Holidays In Handcuffs ch. 1


Santana's P.O.V

Fuckin hell! This isn't where I thought I would be in this point in my life and sadly I have no one to blame for it but myself. I'm 24 years old, fucking hot as hell in a New York airport waiting on my 'girlfriend' to hurry the hell up so we can our flight to fuckin Lima, Ohio for the holidays. I can't believe that I have to do this but I don't have a fuckin choice with my parent forcing me to come home for the holidays. I have been dodging coming home since I left after graduation to go to New York to attend NYU for my degree in law.

I graduated after 4 years of hard work and working for a law firm for the last 2 years working my way to become a legit lawyer. My bosses made work for it to get any good cases and I haven't lost a single case yet. My competition for cases is this bitch that has sleeping with our bosses to get them while I'm working my asses the right way and barely getting anywhere. I know that I could be doing the exactly same thing as her and I know that I could do better because well… have you seen me: I'm fuckin hot as hell but I don't think I'll be able to look my clients or Berry in the eye if I did.

NYU isn't that far from NYADA where Berry and Lady Hummel were going and crashed at their place and it was only supposed to be for awhile until I found a place. A few days turned into 4 years and honest the two drama queens had become my best friends and I don't know what I would without them but just don't tell them that. I still have a rep as badass to maintain but I can't afford to lose it now but they have there for me more times than I could count especially Berry after everything I did to her in high school.

I was a major bitch to her but it was the only way that I could hide my feelings for her. I know, I know who would believe that I, Santana Lopez, have a crush on Rachel fucking Berry but I did. Hell I still do but I can't tell her that because I know that she doesn't feel the same for me and I have dealt with that in my way. Why would she like me after everything I did to her in high school? I know that I change since high school and the petite singer said time and time again that she's forgiven me but I haven't. No one should have to go through what I put Rachel through and it wasn't even for a good enough to hide my feelings for her.

I bullied her, called her terrible names, and thrown slushies in her face because I was too much of coward to admit that I am in love with her. I want to and I really did but my insecurities about being out scared the hell out of me. They caused me to lose both the girls that I cared about the most because of it. I'll never have Brittany back because she love Stubbles McCripplePants and she's happy with me. All I want is for her to be happy if he makes her happy than I won't stand in their way no matter how much it hurts and I lost Rachel to the Jolly Green Giant and to the Man Whore.

She kept going back to Finn no matter how many times he broke her heart with his indecisiveness of what he wanted to do with his life. I was hella happy when the petite singer decided to kick his oafish ass to the curb and move to New York to live out her dream but in the progress she meets Brody aka Man Whore. I knew that something wasn't right with him because my Mexican Third Eye is never wrong. I snooped around to find out that he's a fucking man whore and pimping himself out to pay for his tuition or so he says.

I threaten him that if he hurts Rachel in any way that I would let Snixx out and mop the floor with his ass. The petite singer comes home that night with a sigh after she broke up with the Man Whore after I told her about what he does for a living. At first she didn't want to believe but she knows deep in her heart that I was telling her the truth and I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. It seem to bring us closer as friends but I still had to keep her at a distance if fear of Rachel finding out my true feelings. I know that she's okay with knowing my biggest secret about my penis and I couldn't more grateful that she never told anyone about it even through she had every reason to tell everyone.

The only ones that knew in high school was Brittany and Quinn because they're my best friends and of all the sleepovers that we had in middle schools with popping morning woods the next day. They didn't look at me any different and promised to never tell anyone even after everything that went down between us. Anyways back to my current dilemma with my parents pressuring me to come home for the holidays. I haven't home since I moved to New York and they really want to see me but the reason they want me to come home is because my stupid brother Alejandro spilled the beans about me having a girlfriend.

I haven't had a girlfriend since Brittany and me broke up and they think I need to meet a nice girl to settle down with. I've got out on a few dates since moving here but nothing really worked until one day I meet this girl that I really like. Her name is Dani and she's funny, cute and layback and a freak in bed but I think my parents would like her but there's lays the problem. She's not Rachel no matter how I wish that she was or how much I like her. Dani and me broke up some time before Thanksgiving because it wasn't working out but remain good friends.

If only Alejandro had kept his mouth shut then I wouldn't been in this situation in the first place. When I get there, I'm gonna murder his ass and hide the fucking body. In Lima, there's plenty of places to hide a body and never been found again but don't ask me how I know that. I came home after a conversation with Mami and her badgering me into coming with my girlfriend to find a certain diva sitting on our couch in our pent house apartment a few block from Broadway. With both of our paychecks, we were finally able to move out of that shitastic loft and into something a lot better.

Kurt moved into Brownstone with Blaine 2 years after all this time and with Anderson getting his shit together to purpose which lady Hummel agreed to. I'm happy for the both of them because they both deserve each other but I can't help but feel jealous of what they have because I want that with Rachel but I know that it will never happen. It's a line that I won't be able to cross with her because I don't want to lose what I have with her. This is how I got into another situation to fix the situation that I'm in.


I flopped on the couch, letting out a loud, irritated sigh as I rub my tired eyes.

"Are you okay, San? You seem more tired than usual." Rachel said concerned.

"I'm fine"

"You don't seem fine. Is it work related?" Rachel asked setting her magazine down.

"No, it's not work related. It's just my Mom and her badgering me into coming home for the holidays" I said frowning.

"What is wrong with going home for the holidays? It is the prefect time to be around loved ones and being close with one another in holiday cheer. It has been quite awhile since the last time you went home and I can understand your Mother wanting to see you even if it is for a few days" Rachel said smiling.

"She's expecting me to come home with my girlfriend because my stupid brother couldn't fucking keep his mouth shut. If I don't show up with someone then I'm gonna have to sit through another dinner with my family asking when I'm gonna settle down and I don't want to sit through that again" I said shaking my head.

"I see your dilemma" Rachel said rubbing her chin.

"It's just easier to show up" I said sinking into the couch.

"Or you could show up with your girlfriend"

"Rach, you know that Dani and me broke up a month ago"

"I do know this but what if I pretend to your girlfriend for the trip. No one would know that it's not true except for the two of us" Rachel said smiling at her 'brilliant' idea.

I looked at her so quick that I'm sure that I almost gave myself whiplash as I looked at her in shock. I'm for sure that I heard her wrong and I didn't hear what I just heard. Rachel didn't just suggest what I thought she did, did she? Who is this girl that's sitting across from me.

"No Rachel, it's a bad idea" I said shaking my head.

"It's not a bad idea, San. You'll have someone to show off to your family and what's better than a successful Broadway star and a rather attractive at that. Plus this will be perfect practice for me as well" Rachel said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Of course you would turn this into an acting exercise" I said playing rolling my eyes. "But you're my best friend and I couldn't ask that of you, Rachel"

"You don't have to ask me because I'm offering to do it and I care about you. Please let me do this for you, Santana" Rachel said taking my hands in her own.

I looked her in the eyes and I saw nothing bit sincerity in her eyes I knew that she would do this without me asking her to. The petite singer stuck her lip out in her infamous Rachel Berry pout and I knew that I was a goner because she uses this on every time she doesn't get her way. I fall for every time: hook, line and sinker.

"Fine, fine just turn the pout off" I said rolling my eyes annoyed.

"You won't regret this, San" Rachel said throwing her arms around my neck.

I'm already regretting do this. I just hope that my feelings don't end up coming somehow ruining my relationship with her.


As you can see, I am very much screwed as I waited for Rachel to hurry so we get this over with. I have my carry out bad resting on my shoulder with my headphones around my neck.

"You could've helped me, you know"

I smirked at how annoyed the voice sounded to how around to have an annoyed look directed at me. I might have changed since high school but old habits die hard and annoying Rachel is still my favorite pastime.

"I could've but I really didn't want to" I said smirking.

"You're such a ass" Rachel said rolling her eyes.

"True but you love it" I said chuckling.

"Whatever you say, baby" Rachel said shaking her head.

"Baby? What the hell?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"We are dating so we might as well as have terms of endearment for each other if we are to pull this off" Rachel said shrugging her shoulders.

"Whatever" I said rolling my eyes.

I can't help the way my heart beating a little fast at the nickname but I willed it to stop. I can't afford to fall even further for this girl even more than I already have because I know that this whole thing with us dating is fake and I'll never have the diva the way that I want her. The sooner I get over that then better off I am and we can put this behind us while keeping our friendship intact.

"Now boarding flight 258 to Lima, Ohio. Now boarding flight 258 to Lima, Ohio"

I pulled out my ticket when something grabs my hands and I look to see that it's a slightly smaller hand. I look to see that it belongs to Rachel as she leads me towards the tunnel before giving our tickets to the flight attendant before getting on the plane. We quickly find our seats as I put our bags in the cabinet above our heads before sitting in the middle seat next to the petite singer by the window. I take in a deep breath in order to calm my growing anxiety because not many people know that I have a fear of extreme heights.

I can get roller coasters just fine but any higher than that, I start freaking out and having pain attacks. Brittany was the only one that was able to keep me calm and not think about how high we were but I don't have her anymore. I nearly jumped out of my skin when something grabs my hand to see that it's only Rachel and I let out a shaky nervous breath of relief. I look to see a concern look on the diva's face and I hate that it's there because I don't need anyone's concern or pity. I'm still a badass no matter what.

"Are you okay, San? You look pale"

"I'm fine"

"But you just had a death grip on the armrest and you look like you're ready to bust out of the plane window. Please tell me what's wrong" Rachel said pleadingly.

"I'm afraid of heights" I said sighing.

"Really? But you got all the roller coasters at the amusement park for grad night so I don't understand how you're afraid of heights" Rachel said confused.

"I can handle roller coaster but riding on airplanes scare the hell out of me. All the times that I have been on one, I had Brittany to distract me but I don't know and I'm freaking out" I said shaking my head.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of because everyone has something that they're afraid of. You might not have Brittany but you do have me and I'll help you through this" Rachel said kissing me on the cheek.

All my anxiety seemed to dissipate after feeling Rachel's lips against my cheek but it also electricity through the rest of my body. I didn't even notice the plane taking off because I was trying to keep the blush off my face. I'm hoping that it's true about ethnic people not being able to blush. This is gonna be one long holiday.


End of ch. 1