captain Ukitake and Captain Kyōraku were also unfrozen but it seems that Toshiro placed seals on them and everyone else that he unfroze. With the ice covering over the entire Seireitei he knows everything that is going on so he can release the seals on them if they are in any type of anger. Rangiku has described it to me as if a King was watching over his people when she was really saying that it was a paranoid ruler that feared a rebellion so he kept everyone under his watchful gaze at all times.
I was beginning to understand what was going on outside and how it was dealing. Most who were unfrozen only fought Hollows or were in the human world helping souls pass on into the Soul Society. It was peaceful world but it was a world that I knew many did not like, I knew Toshiro was the one controlling this new world and learned a little later from Renji that he only goes out to deal with people if he believes they are going or already have tried to rebel against him. That was becoming less and less lately so he was almost always with me, I'd sometimes see Rangiku and Renji from time to time but not as often as before. So far they were the only other ones that I had have any contact with, but they tell me whenever I see them that all of our friends Izuru, Nanao, Iba, Nemu, Isane and more were doing fine. I was always happy to hear that they were not a frozen block of ice and they were alive and well. According to Rangiku they miss me and I always tell her to tell them that I miss seeing them as well.
One day however I was finally able to talk with Rangiku and Renji in private, away from the watchful eyes of Toshiro. Every Zanpakuto and its master have their own world where they can communicate with each other, so one night when Toshiro and I went to sleep I went into that world and carefully used enough power to call out to the two of them without waking up Toshiro. They were shocked and surprised when they made their way into this dream like world but I was able to calm them down fast enough without them releasing any unnecessary reiatsu. I was still new at this so it would take a while for me to be able to come up with a way to block off Toshiro from sensing this place, and it wasn't easy with a guy that always slept right up against you, head on your chest and arms around your waist. I was amazed that he didn't know what I was dreaming when he slept that close to me.
The dream world was nothing more then one big living room, three bright red couches and a light brown wooden table in the middle of us. It was in this world that I asked them to explain everything that they couldn't tell me in the outside world. It was here that I learned about Toshiro going out only to deal with those who wanted to rebel against him, freezing them over completely before shattering them in the ice so they could never break free. It seemed now that everyone was just beginning to accept the world that they lived in now and no one else was planning on trying to rebel.
Soon enough I asked if either of them knew why Toshiro had done this. If they knew why he had attacked his friends and fellow Shinigami and created this new ice world? It was the one question that I had been dying to ask from the very beginning but was too scared to ask to Toshiro himself. I didn't know how he might act if I did, if he would think Rangiku and Renji or someone was using me to help rebel against him or if he would even tell me at all.
Rangiku was the one to answer me, she told me that the day that Toshiro freed them from the ice covered roof she had asked him why he had attacked everyone. He didn't answer her at first, she said that he only put the seals on them and was ready to leave them when she grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and picked him off the ground, making him look at her in the eyes for once. She held him up to her face so she could yell into it, demanding an answer from him. I'd almost wanted to laugh at the sight of Rangiku picking up a grown Toshiro like some bratty kid that had called her a name and yelling at him but I stopped myself before I did that. She told me that he slapped her hand away and finally gave her his answer once his feet touched the ground. His exact words to her were…
"I'm doing this for her, I refused to have anymore of her blood spilled for these people! They don't care about her, none of them care if she dies or not, and I refuse to allow a world that would sacrifice her without a second though so that's why I'm doing this. I'll create the perfect world that I will be able to watch over, I'll be able to keep her safe with me. No one will ever take her away from me again and we'll be happy, we'll always be happy together. Only I can protect her, only I can keep her blood from being spilled, only I can keep that smile on her face, only I…I'm the only one that can love her and have her! No one else can take her away from me again! Momo is mine!"
My body was shaking at the end of her story, I finally understood why Toshiro was doing this and yet I wished I'd never asked. I didn't think his answer would be like that, I didn't think he would say something as crazy as that. Renji described to me that look in Toshiro's eyes that day wasn't a look that seemed stable. He said it almost like those crazy eyes that Captain Zaraki would give when he was enjoying a good fight. Toshiro was doing all this to keep me from getting hurt and because he didn't want to lose me. He was so afraid of losing me that he started this whole thing to keep me all to himself.
The world slowly started to fade after that, I knew I had probably exhausted Tobiume and I could feel Toshiro waking up in the real world so I said a quick goodbye to Rangiku and Renji, telling them that I would try and do this again. The dream world faded and I awoke to the real world with a start, my body jumped when I opened my eyes and Toshiro's arm tightened around my waist, telling me that he was now fully awake. Taking in a deep breath I was able to calm myself down fast enough to tell him that I only had a bad dream and there was nothing to worry about. I wasn't sure he believed me but he didn't question me, he only moved it so he was once again lying on top of me and holding my body close to his, holding me so close that he could feel my heartbeat and I could feel his. He would often do this some night when he thought, or dreamed, that I was still thinking about running away.
Having been used to this I wrapped my own arms around him, one hand on his back and the other in his hair just like our first night here. My fingers automatically running through his soft white hair while I hummed a soft tune trying to calm down his mind that was still probably thinking that I would run. We stayed like that for a few minutes and I figured that he wouldn't let go for the rest of the night so I closed my eyes to go back to sleep. I was used to him doing this; he did this samething back when we used to live in Junrinan after I first took him home. He would go to sleep in his own bed but I would always wake up to find him sleeping on top of me, his little hands holding me tightly afraid that he would be all alone again. I'd never told him this and only put our two beds together to make it seem like I was the one that moved in their sleep. Even as a child he still cared about his pride and hated being viewed as a weak little boy. He stopped after a few months and stayed in his own bed, and although he would complain that our beds were so close together, he never once moved his bed away from mine.
"Momo," My eyes were still closed when he called me, sleep was already starting calm me as I gave a soft "yes" to him. I wasn't really concerned with what he wanted to say, the feeling of sleep was to powerful, but I kept myself awake long enough to let him finish his sentence. "Marry me."
That drove the sleep right out of me, my eyes open and wide when he said that. He wanted us to get married? I was already living with him and told him that I would never leave him but it seemed that what Renji said was true. Toshiro told them that he did all this because he wanted to protect me and for me to be all his so I guess getting married was the final sign that would show him that I really was all his and that I would never leave his side. Although I was sure that the real final sign would be me having children.
It only took me a minute to smile and reply. "Yes." I was sure he could feel my heartbeat increase with this but who wouldn't after having some purpose to them. I wasn't expecting any of this to happen but I would allow it too, I wasn't unhappy with him and I did care for him and I was positive that one day I could love him as he does me. I would marry him, become his wife, have his children, and spend every moment I could with him and I knew one along the way the old Toshiro would show up. The one that scowled me for calling him "Shiro-Chan", the one that always wore a scowl on his face but would always smile for me when we were alone, the same one that I ate watermelon with and watched the sunset as we both made that one special promise to always protect each other. I was sure he would come back, that famous scowl back on his face when he hears the word Shiro come out of my mouth, so for now I would live my life out the way it was now and wait for him to show up.
"Momo, you're really quite." He seemed worried but I quickly rushed away his worries, running my hands through his hair once again and smiled into the white locks. It seemed that he had grown some in these last few months. It figures that a war and him attacking the Seireitei would the trigger that made him grow.
"I'm just a little nervous. After all I've never been married before." I wouldn't let him know that I was actually really afraid that even after the marriage I may not ever see my old Toshiro, my Shiro-Chan.
"Don't worry," I could feel him smiling on me, it felt light and a little weird but I didn't say anything and ignored the weird feeling of him smiling on my chest. "We'll be happy together, I promise you that. We'll be together forever." He moved his head away from my chest and moved his head to kiss me, his lips were cold but I was used to them and kissed back. It was strange to say that a guy that once hated showing his emotions or feelings loved kissing. From day one in my stay here he kissed me every night, morning, or whenever we were alone.
Together Forever. The words flashed into my mind but I quickly pushed them back before my body had the chance to tense up again. I was scared about getting married but that wouldn't stop me. I missed the old Toshiro and I would get him back, I would wait for him to come to me and help me save this world. And even if he didn't come, though I really hoped he did, I knew he was somewhere inside this one that I was kissing. He was still alive and well and whenever I would call this one Shiro-Chan he would be silently scolding me to call him "Captain Hitsugaya".
