Why?

Author's Note: This is my first attempt on writing D.N.Angel fanfic. It –will- contain hints of male/male relationship between Hiwatari x Daisuke and Dark x Krad. However, the hints will be indirect, so frankly speaking, there will not be any action between them. The story revolves around Hiwatari and Krad having a conversation about Daisuke and Dark. And a piece of Krad's past which I made up for this story. Plus I suck in making titles... Gomen Ne Minna!

Disclaimers: Hiwatari, Krad, Dark and Daisuke do not belong to me! I cannot draw that well! They all belong to Sugisaki Yukiru!!!

Warnings: I think I told you already ^^. This story contains male/male relationship! So, if you don't like the idea of Hiwatari having romantic feelings towards Dai-chan, you better hit the back button now!!!

Special thanks to Silver for beta-ing this fic!

/Krad's thoughts/

//Hiwatari's thoughts//

"Normal speaking"

'Dark speaking'

'Daisuke speaking'

***

The azure-eyed boy was typing the report for his dad about Dark furiously on the computer in his room. He was sitting on a chair in front of the desk with warm white milk on top of the desk. Occasionally he would pause his typing, and sipped the warm not-too-sweet liquid slowly.

//Dark…// He thought angrily as the image of a smirking phantom thief appeared on his laptop screen.

//I will catch you the next time we meet! Surely…//

/So that you can get rid of me, right Satoshi-sama? / The icy voice that he hated and feared suddenly invading his mind. The fourteen-year-old prodigy clenched his fist tightly, before answering his alter ego by asking him back.

//Yes, Any problem with that, Krad?//

/Why can't you like me the way you like that Niwa? / Hiwatari could almost see the blond demon smirked as he mockingly asked him. Being a part of him, Krad understood and knew all his feelings and thoughts, whereas he couldn't guess or understand any of Krad's thoughts and actions. This was a part of his many reasons why he hated him until death.

//This is none of your business// the blue-eyed boy tried to sound as calm as possible but the honey colored hair demon knew better.

/Oh really? So, should I change to you now and tell that Niwa the truth? Your true feelings for him… And the fact that you think about him every night before you sleep?/

Upon hearing this, Hiwatari Satoshi abruptly stood up. The chair was being knocked down to the floors by his force and the glass of milk spilled on the desk. His face showed pure hatred and anger.

//You know nothing about love! So don't you dare tell him everything! You don't have the right to do it cause you are just a piece of ice block whose emotions have long gone!// the lonely prodigy's shout echoed in his apartment.

/You said I know nothing about love? How cruel of you Satoshi-sama…/ Krad's voice was extraordinary bitter. Hiwatari blinked twice before he asked his alter ego.

//Why do you sound so bitter?//

/You know nothing about me Satoshi-sama…/

Hiwatari stood silent for a while, trying to figure out the sudden change of his proud, full of sarcasm, and mean yet beautiful alter ego who was at the back of his mind. He thought back to their first conversation of the day and realized that Krad had changed after he said that the icy demon was heartless and emotionless. Then the word love clicked inside his mind. Could it be? That Krad had once experienced love? The reserved youth shook his head. No, no, no, it's impossible! And even if it's true, who would the icy demon had love?

/Satoshi-sama?/ The long-haired man's voice startled him and that's when his tongue moved by itself.

//Ha… Have you ever been in love, Krad?// Satoshi expected some maniac laughs, some spats and sarcasm about how stupid he was when he asked those silly questions, but instead, silence was what he get.

//Krad?//

/…/ Still no answer. He let out a long sigh, a sign of giving up. Hiwatari should've known that it took more than a simple question to get Krad to open up to him… However, judging from the condition and the silent treatment he received, he concluded that Krad must've fallen in love, at least once. This may just be a mere guess but he'll settle with that, for now…

/He is a bastard, Satoshi-sama/ Came an unexpected reply which made his body tensed.

//He? So, the one you like is a boy?//

/Apparently, yes… I fall in love with a bastard who leaves me for a human woman/ the demon's voice was filled with pain and strangely Satoshi felt sorry for him. His own heart hurt also and for the first time, he thought of Krad as a loss child. A vision soon came into his blue eyes, a vision of Krad's memory…

Snow was falling from the endless dark sky, covering the earth with its whiteness and coldness. In a deserted garden, in front of a big mansion, two forms, one clad in dark and the other in white could be seen standing still.

"What did you just say?" A trembling voice belonged to the form clad in white asked in disbelief.

"I'm sorry… I don't love you anymore…" The form in black murmured in regret. His purple eyes were staring straight into the other's yellow ones which radiated disbelief and sorrow.

"Wh… What do you mean by that? Didn't you say that nothing could come between us? you promise me that you'll love me forever????"

"I'm really sorry…" As he apologized, a female form appeared from behind the tree near him. Her long brown hairs were covered with her white winter hat. She had a pair of large, innocent, captivating eyes and she walked to stand beside the black form. The other could only see them holding hands and soon realization hit him hard.

"You… You abandon me for this woman? For this human?" He shouted in great distress and hatred. Hatred of being abandon just because of this human… This low-life mortal woman!

Krad, the one clad in white, acted on impulse and charged towards the girl. He was ready to throw energy balls on her but what he didn't expect was that the man clad in black protected the woman and send him flying to the other side. His white clothes were stained in his red blood, which trickled down from his mouth.

"So… This is it huh?" His voice was shaking in misery. He still didn't believe that this was the same person who had conquered his heart and told him that he loved him. Yes, he loved him, all past tense now. Those nights when he would cradle and rock him gently, those shiny days where they would walk together and eat outside, all those good old days were gone…

"I guess, your promises are all lies from the start… You never love me… Yet I love you up until now…" When his ex-lover didn't answer he gritted his teeth hard. He tried to stand up with all his might and somehow managed. Warm blood spilled down from his mouth into the white snow underneath.

"Gomen, Krad, and Sayonara …" The form in black said as he put his hand on the woman's shoulder and walked away from him.

"Sa…" His voice was stuck in his throat. The tears which he'd been holding back since the other said that he didn't love him now fall freely into the snow from his eyes. Krad felt betrayed but even so, he couldn't completely say that he hated the other! He couldn't say the word sayonara… Why? Why did his heart hurt so much? Why did he still love the other even after he betrayed him? Why…

"WHY?"

*+*

Different types of emotion ran inside his form as he watched Krad's memory. Surprise, pity, anger, and guilt. He felt guilty for calling the demon heartless and emotionless, then who would guess that beneath those layers of frostiness laid a child whose heart had shattered into tiny bits of pieces.

Hiwatari trembled furiously as the scene slowly faded away and changed back into his apartment view. His heart bled as he witnessed Krad's memory. He wanted to do something to stop it, to mend it, but he was powerless.

//I didn't know that you… you had been betrayed by Dark…//

/Please, say no more…/ Krad begged. The fourteen year old prodigy suddenly realized that by showing him his reminiscence, the honey haired demon had re-opened his old wound that hadn't heal even until now… Hiwatari could almost hear the tear-jerking sob at the back of his mind.

//You don't want me to end up like you ne?// He asked softly and could sense Krad nodding.

//Gomen Krad, but it's already too late… I've already fall for him…// Hiwatari smiled sadly and gently.

/But Satoshi-sama! He doesn't love you!! Like Dark never loved me!!/ Krad shouted desperately, trying to convinced his young master to not to take the wrong path like he did back then.

/His words are poisoning Satoshi-sama!!!/

//That maybe true… But even so, you still love Dark right?// And Krad went still again. His master's remark had hit him hard.

//See? No one can control who they love Krad… So be it… We may end up crying but I'm happy for having these feelings…//

/Satoshi-sama… Why?/

//I don't know… I guess, I'm just being me…// and with that he smiled genuinely.

//You ought to be honest about your own feelings too, Krad…// He added.

***

Owari!! [I decided to end it here since I have no further idea for this! I may do a sequel, but I don't know…]

Author's final note: Well, it's finish! My first attempt on an angst Dark + Krad is finished! Hope you guys enjoy (?) this, which I think you won't cause the ending is not that satisfying… I suck at making endings and titles gomen ne! Guess that's it! Ja na Minna-san!

Completed on August 31, 2003.

9:39 PM.