We were barely eighteen when we crossed collective hearts

It was cold, but it got warm when you barely crossed my eye

And you turned, put out your hand, and you asked me to dance

I knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight

They've been sharing glances at each other all night, hesitant gazes, flushed cheeks and darting eyes as soon as they meet. It's awkward and electric and neither of them quite know what's happening between them.

They'd nodded hello when he first arrived, but they were in a whole group, the old and the new, and it was more avoided gazes and shuffling feet than anything real or substantial.

But now there's a song playing softly, cascading memories of soft hands and smiling eyes seep into Kurt's mind like smoke getting lost in the air. he smiles because it's cheesy and reminiscent and ABBA, seriously? But it's a nice memory, it's wistful and meaningful and he feels his heart ache as he glides over to Blaine, slowly, confidently.

'Excuse me. may I have this dance?'

Blaine stiffens and turns, his eyes widen in shock even though he knew without a doubt who it was, he swallows dryly and nods his head. Kurt smiles, taking his hand and leading him out to the dance floor.

The air hangs thick with wistful romance, the evening both dark and light, hanging low over the entire wedding party. The music is loud enough to break through bodies but soft enough to leave your thoughts as your own. The atmosphere curls around the happy couples and longing individuals, it's thick and constricting and easy to wade through, refreshing almost.

They dance together. It's awkward, neither of them daring to look at the other and both of them breathing too quickly, hearts pounding and heads rushing. Blaine's hand flickers at Kurt's hip, soft and hot through the dark material.

'This was our first dance.' Blaine smiles, eyes flicking up to meet Kurt's before looking away quickly. Kurt's about to make a sharp remark about how it's not being the first dance at their wedding until he realises they don't do that anymore. They aren't Kurt and Blaine who will inevitably get married in the future. 'I was so proud of you then.' Blaine doesn't mention that that was the first time he realised he loves Kurt, that he'd been too afraid to say it so he just danced and smiled and tried to protect him in any way he could. He doesn't mention that sitting on the floor in that corridor, watching Kurt cry was the most helpless he's ever felt and that just being in his presence makes him a stronger person. He doesn't mention that the last few months without him have been the weakest of his life.

Back then all he saw was his prince in a crown needing support, he saw Kurt's smile and Kurt's courage and not once did eternity cross his mind. He didn't imagine futures and weddings and the love of his life. He just saw love, he just felt love, teenage love, and he knew that if he was with Kurt he could do anything, because Kurt wouldn't let them touch them, or what they have.

Had.

'I think we need to talk.' Blaine drowns in Kurt's eyes, burning like fire. He shivers under the gaze, unsure what it means or what it holds. He nods and they walk away from the world as the last few lines of dancing queen fade into something slower and sadder that he doesn't have the will to listen to.

They head outside, into the expanse of garden. The night is drawing in, hanging dark and low all around them, but the buildings and the ground are still lit with a dying light, pale in the darkness. It's cold, now that they're away from radiating bodies and trapped heat. The noise from the reception mixes into blur, the hum of a butterfly's wings in the distance. The moon is hanging low and full and and the stars are trying to force their way out too soon.

If this were another time Blaine would walk up close behind Kurt, threading their fingers together easily and walking so close to him you'd think they were branches of the same twisted tree. If this were any other time they'd walk closer and quicker, legs brushing and hands swinging. If this were any other time Blaine would whisper excitedly and Kurt would laugh and things wouldn't be hanging so delicately in the balance.

They walk apart, awkward and slow, far too aware of the fact that their bodies aren't touching, aren't even close. Their breathing is heavy, expectant, conspicuous in the evening air. Kurt shivers, drawing his arms in around himself and hissing through his teeth.

'Who has a wedding in February?'

'It's romantic.'

'It's freezing.'

'Do you want my coat?' Blaine's already slipping it off his shoulders before his breath has dissipated in the cold air.

'No no it's fine.'

If this was any other time Blaine would have insisted and Kurt would have agreed. If this was any other time Blaine would have assured Kurt that they'd have a summer wedding and none of his guests would have to be cold.

He doesn't.

They find a bench at edge of the darkness and sit in a silence that tickles at their skin and works away at their minds. They face the rest of the universe, that little slice where people are laughing and dancing and eating cake. And they're here, shivering under the stars and refusing to make eye contact. There is still a faint buzz in the distance, unaffecting to them, a soft glow on what would be the horizon if you could make it out, instead it just sits, lights and silhouettes and a place they seem to have outgrown.

'You wanted to talk?' Kurt nods in agreement, eyes glazed over as they stare into the distance, he isn't done having his moment yet, he's too busy thinking about what was and what could have been. What they are and what they weren't. He's too busy remembering the wedding scrap book he'd ripped up in something that wasn't rage and wasn't sorrow but was some excrutiating mix of fire and ice and betrayal. 'Well I just want you to know that I'm sorry, I am honestly-'

'No. I already know how you feel. I want you to know how I feel.'

'And… how is that?' Blaine asks uncertainly when Kurt makes no move to carry on.

'You have to understand, when you- after what happened, I was angry, I was so angry I could barely even listen to your name and I didn't think I could ever forgive you.' Kurt turns to face Blaine, hands reaching out and then faltering before they're even half way there.

'Kurt I-'

'No. let me finish. But then I was just sad, because… I didn't know what to do, the only person who could make me feel any better was the person that had made me feel that awful in the first place, and I missed you, and I hated myself for it. You broke my trust and you betrayed me and it felt like my universe was burning up around me. It was awful. And it was your fault… But I've tried- everyone keeps telling me I just need more time but I've tried moving on, I've tried seeing other people, I've tried sleeping with other people.' Blaine's eyes widen almost comically at that, a look of pain and disappointment flashes across his face before Kurt gives him a wry look. 'I don't think you have any right to be upset by that.'

'You're right and I under-'

'I'm not finished yet honey. I've tried moving on, and it doesn't work, because there are wonderful people out there, people I could fall in love with, but none of them would tell me they love me in their sleep or hate watch reality TV with me, or know exactly what kind of coffee I need from the look on my face, none of them would worry to the point of obsession about their hair and none of them would pull off a bow tie half as well as you do. None of them would have our memories or our secret glances and I'm almost 100% sure that none of them would make me a promise ring out of my favourite kind of gum wrappers. None of them would be you.'

'Why are you telling me this?'

'We haven't really discussed where we are so I think we should. I was hurt, for a long time, and I think you were too, we were both children, even then we had a far more stable relationship than most of our peers, but it was based off idolisation, light in the dark, white knights in impeccable armour. I think we were both a little to blame and I think we needed a few growing pains to get us back on track, does that make sense?'

'I don't understand are we?- do you?- are you saying you want to? Am I forgiven?'

'I think… I think you are, I think you have been for a long time, and if you're willing, I'd like to give us another chance, if you'll have me.'

'I-' Blaine stops to laugh back tears, not so subtly blinking them away and hoping that Kurt doesn't notice. 'Are you sure? Because I can wait, I will wait for as long as you need until you're sure, until you know.'

'I do know. You are the love of my life and everyone keeps telling us we're naive for thinking that because we're just teenagers but I've tried living without you and it's not- you saved me, when I was in a really bad place, and you've supported me, you make me laugh and you make me smile and I want us to be us again, you are my best friend and I want us to be Kurt-and-Blaine who come with their names hyphenated together. I want you to be my boyfriend again.'

'I'm- I really- I love you.'

'Blaine don't cry.'

'I'm not.'

'I can see the tears.' Kurt thumbs at the few stray tears that are glistening at the rim of Blaine's eyes, smiling fondly and trying to convey a message and a promise and an inevitability in the stroke of a hand.

'So does this? Can I?' Blaine's eyes flick down to Kurt's lips hesitantly, searching in the endless sky of Kurt's eyes for some kind of confirmation. Kurt smiles and leans forward pressing their lips together softly, sweetly. It's tamer than the first kiss they ever had together and that makes Kurt smile against Blaine.

'I want you to know that I'm sorry too, it doesn't make what you did okay, that will probably always hurt me in some way, but I know that it wasn't entirely your fault, I'm partly to blame too, so don't you dare think it was all your fault okay? I'm sorry.'

'Kurt it wasn't, don't ever think-'

'I'm not innocent here Blaine, we both just need to communicate more, to tell each other what's wrong, we'll get through this. We'll be us again.'

'Does this mean I can kiss you again?'

'You can kiss me again.' Kurt smiles and leans forward, bracing his hands on Blaine's shoulders and clinging on, pulling his boyfriend- boyfriend!- forward and breathing him in as their lips meet. They both smile, they can't seem to stop, and it makes kissing a little awkward but they don't care because it's Kurt and it's Blaine and it's Kurt-and-Blaine and they're kissing and they're in love and it's as if they've never been away, setting themselves in the indent of each other's lips, and finding places in hands as they explore something they never really forgot. It's like listening to your favourite song after not hearing it for so long, you remember every nuance, every guitar strum and every breath, the crescendos and the sudden stops, the speed at which it fades at the very end, but it's new and it's exciting and it makes you ache just as much as the first time you heard it, lying alone in a dark bedroom in the middle of the night. Blaine smells like raspberries and cinnamon and something heavy and musky and so very male, but he's sweet too, and sharp. Kurt breathes in deeply through his nose, letting the familiar smell hit him and flood his mind with a thousand little memories, the noise Blaine makes when he's just woken up, the way he sticks his tongue out when he concentrates too hard and the way his little finger always holds on extra tight when they're holding hands. It reminds him of the way Blaine licks his lips when he's nervous or how he folds his shirts, things that he never even notices until he's not noticing them all the time. It's familiar and it's warm and Kurt can't get enough, he grabs a hold of Blaine's lapels and pulls him forwards deepening their kiss further.

When they break away their jagged breaths make patterns in the cold night air, their eyes are wild and alight, glistening like the pulse of a supernova too far above them to see. Their hands interlock, foreheads pressed together and fingers itching to pull each other closer, to feel skin and heat and bodies. Kurt shivers, nestling closer against Blaine and the heat he always seems to radiate, Blaine pulls him in happily, lifting his coat up and wrapping it as far around both of them as it will manage to go.

'Do you want- you're cold, do you want to go back inside.' Blaine looks at Kurt, solemn almost, serious and honest as if all he wants in life is for Kurt not to be cold, he would fight a thousand men and kill a thousand more if it just meant Kurt could get to somewhere warm. It's always scared Kurt a little bit, that look, intense and passionate and terrifying, he never really understood it until his Dad pointed out that it's the same one he gives Blaine every time he looks away.

'I um, my car is in the parking lot, if you wanted to…' Blaine grabs Kurt's hand, pulling him up and lacing their fingers together as he makes his way determinedly across the lawn.

When the future arrives and they find themselves looking back on that evening, neither of them can actually remember how they made it to Kurt's car, their memories stop with hands clasped and feet almost running off into the night air, and pick up with Kurt dropping his car keys three times before they can even get the door open.

Kurt falls haphazardly into the back of the car, ignoring the awkward moment when he hits his head and his feet get stuck and Blaine trips and lands on top of him. They don't care because the door is slamming shut behind them and the their bodies are pressed up against each other. Blaine straddles Kurt's hips, leaning down so he's lying almost completely on top of the older boy and finally kissing him again. It's only been a few minutes since their last kiss but it feels like eternity.

'I love you. I love you I love I love you.' Blaine whispers, punctuating each 'I love you' with a kiss to Kurt's jaw and Kurt's neck and Kurt's cheek. It's roaming hands and writhing bodies and trying to remember those spots that drive each other wild.

'I missed you.' Kurt murmurs, pulling Blaine down, urging him to rest completely on top of him and joining their mouths together. He licks along Blaine's lips and then past them into his mouth and Blaine's taste and Blaine's heat. It's messy and desperate, tongues and lips and words being swallowed before they're even said.

The car is small and crowded with their bodies, heat radiating from them and warming the once cold atmosphere. They cling to each other, kissing deeper and deeper and deeper. Kurt slides on the leather seats and Blaine tries to hold him in place, threading his hands through Kurt's hair and playing with it gently, breathing in the smell of hairspray and aftershave and Kurt.

Somewhere along the way ties and jackets are lost, thrown in the vague vicinity the front seat while never once do they leave each others lips. Kurt licks into Blaine's mouth and Blaine just lets him take, as if they'll never get to kiss again, although they know without a doubt they will. They never want to stop kissing each other.

It's desperate and frenzied, hands and hearts and souls, and before long Blaine finds himself grinding down against Kurt. They're both half hard, they'd been ignoring it for a while, too busy finding themselves in each other again, but it's getting too much. Blaine's pressing his hips down and Kurt's pressing his hips up and it's as if they fit together like, well like missing puzzle pieces. They grind together, getting lost in wave after wave of unbridled youth and passion and love, it's like the first time they tried this in a dark room on a cold bed, anxious and hesitant. They'd stopped after the first few minutes that time, but now they just continue, knowing they have forever to waste.

'I missed you. I missed this.' Kurt pants against Blaine, he buries his head in the other boys neck and grabs at his shoulders, pushing him down and kissing him again.

'Me too.' Blaine groans, thrusting harder against Kurt and stopping momentarily as they both moan from the friction. They gasp, clothed cocks pulsing with need and minds clouded with lust. Blaine tries to press down again but Kurt doesn't move with him.

'Blaine stop stop.' Kurt pants, kissing away the pout on Blaine's lips and bringing his hand up to stroke at the side of his face. Blaine looks down in confusion and what could even be a hint of fear at Kurt.

'What's wrong.' He tries to keep his hips still, he really does, but Kurt's so gorgeous with his hair mussed up and his shirt half done up, his eyes are dark and his lips are red and Blaine doesn't ever want to stop. Never.

'Stop stop honey.' Kurt tries again, still absentmindedly pushing his hips up to meet Blaine's, his legs are trembling and his hands are still digging into Blaine's shoulders.

'Did I do something wrong?' Blaine asks quietly, turning his eyes downwards and trying (and failing) to move off of Kurt.

'No no you didn't.' Kurt turns Blaine's face up so they're looking into each other's eyes. he moves forwards, once again capturing Blaine lips in a kiss. It's deep and drawn out, tongues teasing each other and lips moving in synchronisation together, but the minute Blaine starts to grind down again Kurt pulls away.

'I don't want our first time… being intimate together after this long to be in the form of grinding in the back seat of a car.' Kurt says in a rush when blaine whines at the loss of contact.

'Wouldn't be the first time.' He shoots back, eyes never leaving Kurt's shiny red lips. Kurt laughs, smiling and gently pushing at Blaine until he gets off him and they're sat facing each other on the back seat.

'Come on. Let's go back to the party, we have the rest of our lives to make out in the back of cars.' Kurt shoots Blaine a smirk and wink, making both their cheeks flush are darker red than they already are.

'What are we supposed to do about this?' Blaine gestures to their laps where both their erections are straining against the fancy black material.

'Why don't wait here a little until we cool down?' Kurt shuffles up close to Blaine's side, both their arms wrapping around each other in a way that's so familiar to them they don't even think about. Kurt nestles his head on Blaine's shoulder, nuzzling into the warm skin of his neck and planting a kiss against his jaw.

'Not helping.' Blaine mumbles, giving Kurt a squeeze and holding him tight.

'sshhh.'

And almost fifteen minutes later when they walk back to the wedding reception hand in hand no one bats an eyelid. The world keeps spinning, the music keeps playing and only a few members of New Directions, old and new, share knowing smirks with each other and leave it at that. It's easy to slip back into what was if you never really left it.

'Hey Blaine.'

'Yes?'

'I love you too.'