Hi. Uh...this is my first fanfiction, so be as blunt as possible! I want criticism!
"Damn you Mustang!" Edward roared, throwing his gloved hands into the air.
"Brother," Alphonse whined.
"First he sends us on that damn mission, and there weren't even any leads on the Philosopher's Stone! And then he tells us to write a report? That bastard!" Ed scuffed the ground with his leather boots, as if imagining that Roy Mustang's face was there. To him, it probably was.
"But Brother, he can't find good leads every time! And we always write reports!" Al said, attempting to defuse the ticking bomb that was Ed.
"But it was useless!"He huffed and glared at the ground, waves of anger still flowing off of him.
It was a strange sight to see, at least to any normal person. A giant suit of armor trying to pacify a short, blonde midget? Most would think they were on drugs. Bad drugs.
The two brothers were walking down a crowded street, though not as crowded as Central. Tall buildings surrounded them on either side, promising 'good food,' 'a place to stay,' or 'drinks.' It was indeed a pleasant city, one that was surrounded by alleyways full of shady bars, and shady people. And probably a scarred, Ishvalan serial killer that would like nothing else than to blow the blonde midget into bits. But I digress.
As Ed was muttering something rather unpleasant about a womanizing Colonel, an old lady saw it fit to walk up to the pair.
"Please find my Snuffles!" she screeched, her voice like nails on a chalkboard. "You look like a capable young man! Please find my cat! He went missing and–" At this point, the woman threw herself onto Al's steel boots, bursting into tears.
"Hell no!" Ed yelled, attempting to drag Al away. Unfortunately, a plump mass was still clinging onto the suit of armor's foot. "Get off, you cow!"
"Oh, please! My poor Snuffles is lost out there, and who knows where he is? He could be on someone's dinner plate!" the woman cried. Ed looked up at Al, whose expression was somehow very emotional, under the steel.
"Your poor cat! Miss, we'll find him!" Al announced.
"No! Al, we need to get to Central! We can't waste time looking for a stupid cat," Ed pleaded, wishing that Al wasn't so fond of cats.
"Ed! How could you be so inconsiderate! This lady wants us to find her cat, who's probably starving! I always wanted a cat…so please let me do this, Brother!" And that was where Ed's resolve shattered. It broke into a million pieces and was blown away by the wind. Ed inwardly mourned his loss.
"F-fine. But right after that we're going to Central, alright? No more cats!"
"Thank you, Brother!" Al cried, his sad demeanor completely gone, "Miss, what does your cat look like?" Still sniffling, the plump woman handed over a picture. In the picture was a small, golden tabby with black markings around its back, legs, and face. It was apparently scoffing at a bowl of milk.
"It's just like you, Brother!" Al teased. Immediately, a dark aura seemed to surround Ed.
"I. AM. NOT. SHORT!" Ed yelled, snatching the picture away from Al. "Let's go find the damn cat…"
A short few minutes later, the two brothers were wandering around the giant city, scrutinizing it for any signs of the golden tabby. Ed was simply walking, however, lazily looking at the scenery, while Al was ducking into anything he could find. Alleys, stores, trashcans–nothing was off-limits for Al.
"Hey Al," Ed said, spotting a flash of gold. "I think I see it." Al darted in the direction that he was pointing and came back with the golden tabby. "Good, we've got the cat; we can go now."
"But Brother, we need to check first," Al said, taking the picture of the cat from Ed's outstretched hand. The younger brother compared the cat and the picture, taking in every detail. "It's not her cat," Al announced.
"What? How the hell can you tell?" Al held up the cat, showing its undersides to his older brother.
"She's female," Al replied. Ed cursed, turning away to yell at the sky while Al busied himself with stuffing the cat into his torso.
"Damn…come on, Al." Ed turned on his heel and walked forward, throwing his hands in the air. Placing his chest plate back on, Al obediently followed, careful not to move the poor cat.
Suddenly, Ed's stomach growled, causing him to turn to the nearest restaurant and announce, "I'm starving! Let's go in, Al!" Ed called, opening the door. The suit of armor jogged over, accidently disturbing the cat. Hearing a mew, Ed turned suspiciously towards Al, eyeing his torso. "Al…is that a cat?"
"N-no, Brother! That was just your stomach!" Al yelped, nervously waving his hands.
"You know we can't keep a cat," Ed sighed. Seeing Al's pitiful look, he added, "We'll find it a home while we're searching for that other damn cat."
"Thank you, Brother!" He walked over to Ed and ducked his head as they entered the restaurant, his tassel just barely hitting the top. Once they walked in, all heads turned towards them. Most of the attention was focused on Al; it wasn't often that a suit of armor walked into such a place.
"Now, now, I know I'm handsome, but isn't this a bit too much?" Ed grinned, seating himself at a table in the corner. Al followed after him, while a waiter came up to the table, taking out a pen and a small notebook.
"It's an honor to be serving you, Fullmetal Alchemist!" The young man bowed to Al, wringing his hands together nervously.
"O-oh, I'm not..." Al said, pointing to Ed. The waiter looked doubtful.
"Ah, but you look a little young…" He replied, facing Ed.
"Are you implying something?" Ed growled, clenching his fists.
"Well, you are a little sho-"
"WHO ARE YA CALLIN' A LITTLE MIDGET THAT COULD LIVE ON THE SMALLEST HYDROGEN ATOM!"
"Brother, he didn't say that…" Al sighed, glancing apologetically at the man. Soon after, Ed gave his order to a disgruntled waiter, muttering about bad service. As they waited, the locals started to migrate towards them, whispering excitedly.
"So you're the Hero of the People, huh?" A strong-looking man up front asked.
"Yep," Ed announced lazily, leaning into his chair.
"Well, since you're such a hero…care to help us out?" The man walked forward, leaning on the table.
"No," Ed snapped. "I'm already looking for that damn cat; I don't need anything else to deal with." The man's eyes lit up.
"A cat, you say? Then you wouldn't mind lookin' for some of our pets while you're at it, then?" Ed looked up, surprised. What's with these pets disappearing? Does it have anything to do with that cow's cat?
"I…might look into it…" Ed said thoughtfully, putting a hand on his chin. "Then again…" A glint appeared in his eye. "What would you be willing to pay me?" The crowd almost lost their balance from the shock.
"What kind of hero are ya?" The strong man yelled. Ed just snickered and watched as the waiter came over with his truckload of food. He watched in delight as the crowd talked amongst themselves, shoveling food into his mouth. They were still arguing once he had finished, but that wasn't much of a surprise to Ed. He ate quickly, after all.
"We're willing to pay you…thirty thousand cenz," The man said doubtfully. Ed grinned and took the receipt from the waiter. After slamming it down on the table dramatically, he dragged Al out of the restaurant and called over his shoulder,
"Have fun paying that!" The crowd looked up and yelled in outrage, as the strong man picked up the bill. His eyes bugged out, as he yelled at the top of his lungs,
"ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND CENZ?"
