Senior Senior Year: The Best Year Ever
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers: More or less everything through Goodbye except the last scene with Santana and her mother and the Quinn/Sue scene because…just…ugh.
Summary: The first day of school for the 2012-2013 school year brings with it a new Head Cheerio and a new Assistant Cheerio Coach. Brittany and Santana three months post-Goodbye.
A/N: I started writing this when the spoilers first broke out about Brittany not graduating. Obviously Santana was graduating because all of the Glee banners had her in the picture with the other graduating Seniors. This is my version of Season 4.
Warnings: Mild language, not a lot of dialogue for this chapter…also not beta-ed.
Rant: I am so disgusted with Glee, not only for doing that to Brittany (and Santana, by association), but also for their general inconsistency with her character. Season 1 when all of the academically ineligible Cheerios are suspended from practice, Brittany was one of only three still able to participate (with Santana and Quinn). There is no way Britt could have a 0.0 GPA and have been a Senior…or class president. Finn is infinity times dumber…and even cheated off Britt before so he shouldn't have graduated either. Fuck you Glee.
THE BEST PLOT SETUP EVER
William McKinley High School. Graduation 2012. Several underclassmen were present for the event. Not because they had friends, siblings or other relatives graduating. No, they attended just to make sure that one Santana Lopez really was graduating.
Despite her all-too-brief stint as a 'Bully Whip' and a fleeting lull in her abhorrent behavior once she had been publicly outed to the entire state, she had been an unholy terror to students and faculty alike. In fact, had it not been through fear of a certain villainous coach who was terrifying enough before the pregnancy hormones kicked in, the faculty might have even had a small celebration to commemorate the great moment in school history. No longer would Santana Lopez be tormenting, manipulating or psychologically abusing them.
7:48 am. Tuesday. 4 September 2012. A day that will live in infamy.
For the fifth year in a row, students are paralyzed with shock and awe. The undeniably gorgeous woman with deeply tanned skin, smoldering eyes and a body to die – or kill – for struts down the hall with smug smirk painted onto her lips along with her sparkly red lip gloss. Those that have been there at any time in the last three years react in ways ranging from fear, arousal, trauma, jealousy and anger. New students and freshmen all seem to reflect a fairly generic mix of curiosity, lust and envy.
Though, as she passes, a new wave of terror crashes down on those that know of the notorious Santana Lopez. Still, something about Santana is…different. The uniform. The clothes. Santana isn't wearing a Cheerio uniform. Unusual, but not exactly unheard of since she spent several months of her Junior year off the squad. However, she'd spent that time dressing a certain way and, if not in uniform, there is a certain style that she'd been known to follow. This is not it.
Menacing as she was in her Cheerio uniform, especially with her Varsity captain jacket, this is worse on an entirely different level.
Sweatpants. Cheerio red. 'WMHS' printed in bold type up the side of one leg in white with a black outline and 'CHEERIOS' printed up the side of the other leg with the same font and color scheme.
A plain fitted black t-shirt and a silver whistle hanging down around her neck. The 'TANA' printed in white on the right breast of the shirt is the only part of her name visible under her jacket.
Her current jacket is similar to, but still distinctly different from, the one that instilled so much fear in the student body. The style is very much the same except the body of the jacket is black instead of Cheerio red and the sleeves are Cheerio red instead of white. 'Cheerios' is still scrawled in red inside of the zippered hood, which is still white. 'Santana' is still written on the right breast…but her surname is as well, though it's partially obscured thanks to the lapel folded over it. Either way, it being on the front is odd considering the squad's jackets have always had their last names on the upper back under the hood. So this begs the question as to what's written on Santana's back, if anything…and also, why the hell is she still here!? Oh…
Horror!
'Assistant Coach'.
Oh, the humanity!
A student whimpers in fear, hidden behind their locker door. Until now, Coach Sue Sylvester's second-in-command has always been the captain of her Cheerio squad. It's a title that has always carried a great deal of power and has always inspired a significant amount of fear in and of itself…but there was still quite a gap between the amount of respect commanded by each title. Truth be told, Sue never trusted anyone to be half as competent as her nor did she ever consider anyone good enough to be in a position of equal, or near-equal, prestige as her own. Until now…
But…why? For the love of god, why? Santana was supposed to have started her first day of college last week. But…why? For the love of god, why? Santana was supposed to have started her first day of college last week. Everyone knows that Santana Lopez, the Cheerio that won three Nationals championships, two of which as squad captain, had her pick of pretty much any school of her choice. Her GPA was surprisingly high given her general disposition and the way she let others believe her to be. In fact, she had been .04 points away from being Valedictorian for the class of 2012. It is widely known that, among others, the University of Louisville in Kentucky offered her a full-ride based off her cheerleading record alone. The answer is a surprisingly uncomplicated, clear-cut and obvious one.
A tall blonde with a bright smile and iridescent blue eyes that are just as warm and friendly as the girl they belong to. Said blonde is walking alongside the Latina. In a Varsity captain jacket. Something about the jacket seems somewhat…off. It isn't the patches on the sleeves of which there is nothing abnormal – the three years the squad won Nationals on the upper right arm, five chevrons on the inside of the right forearm to indicate the number of years on the squad and the three black and red slashes on her upper left arm to identify her as the captain. Her name, 'Brittany', scrawled on the right side of her chest is spelt correctly. 'Cheerios' is written on the inside of the hood just like always. Even her last name on the back is perfectly…
Oh…well, that definitely helps explain some things…and further supports the fact that the blonde is the reason the shorter girl is still in Ohio and standing next to the second-year senior at the taller girl's locker.
After 'Assistant Coach', the second most frightening two-word combination to be uttered in these hallowed halls is 'Pierce-Lopez'. It is extraordinarily unfortunate for the students and faculty at William McKinley High School that 'Pierce-Lopez' is exactly what just so happens to be written on the back of Brittany's jacket. Even worse and further solidifying what many are beginning to fear to be true is that, before walking away from her locker, when Brittany reaches over to smooth down the collar of the smaller girl's jacket, the surname on the front of it following 'Santana' is revealed. It too reads 'Pierce-Lopez'.
By the end of this first day of school there will be a number of rumors swirling around about what happened and, while some may have a sliver of truth in it, none of them will come close. Only a handful of people know what the hell is really going on...
Three Months Ago – A Week Before Graduation
"How could you not tell me that you weren't going to graduate?" Santana shouts angrily as she paces in front of her girlfriend's bed. Brittany, sitting cross-legged on the bed and facing the Latina, simply shrugs as she idly plays with a loose thread on her comforter. "Don't do that!" She snaps, more desperate than angry.
"Don't do what?" Brittany asks after it becomes clear that the smaller girl isn't going to elaborate. Her voice is barely above a whisper, as though she's afraid to even speak at all.
"You know…" Santana throws her arms out wide for a moment and then gestures vaguely as if the odd action is somehow meant to replace words as she struggles to explain, "that thing you do," she finishes lamely, the other girl obviously not understanding. "Acting like you don't care and that something isn't a big deal when it really is," she manages to voice her sentiments.
"It isn't. It's not like anyone expected me to graduate anyways," the blonde sighs.
"That's bullshit. Even if your parents didn't, I did. Stop selling yourself short," the brunette practically growls at her girlfriend.
"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're just giving me too much credit?" Brittany snaps back rhetorically, the tears precariously threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes, belying the rising anger in her tone.
"No. Never," Santana firmly replies, her voice full of conviction. "You're the most talented person I know and you deserve so much more than to waste away in this fucking town just because you believed all the shit people said about you," she continues, goes over to where her girlfriend is still seated at the end of her bed, crouches down and takes both of the blonde's hands in her own.
"What am I even supposed to do if I graduate-"
"-when you graduate," Santana cuts her off to correct her, squeezing the taller girl's hands briefly, a sweet smile on her usually mischievously smirking lips.
Brittany allows herself to weakly return the smile before continuing. "No college in their right mind will accept me. I can't get a decent job without some kind of higher education. At least Lima is familiar and I won't feel as lost as I would be if I left," she sighs, staring at their joined hands.
"Britt…" Santana breathes out sympathetically before trailing off as she feels a hot tear drop onto their hands from the other girl's downcast eyes. "Why didn't you tell me this is how you felt?" She asks, her heart breaking as she watches the usually bubbly blonde sink into resigned defeatism.
The taller girl shakes her head subtly as if to say that she doesn't want to talk about it, several moments pass, quiet save for her sniffling before she cracks. "I didn't want you to break up with me," she confesses in a small voice, her motives making her feel pathetic and selfish.
Santana loosens her grip on the blonde's hands, but Brittany only squeezes tighter to keep the other girl from pulling away. "Brittany, look at me," she tries to meet her girlfriend's eyes.
"I only just got you, I'm not ready to lose you," Brittany barely manages to get out before releasing a sob.
There are no words sufficient enough to describe the agony Santana feels when seeing the blonde in such pain. So, she takes a moment to sit next to Brittany so she can compose herself to a point where she's confident enough that she can speak without her voice cracking before managing a smile for her girlfriend. "Britt-Britt," she coos softly to simultaneously get her attention and comfort her. It takes several seconds, but Brittany eventually lifts her gaze to meet the Latina's. "I've always been yours and no matter how many ways I've pictured my future, the only thing that never changes is the fact that you're a part of it," she confesses as she senses that this is something the other girl needs to hear even though she always assumed that it was a given.
"I don't want to hold you back. You're the smartest person I know and you're so talented that you're destined to be rich and famous. I'm just a big dumb loser that can't really do much of anything except dance. You're, like, Rachel Berry and I'm Finn Hudson. He has the IQ of a tampon but somehow she still loves him despite his gassy baby face and lack of coordination. And-"
"Brittany Susan Pierce!" Santana barks to get her attention. "First off, you are so much smarter, hotter and more talented than Finn Hudson could ever hope to be. Second, if you ever compare me to Berry again, I won't hesitate to unleash Snix and go all Lima Heights," she smirks when this elicits a giggle from her girlfriend, both knowing she's all talk. "And third, even though we are so much better than those two, both as individuals and as a couple, and they don't love each other half as much as you and I love each other-"
"Be nice 'Tana," Brittany grins, shaking her head in amusement.
"-they're still together and getting married and planning to spend the rest of their lives together," Santana continues as though never interrupted. "Now, if we really set our minds to it, then I can easily see us taking over the country, if not the world. You gotta admit B, 'President Pierce' still has a pretty good ring to it," she finishes with a playful smirk.
With a giggle and an eye roll, Brittany lays on her back on the bed, pulling Santana with her, the shorter of the two resting her head on the blonde's shoulder. "I think we should start small and work out way up to world domination. Maybe we should think about planning our wedding before we think about planning a government takeover," she jokes, only realizing the slip when she feels the girl in her arms tense slightly.
There is a moment of silence. "Do you really want us to get married?" Santana eventually asks, her voice soft and tentative.
"One day…maybe…in the distant future…in a galaxy far, far away," Brittany furrows her brows at the last part, which sounds vaguely familiar before remembering what she was talking about. "Only if you want to though. If not then, uh…no, I don't and I have no idea what you're talking about," she rambles self-consciously.
Santana's body shakes with restrained laughter before she presses a kiss to the corner of the blonde's lips and bops her on the end of the nose with her left index finger. "Sweetie, you should know by now that I would literally marry you tomorrow if you asked me to," she informs her candidly and casually.
The blonde bites her bottom lip to hold back her excitement. "I can't get down on one knee and propose with you clinging to me like a…clingy-type thing," she falters on her analogy with a baffled look of concentration.
"It doesn't matter. That's not an actual rule or anything," Santana assures her with a smile, assuming her girlfriend is being silly.
"…But I don't have a ring either," Brittany bites her bottom lip nervously.
Beginning to doubt if the girl is actually still joking, Santana hesitates for a split second before rolling over a little so she can curl into Brittany's side, she leans over so she can link her left pinky with Brittany's right one and lift them up for the blonde to see.
"I don't care. When have we done anything in this relationship the 'normal way'? We kissed and slept together before we actually got together. Hell, we had our first fight about our relationship before we were even officially in a relationship. We told each other we loved each other before we started dating. It wasn't until our third date that we actually held hands in public instead of just pinkies and by then we'd already been sleeping together, off and on, for about four years. So, who cares about whether or not you give me a ring? We've done everything out of whack already so what's one more thing? My mom would probably argue that our matching charm bracelets might as well be wedding rings anyways," she chuckles this last part, shaking their hands back and forth in the air by their pinkies to make the aforementioned bracelets jingle.
Brittany smiles slightly before releasing a sigh. "That's kind of my point though. I love that we're actually an official couple now, but it feels like we took too many wrong turns and made too many mistakes before we were able to get to this point. I just wanted to do something the right way in this for a change. I think you deserve it…especially after everything you went through this year," she mutters the last part.
The Latina huffs out a sigh. "Britt, I love you and I wouldn't care if you asked me by slipping a note written in crayon in my locker that asked me to check a box for either 'yes' or 'no'. You could write your proposal on your naked body with a can of whipped cream. Or you could even do the whole romantic dinner thing before getting down on one knee and asking. It doesn't matter because my answer will always be yes," she tells her honestly.
The room lapses into silence. Not awkward or uncomfortable or tense, just…pensive. As if of its own volition, Santana can feel her eyebrow arching up as if to say 'Really?' and she's glad the blonde can't see it. That's not to say that Santana's not getting close to actually asking on her eyebrow's behalf though.
"I want to start my last year of high school as 'Mrs. Pierce-Lopez'," Brittany announces, her decision firm.
"What?" Santana asks wanting to make sure the other girl is implying what she thinks she is.
"We're getting married this summer and you're going to start working on getting famous in New York while I finish repeating my Senior year. Then when I graduate my diploma will say 'Brittany Susan Pierce-Lopez'. By then you'll have become famous and I can join you in New York to be your trophy wife. I will totally be the Todd to your Sarah Palin. The Stedman to your Oprah…or the Gale to your Oprah," she grins, proud of her awesome skills for planning their future together.
Santana rolls her eyes playfully. "You're telling me that we're getting married?" She smirks.
"Well, yeah. You basically told me that I didn't need to ask so I figured I'd skip that part," she grins cheekily back.
"Yes, well, you seem to have forgotten that I'm not leaving Lima without you. I wasn't lying when I told Mom that the other night," Santana tells her seriously.
"San…" Brittany sighs. "What are you even going to do in Lima for a year? You'll just sit around and start resenting your wife, me," she pointedly, if unnecessarily, reminds her who her future wife will be, "for holding you back from living your life and then I'll feel guilty while you slowly descend into a dark depression and also alcoholism…and a possible addiction to Valium too because-"
"I'm telling Lord Tubbington to stop letting you DVR movies on Lifetime and Oxygen," Santana interrupts with a shake of her head. "Look, I'll figure out something to do with my time that doesn't in some way reflect a poorly produced movie-of-the-week. My main focus is going to be helping you graduate," she explains.
Then, as if by divine intervention, a little light bulb switches on in Brittany's brain (after precariously flickering a little at first). "Hey, since Coach Sue is going to be super pregnant before she goes into labor to give birth to the Antichrist, she's going to need help with her classes and Cheerios," she says knowingly.
Santana just nods idly before she realizes where this is going. "I can't work for Sue and it's not like Figgins will even approve it. He's super cheap," she points out.
"But he's also super dumb," Brittany points out, pausing as she adds 'school principal' to her mental list of future careers she's qualified for. "Besides, I'd feel so much better about going back to school for another year if I knew you'd be there with me," she throws in her patented pleading look that is simply too sad and pathetic for anyone with eyes and a soul to say no to.
"Fine, I'll talk to her on Monday," Santana mutters. "But if she says no and threatens to eat my spleen if I don't get out of her office, then I'm holding you accountable…Wifey," she smirks, laughing when her girlfriend's (fiancée's?) face turns red at the comment.
Coach Sue Sylvester, and the black hole of hormones and emotions that her pregnancy has reduced her to, nearly cried when Santana suggested she stick around to help her out until Brittany graduates. The petite brunette has five years of experience with her as coach considering all of the prep training in 8th grade in addition to cheer camp every summer, so she knows the older woman's standards and methods like the back of her hand. It's not like Sue even tried to deny that she would need help with the Cheerios and her scheming since she was going to be busy adapting to her role as – shudder – a mother…and like hell was she going to sink so low as to ask Roz Washington to help.
Given Mrs. Hagburg's retirement and the fact that Ms. Castle had to be 'let go' when an 'anonymous' tip came in about her morning coffee having more whiskey in it than creamer (or coffee, for that matter), there was more than enough in the budget for Figgins to approve putting the former Head Cheerio on the payroll. He'd actually been pleased considering the only thing he even remembered about her was her brief stint as a Bully Whip the year before. Then again, having Sue Sylvester pitching the idea to him in her usual "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you" tone didn't exactly hurt her cause either.
Relegated to bed rest for the remainder of her crime-against-nature pregnancy, Coach Sylvester had little choice but to temporarily hand over the reins of her duties as educator and Cheerio Coach. Thankfully WMHS is notoriously lax in terms of who they hire and what it is the students are even being taught so therefore no one notices or cares. If anyone actually expected anything better of the school or its principal then they might bother to point out how unethical, and illegal, it is for an uncertified 18 year old who graduated from their very school three months ago is now put in charge of the education of, essentially, her peers (and wife). It's a good thing this is something that the people of Lima, Ohio have come to expect from the school. Besides, the Lima Board of Education isn't nearly as unorganized and lazy as their DMV or postal service.
So, as it stands, the decidedly unqualified 18 year old girl that spent the last four years terrorizing this school is officially the newest member of WMHS's faculty. The fact that the aforementioned girl has also recently married the school's head cheerleader, a second-year senior, on the very squad that she is the Assistant Coach (and Head Coach pro tempore) of is really the least of the school's worries. Besides, the staff was already scared enough of the Latina when she was a mere student, the fact that she is now, technically, 'one of them' sent at least three faculty members into outright panic attacks when they heard the news (the soon-to-be Mrs. Emma Schuester surprisingly not being one of them). Nobody wants to get on both Sue and Santana's bad side, which would inevitably be the case if they were to complain.
To the two girls – women – standing by the lockers, all that matters to them is that they're together. They don't care that their 'wedding' involved a road trip to D.C., the nearest place same-sex marriages are legal…thankfully because the next closest place is fucking Iowa. They don't care that it was just them, three of their parents, Brittany's little sister and, of all people, Coach Sue. They try not to care about how Santiago Lopez, Santana's father, is glaringly absent because he was 'too busy with work' to go with them. Santana pretends not to care that Adelita Milagros, her abuela on her mother's side, refused to attend on the grounds that Santana 'is dead' to her. Brittany doesn't pretend that she doesn't notice her crying anyways. Everyone notices both of their mothers' crying loudly and profusely during the 'I do's while hugging the life out of each other while Sue blamed her watery eyes on hormones and allergies.
It doesn't matter that they didn't get their friends involved or that it was a small wedding hundreds of miles away from home. It doesn't matter that it took place in a civil servant's office in a government building. It doesn't matter that they were wearing their dresses from their Junior Prom, for reasons that only the two of them knew, while Brittany decided that her ensemble wasn't complete without a pair of bright, gaudy rainbow-striped leg warmers worn on her arms. None of it mattered because neither of them could wipe the ridiculous grins from their faces and each girl was convinced that her counterpart couldn't look more radiant. Their pinkies stayed hooked together through the entire ceremony except when they went to place the simple wedding bands on each other's fingers.
Afterwards, everyone went out to celebrate at a chain restaurant superior to BreadstiX according to everyone except Santana…and Brittany, of course. Both sets of parents had wanted there to be a big wedding with all of the girl's friends and family but there had obviously been little notice between Santana's graduation and the marriage. They can wait until all their friends come home at the end of the upcoming school year to have an actual wedding celebration.
As a wedding present, in addition to giving Santana her blessing to follow her dreams even if it wasn't to go to college, Maribel Lopez gave the newlyweds a significant sum of money. The Pierces, under the stipulation that Brittany graduates this year, would be funding the couple's honeymoon before they set off to really start their life together. Ten year old Emily Pierce was just beyond thrilled to be able to call Santana her sister-in-law (or just 'sister' most of the time) as often as possible, which everyone agreed was adorable. Not to be left out, Sue simply slid a plain silver key across the table between the two girls, who gave each other a look before turning their questioning gazes back to the Cheerio coach. Sue Sylvester's wedding present was just as much for the benefit of the Pierce and Lopez families as it was for the newly christened 'Pierce-Lopez's.
A fully furnished, modestly-sized apartment less than a mile from the high school but still within a reasonable distance to both girls' families. Paid in full through the end of June 2013. All they had to do was sign the lease…they didn't have to pay a cent since the utilities were covered in the lease agreement. Sue didn't even demand that they'd have to pay her back if they didn't bring her another Nationals trophy as her new Cheerio Captain and Assistant Coach…this was also when she informed them of their official titles coming into the 2012-2013 school year. Until then Santana's role had simply been referred to as 'assistant' so it was a big shock and an even bigger compliment to have a job title created specifically for her.
Sue (unconvincingly) justified the job title creation as being simply for payroll and tax purposes for the school. As for the apartment, she explained that, as newlyweds, it wouldn't be fair to either set of parents to constantly have to worry about walking in on their daughters going at it like bunnies...or even have to question living arrangements in the first place since they wouldn't even consider making the newlyweds live apart. She also might have implied somewhere in there that Brittany and Santana were also two of her Top 5 Favorite Cheerios of All Time (secretly meaning her 'Top Two Favorites') while cursing 'eye allergies' when she started tearing up again.
The rest of the summer leading up the cheer camp had been amazing and surreal. They spent little time outside of bed let alone outside the actual apartment. Cheer camp had been a bit tricky at first, but incredibly satisfying. Upon Brittany's arrival, reactions ranged from stunned surprise, maliciously comprehending smirks and, from the Freshman Cheerios, indifference and/or confusion about what the big deal was. Initially the meaner Cheerios had intended to gang up and mock the second-year Senior for not graduating, especially since it seemed as though Sue would not be there to interfere. However, those plans were cut short when an extraordinarily pregnant Sue made an appearance to drop the news that Brittany was the new squad captain and the not-so-surprising news that this stage of her pregnancy restricted her from stressful and/or strenuous activities so she would be unable to coach the squad. Any temporary relief met an untimely end when they were introduced to the Assistant Coach that would be stepping in to fill her shoes for the time being.
Santana Lopez, in no uncertain terms, had been one the most intimidating and terrifying people any of the girls had ever met second only to Coach Sylvester. The Latina had been notoriously protective of Brittany when she had been the Cheerio captain…but now she has even more power. Anyone that had been thinking of messing with Brittany quickly abandons that idea. Upon noticing the change of the surnames on the backs of Brittany and Santana's cheer camp t-shirts, a number of girls pale in terror and a couple temporarily lose consciousness…only two have the lady-balls to congratulate them. Brittany immediately tells Santana that those two are her favorite Cheerios now that Santana no longer is one.
So now, after a grueling month of cheer camp, a new school year is finally underway. Any passing Cheerios seem to nod their head in respect to Brittany, deferring to her in a way they never had in years previous. Brittany can't help but beam at the attention…even more so since Santana can't take her eyes off of her which means that she isn't intimidating anyone into showing the blonde respect. It's all Brittany.
Leaning back against the locker next to Brittany's with her arms folded across her chest for lack of anything better to do with them, Santana waits for the blonde to finish up with a fond smile. After putting her notebooks and binders in and sticking a few new pictures up on the inside of her locker, Brittany is satisfied for the time being. Closing her locker, Brittany turns to her wife and leans her left shoulder and the side of her head against her locker to stare right back at the smaller girl, her own arms folded across her chest and with an affectionate smile of her own.
"Hey Brittany," a familiar voice greets as she approaches from behind Santana.
"Hey Tina!" Brittany waves.
"Girl Chang," Santana smiles kindly at the Asian girl as she comes to a stop in front of the blonde.
Tina falters for a moment, surprised to see the Latina at all, but she quickly recovers. "Santana. Did you guys have a good summer?" She asks addressing them both since she knows they likely spent it attached to each other's hips. Despite having noticed the odd jacket Santana is wearing, she refrains from questioning it.
"Totally!" Brittany grins, answering on both of their behalf, bouncing in excitement as Santana watches with a look of open adoration at the cute display.
"What did you guys do?" Tina chuckles, almost immediately regretting asking given the dancer's tendency to overshare.
"We went on a road trip and moved in together and went to cheer camp," Brittany summarizes easily, not even thinking to elaborate since, to her, it's obvious if you know how to look…and she's right (mostly because of the wedding rings and jackets).
"You went to cheer camp?" Tina asks, her question directed towards Santana, who simply nods. "I thought you graduated," the Asian girl furrows her brows in confusion, her eyes sweeping over the black and red Cheerio jacket again.
"I did," Santana replies with a smirk and an arched brow.
"You're such a butthead," Brittany playfully nudges her counterpart and rolls her eyes. "She had to run cheer camp since she's the Assistant Coach and Sue's stuck in bed until her baby hatches from its prehistoric egg," she explains. Santana bites her bottom lip to keep from laughing.
Tina smiles and shakes her head, choosing not to acknowledge the crack about Sue's age. "Congratulations Santana," she says instead, having had a feeling that the Latina wouldn't even think of going anywhere if she didn't have Brittany with her. "Where'd you guys go on your road trip?" She asks, expecting to hear about some wild misadventure rivaling that of National Lampoon's Vacation.
"We drove to D.C. with my parents, my sister, Santana's mom and Coach Sue," Brittany chirps.
At that, Tina looks over at Santana to confirm that that actually happened and it isn't the blonde just saying something off the wall. Santana nods subtly, her poker face giving nothing else way. "That's…bizarre. What did you do there…together?" She can't help but ask, wondering what could possibly bring Sue together with the girls' families like that.
"Santana and I got married!" Brittany announces, probably far louder than intended as she grabs her wife's hand and lifts it up with her own to show Tina their wedding rings.
"C-c-congrat-ulations," Tina splutters after a moment in the now silent hallway, all eyes on the trio.
"Then we spent the rest of the summer until cheer camp practicing making lady-babies," Brittany beams proudly, rocking back and forth on her feet and swinging her and Santana's joined hands. The brunette face-palms with her free hand and shakes her head at the other girl's declaration.
"Wow…yeah…I'm gonna…just…go away now," a red-face Tina backs away before turning and practically sprinting down the hall.
"Oh my god," Santana murmurs before bursting into laughter. "ReallyBritt-Britt?" She questions with incredulous amusement. Brittany just smirks and shrugs carelessly before turning her full attention back to her wife with a sweet, calm smile as she forgoes their handhold in favor of hooking her left pinkie with Santana's right one.
"I think this is going to be the best year ever," the blonde Cheerio Captain says with a coy smile, dropping her voice at the end and drawing out the last word…much like she did when announcing last year's prom theme.
"Yeah B, I think so too," the Assistant Cheerio Coach agrees with a tender smile before leaning over and placing a chaste kiss on the other girl's lips.
"Ladies," a heavily accented voice draws out in a warning from beside them.
"Yeah, we know," Santana sighs as she turns and looks at Principal Figgins.
"What did I tell you?" Figgins asks them expectantly hoping to make sure they understand the rules.
"There is to be no fornication on school grounds between students and staff, not even if they're married," Brittany rolls her eyes, brows furrowing when she sees how wide Figgins eyes are and notices that he seems to have forgotten how to breath.
"No Britt, it's 'fraternization', not 'fornication'," Santana corrects, barely able to contain her amusement.
Brittany simply shrugs indifferently because, after all, both are equally accurate in their case.
To Be Continued...
Yes, I know I should be working on the next chapter of Within You Without You but this idea wouldn't leave me alone until I got it out.
For those of you who skipped the Rant at the top, this story was a response to the fact that Finn is dumber than Brittany (and Puck) yet he graduated with no problem. When all the academically ineligible Cheerios were suspended from practice in Season 1, Brittany was one of only three Cheerios that showed up. Yes, Schue mentioned one of the Cheerios answered questions on his Spanish test by drawing a sombrero, but he never said it was Brittany…and like he's one to even talk considering he probably didn't really know the answer either. I digress…
Anyways, I could actually have seen this happening (and not just as a part of my head-canon)…or at least the basics of this. Santana and Brittany are fan favorites on this show and, with Brittany obviously being back, Santana wouldn't have gone anywhere without her if she was written at all consistently. Unlike every other main couple, Santana was the least willing to leave without her counterpart and Brittany was reluctant to let her go. Santana wanted Brittany to get out with her and she even told her mother that she was going to wait.
The scene with Sue and Quinn made me want to throw up a little in my mouth so I ignored it in favor of my own head-canon involving Santana being Sue's favorite. Quinn left the Cheerios twice and she quit glee club for a while and showed us the crazy/instable side of her so I know that there is no way Yale would accept her no matter her GPA. Santana won two Nationals trophies for Sue as Captain and a third trophy as a regular member on the squad. The only year the Cheerios lost was the year neither Santana nor Britt were on the squad. How many trophies did Quinn have anything to do with? One…as a generic member of the squad.
Sue is pregnant and, granted, it's a stupid fucking plot, but she isn't going to be able to properly coach the Cheerios if she's pregnant and then trying to raise her demon child (I seriously hope she names it Damien…even if it's a girl). She hates Roz Washington with every fiber of her being so she would never allow her to, potentially, usurp her position of Cheerio Coach. With Santana, Sue would be able to rest assured that she will not try to permanently replace her since it's a given that the role is temporary and will only last one school year…long enough for Sue to get relatively comfortable as a mother (barf). Mrs. Hagburg really did retire (and I like writing Sue as using any excuse to get rid of Brenda Castle because she holds a grudge), so we already know there will be room for the notoriously cheap Figgins to put Santana on the payroll for a year.
Any and all feedback is welcome through a review or PM, whatever you choose…even if it's just a typo or something. Even if you don't review – and somehow are still reading at this point – I hope you at least enjoyed the read.
