Interview

Don't bother looking for Diagon
Alley...there's no such place!

Original story material is the property of the fanfic author; other material of Rowling et al. falls under the usual disclaimer.

"I think we've been really fortunate with the Potter stories," said Steve. "Y'know, in the US, when the old Superman TV show was first run in the 1950s, a few kids tied pretend-capes around their necks and jumped out of barn lofts -- into hay, I hope. They wanted to see if they could fly."

"Well, unless you can get a broom to pay attention," said Jo, "you'll have a problem jumping off the ground, Hogwarts style. It only works in my books, and Steve's films. In retrospect, I shouldn't have Neville's great-uncle dropping him out the window to see if he bounces -- that was a bit dodgy, but no one's been silly enough to try it."

"And so far, Jo," asked Lizo, "no one has succeeded with your potion recipes?"

"Try as hard as you like, it should be impossible to make any of my potions. I believe one poor woman tried, and only made herself sick. The every-flavour beans have turned out well, though, from what I hear."

Steve, straight-faced, added a thought. "As far as I know, Floo Powder doesn't work either. At least for me; Lord knows I've tried. I've stood in my fireplace and thrown all kinds of powder on the floor by the handful, and all I got was dirty shoes." Jo chortled at that.

"So, to sum up," said Lizo, "the simple truth is, Harry's magical world is a wonderful place to visit in a book, or a movie, or your imagination, but unfortunately, you can't go there!"

"Exactly," nodded Jo.

"I'd go there," added Steve, "but Jo won't tell me how. Thinks I'll hurt myself."

Lizo brought the interview to a close. "As always, thank you, Jo and Steve, for more enlightenment for our Newsround fans, and good luck with your respective projects."

"A pleasure," answered Jo. "Thanks, Lizo," said Steve.

The recording crew relaxed, waved, and left for the editing room. Steve, Jo and Lizo chatted as they headed for the lobby.

"Are you going back to California tonight, Steve?" asked Lizo.

"Nah, too many time zones for a non-stop trip; it wrecks me. I've got a few stops anyway. I'm at a script conference at Shepperton tomorrow, TV interview in New York on Monday morning, then back to the west coast on Tuesday. How 'bout you, Jo, you're going north tonight?"

"Um hum. Neil and I are taking the little guy to the play park tomorrow, if it doesn't rain.... What's this, Lizo? Going back to your desk at this hour? Are you on overtime?"

Lizo nodded, pausing at the office doorway. "I'll be on it for days. I wasn't joking. You've made it all so realistic, some fans have concluded the government is conspiring to hide a magic world from the muggles. There are new examples every day! They prowl shops in Borough Market, looking for a passage to Diagon Alley; they dial 62442 in all the telephone boxes. They suspect every tumble-down ruin in Scotland is a charm, concealing the site of Hogwarts. The PM's staff thinks it's time to deter these folks."

"Sounds like a plan. Well, good luck," said Steve, shook hands with his British friends, and vanished with a snap.

"Good night, Lizo," said Jo, and likewise disapparated, as a tired Lizo entered his busy Level 3 Ministry office.